Girl in Love (3 page)

“I
CHANGED
my mind.”

Mia smiled as Kylie made her way to her seat between her and Donovan Taite, their friend Lily’s dad.

“About going out?”

Kylie nodded.

“Sweet. I’ll text the guys to meet us after their show. It’ll be fun. You’ll see.”

She gave Mia a taut smile. “Can’t wait.”

The truth was, she’d rather do anything else. Write, record, sleep. Take up knitting. Have dental work done. But fate was cruel and downright spiteful.

Tonight had been the biggest performance of her life and the man she’d forced out of her memory had been in the front damn row.

And he wasn’t alone.

“A
RE YOU
wearing that out tonight?” Mia eyed Kylie’s tattered jean skirt and her Hank Williams Junior T-shirt.

“Hell yeah I am. Why?”

Mia frowned. “I mean, I know you haven’t been out in a while but the club we’re going to is kind of—”

“I don’t have anyone to impress.”

“Yeah, well, no danger of that.” Mia rolled her eyes and linked arms with Kylie as they left her apartment.

The club was crowded and noisy. From the moment they passed through the roped-off VIP entrance, the music grated against her in a way that made her want to cringe. There was a time when she would’ve loved it. Would’ve barely been able to keep still as the bass pounded into her.

Not tonight.

Mia dragged her over to where Steven Blythe and his friend and lead singer of his band sat.

Chris Something. Do I even know his last name?
Whatever. Kylie couldn’t remember for sure. Not that it mattered.

“Heard you sang the hell out of that song we wrote together tonight,” Steven said, winking at her.

“Well if you heard that, it must be true.”

Kylie looked past him to where a waitress was delivering drinks at the table behind them. When the woman looked over, Kylie waved a hand. “Can I get an Amaretto Sour please? A couple of them?”

She could tell by the waitress’s expression she was thinking about carding her. Twenty was close enough to drinking age. Kylie fished her black credit card out of her wallet and held it up. “I’d like to start a tab please.”

The woman took it and nodded. Mia and Steven ordered beers and Chris ordered a soda. Plain ol’ soda.

Two drinks in, Kylie started to realize what was really going on. This wasn’t a night out for fun. This was a setup.

“So
Chris
here is really into animal rights. He organized a protest last year at the university and was able to get them to stop testing non-life-saving products on lab animals.” Mia beamed at Kylie as if she’d just said that the dude had invented world peace.

“Cool.”
Probably not the time to mention that my daddy used to take me hunting.
Kylie downed her drink. Her stomach twinged a little from the sweetness.

This wasn’t a mixed drink kind of night. Not after seeing
him.
When the waitress passed by again, she lifted her hand. The woman raised her head in Kylie’s direction. “Can I get two fingers of bourbon please? Heaven Hill if you have it.”

In honor of the man who shattered my heart into a million pieces.

“Kylie,” Mia hissed across the table. “What the hell are you doing?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Getting trashed. Isn’t that the point of going out? Blowing off steam and all that?”

“Ryans, can I talk to you outside?” Steven asked, leaning toward her.

“After I finish my drink.” The waitress returned and sat the squat glass of amber- colored liquid in front of her.

Here’s to you, Trace.
She reached for the glass but it wasn’t where she’d expected it to be.

She looked up just in time to see Steven chug it back in one swallow. “What the—”

“There. Now you’re finished. Let’s go.” He didn’t pay any attention to her protests as he wrapped a hand around her elbow and pulled her from the bar.

Once they were outside, she jerked out of his grasp. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you ever grab me like that—”

“I’m sorry I grabbed you. But I guess we’re even. ’Cause I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you either. No, I take it back. I bet I do know.” He folded his arms and leaned back against the brick building behind him. “I guess you heard he’s back in town.”

She wanted to roll her eyes. Deny it. Lie and say that she couldn’t care less. But she’d been consumed with feeling nothing for nearly a year. She was tired of keeping up the façade.

She’d sat through her signing party at Capital Letter Records like a zombie. She couldn’t even remember a single thing that was said at her birthday dinner a few months ago.

Only what had happened after.

He’d shown up at her apartment. With flowers. Mr. I-Don’t-Do-Flowers. He’d seen Steven and bolted. Right back to rehab according to the local rumor mill. Seeing him tonight had jolted her back to reality. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was karma repaying her for hurting him. For causing him to fall off the wagon and run back to Dallas. To
her.

“I saw him,” she said quietly. “He was there tonight. In the front row. Him and her both.”

Do not cry, dammit.

She looked up at the dark sky. She couldn’t see the stars or the moon. She was glad. A clear night sky unaffected by city lights would’ve reminded her of a farm in Georgia she couldn’t bear to think about.

“Shit. Hey, I’m sorry.” Steven reached out and wrapped his arms around her. Tears came without her permission.

And I’d been doing so well.

She stepped back, knowing she’d probably see a cell phone quality shot of this moment in a gossip magazine any day now.

“I’m fine. It’s fine.” She shook her head and wiped her eyes. “I’m being stupid.”

“Naw. You’re being human.” Steven nudged her with his shoulder. “Good thing, too. We were starting to wonder.” He winked at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Guess I made a hell of an impression on my date, huh?”

“You caught that, did you?” He shrugged and put his hands up. “Mia’s idea, not mine. Swear.”

She gave him a small smile. “I figured.”

Steven huffed out a breath and she caught the familiar scent of bourbon in the air. She licked her lips and took a step closer—feeling like a junkie who’d just gotten a hit of her favorite brand. She wanted it. Wanted it to hurt and burn and remind her of everything she’d tried so hard to forget.

“Take me home.”

Deep blue eyes widened as she came closer. Who knew five-feet two inches of blonde mess could make a six-foot tall tattooed guy look so panicked? Steven’s eyes narrowed as he watched her move in for the kill.

“Oh-kay. You mean take you home as in
walk
you home, right?”

“Are you sleeping with Mia?” Kylie asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Jesus, Ryans. Guess subtly’s not your thing, huh?”

“Yes or no?”

Steven shook his head. It was the answer she wanted. For tonight, he could help her remember. Maybe he could help her forget, too. One day. Except…something had flashed in his eyes when she’d said Mia’s name.

“You’re not.” She blew out a breath. “But you want to be, don’t you?” It was probably for the best.

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes raked over her. Not in an I-want-to-tear-the-clothes-from-your-body kind of way like someone else’s used to. More in the I-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-you’re-doing kind of way.

Well, that made two of them.

She liked Steven. Enjoyed writing music with him. Hanging out with him wasn’t turning out to be so bad either.

They’d crossed a few lines once, months ago after a late night writing session and too many drinks. But it hadn’t been like…like it was with Trace. Damn. Even
thinking
his name still stung.

“I don’t know yet. We’re getting to know each other. Seeing how it goes. Neither of us is really looking for anything serious, you know?”

Kylie turned her face away from his. “Of course not. Don’t want to end up like me, right?”

“Hey.” She flinched and half-stumbled when Steven reached for her. He steadied her and placed his finger under her chin so she’d have to look up. Her gaze met clear blue eyes when what she wanted to see was stormy hazel ones. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You hear me? Nothing whatsoever.”

“Yes there is,” she whispered.

I gave my heart away and he didn’t want it. Now I can’t find it anywhere.

Steven shook his head and leaned in close. Close enough to kiss her. Their surroundings faded, but it still wasn’t the heart-hammering rush she’d once experienced. The one she still craved with every fiber of her being.

“That first night we met, when I saw you breaking into the VIP room at The Texas Player’s Club, I had every intention of taking you home. For about five seconds. When I saw the way you looked at him, the way he looked at you...” He stopped and shook his head. “Every person in that room felt that connection, Ryans. I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”

The bourbon on his breath combined with the power of his words was conjuring a memory she couldn’t handle. Causing parts of her to tingle, confusing the hell out of her.

Her eyes began to sting. She clutched Steven’s hips and shook her head. “He doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t know that he ever really did.”

“He did. He just…I don’t know. I wish I knew how to make it better for you, but I don’t. But he knew he needed help and he went and got it. Can’t fault a man for that.”

“So how do I move on? How do I get help for what I need?” She knew it wasn’t fair to demand answers from Steven. But he’d known Trace longer than she had. Surely he knew something.

He stared at her long and hard. She didn’t miss it when his gaze dropped to her mouth. “Tell me something. If I take you back to my place tonight, if we do things to each other that you’ve never even said out loud, who will you be thinking of in the morning? Me? Or him?”

Breathing was suddenly a feat more challenging than she was capable of. She swallowed hard and stared up at him. She could change everything. Right now. This was one of those moments where the whole story that was her life could go in a direction she’d never expected.

She could say, “You. I’d be thinking of you.” She could wake up tomorrow and Trace Corbin wouldn’t be the last person—the
only person—
she’d ever slept with. But then she’d be lying. To Steven and to herself.

She’d felt nothing for nine long months. Until he appeared on her doorstep, bringing everything back and taking it all away in a matter of seconds. Afterwards, she’d blamed herself for his return to rehab—convinced herself that they really weren’t good for one another, as Trace had once tried so hard to explain. She’d thought she’d finally moved on for good.

Then he’d shown up tonight and she’d felt a pain more intense than she thought possible without someone having died.

Steven gripped her wrists and gently nudged her out of his personal space. “Time’s up, Ryans.” Kissing her softly on the cheek, he sighed in her ear. “I know it’s hard. But you’re gonna be okay. Just give yourself some time.”

“Wait.” She reached for his hand, slipping hers into it. “Will you just come over and hang out tonight? As a friend?” It was the contact—his soft, warm lips on her face— that made her ache for more. For a connection to someone. Anyone.

Steven glanced around. “Just me and you?”

She nodded. She couldn’t handle much more of Mia’s critical evaluations of her clothing, her song choices, or her behavior.

Steven looked her straight in the eyes. “You know what people will say. And honestly, I know myself well enough not to trust me. I can’t promise to care if you’re over him or not if you come at me like that again.”

Kylie grinned. At least he was honest. “I’ll behave. Promise. I just…don’t want to sit home alone and rehash the past all night. Maybe we could get some writing in. Please?” She bit her lip and waited for him to respond.

She watched his jaw clench as he contemplated her suggestion. “I’ll come hang out. For a little while. On two conditions.”

Relief flooded her entire body. The thought of sitting in that empty apartment had been weighing on her even more heavily than she’d realized. She knew she’d give in and spend all night on the Internet, trying to find out everything she could about Trace and Gretchen. Torturing herself if she went home alone.

“Name ’em.”

“First, we tell Mia. Explain that we’re just hanging out as friends. Or we invite her. Whichever.”

Kylie frowned. “I know she means well, but I need a break from ‘suck it up and get back in the game’ boot camp courtesy of Drill Sergeant Montgomery.”

Steven nodded. “Okay then. I’ll tell her I’m stopping by your place after this. Condition number two. Ryans, so help me, if you so much as glance in my direction with that come-fuck-me look one more time, you better be ready to follow through.”

The intensity of his words came through loud and clear. She took a step back.

“Got it. No come-fuck-me looks.”

Steven laughed. It was dark laughter that warmed her in places only one other man had ever been able to affect in that way.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t give them. I’m just giving you fair warning. I took the nice guy high road once. I probably won’t take it again.”

“Duly noted.”

She felt much lighter when they went back into the club. Writing with Steven was cathartic and she was looking forward to it. But she had a nagging feeling she was going to have to invite Mia whether she liked it or not. Even though she was driving Kylie a little crazy lately, she knew Mia was trying to be helpful in her own way.

Mia had told her a million times that she wasn’t looking for a relationship and that nothing was going on between her and Steven, but she knew it wasn’t worth risking it. If Mia had even an inkling of a feeling for him, then hanging out with him alone was a bad move. A dangerous and probably stupid one.

She was just about to tell Steven that all four of them could go back to her place and just hang out when he stopped so abruptly she ran smack into the back of him.