Girl in the White Dress: Sam's Story (16 page)

             
Finally, Tim spoke up. “No, what you saw was me trying to comfort her. She was upset about you.”

             
“That may be true, Tim, but it made me think back. And there are so many times that should have clued me in.” He turned to me. “And your hesitation to my proposal… I thought it was because I was leaving and you were scared, but that wasn’t it was it?” He put his hand up to stop my response. “And Tim, your reaction to our engagement… priceless. You couldn’t have looked less excited.”

             
Neither of us said a word. What could we say? He was right. “Danny…” I started to say.

             
“No, I saw for myself how you two look at each other. I know you care about each other at the very least. And I can’t marry someone who doesn’t love me.”

             
“But I do love you!” I exclaimed. I did love him but… We were caught.

             
“Maybe, but I don’t think you’re in love with my anymore and that’s not fair to either of us. I deserve more than that.” He looked so hurt.

             
“I’m sorry, Danny.” It was pathetic, but I was.

             
He looked at both of us. “Can you just tell me one thing?”

             
“Anything,” he deserved that much at least, right?

             
“Did anything happen between you two? Did you sleep together?”

             
Without hesitation, Tim and I both said no. It was at that moment that I knew I would love Tim forever, but that I also needed to get away. I knew we both did not want to hurt Danny anymore and him knowing we had made love would not make anything better.

Since my classes were on line this semester, I decided I was going home. I missed my family and I needed them now. My mom knew about Tim and Danny and I needed her. My heart was breaking and I did not know how to fix it. Trinity was upset I was leaving but she understood. Tim said his parents were confused (Danny had not told them the whole story) and Tim understood. He said he loved me and he knew right now was not our time. Danny was hurt and angry but Tim was his brother and they would work it out, just not with me in the picture. Tim and I decided it would be best not to talk for a little while, until everything was ok with him and Danny. I secretly hoped it would be resolved quickly because I already missed him.

When I got home, my mom
ran over to me as if she had not seen me in years. Technically, she had not seen me much in the last few years since I only came home for holidays.

“Sam, I’ve missed you so much!”

“Me, too, mom. Me, too.” I definitely needed my mom right now. She gave me a big hug and I started crying right there in the driveway.

“Oh, sweetie, come on.
I will put on some coffee and we can talk. Your dad said he would be by tonight after work.” I hoped that I could pull myself together by then.

My mom was great and it really made me realize how much I missed having her around while I was at school. My dad showed up at the house around six and I noticed
that he made himself at home like he used to. Hmm…

“Um, is there something you two maybe want to share?” I asked.

They shared a glance. “Well, your dad and I are sort of dating… each other.”

What the hell?
“I’m sorry; I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“Sweetie, your mom and I are trying to figure this out and we didn’t want to tell you until we did.”

“Ok, well, when you come in the house and make yourself at home, it’s kind of obvious something is up,” I said. “Since you haven’t really been allowed in the house in a couple of years.” My mom did not want anything to do with him or so I thought. Not that my dad was a bad person, they had just grown apart, I suppose.

“Are you mad?” she asked.

I laughed. “Not mad, just very confused.”

“Ok, well confuse
d we can work with.” My dad then explained that he and mom had volunteered for the same project at the youth center and ended up reconnecting in a way they had long forgotten. My dad fell in love with my mom all over again and he was still trying to convince my mom she felt the same way, but I could tell by the look on her face that she did. She had never looked at my dad that way before; at least I did not remember her doing it anyway. I guess it was kind of sweet. Weird, but sweet.

I enrolled at Temple University for the spring sem
ester. I was accepted there initially but I did not want to be that close to home at the time. Who knew I would end up back there? I also got a job at the video store to get some cash. I tried to get a student teaching job at my old elementary school but unfortunately, the principle said it was too late and the classes were taken. Just my luck.             

I was on my way to work and stopped for coffee and
a muffin. Predictable, I know. I was staring at the menu when I heard a familiar voice. “Yeah, dude, I just moved back. Cali was great. Missed home though. Yeah, give me a call, we’ll hang out.” I turned around and could not believe it. Jason was back and he looked awesome.  He apparently saw me staring and came on over.

             
“Hi, Sam,” he actually looked a little nervous.

              “Hey, Jason, you look great.”  I could not believe it. He was all tan and muscular. He was definitely not the same scrawny jock from high school.

              “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.” I blushed.

              “So, what are you doing back in town?”

              “Actually, I’m moving back. I’m staying with my parents until I can find a place of my own.”

              “That’s cool.” Get a grip, Sam. Stop staring.

              “What about you? What have you been up to?”

              “Me? Not much. Just working.” I glanced at my watch. “Crap, I have to run. I’m going to be late for work.”

              “Can I call you?”

              I thought about it for a second. Why not? “Sure, here’s my number.” I wrote it down on the napkin and gave it to him.

              “It was nice seeing you, Sam.”

              “You, too, Jay.” I grabbed my breakfast and headed out to work. He probably would not call. I did not really want him to call. Who was I kidding? I would always have some feelings for that boy. He was my first love. That was not something that just went away, no matter how much of an ass he was. Ugh. I was not interested in him romantically though. I just needed space. Between Matt, Danny, and Tim… my heart had taken all the pain it could in the past couple of years.

              By the time I got to work, I was annoyed with myself for actually caring if Jay called me or not. I stood by my thirteen-year-old cousin’s opinion; boys were stupid. I still could not believe he was back from California. I could not wait to call Rachel. And yes, I am aware we have not seen much of each other the past couple of years, but she would always be my BFF and Trinity was not around for the Jason era. Rachel would never believe he was back. Actually, she would. Out of everyone, she was the one who said he would not make it out there. He and I did have that online conversation that he wanted to come home, but that was so long ago, he obviously made it a few more years alone out there. Besides, he was a handsome guy; he must have had girls all over him. Whatever, Sam, I needed to focus on work. These people needed their videos and who was I to deny them?

              Well, work passed quickly and I noticed when I got to my car that I had a text message. Argh, everyone knew I hated texts. I had yet to add an unlimited text message to my phone and I hated paying ten cents a text. I flicked my phone open to see who I was going to yell at and it was Jay. Wow, that was fast.

             
Sam, it was so good to run into you today. I still think about you and I hate how we left things. Please call me back so we can get together. I still miss you. Jay

             
Um, ok. Really? He hated how we left things? He was the douche that left me here to go to California and get away from here. Plus, it was forever ago. I was so over it. Oh my god, boys were stupid!

I called Rachel. “So I ran into Jay this morning and for some reason, gave him my number. He texted me while I was at work and told me he missed me and wanted to get together to talk.”

“Seriously?” she asked. “T
hat boy has some issues.” She had never really been a Jay fan. He used to pick on her in high school.

“I’m sure he jus
t wanted to catch up.” I did not think she needed to know the sight of him still made my heart flutter. He was already adorable in high school and California had definitely agreed with him. He would make a good Danny/Tim distraction. Maybe put a smile back on my pitiful face. (I would like to state for the record, I was physically attracted to him, not emotionally.)

“Just be careful,” she warned. Then she went on to discuss her shopping spree at the new boutique in downtown Philly. She always was a shopaholic. Glad some things
did not change.

I debated
on calling Jay or not. We had not really spoken since that awkward online conversation like three years ago. It could not hurt to see how he had been. Maybe hear some stories about his wild frat parties? Ugh, I was so irritated with myself. I came home to clear my head and focus on school and here Jay comes along and clouds my head all over again. I had been doing well so far. I had a job. I was so close to finishing my degree. I did not need this. It must be a rebound thing clouding my head.

So anyway, despite my better judgment, I called Jay and we made plans to get together for drinks the following night. It was nice and we caught up. He
did not try anything with me and part of me was disappointed while the other part was relieved. I kept telling myself I did not need the complication. He had apparently graduated a semester early because he took a bunch of summer and intersession classes. He came back home because he missed his family and had gotten a job at the local bank. I could not picture him in a suit and tie every day but ok.

When I got home, I saw I had a missed call from Trinity. “Sam, you need to come back home!” were the first words out
of her mouth when I called her back.

             
“Ok, well first, technically, I am home. And second, why?”

             
“Derek and I are engaged!” she shrieked.

             
I nearly dropped the phone. “Shut up! Really?!”

             
“Would I lie?”

             
“Oh my God, when? How? Need pictures of the ring!” Who needed complete sentences?

             
She laughed. “Last night, dinner at Fifty-Third Street Café and in my champagne. Who knew he was cheesy like that?”

             
“I’m so happy for you, sweetie!”

             
“Does that mean you will be my maid of honor?”

             
“Aww, absolutely! When’s the big day?”

             
“September 17.”

             
“This year?”

             
“Yes.”

             
“Ok, so we have about,” I did a mental calculation. “Eight months to plan a fabulous wedding?”

             
“Pretty much. That’s why you need to come home!”

             
This was a no win argument. “I am home but I will without a doubt come down for wedding planning weekends.”

             
“Ugh, fine.  I have to go. Derek needs to call a couple people.” She paused. “But, Sam?”

             
This could not be good. “Yeah?”

             
“He’s asking Matt to be his best man.”

             
Son of a bitch. “Why the hell would he do that? Does Derek hate me?”

             
She laughed. I was glad she found my suffering amusing. “No, he doesn’t hate you but Matt moved back to Worcester a couple months ago and they had never lost contact so….”

             
“Wait a minute. Matt moved back and you never told me?”

             
“I’m telling you now.”

             
“Really not the point.”

             
“Sam, I did not see the point in bringing up old wounds. I just wanted to warn you because you might see him a lot with this whole wedding business.”

             
“Ugh, fine. Just tell Derek to watch his back,” I said jokingly. Maybe.