Give Me a Reason (16 page)

“There you are,” Laura said, walking into the kitchen.

Toni looked up, and her eyes widened. Gone was the normal
business suit she was used to seeing Laura wear, and in its place was a pale
blue summer dress. The skirt was loose and flowing, but the halter bodice fit
Laura like a second skin, accentuating her upper half as it plunged low between
her breasts. It had been years since Toni found herself admiring a woman,
allowing her eyes to wander and her imagination to soar, and when she realized
what she was doing, she became annoyed. She didn’t have the right to look. She
didn’t have the right to even imagine. That part of her had died, and she
wanted it to remain that way. Burying her head in her book, she said, “I
assumed your date included supper, so I didn’t make you anything.”

“Yes, it does,” Laura said, looking at the empty plate on the
table. “Did you get enough to eat?”

“Two servings,” Toni muttered as she turned the page of her
book.

Deciding that Toni was just having a rough day, Laura tried
to lighten the mood. Twirling around, she said, “Well, you could at least tell
me if I look okay?”

“You look fine.”

“I was going for something more than
fine
.”

With a sigh, Toni closed her book and looked up. “I don’t see
why it matters what I think. It’s him you’re trying to impress.”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“No. It’s none of my business.”

“You’re right, it’s not, but I thought since Duane made the
effort to apologize, I could at least make the effort to look nice. Do you have
a problem with me going out tonight or have I done something that deserves your
attitude?”

Realizing she was now directing her own annoyance toward
Laura, Toni leaned back in her chair. “I’m sorry. You look great, and you
haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just having a bit of a bad spot today. I hope
you have a great time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. You and I are fine.”

Grinning, Laura said, “Well, he’s going to be here in a few
minutes, but I don’t know where we’re going, so if you need anything, you have
my mobile number. All right?”

Tilting her head to one side, Toni asked, “Is this the part
where you
don’t
treat me like a child?”

Chuckling, Laura’s cheeks darkened. “Touché.”

Toni smiled as she returned to her book, but when she heard a
car horn beep, she jerked up her head. “What? He can’t walk up to the door and
knock?”

“It’s a joke,” Laura said, grabbing her handbag. “I always
run late and he thinks if he keeps the car running, it’ll make me move faster.”

“Does it?”

“Do I look like I’m moving fast?” Laura said, casually
sauntering to the door.

Chapter Fifteen

Hearing the front door open, for a split-second Toni went
rigid until Laura quickly called out, “It’s me.” Waiting until she walked into
the room, Toni asked, “What are you doing home?”

“Last time I checked, I lived here.”

“I know that, but for the past couple of weeks, you’ve been
spending the weekends at Duane’s.”

“Well, not this weekend.”

“Problems?”

“No, not really,” Laura said. “I’m going to put on something
comfortable and have some wine. Would you like a glass?”

Tossing her book onto the coffee table, Toni said, “You go
change. I’ll get the wine.”

A few minutes later, Laura returned wearing track pants and a
T-shirt, and flopped down on the sofa next to Toni. Opening the painkillers she
had in her hand, she tapped out two, popped them in her mouth and washed them
down with a full-bodied Merlot.

“I’m fairly certain that those aren’t supposed to be taken
with that,” Toni said, pointing at the pills and then the wine.

“Ask me if I care.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Is this the part where you’ll never lie to me?”

“Must you remember everything I say?”

“Must you always ask me to give you a reason?”

With a sigh, Laura leaned into the cushions and pinched the
bridge of her nose. “Duane and I had a bit of an argument tonight.”

“A bit?”

“A row.”

“Can I ask why?”

With a snort, Laura leaned over, picked up the painkillers
and shook the bottle.

Toni’s brow wrinkled as she tried to decipher the clue. “He
got mad because you have cramps?”

“Not exactly, but you’re close.”

“I’m lost.”

“When he saw me take the pills he asked me what was wrong,
and I told him, and then his whole attitude changed. He said if he had known,
he would have skipped tonight and gone out with his mates.”

“Why?”

“Because having sex during my cycle is a
major
turn-off for him, and he realized he wasn’t
going to be getting any tonight.”

Toni’s mouth dropped open, staring back at Laura as if she
was in a daze. “You’ve
got
to be joking.”

“Am I laughing?”

“That’s bollocks!”

“I know!”

“Well, so much for him being a nice bloke.”

“That’s the problem, Toni, normally he is. These past few
weeks have been great. I mean,
really
great
and we’ve been having a blast, but then something stupid comes along and turns
it all upside down.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“You going to see him again?”

“I don’t know.”

“You deserve better,” Toni said under her breath as she took
a sip of wine.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Fine. I said you deserve better.”

“You think?”

“You don’t?”

“Sometimes I wonder.”

“A bit down on yourself tonight, aren’t you?”

“Must be the company I’m keeping.” As soon as the words
slipped from her lips, Laura frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Toni.”

“It’s okay. I’m not exactly what most would call an exuberant
housemate.”

Thinking for a moment, Laura asked, “Can I ask you a
question?”

“It depends.”

“Don’t you miss it?”

“What?”

“Sex.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, that’s probably under the heading of crossing the
line, huh?”

“Not yet, but you’re close,” Toni said, quickly following it
with another taste of wine.

She was enjoying Laura’s company, and she didn’t want it to
end, but Toni’s heart rate was increasing by the second. She knew where the
conversation was going, and Toni hoped Laura would pick up on her nervousness
without having to point it out. Unfortunately, Laura didn’t.

“So, do you? Miss it, I mean?”

“I don’t really think about it anymore,” Toni answered, her
voice now barely a whisper.

“Why not?”

Unable to handle any more questions, Toni gritted her teeth
and sprang to her feet, glaring down at Laura as she tried to control her
anger. “It’s none of your fucking business!” After downing what was left of her
wine, Toni stomped to her room and slammed the door.

“Shit,” Laura said. Shaking her head at her own stupidity,
she picked up a nearby pillow and promptly threw it across the room. “Shit.
Shit.
Shit
!”

***

The next morning, Laura awoke to two surprises. The first she
discovered when she shuffled into the kitchen for coffee only to find Toni hard
at work making them a scrumptious breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. Apologies
were quickly exchanged and accepted, and by the time the meal had ended, the
argument had all but been forgotten.

The second surprise came an hour later, when a dozen red
roses were delivered with a lengthy apology from Duane attached. After a dozen
texts and two phone calls, Laura agreed to meet him for drinks Monday night,
and by the time Tuesday rolled around, Duane and Laura were, once again, an
item.

Laura swung the Jeep into the driveway, slipped it into park
and shut off the engine. “Thanks for letting me drive,” she said, handing Toni
back her keys.

“That’s fine, since
I
never
went to the Le Mans School of Driving.”

“I wasn’t driving that fast.”

“You weren’t driving that slow either,” Toni said, climbing
out of the car.

“Duane told me I can’t be late,” Laura said, trotting up the
stairs.

“I still can’t believe you’re giving him another chance.”

“Well, he did apologize and I wasn’t in the greatest of moods
that night anyway, so it was as much my fault as it was his.”

Unlocking the front door, Toni pushed it open. “How the hell
do you figure that? Where is it written that a woman has to tell her date when
she’s on before accepting an invitation?”

“All I’m saying is that I could have handled it better.”

“So could he.”

Dropping her things on a chair, Laura ran up the stairs,
stopping when she reached the top. “You okay with dinner?”

Looking at the bag of Chinese take-away in her hand, Toni
said, “I’m fine. Go, you’ve only got three hours to primp.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Wouldn’t think of it,” Toni said with a small grin. “Of
course, it would be a hell of a surprise if you were actually on time for once.”

“Oh, that reminds me. There’s a surprise in your room.”

“What?”

“Charlie had an early day today, so I gave him your keys, and
he packed up the rest of your books. They’re in your room.”

“Really?”

“Yep, and I thought maybe this weekend we could go out and
try to find a bookcase so you have some place to put them.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. Besides, you’ll be paying. Consider it rent,”
Laura said, giving Toni a quick smile before she disappeared into her room.

***

“So, how do I look?”

Toni glanced up from her book, and her mouth dropped open.
“Wow. You look amazing.”

Laura felt herself blush, and surprised by it, it took a
moment to find her voice. “Um...thanks.”

It was your basic little black dress, but the color was the
only basic thing about it. A mixture of jersey and silk, the chiffon overlay
added an air of sophistication to the simple frock, and the knotted detail
gathering the fabric at the base of the plunging neckline left little doubt
that Laura was all woman. Sleeveless and stopping just short of her knee, the
dress was beautiful, but it paled in comparison to the woman who wore it.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Laura asked.

It took a few seconds for Toni to realize that Laura had
spoken, and raising her eyes to meet Laura’s, she said, “A...A favor? Sure, if
I can.”

Holding out a thin gold chain, Laura said, “I can never work
the clasp. Do you mind?”

“No, of course not,” Toni said, taking the necklace from
Laura. “Turn around.”

Laura did as asked and a few seconds passed before Toni said,
“This
is
a bugger.”

“And here I thought it was just me.”

“I’ve got it,” Toni said. “You’ll have to lift your hair.”

Laura held up her hair without giving it a second thought and
Toni reached around, draping the necklace so she could fasten it. It seemed so
innocent and normal to Laura, one friend helping another, but when Toni rested
her fingers on Laura’s neck for leverage, the sensation Laura felt didn’t
quite
fall under the heading of friendship.

“Are you cold?” Toni asked, noticing goose bumps on Laura’s
skin.

“Um...maybe a bit. Have you got it yet?”

“Just did.”

About to step away, Laura drew in a quick breath when she
felt Toni’s fingers on the zipper of her dress.

“You missed the hook,” Toni said, patting Laura on the
shoulder. “All better now.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Watching as Toni returned to the table to finish her meal,
Laura asked, “Have you started unpacking your books yet?”

“No, I thought I’d do that after dinner. Maybe try to
organize them by author or title.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

A car horn beeped and Laura immediately grinned at the sight
of Toni’s scowl. “Toni, relax. I told you, it’s just a joke.”

“Right.”

“Well, I’m out of here. You have fun alphabetizing, and I’ll
see you later. Okay?”

“Yeah, and I hope you have a great time tonight.”

“Thanks,” Laura said, heading to the door. “Don’t wait up.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

***

Laura was duly impressed with Duane’s choice of restaurant,
and as they were led to their table, she couldn’t help but admire the
award-winning Reading Room. Located in Shoreditch, the restaurant was known for
both its ambiance and its international cuisine. Set in what used to be an old
book depository, the owners had spared no expense in making the upscale eatery
true to its name. The walls were covered in bookcases, overflowing with volumes
old and new, and the martini bar set off from the entry was filled with
overstuffed sofas and chairs where patrons could sip their gin or vodka while
they nibbled appetizers served to them on silver platters.

The main dining area was spacious and filled to capacity, but
the noise of the busy restaurant was absorbed by the stately bookcases lining
the walls and the domed skylights two stories above their heads. Simple, yet
elegant tables covered in white linen filled the room, and atop each were
crystal goblets standing proud near polished silverware, all reflecting the
flickering light coming from candles set in glass globes in the center of the
tables.

After the waiter had taken their drink order, Laura asked,
“How did you ever manage to get a reservation? I heard this place was booked
for months.”

“It’s all about who you know, babe. Besides, nothing’s too
good for my girl.”

“Is that right?” Laura said, sitting back in her chair.

A gurgle of laughter escaped Duane’s lips as he held his
hands up in mock surrender. “All right, the truth is the reservation belonged
to one of my mates, but his girlfriend dumped him last week. Since he wasn’t
going to use it, I asked him if I could because I wanted to take you somewhere
special. Somewhere we could have a nice quiet chat and talk about our future.”

“Our future?”

“Laura, you’ve got to know that I love you, but this isn’t
working. You need to get rid of your lodger so we can get back to having a life
together. I’m tired of just crumbs, Laura. I want it all. I want you to be my
wife.”

“What are you talking about?” Laura said, leaning closer to
keep her voice low. “Duane, the only reason I started going out with you again
was because you promised all you wanted was casual. And as far as Toni’s
concerned, I have no intention of asking her to leave. I like having her
around.”

“So where the hell does that leave me?”

***

Carefully carrying a cup of coffee into her bedroom, Toni
placed it on the nightstand and glanced at the stack of boxes in the corner.
Scratching her head, she knelt on the floor, opening the first and peering
inside to see what secrets it held. Smiling at the familiar titles, she began
stacking the volumes on the floor, deciding that sorting by author instead of
title would be easier. The first box was emptied in no time, as was the second,
but as she came upon the next in line, she stopped and stared.

It was different in shape and color, and the tape sealing the
lid had been yellowed by age. Tilting her head, Toni tried to remember what it
contained, and after taking a quick sip of coffee, she began picking at the
brittle cellophane until it gave way. Opening the flaps, she looked inside and
the silence of her room was shattered as she drew a quick, hissed breath. She didn’t
notice the minutes slipping by as she sat cross-legged on the floor. She didn’t
feel her legs begin to cramp from the position, or the dryness of her mouth as
she sucked in air through parted lips. And if blinking hadn’t been a reflex,
Toni’s eyes would have turned to dust, for in the box were her ruins from
Thornbridge.

She had been on the block when it happened. Men dressed in
long, heavy coats and wearing angry faces, arrested the guilty and gathered the
convicted. Those too violent or crazed were put into strait jackets, while
others were placed in shiny cuffs and escorted to vans lined at the ready, and
personal effects were packed, sealed and labeled with the names and numbers of
inmates, so they could be shipped to a holding area to await redistribution.
Within weeks, prison records were corrected, and the packages were sent to the
appropriate prisons or mental facilities, but in Toni’s case, hers had been
shipped to Krista’s where it had been stuffed into a closet and forgotten.