Giving You Forever (14 page)

“I just thought…never mind.” I shake my head, not even going down that road, knowing that this gym is important to him and that’s where he needs to be.

He lifts my chin, bringing my sight back to his. “No, tell me–what were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head before stepping back and heading towards the stairs to go take a shower and get ready for my day.

“Alexa!” he calls out from behind me, but I act like I don’t hear him, turning the corner to the stairs.

– NOLAN –

The last thing I wanted to do today was make Alexa upset, but from the look on her face and the way she stormed away from me, that’s exactly what I did. Once again, I’m letting her down, not knowing how to juggle this gym and our relationship.

Pounding my fist into the counter, I don’t know what to do. I thought that Alexa would be happy to know that we are going to work our asses off the next couple of weeks. We’d finally be done with it all, and could get our life back to normal. But fuck it all to hell–that backfired in my face. It just pissed her off instead.

What does she expect me to do, though? Throw thousands of dollars and months of planning down the drain just for a few extra hours together a week? Yeah, I’d love to spend every waking hour with her, but it’s two fucking weeks out of a lifetime together. It’s not like this is going to be the rest of our lives. The more I think about it, the angrier
I
get.

It’s two fucking weeks!

Alexa and I never really get into disagreements, and when we do it’s usually my fault, so I apologize, we fuck and call it a day, but this time is different. I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not going to go apologize for something I’m doing for
her
. Once again, it’s not good enough. She wants both things–the gym done and me around twenty-four seven. It’s impossible. She’s not being realistic.

Finding a post-it note sitting by the phone, I write—

I grab my keys, slip on my shoes, and head out the garage door.

– ALEXA –

Part of me hoped that Nolan would follow me up the stairs, wanting to make things right, but part of me is glad that he didn’t. Yeah, I know the gym is where he needs to be–I’ve known that for a while and that’s why I’ve always accepted it, but after what he confessed to me Friday, and the day we shared yesterday, I thought things had changed and that he was taking a step back so that we could spend more time together. Yet, this morning I’m told it’s going to be the opposite and that, for the next two weeks, it’s going to be worse than before. Believing that once the gym opens we’re going to have our lives back to normal doesn’t seem accurate either. Unless they hire a load of staff so that he doesn’t have to be there, but he’ll be putting in just as many hours as now. And knowing Nolan, he won’t hire a bunch of people anyway. Being the control freak he is, he’ll need to be there himself.

Sighing as I squeeze the shampoo on my hand, I don’t know what to do. I’m sure he’s either stewing downstairs or maybe even in our bedroom, waiting for me to be done so that we can talk it out, have make up sex, and continue on with life. I’m not sure this fight is going to be that easy; we both have different visions of the situation at hand. We aren’t going to see eye to eye on this one. I know it.

After rinsing my hair and washing my face, I take my time getting out of the shower and applying my make-up–preventing the inevitable and hoping that a solution will magically pop into my head. Relief consumes my body when I step outside the bathroom and into our bedroom, not seeing Nolan. Taking advantage of the few extra minutes, I take my time getting dressed. Once finished, I know it’s time. Time to head back downstairs and fight it out. Have our first
real
disagreement and try to find a solution together.

My stomach knots and twists in two when I get downstairs and don’t see Nolan anywhere in sight.

Did he leave?

“Nolan?” I shout out, thinking that maybe he’s just somewhere I can’t see, but I get nothing in return.

I frantically look around, and that’s when I see the post-it stuck to the counter.

He left? He just left without even discussing this? Does he not care…care how I feel about this? It’s just going to be done, that’s it?

Tears well in my eyes as I stand here stunned. Nolan has never just left. He’s always been the one eager to make things right, making sure nothing comes between us. Is he giving up? Is he picking the gym over me?

Chapter Thirteen

– NOLAN –

Today I have back to back interviews that Mike has set up. From personal trainers, to receptionists, to janitorial staff…I’m interviewing candidates to staff the entire gym. I can’t focus, though. Visions of Alexa keep creeping inside of my head and mounds of guilt for leaving without saying goodbye consume my body. Alexa is my world, and I feel like it’s crashing down around me.

Yesterday afternoon when I stopped back home to see her, she wasn’t there. The house was empty, her car was gone, and all that was left was a new post-it note.

I wanted to call her. Hell, I almost drove up to their house, but I didn’t. I didn’t do either. She needed time away. Time away from me…from us. I didn’t sleep. I paced the downstairs, then our bedroom, then tossed and turned all night long. She belongs at our house, in our bed, and in my arms. Nothing feels right with her not there. She’s never left. She’s never felt the need to leave. But this time she did, and it scares the living shit out of me.

– ALEXA –

Although I’m in class today, I’m not present. I left yesterday, but only took enough clothes for one night. I stood in the kitchen for what felt like hours, replaying what had happened. I didn’t think it was
that
big of a deal–just a disagreement, something we’d have to discuss, but he left–without saying goodbye. He’s never done that before, but this time he did.

My mom and dad didn’t ask questions when I showed up with my backpack and a duffel bag of clothes. I just told them that Nolan and I had a disagreement and that I needed room to breathe for the night. They just nodded their head and smiled. Of course, my mom added that if I needed to talk, she was there. And my dad asked if it had anything to do with the dinner I made for Nolan the previous night. I chuckled at his question and assured him dinner was great and thanked my mom for the offer, but I just wanted some time to myself. They honored that for the rest the day, evening, night, and morning.

Now I sit in class, staring at the wall, realizing that sleeping at my parents accomplished nothing. I didn’t figure anything out and all I’ve gained is a nervous pit in my stomach. I haven’t heard anything from Nolan. Not a call, text…nothing. I’ve never been the girl that played games and needed to be chased, but with Nolan it’s different. I want him to chase me. To fight for me. To show me that he cares and that I’m worth fighting for. All I want to be is his priority. Yesterday I felt like I was on the back burner to the gym.

After school, I have an appointment to look at wedding venues with Meg. Perfect. I have an appointment for a wedding that I’m not even sure is still on. How is that even possible? Is questioning that a stretch? Was it that big of a disagreement? I’m entirely lost. How did we even get in this position?