Give in to Me (2 page)

Tristan may have felt some bond with Daryl, but to me he was merely the bearer of bad tidings. Just once I wished he would show up with a smile on his hairy face and tell me that all this was over and Tristan was coming home.

Daryl took out his small notebook from his jacket and began to flip through the pages searching for some detail he believed I needed to know. I craned my neck in an effort to see what he’d written, but I couldn’t read his handwriting upside down. He licked the pad of his thumb and flipped up one last page before he scanned what he’d written and nodded.

Raising his gaze to look at me, he said in a serious voice, “I knew I had one more thing to talk to you about. You’re going to have to hire a gardener or caretaker for the grounds now that the weather is getting better.”

“This is what you searched for in your little notebook? A gardener? I can’t just have West or Varo do it?” Actually, since West was always so abrupt with me, I liked the idea of him stuck on a riding mower for hours a few times a month, but something told me that Jordan would be all about seeing Varo shirtless and weed whacking. She’d tried in vain to get his attention for weeks since she realized the gorgeous man she’d seen at the bar that night months ago lived just yards away from her.

Furrowing his brow, Daryl groaned. “No. They guard you. They don’t prune hedges.”

Daryl was no fun at all. “Fine. Then I’ll get a gardener.”

Finished with our meeting, he stood and looked down at me to ask the question he always asked right before he left. “Is there anything you need?”

I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, letting my shoulders sag. Looking up at him, I said, “Please tell me if you’ve talked to him. Please.”

His face was expressionless but finally he nodded. “I have. He asked about you, and I told him you were holding up.”

“Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

A shadow crossed Daryl’s face, and I knew his next words would be a lie. “He’s fine.”

Just the way his voice dropped when he said the word “fine” told me Tristan was anything but that. Fear raced through me at the thought of what condition he was actually in. My heart pounding against my chest, I asked, “Is he hurt? Tell me, please.”

“Don’t worry. If he’s hurting, it’s only because he isn’t here with you.”

Daryl moved to walk away, and I grabbed his arm to stop him. “Would you tell him something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Tell him I’ll be waiting right here.”

I let go of Daryl’s arm and he walked away without saying another word. I sat there for a long time thinking about the night Tristan and I had spent together after getting to know each other right there on that couch. God, that seemed like so long ago, even though it wasn’t even a year that had passed. So much had changed between then and now.

“Nina, are you ready to go?” Jordan asked as she peeked her head into my room.

I swiped the lip gloss across my bottom lip and threw the case in my bag. One last check of my makeup and I was ready. “Pizza Heaven, here we come!”

Jensen was waiting for us, along with my two giant shadows who were never far behind. The five of us stood in the driveway in front of the garage, an awkward silence hanging around us as we eyed one another with curiosity like usual. Even though I lived with these people, for all intents and purposes, they were barely more than strangers to me, people I knew more by the way they dressed than their personalities. Jensen stood stiffly in his usual dark suit, while West and Varo looked more comfortable in jeans and button down shirts, as they always did. Leaning in next to me, Jordan whispered, “Tony’s might be pizza heaven, but I think Varo would be the kind of heaven I want.”

I looked at West and Varo, then turned to Jensen. “We’re going for pizza. Do you guys want to join us? You’re more than welcome.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jordan’s eyes grow wide. Maybe I should have told her about my new idea of being nice to my constant companions. It wasn’t their fault that Tristan wasn’t back yet, so it wasn’t right that I took out my unhappiness on them. My change of heart, however, seemed to surprise them as much as it did Jordan, and while Jensen politely begged off, I thought I saw West’s eyes light up at the mention of pizza. Varo, as always, stood silently with a smoldering glare that I was convinced was the way his eyes naturally looked.

When neither of them spoke, I shrugged and asked, “Any takers? You guys have to eat, don’t you?”

“And we’re a pretty good time,” Jordan chimed in. “It would be nice to see you guys loosen up for once.”

West appeared to rethink his earlier excitement at hearing we were having pizza and said in a low voice, “We’re fine. We’ll be nearby if you need us.”

“Okay. If you change your mind, you know where we are.”

Everyone looked around at each other at my statement of the obvious. Jordan chuckled nervously next to me, thankfully breaking the tension for a moment, and we all left for Tony’s Pizza Heaven like some sad entourage.

I was glad to see that the waitress who’d been working the night Tristan asked me to marry him wasn’t there. I wasn’t up for answering questions about him tonight. A short, older woman took our order, and as I sat silently remembering how much this tiny, out-of-the-way restaurant meant to me, Jordan told me about her boss’s mini-lecture she gave her for being three minutes late that morning.

Sheepishly, I apologized. “I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I had a pretty rotten day.”

“Yes. Yes, that makes me feel much better.” She rolled her eyes. “Now that I know you think I’m some kind of harpy, why don’t you tell me why your day sucked?”

“Same old, same old. I’d rather hear about your class.”

“And I’d rather talk about you wearing your engagement ring again. I’m happy to see that, but I’m wondering why now? Was there some news from Grizzly Adams today?”

Jordan’s snarkiness always brought out a smile in me. Looking down at the diamond ring on my left hand, I shook my head. “No, no news. I just thought it was right.”

She raised her hand to cover her eyes. “It’s giving off a glare that’s blinding. That man of yours sure does know how to give a gift.”

I spread my fingers and moved my hand back and forth. “He does.”

“I don’t think my eyes can take what he’ll be getting you after his little absence.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Funny. Just drink your flat soda.”

“I want you to know that I’m going to miss us sharing a place again, Nina. It was like old times, except in a place ten times the size. With a pool. And a kitchen you could fit a small house in.”

“You’re just going to miss being so close to my hot bodyguard. Anyway, it’s not like you’re moving any time soon. Daryl didn’t have any news about Tristan or if he’d be coming back,” I admitted sadly.

Jordan reached over and covered my hand with hers. “When, honey. When.”

Nodding, I smiled at her effort to cheer me up. “I know. When. When he’s coming back.”

“And as for Varo, I’m not going to deny it. I’ll be all over him like white on rice the moment he gives me the chance.”

After so much pizza my pants didn’t feel like they fit right anymore, we found Jensen waiting outside for us and got in the car for our ride home. West and Varo didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight, much to Jordan’s disappointment, but I knew that meant nothing. As big as they were, they seemed to know how to blend in so they weren’t seen. All the better. I rarely had anything to say to them, and even though I’d pretended all through dinner that Tony’s didn’t make me sad, the fact was that Jordan had been right.

I still wasn’t ready to deal with all the memories.

Climbing into bed, I closed my eyes to remember when Tristan and I were together, happy and in love.

The warm summer air drifted in through the window, lightly billowing the deep green sheers and carrying the sweet scent of honeysuckle across the room to where we sat. Still dressed in his suit and tie, Tristan leaned against the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

I loved these moments together, just the two of us sitting quietly at the end of the day, not saying a thing to ruin the peaceful silence we shared. For me, this was a change. All my life, I’d filled in the gaps with words rather than experience an awkward silence, but with Tristan, I’d learned to appreciate that silence. Sliding my finger down his red silk tie, I watched a sly smile slowly spread across his lips.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love this after a long day?”

He opened his eyes, and I saw how much these moments meant to him. “Yes, but not yet today,” I teased.

Tristan sighed and reached out to touch my hand. “All day I look forward to these moments. No more people wanting me for a thousand reasons. No more caring about hotels and the bottom line of the other Stone Worldwide businesses. Just quiet and you.”

Even though we hadn’t said the words “I love you” yet to each other, it was obvious in every other word and every action. We didn’t need to say that to know we loved one another. It was the first time in my life that I truly knew how a man felt about me.

I rested my head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat next to my cheek. That steadiness made me feel secure like never before in my life. For all the strangeness that had been a part of our meeting, we’d settled into a sweet space that gave me a sense of stability I’d never known I wanted but now never wanted to be without.

Slowly, his fingers trailed up and down my back. “Tell me about your day,” he whispered above me.

“You don’t want to hear about my boring day full of art.”

I knew how he felt about the artwork I chose for the suites and penthouses. He pretended to be interested, but the man was no art lover. That’s what I was in his life for.

“I’d listen just to hear you speak.”

Lifting my head, I looked up at him and saw that sexy look in his eyes. “Is that what you really want?” I teased.

“Want to know what I really want?”

I loved this Tristan, the playful, gentle soul who could be so open and sweet and who so infrequently showed himself. Charmed, I would have done anything he asked. He had that effect on me.

“I can guess,” I said with a wink. “I thought you were tired, but I like the way you think.”

He eased me off him, and standing up, held his hand out to me. “Come.”

I joined him and expected to be led to the bedroom we now shared, but instead he smiled and whispered, “Don’t move.”

Walking over to the opposite side of the room, he dimmed the lights until the room glowed a soft amber color. I watched him do something in the corner before he returned and pulled me close. Kissing the top of my head, he whispered, “May I have this dance?”

I looked around and waited for music, but none came. “Tristan, what are we dancing to?”

“Give it a second.”

Very slowly, he began swaying back and forth as he held me to him. At least ten seconds went by and then I heard the first sad notes of a song I hadn’t heard in ages. I remembered it instantly.

Nothing Compares 2U by Sinead O’Connor.

While we danced there in the sitting room where we’d first kissed, Tristan whispered the words of the song to me, nearly breaking my heart. He sounded so sad. The song ended and another one I’d never heard began as we continued to slowly sway to the music. Quietly, he said, “When I was a little boy, I heard that song every day. My mother loved it and played it over and over.”

Looking up at him, I said, “I never took you for a Sinead O’Connor fan. It’s a pretty song, but not one I’d think of for you.”

He smiled and shook his head. “I’ve never heard another song by her. All I know is that song.”

“You know all the words.”

“It’s hard not to after hearing it hundreds of times.”

We fell silent for a few moments as we held each other, and I listened to the song playing. “Do you know the words to this one?” I asked him while we danced.

He seemed lost in memory as he looked off in the distance, squeezing me tightly to him. “No. Just that first one.”

“Is everything okay, Tristan? You seem a million miles away.”

My question was met with a smile, and he looked down at me. “Just thinking. I never did understand why she listened to that song so often. Taylor hated it and would run out of the room every time she put it on. She’d just smile and begin singing the words.”

I wanted to ask about his mother. Her beautiful face had stayed in my mind since that first time I’d seen her in their family portrait, but the way Tristan’s mouth always turned down slightly whenever his family was mentioned stopped me every time.

“I think it’s nice that it reminds you of her.”

Tristan stopped dancing and kissed me softly on the lips. “It doesn’t anymore. I heard it this afternoon in a store and realized it reminded me of you.”

“Me? But isn’t the song about how she feels after losing the one she loved?” I asked as a tiny lick of fear took hold of my heart. Was he breaking up with me?