Giving Up the Ghost (24 page)

Hard, perfectly timed strokes coupled with the relentless slam of John’s cock into him…he loved that when he needed this from John -- or wanted to give it -- it was his for the asking. With his body still in shock from the vision, still humming, itching, he needed to be overwhelmed with sensations he’d asked for, not been forced to endure. At times like this he wanted John’s love expressed through strength, wanted John’s hands to leave marks he could see, however fast they faded, wanted to hear John’s voice, deep and musical, crack and falter as he cried out his name.

“God, yes.” He had to say something, because it was so good, so good that he couldn’t even hold himself up anymore; he collapsed forward, forehead pressed to the mattress and his ass still up in the air as John fucked him. Each thrust forced a little moan from him, because John’s hand on his erection was perfect. John knew just how to touch him, and John’s fingers riding the ridge just under the head of his cock, John’s thumb slicking across the tip -- it was too much. Nick was coming, crying out as the pleasure tore all the way up into his gut. “God,” he muttered. “John. God. John.”

“Nick!” He wished he could see John and the look on his face, but he didn’t really need to; it was all there in that single word, passion and love and need, tumbled together. He rode out the final blur of thrusts as John reached his own climax, the heat of it spreading through him, and then let himself collapse face down on the bed, John covering him, warm and heavy and
there
.

For a long time neither of them moved, waiting for breathing to return to normal. Nick liked things the way they were, anyway; it was comforting, reassuring to have John’s solid weight on him, and he almost would have liked to fall asleep like that, but he wasn’t really sleepy enough to do that no matter how comfortable he was. “We should move.”

“Mm,” John murmured, not moving either.

“Soon.”

“Mm?” John jerked suddenly as if he’d been jolted awake. “Am I squashing you, then? You should’ve said…” He slid off, rocking the bed slightly, and lay beside Nick, his arm immediately coming to rest across Nick’s shoulders. “Better, love?”

Nick snuggled closer, not that there was really all that much closer to get. “I didn’t mean soon as in now, I meant soon as in eventually.” He licked John’s throat, tasting his faintly salty skin, and sighed with contentment. “You aren’t that heavy, you know.”

“If I keep eating key lime pie for dessert that might change.” John’s hand smoothed down Nick’s back in a slow sweep. “You’re just so…” He shook his head, his lips finding the pulse at Nick’s temple and kissing it. “You look at me and I can’t think, you know that? It’s like you’re all there is, all I can see. It’s never been like this with anyone. Never close.”

“I never thought I’d have anything like this.” Nick felt exposed in ways that had nothing to do with nudity, but he wanted John to hear this. “After Matthew died -- hell, even before -- I thought there was something about me that prevented me from being really close to anyone. You know I went to Traighshee thinking I’d live out the rest of my life there, alone. I never thought, not even once, that I’d meet someone who’d understand me the way you do.” He stroked a hand over John’s hip absently. “Someone who’d love me. I go around all the time with this feeling, like…like my heart in my throat, maybe -- because it’s so incredible to think this might be real.”

“Aye…” John kissed him, a light brush of the lips, no more, and then another, deeper, softer. “Well, it’s real, love, I promise you that.” There was a glint of amusement in John’s eyes now, chasing away the emotion that was becoming just a little too intense for Nick to handle. “And us needing another shower is real, too, so I hope they got around to giving us new towels.” He gave Nick’s ass a pat with enough sting in it to have Nick mouthing a reproachful “ow” at him and then rolled off the bed.

The combined exertion of their swim and the sex, followed by a warm shower, was enough to have Nick’s eyes closing. He barely remembered the end of the shower; he was vaguely aware of John helping to towel him dry, and then of a pillow against his cheek.

Chapter Fourteen

The insistent ringing of the telephone woke him from a deep, dreamless sleep; he fumbled a hand for the receiver and knocked it onto the floor. “Shit,” he said, leaning over the bed and grabbing it. “Yeah. Um. Hello.”

An unrecognizable voice on the other end of the line said, “Well, hello to you, too. Charming phone manner you have there, Nick.” Slowly, Nick’s brain provided the information that it was Greg Duncan.

“Hi. Sorry. I was asleep.” Nick sat up, glancing at John, who didn’t seem to have been disturbed by the ringing of the phone or his voice. He moved over to the other bed.

“Asleep?” He could hear Greg processing that and managed to focus on the clock beside the bed. Just after six. Okay, most people were awake at six in the evening…“Well, I’m sorry to have woken you.”

“No problem. I’ve got somewhere I need to be later, so it’s just as well.”

He could sense the stirring of interest at the other end of the line as clearly as if Greg was in front of him, gray eyes sharpening.

“Somewhere to be?”

“Personal business,” Nick said flatly.

“You know, you could be a little friendlier when I’m calling to tell you I got what you wanted,” Greg said, the reproach in his voice laid on a little too thickly to be genuine. Nick imagined a reporter grew a pretty tough skin.

Still, that didn’t mean he was wrong. “Sorry. It’s just been kind of a long couple of days, you know?”

“Yeah.” Now Greg did sound sympathetic, and it made Nick like him, just a little bit. “Do you have a pen? I’ve got that information on the kid you asked me about.”

“Uh-huh, hang on, just a second.” He found a pen and paper. “Okay, go ahead.” He wrote it down -- Joshua Denbrough, adopted by his mother’s new husband, William, address, phone number.

“Is that what you wanted?”

“That’s great, yes. Thank you.” What he was going to do with it, he didn’t know yet. Having a way to get in touch with his brother was freaking him out; the thought of actually doing it was even worse.

Greg’s voice became ultra casual. “You know, if you wanted to pay me back…we never did really finish that interview. I got some information from you, but not much. And what I’d really like is to see you in action. Any chance of that, do you think?”

“I don’t know.” There were too many factors. “Give me a second to think, okay?” Nick considered everything -- he didn’t know how things would go tonight, trying to use Melissa’s tea for the first time. But maybe it would be better for John if there was someone else there? On the other hand, John didn’t like Greg. “Let me talk to my partner and I’ll get back to you. I think we can work something out, but I don’t want to say yes without asking him.”

“He doesn’t like me, does he?” Greg sounded a little bit amused. “No, no, that’s okay. I probably wouldn’t like me, either, if our positions were reversed. You know how to get in touch with me -- give me a call when you figure it out.”

They said their goodbyes and Nick hung up the phone quietly, then moved over to the bed where John was still sleeping.

“John?” He stroked his hand over John’s hair gently.

The soft grumble John gave, twitching away from Nick’s hand and burrowing his head deeper into his pillow, made Nick smile, but a second touch, this time a small shake of John’s shoulder, had John waking up.

“Nick?” John yawned widely and blinked his eyes open. “Did you say something? Thought I…ohhh…” He yawned again and then sat up. He had a knack Nick envied of waking up and being alert a moment later; Nick was more of a slow starter in the morning. “Did the phone ring?”

“Yeah. Greg Duncan had some information for me. About Josh.” Nick shifted, rested a hand on John’s leg. “I thought, if I wanted to get in touch with him…well, probably his mother, actually. He’s just a kid. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t want to.”

“You will,” John said with more certainty than Nick felt. “He’s family; how can you not?” He raised his hand to cup Nick’s face. “And I’m glad the man found out for you; saves us doing it, with all we’ve got on our plate.” He patted Nick’s face and then raised his arms over his head, stretching and giving a third and final yawn.

“Too much,” Nick agreed, then started to worry. “Is it? I know you weren’t counting on all of this when you said you’d come with me…”

John gave him a baffled look. “Well, I didn’t expect you to discover long-lost family members, no, but I wasn’t expecting it to be fun, Nick. We came here because your father died; this isn’t a holiday, for all I’m making the most of the scenery.” He sighed, pushing the covers back and giving Nick a quick hug. “You might be the first man I’ve been with for longer than a night, but I loved Michael for years and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done if he’d needed me. How can you not think the same applies to you?”

“I know. I know it does.” On the surface Nick couldn’t help but worry, but deep down he knew that John was as steadfast and loyal as anyone he’d ever meet. “I’m just being, I don’t know. I’m thinking too much, maybe. Do you want to go have dinner in the restaurant next door? That Mexican place?”

“Mexican?” John said doubtfully. “Will it be a wee bit spicy, do you think? Stella did one of those theme nights of her at the restaurant; ‘South of the Border’ or something like that, and I’ve never seen so many people begging for water after two mouthfuls of the chili she’d made.” He looked thoughtful. “She sold a lot of beer, too.”

“Mexican beer is one of the best reasons to eat Mexican food.” Nick got up and started to search for some clean clothes. He hadn’t been doing a very good job of keeping them sorted, and it was hard to remember which he’d worn enough to consider them dirty and which he hadn’t. He held up a shirt and looked at it. “It won’t be too spicy if they know that’s not what you want. And some of it’s not spicy at all. Trust me, it’ll be good.”

“Fair enough.”

John began to get dressed, too, picking out darker clothes, which reminded Nick of what they’d be doing after they ate. Which effectively took away his appetite before they’d got there, and he hadn’t even mentioned Greg’s idea to John yet…

“He wants to come with us,” Nick blurted out, and John looked at him. “Greg Duncan. He wants to see what I do. And I thought, tonight, maybe, because if things get bad again, it might be good to have someone else there. Other than Alicia, I mean, since she’s kind of…well, I don’t get the impression she’d be very useful during a crisis. But I told him I needed to talk to you about it.”

It took a while for John to answer, and Nick watched John’s face with some anxiety. John wasn’t all that good at hiding his emotions, although he seemed to be trying to keep his expression blank, and there was some hurt showing.

“I managed last time,” John said finally, sounding a bit stiff. “But…” He blew out a gusty breath. “Okay, fine. And if Alicia has hysterics, I hope to God it’s him she grabs, not me.” He gave Nick a sidelong look. “You really think he’s interested in this article he says he wants to write? It’s not just a way to, well, get to hang around you?”

“I really don’t think he wants me like that.” Nick decided the shirt he was holding would do and slipped it on. “He said as much. I mean, he probably wants to have sex with me, but I think he’s looking for conquests, not a relationship. And he’s curious. He can’t figure me out, and I think that doesn’t happen to him very often.”

“He wants to have sex with you,” John repeated, focusing in on Nick’s first words. He sounded grim but a moment later he chuckled. “Well, he can’t. And that’s not me being possessive, unless you want me to be; he’s just not got a chance, has he?”

“Of course not.” Nick was a little bit -- but only a little bit -- surprised that he even had to say it. “Not that I mind you being possessive.” That was kind of appealing, actually, in more ways than one. “But I’m not interested in him at all. Not even slightly. I don’t see anyone else but you.” He went over and kissed John, then looked into his eyes seriously. “There’s no part of me that wants him. I swear.”

“He’s not
that
bad-looking,” John murmured teasingly. “And I don’t mind you looking; you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. I just…” His lips found a place on Nick’s neck that John always seemed to aim for. He wasn’t sure if it was because John knew it made him shiver, or if it was just the natural place to kiss, in the curve of his neck. “Just like hearing you say that, because it’s how I feel, too. And if he wants to come along, he can. Call him. Tell him to meet us there, if that’s fine with you. You’re in charge when it comes to this, love, not me.”

John moved away a little, searching for his shoes, his shoulders relaxed now as if what Nick had said had gotten through to him. “Did Matthew watch?” he asked suddenly. “Stay with you like I do?”

Nick thought they must have talked about this before, but maybe they hadn’t. “Not like you.” He started to button his shirt. “He was there, when he could be, and he’d talk me through it afterwards, but he never knew how to help the way you do. With you, it’s like…instinct. But you’re wrong about one thing.” John looked up at him. “I’m definitely not in charge.”

John winced, then his face smoothed out. “Maybe it’ll be different tonight. Tea and candles…maybe tonight you’ll call the tune and they’ll be the ones dancing.”

“That’d be nice,” Nick said. He couldn’t even begin to imagine that happening, but he was sure it would be nice.

They finished getting dressed, and then John boiled some water in the small kettle the hotel provided and brewed some of the tea, pouring it into an empty water bottle and giving the murky, greenish liquid a dubious sniff.

“Sooner you than me,” he muttered, “but if it does the job…”

“I don’t care what it tastes like if it works,” Nick told him, reaching for the phone to call Greg, although the herbs in combination did smell worse than the seaweed on the rocks back home.

He made the conversation brief, giving Greg a time to meet them at the crash site, and then they left.

The restaurant was next door to the hotel. It was crowded, but they got a table almost immediately anyway. When their waitress came to get their drink orders, Nick gave John a “trust me” look and asked for two Negra Modelos.