Gifted, A Donovan Circus Novel (27 page)

As I stepped out of my trailer
and headed towards Gabriel’s, thoughts whirred through my head. Gabriel drove
me nuts, but as Delia had said, wasn’t that how relationships on a playground
worked? I felt I could trust him and the fact he put himself out there really
meant a lot. He didn’t seem the type to ever do that. I owed him an
explanation, even though I had no idea what I would say. I did feel something
for him; I suspected I had ever since he’d opened up to me and shared his past.
I didn’t know what I wanted anymore but I had psyched myself up by the time I
reached his camper.

“Gabriel, can I come in?” I
knocked on his front door, eager to talk to him. It was silly, but now I was
almost excited to see where things could go for us.

“Lucy? Uh, just a minute. I’ll
be right out,” I heard him say.

He sounded weird. What was he
doing? I put my ear to do the door and heard bumps and thuds. Then I heard the
clink of a belt buckle. Finally, a shuffle came near the door and it opened.
Gabriel’s head popped out—his hair stuck out everywhere and he looked
surprised to see me. I grimaced—maybe I had caught him touching himself or
something.

“I didn’t expect you’d be by,”
he said.

“Well, I came by to apologize
for earlier. I’m sorry for bolting like that. I’m so stupid—I shouldn’t
have simply shut you out. I want to have an adult talk.”

He slipped outside and shut the
door behind him. His shirt was disheveled, the buttons mismatched, and he was
barefoot. He crossed his arms and gave me a cold look.

“Were you jumping in the shower
or something?” I asked him.

“What? No. Uh—what kind of
adult talk?”

“I made it weird. I shouldn’t
have done that. You were honest with me about what you’ve been through and
wanted to know a secret about me, one that no one else would know. So I thought
I’d tell you one of mine, one of the reasons I froze earlier today when you
tried to make me face reality.”

His face softened. He opened his
mouth to speak but I shook my head at him and continued.

“My whole life is a
mess—my mom just died, my supposedly heroic dad might have been some
circus mafia guy, and I’m being accused of murdering one of our own. Never mind
that when I think about that night we were attacked, I struggle not to vomit.
I’m having a
really
hard time and you
have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you any of this. I don’t know what
to do and as easy as it would be with Keegan, I have feelings for you, too.”

I practically ate my words I
spoke so fast. I wasn’t even sure if he heard that last sentence. His eyes got
dark and he had this look on his face, like he was about to be sick.

Something was wrong.

Then on cue, as though God
himself wanted to intervene and knock some smarts into me, the door to
Gabriel’s camper opened and out walked a tall, very attractive brunette. I
almost died.

“Had fun. Call me next week if
you’re still in town; my number’s on your table,” she purred. She touched his
cheek and walked past me without so much as a glance. He just stood there,
looked at me with that horrified expression.

My head dropped and I couldn’t
bear to meet his eyes. Where was Renata the Earthshaker to open up the ground
to swallow me whole? There was nothing I could do but react.

“I better go,” I said, barely
looking up at him. When I caught a glimpse of his face, I had never seen anyone
so pale.

“Lucy—,” he started, but I
couldn’t stand here and listen, not when I had made myself look like a complete
fool. I might catch fire if I didn’t run away right that second.

“No, it’s fine. We’re all adults
here and you are free to do to whatever, or in your case, whomever, you please.
I need to leave.” In my head I sounded like a robot. Sarcasm and anger bubbled
in my throat. My palms burned; I had moments before they flamed. I’d never
opened up like that and the rejection was overwhelming.

“Please, let me explain—”
he tried again.

“Really, it’s fine. I was crazy
to even say anything. I mean I’m sort of already seeing someone and you’re,
well, busy so I’m gonna go and I’ll see you around. I was stupid to think
anything about it.”

I knew he could see the fire in
my shaking hand; if I didn’t go, it would be only minutes before my
self-torture consumed me into a giant, angry fireball. I turned around and
walked away as fast as possible.

Instead of my trailer, where
Gabriel was sure to try first if he followed me, I ran to my car. He could look
there, but it might take him a minute to figure it out. I could always drive
away if I saw him coming over.

I found my small car and quickly
got in. I locked the door and took a few deep breaths. My entire body shook as
I tried to keep my emotions in check, struggled to keep flames from consuming
me. Never had I put myself out there like that and gotten so burned. My pride
absolutely smashed, my stomach in knots, I couldn’t remember a time I’d been so
mad at myself. I shouldn’t have put myself out there.

And I couldn’t believe that
jackass had gone and bedded someone before I’d barely had time to consider the
situation. My fist hit the steering wheel in a vicious jab.

My thoughts were too scattered
to focus. I breathed deep twice more. I could not have a panic attack over a
boy. Get real—now it was time for damage control.

“Get your shit together, Lucy.
You, like a fool, put yourself out there and it backfired. It happens.
Prioritize—you’ve got bigger problems. Time to get a strategy together,”
I muttered.

“I should know better than to
get involved with someone like Gabriel. He’s moody and standoffish and he tries
so hard to make sure no one thinks he cares. He does things for himself and he
probably won’t change that habit any time soon. And where the hell did he even
find someone who looked like that in our audience to already sleep with him?”

I was angry with him, but I also
had to be realistic—I blew him off despite his honesty and hurt his
feelings. Guys like Gabriel didn’t take rejection well. I wasn’t about to date
him now due to my recently renewed fear of STDs, but it wasn’t like I could
ignore him in this place. It also made me realize that if he could turn around
after a fight and do that within a few hours, maybe I didn’t want to be with
him after all. I’d at least like him to wait a day before sleeping with anyone
else, maybe get a meal or two in.

How stupid was I for even
thinking it could work? Besides, I did really like Keegan; he was a great guy,
so sweet and friendly. He seemed to genuinely like me and we had fun together.
How could I even think about hurting him that way? I could have a great thing
with him. I didn’t want us on bad terms and make things awkward or even worse,
cause tension between any friends. I didn’t want to lose my new friends—I
couldn’t imagine any of them siding with me when they’d been together for so
long.

Gabriel was a bad boy, Keegan
was the popular, wholesome one, and I was becoming a high school tragedy. I
really needed to get over myself when there were bigger events at play.

“My new strategy is to stay the
hell away from all of it,” I mumbled. It was the only way I could avoid the
trouble. Keep things with Gabriel purely professional—that brunette in
his trailer was my reminder of why I never jumped into things. Keep things with
Keegan casual. Don’t put my friends in the middle of my boy drama.
There—now it was time for the next problem.

I had to figure out how I was
going to clear my name from Marty’s murder. That one was the highest priority
with the least amount of solutions. How the eff was I going to get out of this?

I checked my appearance in the
rearview mirror. Bags underneath my glassy, red eyes made me look as though I
hadn’t slept in weeks. I looked pale, even underneath the newly acquired tan
from hours in the sun. The last few weeks, hell, the last few
years
showed in my face.

I breathed deep and got out of
the car for fresh air. I wasn’t ready to head back yet. I walked over to
examine the ground where Marty’s body was left the other night. Bits of gravel
crunched beneath my feet as I shifted to get a closer look. There were still
scorch marks in the dirt.

“I don’t even know what I’m
looking for,” I muttered.

“Talking to yourself is the
first sign of losing it,” a voice from the woods replied.

I froze. While the lurking was a
Gabriel play, that was not his voice. I didn’t recognize it at all. I could
only process one thing: I was not alone in the darkness.

Chapter
22

“Who’s there?” I called out to
the shadows. I turned my wrist to conceal a small flame in my palm in case I
should be prepared.

A figure emerged from the dark.
I could only make out the silhouette, but as it got closer, details became
clearer. He had a small frame, graying dark hair and he dressed in khakis with
a white button-down shirt. Moonlight bounced off black-rimmed glasses over
brown eyes that never left my stare. He stopped a few feet from where I stood
and I could see a crooked nose where it had presumably been broken once or
twice. Who was this nerd? I almost looked for a pocket protector on his chest.

“Hello, Lucy,” he said. His
voice had a nasally pitch to it. I didn’t trust it for a second.

“And you are?” I asked. I didn’t
lose the fire in my hand just yet.

“My name is Dr. Felix J. Hardy.”

A memory that seemed from a
hundred years ago hit me. Oh no. This was the guy who destroyed Brooklyn’s
mother. He looked nothing like I pictured—where was his black turtleneck
or bloodstained lab coat?

I wanted to smack myself. I
really needed to stop wandering out in the dark alone. Don’t panic, Luce. Play
it cool and get him out of here. Then get to Sheffield.

“What are you doing here, Felix?
I’m pretty sure you’re not welcome here.”

“Are you the new security around
here?” he guffawed.

“In a manner of speaking, maybe
I am,” I replied. It wasn’t entirely untrue, at least. My response made his
chuckle fade away.

“Shame what happened to the last
one. What was his name? Martin?”

“Marty.”

“Ah, yes. Marty. He was an
Unbreakable, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Yeah. So did you really drive
Brooklyn’s mom crazy?”

Felix didn’t respond; he merely
looked at me with a calm expression on his face. I didn’t know what to do. The
only thing I knew about him was that he was a dangerous human who knew ways to
actually hurt me if he got close enough.

“She was an unfortunate loss. I
very much would have liked to use her gift. Now that you mention it, I wonder
if Brooklyn would be interested in conducting an experiment?” he asked.

My hand itched to slap the
amusement off his face. “I wouldn’t suggest it to her—unless you want to
have your testicles removed.”

“What happened to her mother was
an accident. She should’ve been cured and I should’ve been a Telepath.”

His cold tone made me cringe inside.
“What are you doing here, Felix?”

“I was in the area. Thought I’d
say hello to some old friends and on my way in, look who I find
first—Lenny Sullivan’s little girl. I haven’t seen you since you were
very small.”

His mentioning my father felt
like bait. I needed to keep my temper under control. My flame wavered angrily
in my hand.

“You knew my dad. So what?”

“Lucy, I took care of your dad
and the others here for a long time. I’m a doctor.”

“I thought you were a
scientist.”

“Well, the two can be interchangeable.”

“Cut the crap, Felix. I know
you’re not here to get nostalgic.” I held my head high, determined to not give
him any the satisfaction of intimidating me.

“Despite whatever awful things
I’m sure people told you, I’m not that bad a guy.”

“So they just wanted to tell me
scary bedtime stories?” I asked.

“I can’t speak for them, but I’m
really not evil. I want to help you, all of your kind.”

“Gifted or Firestarters?” I
asked.

“Well, both,” he said with a
smile.

I said nothing and he observed me
for a moment. I kept a straight face, determined not to give him any possible
ammunition.

“You seem skeptical,” he finally
said. “Someone must have told you bedtime stories.”

“No,” I said. “They told me how
you went all crazy and steal us off the streets for your own ridiculous
experiments.”

“I don’t kidnap, silly girl,” he
said without missing a beat. “I have willing participants. They all know I can
help them.”

“How do you figure? There’s
nothing wrong with us.”

“Some aren’t as comfortable in
their gift as you may be. For those that don’t want their gift, I can be of
assistance. Haven’t
you
ever wondered
what it would be like to be normal for once? To not be a freakish outcast in
everyday situations, like grocery stores or malls? To not live in fear of hurting
anyone or causing destruction?”

Even though I knew I shouldn’t,
I paused. Of course I had wished to be normal; I didn’t know even one person
who didn’t go at least once in their life wondering. Every day of my life was a
gamble. The fear had ruled me in high school.

But that was then and this was
now. I had no desire to be whatever Felix thought normal to be. It took me
years to feel acceptance of my gift. I wasn’t going to let Felix trick me into
doubting myself in a few minutes.

However, Felix picked up my
hesitation and pounced on it. “So you have thought about it?”

“We all do at some point, of
course. But I’m pretty happy where I am now. Besides, it seems like these days
people wish they were gifted. I mean, don’t
you
want to be one of us?”