Girl Online (36 page)

As soon as I walk into my form room, everyone stops talking and stares at me. But that’s OK. It’s like the walk through the school was a warm-up for this moment. And at least I won’t have to face Megan and Ollie until drama, as they’re in different form groups. I go to the table next to Kira and Amara. They’re both looking at me like I’ve grown another head.

“Hi,” I say as calmly and confidently as I can.

“Oh, hi,” Amara says. “How are you?” She looks genuinely concerned.

“OK.” I pull my chair back and sit down.

“Are you sure?” Kira says, leaning across to me.

I nod and bite down on my lip. Their obvious concern is giving me the urge to cry.

I become aware of everyone else looking at us and my face starts to burn.

Kira pulls her chair even closer to me. “Is it true? Did you . . . ?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“It’s not?” Amara whispers. She and Kira exchange glances.

“No. Someone told a load of lies to that website.”

“So you’re not Girl Online?” Amara says.

“Yes, I am. I was. But the rest of it isn’t true. Not the way they’re saying.”

“I can’t believe you’re Girl Online. I love Girl Online,” Kira says, smiling. “I found it when I was doing a Google search for Snooper’s Paradise. That post you did about potholes was hilarious!”

“I love it too,” Amara says, nodding enthusiastically.

“Really?” I feel a prickle of hope. They’re being so nice. They don’t seem to be judging me at all.

The twins move their chairs so they’re right up to my table.

“So, was Brooklyn Boy someone else then?” Kira asks.

I take a deep breath. “No. He was—is—Noah Flynn but”—I fight down a wave of embarrassment—“I didn’t know who he was. He didn’t tell me he was a musician and I’d never heard of him before anyway.”

“I hadn’t either,” Amara says.

Kira shakes her head and sighs. “So he lied to you?”

I nod. I wonder how long it will take before I can acknowledge this fact without feeling sick to my stomach.

Amara places her hand over mine on the table. “That’s so horrible.”

I swallow hard. I mustn’t cry now. Not with everyone looking.

“We couldn’t believe it when we found out,” Kira says. “I told Megan there was no way you would have done something like that. I didn’t even believe that you were Girl Online. But then it went all over the Internet and—”

“All right, you horrible lot, holiday’s over. Let’s have some
order, please.” We all turn to see our teacher, Mr. Morgan, standing in the doorway.

The twins take their chairs back to their table and fumble in their bags for their planners. But I sit there motionless, with Kira’s words on repeat in my mind. “
I told Megan there was no way you would have done something like that. I didn’t even believe that you were Girl Online. But then it went all over the Internet . . . But then it went all over the Internet . . .
”

I barely register a single thing during form period. All I can think is, how did Megan know about my blog before the news broke online? Ollie could have told her I’d met Noah but he didn’t know anything about my blog. For a second, I have the crazy notion that Elliot must have told her, but that is truly insane. But if Megan somehow knew about the blog and Noah before it got out online, could she be the one who leaked it? Form period goes torturously slowly but as soon as the bell finally rings, I’m over at the twins’ table like a shot.

“When did Megan tell you about the blog?”

“On Tuesday night,” Kira says, putting her things back in her bag. “We were at Costa and she showed us it on her phone. She didn’t realize we were already subscribers!”

“I hope you’re going to carry on blogging,” Amara says. “You know, once all the fuss has died down. I love the things you write about.”

I give her a weak smile. “And what did she say about—about Noah?”

“She said that he’d cheated on Leah Brown with you.”

“I had a right go at her when she said that,” Kira says, giving me a shy smile. “I told her there was no way you’d do something like that. Not intentionally, anyway.”

I smile back at her. “Thank you.”

“To be honest, I’m not really sure I like Megan all that much anymore,” Kira says. “I couldn’t believe she posted that video of you on Facebook after the play.”

I feel the sudden urge to hug Kira but I’m way too scared it will make me cry.

“Come on, ladies. Haven’t you got lessons to go to?” Mr. Morgan calls to us from the front of the class.

“See you at lunchtime?” Amara says.

I nod.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you,” Kira says.

“Yeah. You’re Girl Online,” Amara adds. “We’re your biggest fans.”

• • •

The glow from my conversation with the twins lasts as long as it takes me to get to the drama department—about two minutes. As I walk down the corridor toward my class, the thought of seeing Megan and Ollie has my stomach tied in knots. I’m late getting there and everyone has gone in, but there’s no sign of either of them.

“Pen!” Call-Me-Jeff exclaims as soon as I walk in. “How are you?”

I can tell immediately that he knows and I feel twenty-something pairs of eyes boring into me. I picture my room in the Waldorf. I remind myself that this is my life, not theirs, and I know the truth.

“I’m fine,” I reply, and as I go to sit down I feel as if I almost mean it.

By lunchtime I’m feeling even more relieved. Megan and Ollie are both off sick and all the people I thought would give
me the most grief about what’s happened are actually showing me a grudging respect. Maybe it’s that they don’t quite know how to handle it, or maybe Leah Brown just doesn’t have too many fans here. Either way, Kira and Amara are lovely and everyone else leaves me alone. Before I go back for afternoon lessons, I pop out to see Tom. He’s fallen asleep over the steering wheel. I knock on the window to wake him up.

“What’s happened?” he says, instantly looking panicked.

“It’s OK—you can go home,” I tell him.

He rubs his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, everyone’s being fine. Seriously. Go home. Get some proper sleep—in a bed.”

Tom frowns. “OK, well, I’m going to leave my phone on so if you need me just call and I’ll be straight back down here.”

I smile. “Will do.”

I watch Tom drive off and I’m about to go back into school when I feel my phone vibrate in my blazer pocket. I take it out and see that I’ve got a text from Elliot. My heart starts to pound as I open it.

Please don’t hate me. My dad confiscated my laptop and phone and I only just got them back. We were in the middle of a massive argument when you called and I couldn’t face seeing you. PS: I’ve run away

I study the text for clues as to whether Elliot leaked the story about me. When I don’t find any, I send a reply getting straight to the point.

Did you tell that website about me and Noah—and about the blog?

What website? No, but I feel terrible about the comment I posted on your blog. It’s been so horrible at home, I wasn’t thinking straight. PS: I’VE RUN AWAY, AS IN RUN AWAY FROM HOME!!

Elliot didn’t do it. He didn’t leak the story. I feel overcome with relief that he didn’t, and guilt that I ever thought he could.

What do you mean you’ve run away? Where are you?

On the pier

You’ve run away to the pier?!!

No!!! I’ve run away and I happen to currently be at the pier. I need to see you xxx

I start walking down the road away from school, texting as I go.

I need to see you too! xxx

Can you come and meet me? Please? I’ll even play that stupid 2p game . . .

On my way

Chapter Forty-Two

As soon as I see Elliot leaning against the 2p game in the arcades, I know there’s something seriously wrong. He’s wearing an enormous burgundy Puffa jacket, a huge pair of green wellies, and a Russian-style fake fur hat, and for once he has not managed to make a weird combo look cool.

“What’s happened?” we both say at exactly the same time.

“Jinx!” we both say at exactly the same time. We look at each other for a second before we burst out laughing. Then Elliot hugs me as the laughter quickly turns to tears.

“I can’t breathe,” I splutter, trying to remove my face from the humongous Puffa jacket.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Elliot takes a step back. “Oh, Pen, I’m so sorry.”

“What for?” I say, a last trace of suspicion flickering in my mind.

“For that stupid comment I made on your new year’s resolution post. I’ve been such an idiot, but so much has been going on at home I need to explain.”

I look at him. “Have you really run away?”

Elliot nods gravely. “ ’Fraid so. As of tonight, I am a man on the street, a man of no fixed abode, one of our nation’s lost souls.”

“But it’s the middle of winter. You’re going to freeze.”

“Why do you think I’m wearing this getup?” Elliot gestures at his bizarre outfit. “I’m not dressing like a chavvy Russian fisherman for fun, you know. I’m trying to avoid hypothermia!”

“But why are you running away?”

“My dad’s said he’ll disown me if I ever get a boyfriend.” Elliot turns and stares into the 2p machine. The flashing lights cast patterns on his face.

“What?” I stare at him, horrified.

Elliot looks back at me. His eyes are glistening with tears. “He said that there’s no way I can keep on living under his roof if I ever became”—Elliot mimes a pair of speech-marks—“ ‘a practicing homosexual.’ And then yesterday morning the whole thing escalated and he took away my laptop and phone.”

“What? But why?”

“Because he’d gotten it into his head that I’d met someone while I was in America and he didn’t want me contacting them.”

“But why did he think that?”

“Remember my campaign to ruin my parents’ Christmas?”

I nod. “Hank the Hell’s Angel?”

“Yep. You could say it backfired slightly.”

“Oh no.”

“I said to my dad, ‘You can’t take away a teenager’s online access; it’s like taking away their right to breathe.’ ”

“What did he say to that?”

“He’s a lawyer. He just quoted a load of laws at me until I lost the will to live. I think that’s when you turned up at the door.” He frowns at me. “Why didn’t you knock on the wall? And why did you send me such a stroppy text? Was it the comment on the blog? It was, wasn’t it? I’m so sorry. I’ve been so jealous and it’s been horrible.”

I stare at him. “What do you mean? Jealous of what?”

“Of Noah. And of you.” Elliot looks away, embarrassed.

“Why are you jealous of me?”

“Because it’s so easy for you. You meet someone you like and your parents are fine with it. They’re like, ‘Hey, let’s go and spend Christmas with him!’ You can fall in love and live happily ever after just like Cinderella. But if I ever meet my Prince Charming I’m going to be disowned.”

“Oh, Elliot.” I hug him to me, my eyes filling with tears. The whole time we were away it never occurred to me that Elliot might be feeling like this, and how difficult it must be for him.

“And I hate myself for taking it out on you,” Elliot sobs into my shoulder. “You’re my best friend. My only true friend, and I wasn’t able to just be happy for you. But I was so scared, Pen. I’m so scared of losing you to him.”

I can’t help a sarcastic laugh when he says this.

Elliot frowns at me. “What?”

“There’s no danger of that happening.”

“Why not?” Elliot wipes the tears from his eyes and studies my face.

I sigh. “I take it you haven’t seen what’s happened?”

“Seen what?”

“Online?”

“No. I told you, I only just got my stuff back. I broke into Dad’s study while he was at work and stole them back.”

“It turns out that Noah is a musician.”

Elliot looks at me blankly.

“A famous musician. Well, famous in America anyway and—” I break off, barely able to bring myself to say it. “And he’s in a relationship with Leah Brown.”