Giving Up the Ghost (30 page)
“Yes.” Nick said. It was hard not to be stunned at the rate at which the conversation could turn. “Really.”
“When did you know you could do it?”
Nick shrugged. “I never couldn’t. I thought everyone could see them but they just didn’t talk about it. Like it was good manners, or something.” He smiled, remembering how confused he’d been about that. “Then one day my mom found out and she was, well, she thought it was cool, too.”
Too cool. He’d almost have preferred it if she’d freaked. She’d been so eager to share, so insistent that he tell her, describe it, so disappointed that no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t see them…
Nick cleared his throat, suspicions solidifying. “Uh…you can’t see them, can you?”
Josh gave a hoot of laughter at the idea and skipped high in the air, a drizzle of melting popsicle trickling down his hand. “Me? No way!” He glanced around them, sobering abruptly. “Are there any here now?”
“Here?” Nick looked around automatically. “No. None here now.”
“Whew.” Wiping his brow, Josh left a bright red stripe across his skin without realizing it. “My mom wouldn’t think something like that was cool. She’d totally wig.”
Nick could guess what that meant. “She didn’t when I told her.”
“That’s different. You’re not her kid.” Josh slurped his popsicle again. “You’re nice, though. You should move here.”
“Um…” Taking a lick of his own melting snow cone to give himself a few seconds, Nick thought quickly. “We like it where we are. The house we live in is where my grandparents lived, and where my mom lived when she was a little girl.”
“Oh.” Josh obviously didn’t find that a compelling reason to live somewhere, but he nodded politely. “Does your mom like you living there?”
“She’s dead,” Nick told him, his loss old enough that he felt no more than a small pang of sorrow. “She died before I went there, so I don’t really know how she’d feel.”
Which wasn’t strictly true; his mother would have hated the thought of him returning to the island she’d viewed as a prison, but he didn’t see any need to share that with Josh.
He got a speculative, slightly disappointed look as if Josh had been expecting another answer. “You don’t talk to her?”
“No,” Nick said. “She’s gone. She went…wherever ghosts go, when they don’t stay here. Not that many of them stick around after they die.”
“There wouldn’t be room,” Josh agreed.
Nick thought about walking through a world peopled with everyone who’d ever lived and shuddered, his breath catching, a momentary feeling of suffocation overwhelming him. A hand, sticky and warm, slipped into his, and he glanced down at Josh, fighting to keep his face from showing his feelings.
“It’s okay,” Josh said. “There’s only a few of them, remember?”
“I know.” Nick took a slow breath and squeezed his brother’s hand, ignoring the fact that they might be stuck together in a moment or two more. “I’m glad we came to see you.”
“Me, too. And not just because of the presents.” Josh grinned. “I know about the other thing, too. Mom told me.”
Nick looked at him, confused. “The other thing?”
“About you being gay,” Josh confided, lowering his voice because, if nothing else, he’d already learned that some people didn’t approve. “With John. Mom says it’s part of nature. Some boys like boys, and other boys like girls.”
It was more accepting than Nick would have anticipated, even though he’d known that Stacy hadn’t seemed to have a problem with it. “I think,” he said carefully, “that the most important thing is that you find people who understand you.”
“And he does?”
“Always.” It was a simple answer, but that was how it was with John. Their fight had been because, yes, for once the always hadn’t been correct; John hadn’t been able to figure out what was wrong with Nick, and Nick was beginning to appreciate fully just how frustrating that must have been for John.
“And you live together? In that house?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about the island,” Josh commanded, releasing Nick’s hand and returning most of his attention to his popsicle, which was starting to disintegrate into slush in the sun. “Is it big? Could I walk across it in a day?”
“Not very big and I don’t know. I don’t know how far you can walk.”
“A long way,” Josh bragged, his tongue capturing a fragment of ice. “Miles and miles.”
They were almost at the house. Nick gave Josh’s stained T-shirt a horrified look but decided that trying to wipe it would just make it worse. “Uh…your mom doesn’t get mad when you get messy, does she? Because you can blame me, if you want to.”
“She won’t get mad.” Josh said it with confidence, but looked down at his shirt and frowned. “She’ll make me change, though. And wash my hands.” He licked around his lips, which just made things worse from what Nick could tell. “And my face. She likes stuff clean. But she doesn’t get mad at me for getting dirty. Even when she wants to.” He took off at a run. “Race you!”
The boy was already inside by the time Nick had jogged up the front steps, the door left ajar. He went back into the kitchen, where John’s glass of tea had, he noted, been replaced with ice water. Josh was throwing his popsicle stick into the trash and nodding at his mother.
“I know,” Josh said. “I told Nick you’d say that.” He turned and went past Nick and up the stairs, presumably to change his shirt.
“I hope it’s okay,” Nick said.
“Oh, it’s fine. As long as he stays in one piece, I’m happy.” Stacy eyed Nick’s soggy paper cone dubiously. “Can I take that?”
“I think it’s beyond saving,” Nick agreed, but he moved to the sink and poured the sticky, syrupy ice down the drain before throwing the cone away. “Did John regale you with romantic tales of his homeland?”
“I told her nothing but the truth,” John said, the corners of his mouth twitching just enough to rouse Nick’s suspicions. “And she still didn’t believe me about the water kelpies.”
Stacy gave John an indulgent smile very similar to the one Josh had received. “I didn’t, but it still sounds wonderful. Maybe some day William will take us over there and we’ll be able to see your island for ourselves. He goes to
“No,” John said gently. “It’s just a wee bit farther than you think from London to Traighshee, but you and yours would always be welcome, I can promise you that.”
Her eyes softened. “You’re both so nice.” Then she looked at Nick shrewdly. “Did he behave himself?”
“Absolutely,” Nick said. He wondered whether he should tell Stacy that Josh knew about his abilities, but decided that was between them. “He’s a great kid. You must be really proud.”
“I am.” Stacy smiled as they heard Josh thundering down the stairs again; a moment later he flew into the kitchen, wearing a clean T-shirt and with a package of batteries in hand.
“I can’t open them,” Josh said, brow furrowed.
“I never can, either,” John confessed.
Nick opened his mouth to tell Josh that he’d do it but Josh was already whirling around, holding them out. “Thanks!”
He took them from Josh, something clicking into place in his head, something just out of reach…
“This is gonna be so cool!” Josh was enthusing, opening the package with the Gameboy cartridge in it and plugging it into the player while Nick managed to tear the plastic packaging around the batteries open. He handed them over and watched, smiling, as Josh snapped the batteries in place, flipped the player over, and started to play the game immediately.
“You don’t need the instructions?” Nick asked.
“Uh-uh.” Josh was staring at the little screen intently, thumbs moving at a furious rate.
“Where’s the fun in that?” John put in, glancing over at Josh and smiling. “Dive in and find out how it works the hard way.”
“He’ll be playing that for hours,” Stacy said with a sigh. “Totally oblivious to everything else.” Nick started to apologize but she waved him quiet. “Trust me, long car trips are bliss!”
Nick grinned. “I bet.” He looked over to John, catching his eye. “We should think about leaving. We’re catching a flight home tonight and we have to check in at seven.”
“You must be anxious to get back. It must be very peaceful there.” Stacy sounded a bit wistful.
“It is.” In more ways than she’d have been able to imagine, probably. “But thanks for letting us come by. We were so close; it seemed stupid not to take advantage of it.”
Josh looked up. “You’re leaving? You just got here.” He looked upset.
“We have a plane to catch,” Nick explained. “But you can call me. Any time you want. And your mom says maybe you’ll come visit.”
“Mom?” He looked at her and his eyebrows drew together in an accusing frown. “No, it won’t be too long a trip! I’d
like
it!”
“I never said --” She gave Nick and John a helpless look. “Sometimes it’s like he can just--”
“Read your mind,” Nick said slowly.
Stacy laughed, missing the look he gave Josh, a fleeting exchange of glances that left Nick warned to silence. “Exactly! Kids. I suppose it’s because we tend to say the same things and mostly it’s ‘no’.” She ruffled Josh’s hair. “We’ll think about it. Seriously, okay? I mean that.”
Josh studied her face and nodded grudgingly before giving Nick another look, this time appealing.
“Could I just say goodbye to Josh alone?” Nick asked. “Maybe in the yard? It’d be nice to have some fresh air before we’re stuck in the terminal for hours.”
“Of course,” Stacy agreed. “I’ll show John the front garden and you can meet us there.”
Josh was reluctant to put down his Gameboy, but did so with a minimal amount of grumbling and went out into the backyard with Nick. “Yes,” the boy said as soon as the door closed. “I can. You knew it before.”
If there’d been any lingering doubt, that did away with it. Nick leaned against the wooden picnic table and watched Josh’s face carefully as he thought about fireworks and cotton candy.
Rolling his eyes, Josh threw himself down onto the grass. “Fireworks,” he said, bored. “Cotton candy. What’s candy floss?”
Nick hadn’t even realized he’d been thinking that. “It’s what they call cotton candy in
“That’s weird. And anyway, you should believe me because you can see ghosts, right?”
“Right.” Nick blinked. “Wait -- you weren’t really listening on the stairs, were you.”
“Duh.” Josh picked a blade of grass and fitted it between his hands, blowing through them and making a plaintive screeching noise.
“I believe you.” Nick looked at him. “And, yes, I’m still freaked by it, no matter what I can see. What you can do…Can you turn it off? Not look?”
“Sure.” Josh nodded. “I have to want to and mostly…I don’t. It gives me a headache, and you…” He hunched his shoulder, a flush deepening on his face. “Grown ups…they’re
stupid
. Mushy stuff…who cares?”
Nick swallowed, trying not to think about what Josh might have picked up from his parents, flashing, despite his efforts, to John smiling up at him from a tangle of sheets, his eyes dreamy and sated.
“Yeah.” Josh sighed. “That.”
“Then stop it!” Nick’s voice was sharper than he’d intended, but it had the effect he’d wanted; Josh visibly disconnected the link to his power, his face screwing tight with concentration, then smoothing out.
“Okay. I’m not listening anymore.” Josh pouted. “I don’t do it a lot.”
“You shouldn’t do it at all,” Nick said helplessly. “It’s…it’s not polite.”
“Like burping at the table?” Josh gave him a look too cynical for a child his age. “I don’t think so.”
“Okay, it’s worse. Much worse.” Nick groaned, the pressure of the limited time they had bearing down on him. “Is that all you can do?”
“I think so.” Josh sounded uncertain. “What else is there?”
“I don’t know…Can you talk to me? Telepathy? Put words into my head?”
“I don’t know -- do you want me to try?” Josh’s face lit up. “I don’t have anyone I can play with, but you -- you get it. You know…”
“I don’t know about this.” Nick rubbed his hand over his face. “You haven’t told anyone, have you?” Josh shook his head. “God. Look, I have to go, but…here.” He grabbed a pen from his pocket and scribbled down his email address on the back of the hotel bill. “You’ve got a computer?”
Josh frowned. “Everyone does.”
“No, but since you do…We can email, okay? Talk about this…”
“Keep it a secret?”
Nick bit his lip. “I don’t want that. Look, your mom was cool with what I could do --”
“This is different.”
“Yes. You’re her son. She loves you.” Nick was sure about that, even if he was far from sure about how Stacy would react to Josh’s news. “Tell her. You have to. And email me, okay? Let me know how it goes.”
“You have to email me back,” Josh said firmly. “And tell me about the ghosts. Did you…” He faltered, frowning. “You saw him. Our dad. Was he…did it hurt?” He suddenly seemed every inch the small boy that he was, afraid and in need of comfort.
“It didn’t.” Nick sat down beside him, wanting to make sure he knew from words shared and not just thoughts skimmed. The grass was hot, the sun warm across the back of his neck. “It happened really, really fast, and it didn’t hurt. And he wasn’t afraid, when I saw him. He was okay.” He reached out tentatively, unsure if he’d be rebuffed, and ruffled Josh’s hair. “Maybe we’ll see him again.”
“I’m
never
gonna die,” Josh said, sitting up straighter, looking stubborn. His eyes dared Nick to tell him otherwise, and Nick knew better than to try.
Lightly, he said, “So, in this really long life of yours, will you come visit me some time? Even if it’s when you’re older. Without your mom. Deal?”
“Deal.” John shook his hand solemnly, then, without warning, threw his arms around Nick in a quick, impulsive hug.
Nick felt it, the connection of blood, of family, and blinked away the wetness in his eyes before he pulled back, fairly certain Josh would label that as mushy, too. He stood, reaching down to pull Josh up, but the boy shook his head.
