Gio (5th Street) (33 page)

Then they let Noah and Abel in. Both looked wretched and he knew something was very wrong. When they told him Jack hadn’t made it he’d gone mute. Not even his mom or sisters could get him to talk until he said the only thing to them he’d said at all: “Can I be alone?”

The only other thing he’d been sure to say after flipping through the channels on the television for nearly an hour was to Noah. “Whatever you do.
Do not
let Bianca in my room. I don’t even wanna see her.”

He knew it was stupid to continue to obsess over the reports on TV but even when Trinidad died it was the only thing that numbed him. Staring at the television put him almost in a trance. After a while he wasn’t even listening anymore just staring and watching the images.

Images of the charred remains of 5
^th
Street. Then images of Felix and Bianca laughing and hugging—getting in his car together—and now the latest of the two of them arriving at LAX hand in hand rushing past the paparazzi to his car.

He switched the channel again and froze. The most painful image he’d seen all night was on the screen. Jack’s smiling face with his birth date and today’s date across the bottom of the image. They’d just released the name and photo of the person who’d died in the fire and the agonizing reality really hit home. Jarring memories of his own father’s death assaulted him and his body shook violently.

Dropping the remote he brought his hands to his face and let the massive buildup of sorrow out, crying like he hadn’t cried since he was a kid—since his father’s death.

~*~

Even knowing her last conversation with Gio had ended the way it had and Toni warning her that the stories were damning, nothing could’ve prepared Bianca for the cold reception she received at the hospital. Nor did it prepare her for what Noah informed her almost as soon as she arrived.

All eyes were on them as they rushed into the waiting room. Noah quickly met them near the entrance.

After hugging Felix tightly and explaining what he knew about the gas leak, he turned to Bianca. Felix walked away to talk to Abel. Noah’s eyes were red and swollen from all the crying he’d obviously been doing. They also held a mixture of determination and sympathy.

“It’s not a good time right now. C’mere.” He placed a gentle hand on her arm and walked her further away from where everyone else was crowded in the small waiting room and lowered his voice. “He’s real upset about Jack. We all are. He just suffered a concussion and well that may cause him to be even more upset than the norm. He’s hardly spoken since he came to and we told him about Jack.” He turned around and glanced at where Felix stood with Abel. “This is isn’t the time or place for this. Gio is gonna need time. It’s none of my business what’s going on with you two, but whatever it is, I’m asking, as a favor to me and the rest of everyone who’s grieving, respect Gio’s wishes for now.”

“His wishes? What wishes?”

“He doesn’t want to see you right now.” Noah said firmly. “The last thing we need right now is any emotional outbursts or arguments. He’s real broken up right now about
everything
. This next week is gonna be real rough for everyone. Maybe you should just hold off until after all the services to try and talk to him.”

He doesn’t want to see you right now
.

The words stung like nothing Bianca had ever felt in her life. He actually believed it. All the bullshit they were saying on television. The stupid pictures. She didn’t care how damning they were. She could not believe he’d bought into it. Believed them without so much as giving her a chance to explain.

Barely able to see through the tears, Bianca’s breathing began to accelerate. She glanced back taking in the desolate crowd. Even Roni kept dabbing tears away. It took everything she had to hold it together because Noah was absolutely right. This was not the time or place for it.

“Can you tell me which direction the restrooms are?”

Clearly relieved that she didn’t push, he walked her out into the hallway and pointed. Bianca rushed away without another word. She barely made it into the restroom; glad that it was a single restroom because she burst out crying as soon as she closed the door behind her.

Waves of painfully anguished sobs came again and again. Everything she was forced to hold in when her grandmother and mother begged her to calm down. The entire trip down when she refused to add to Felix’s grief by letting out her own incredible fear that Gio could be seriously injured. Then the slap in the face that Gio didn’t want to see her. It all came out now as she curled up in the corner of the cold little room and cried until she thought she couldn’t cry anymore.

Glad that Noah hadn’t walked in ten minutes earlier and seen him break down like he had, Gio looked up at him. Noah had news for him and from the looks of it, like when he’d walked in there hours ago to tell him about Jack not making it, this wasn’t good.

“Felix and Bianca were here.” Gio turned away with a gulp, glad now that it was past tense, meaning they were gone or he might be tempted to tell Noah to forget his earlier request. Even with everything he’d heard on the stupid TV his heart yearned to see her now. “You told her I didn’t wanna see her?”

Gio almost didn’t want to ask but he figured he may as well get it over with now. “Did he say anything?” Noah didn’t answer immediately so Gio glared at him, his patience running real thin. Whatever it was Noah should just spit it out. “Did he?”

“I didn’t ask him anything but Abel did—asked him if he was seriously taking Bianca back after all the bullshit. Felix said this wasn’t the place to talk about it but he did add that we wouldn’t understand anyway.”

“Understand what?” There was no way he could hide the utter disgust he felt. Felt because he hadn’t seen this coming—because he’d been stupid enough to get caught up in a situation like this.

“He didn’t say. But he did say they were staying at the Royal Towers for the next few days before heading back up to Big Bear.” This was the final blow to his already devastated heart. “He also said he’d pay for Jack’s services. He wants to make sure Jack gets the services he deserved.”

Gio stared at Noah. Noah didn’t say it. He didn’t have to. This was his way of reminding Gio of what a loyal, selfless guy Felix had always been. That if it was true, that they were back together again, Gio should stay away this time.

Noah didn’t have to worry. The last thing Gio wanted now was to be anywhere near her. Be tortured by her eyes—her laugh. His heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Gio thought about that numb dark place he’d sunk into after killing Trinidad. How hard it had been to climb out of that place. It had ultimately been Bianca who had helped him leave it behind him and even when he began feeling like he might sink back in how easily she’d brought him out. He could feel it already. He was sinking fast. If this was true he had no idea how he’d ever make it out now. This was so much worse.

Looking away from Noah he stared at the muted television still running the story of the explosion. As hard as this was to take in he noted how his heart was still thinking in terms of
if
. That frail hope was still holding out that his worst nightmare hadn’t actually come true. Three words were keeping it alive.
She was upset
.

Why the hell would she be upset?
If
this was all true then she should’ve expected for Gio to not want to see her. But she hadn’t said anything. This confused the hell out of him. All he could do now was wait it out—and pray.

The light from the television illuminated the garage. On top of everything Gio had dealt with in the last week, he now had to deal with shame. Shame that he should be in mourning for Jack and all he could do was drown in despair over Bianca’s betrayal.

Through the services, through filing the insurance claims for the place he’d called his second home that was now destroyed, through it all, she’d been front row center squeezing the life out of his aching heart.

Deciding his heart had been in denial in the hospital Gio gave up hoping this was not happening. Instead he focused on the shame. As hard as it was, it was easier to deal with. Shame that because of him and the fact that 5
^th
Street was now in his name only, Felix hadn’t even mentioned his promise—a promise he’d made to Jack not Gio—that he’d help renovate the gym.

No one said it but they were all thinking it. The money he’d be getting from the insurance wouldn’t be enough to rebuild. The whole thing would have to be knocked down and built back up from the ground. There was no way they could afford to do that. At best, Gio might be able to rent another place out of the area and buy some equipment for it but it wouldn’t be the same.

5
^th
Street had practically been a landmark of East Los Angeles—the pride and joy of the local community. The only chance they’d have of rebuilding it now was if someone with Felix’s kind of money would help them. Gio had ruined that chance for
everyone
. And for what? He hadn’t even gotten the girl—the girl he’d thought worthy of risking it all.

Mercifully, Felix hadn’t brought her to any of the services but the reports of them being back together were still going strong and Gio would sooner die than ask Felix straight out about it. The night she’d flown out with him they were photographed going into their hotel together. Gio still obsessed about the smallest things. They hadn’t held hands as they walked into the hotel but they had at the airport when they arrived. She had to know, especially after how their phone call had ended that day, that he’d be watching now and still she’d held Felix’s hand in clear view of the photographers. There was no
if
anymore.

Gio had since replaced his phone with a new one but blocked her number. He wouldn’t even be able to stomach an apology from her. The worst part was he couldn’t say he blamed her. There was no way he’d ever come close to offering her everything Felix could, especially now. He didn’t even have a job.

“How dare you!”

Forgetting about his still injured neck Gio jerked his head at the sound of Bianca’s voice, regretting it instantly as the pain burned through his neck muscles. She charged toward him tears streaking down her cheeks. Gio stood up cautiously, his body still sore all over.

“How dare you shut me out just like that!” Gio had seen many sides of Bianca but this batshit crazy side was a new one. “Apparently, the words of the gossip reporters and tabloid shows mean more to you than anything I’ve ever said to you, right? Because you were so quick to believe the bullshit about me and Felix getting back together.”

“Bullshit? You’ve been hanging out with him! You stayed in the same hotel!”

She pushed him hard with both hands in the chest and he fell back into his beanbag. “We had separate rooms!” She was screaming now. “How can you believe them? How could you do this to me? Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through this week? Do you know what it was like to be told at the hospital that you didn’t want to see me? To know this whole time you’d believe that I would do something like this? Why? Why would you believe it? I told you I love
you
.”

The pent up anger and hurt he’d felt all week kicked in and he stood up suddenly making her take a step back. “Yeah, well, you said the same thing to him and then you cheated on him with me, remember?”

Her mouth fell open and she stared at him for a moment, her big stunned eyes searching his face for something. With her chest still heaving she shook her head blinking a couple of times. More tears leaked out of her eyes and down her cheeks before she turned around and walked away without saying another word.

Drawing a blank about what to do or say to her now, he watched her walk away. As much as his heart begged him to go after her, he knew there was nothing more to say. He stood there immobile as the minutes passed. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been standing there but it was long enough to rewind everything he’d been through with Bianca since the day he’d first gone up to Felix’s cabin.

Relentless hope flew out from the grave, suddenly pounding questions in his head. Why would she come down here just to lie to him? Why would she be so hysterical about it? He’d let his clobbered ego strangle those two questions down when she’d stood there before him and unleashed what the blinding anger would only let him believe. What he’d obsessed about all week—she’d had regrets.

The only thing that kept the whispering hope from increasing into a roar was Felix. Gio hadn’t been able to hold back from hearing Abel’s version of Felix’s answer to his inquiry at the hospital. Gio had expected nothing less from Abel. He’d been far less careful about hurting Gio’s feeling; telling him straight out, it sure as shit appeared that they were back together and to him Felix had confirmed it.