Authors: Lisa de Jong
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College
Dane had been secretive about who we were meeting today, and while I had many ideas running through my head, my dad wasn’t even a blip on my radar. I had thought of Gwen, or maybe Jade. Even someone in the art industry crossed my mind, but not this.
The minute I stepped into the coffee shop, my heart started to work overtime in my chest, and I couldn’t find any words. Why would Dane bring me here to meet my dad? I glance at Dane; his back is stiff and his muscles rigid. He feels my discomfort, or maybe he’s worried about my reaction.
He grasps my hand firmly in his and moves us toward my dad’s table. My chest starts to tighten with every step, and I can’t breathe. Dane stops right in front of my dad, guiding me to stand in front of him. He’s holding onto the back of my arms like he knows I could fall at any minute.
My dad does something I don’t expect. He smiles up at me, gesturing for me to take the seat across from him. I turn back to Dane who nods and helps pull the chair out for me. If someone told me aliens landed on Earth, I would believe that over this.
“I’m going to go grab us some coffee. I’ll be right back,” Dane says, breaking the deafening silence. It wakes me from my daze, and I try to grab for him, but he’s out of my reach. It’s just us now.
“Hi, Alex. You look like you’re doing well in the city,” my dad says, looking right into my eyes. I’m not used to the contact, and my first reaction is to break it, but I don’t.
My eyes widen as I realize he called me Alex instead of Alexandra. I told my parents over and over again that I preferred it, but no one cared. It wasn’t distinguished enough. For years I wanted this moment, for him to notice me as a person and not as a doll to be shown around town. I wanted him to see me as Alex the artist, and quit pushing me toward medical school.
A little bit of hope rises in my chest.
“I bet you want to know why I had Dane bring you here today. First of all, I want to say how sorry I am,” he stops, removing his glasses to wipe his fingers over his eyes. Is he crying? “I treated you like you didn’t matter, and you do. Alex, I’ve always been so proud of you, but for some reason it wasn’t enough. I let others influence my opinion of you, when deep in my heart I knew you were the daughter any man would love to have.” He stops again, trying to reach for my hand across the table. I pull back. I’m not ready for that.
“Why did you keep doing it? Why did you keep pushing me?” I feel the moisture pooling in my eyes, but I try to hold it in. I’m so used to not showing emotion in front of my parents, I don’t know how he’ll react to it.
“I guess I was weak. I’m so sorry, Alex. If I could go back and start time over, I would. I would give you back your childhood and make sure you were happy over anything else,” he says, pulling his glasses off again to wipe his eyes on a handkerchief.
I press my lips firmly together and glance toward the counter in an effort to hold back my emotion, but I see Dane, his soft eyes urging me to move forward. This is the moment he never got, and he’s giving it to me.
“Why now? Why are you here?” I ask.
He tries to reach for my hands again, and this time I let him. A tear finally rolls down my cheek; this is the first time my dad has shown me this type of affection. I never in my life imagined this.
“I thought I was sick, Alex. I wasn’t feeling good, so they ran a bunch of tests.” I feel myself crumble. There’s no way to hold the emotion in now. “When you think your days are numbered, your whole life flashes before you. I was living my life worried about what everyone else thought instead of living it how I wanted. I’m so proud of you and what you’ve become. You’re so much stronger than the rest of us.”
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask, glancing toward the register. I need Dane.
“So far everything has come back normal. I’m feeling better, and the doctors have given me a clean bill of health. I’m sorry. No matter what happens, I’ll always regret what I put you through. If I live for one year, I will spend it showing you how sorry I am. If I live for twenty, I will do the same,” he says, his voice cracking more with every word.
I leap out of my chair and wrap my arms around him. His body tenses, but he quickly wraps his arms around my back. Never in a million years did I think I would be sitting across from my dad today, hearing “I’m sorry.”
Never.
I pull back from his tear stained t-shirt. “What about Mom?” I ask nervously. She’s not here, but maybe.
He looks up, avoiding my eyes for the first time since I walked in here today. “She doesn’t share my new outlook on life. I asked for a divorce.”
My eyes go wide. “What?”
“I spent too many years pretending. You get one life, Alex. Just one.” I can’t believe it. Maybe that explains why she was at the Hamptons. She must be staying at Ryan’s family vacation home there.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I say, hesitantly.
He smiles again. He’s a handsome man when he smiles. “You haven’t called me that since you were five.”
You haven’t smiled at me since I was five is on the tip of my tongue, but I hold it in, not wanting to ruin the moment.
Dane returns with our drinks, sitting next to me and placing my hand in his under the table. We continue to talk to my dad and make plans to get together for dinner in the city before school starts back up again. I tell him about my job, and he asks Dane about his art. Everything just feels right.
“We should get going soon. I hate to cut this short, but we need to find a camping spot before it gets dark,” Dane says. He looks at me apologetically. I hate to end this too, but there will be other days.
“You kids can stay with me tonight if you want.”
“No, we’re only sleeping outside for the next four days,” I smile up at Dane.
My Dad laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t say I didn’t offer.”
We say our goodbyes and my dad gives me a hug, which means everything to me. I craved his attention for years, and now I have it, and I feel like another piece of me has been put into place. I have Dane to thank for this one too.
Once we jump back on the bike, I hold Dane tight. Not because I’m scared or nervous, but because I love him and never want to let him go. He’s done so much for me and this just topped all of it. Dane filled a big hole in my heart when I met him, and he continues to patch it up piece by piece. Every day I don’t think it’s possible to love him anymore, but then I do.
My mom may never come around, and I’ve accepted that. Some relationships aren’t meant to be fixed. I’m going to hold onto the people who stand by me every day no matter what they do with their lives. I don’t think she can ever do that.
We drive north until the sun starts to set over the horizon and we’re forced to stop at a small campground somewhere in Massachusetts. It’s quiet, nestled away from the main road and surrounded by trees. A river runs to one side while a park lines the other. It’s the kind of place I’ve seen in family movies, but never really knew existed.
I think this trip is going to be amazing.
Dane slips off the bike and heads over to the small office to pay the nightly fee on the spot we selected. I decide to make myself useful and attempt to set up the tent by myself. I dump all the contents of the bag onto the ground and stand with my hands on my hips, trying to decide which piece to pick up first. I’m completely lost, so I pick up all the poles and decide to sort them by size. This has to be helpful, right?
Dane’s laughter fills the night sky behind me. I smile; it’s been a while since I’ve heard him laugh like that. I’m sure he’s laughing at me, but if this is what I have to do to make it happen, I’ll do it.
Turning to face him, I squint my eyes against the falling sun. He looks gorgeous in his faded blue jeans, grey, chest hugging t-shirt and black motorcycle boots. He walks toward the piles I’ve made and picks up one of the longer poles. “Were you sorting these for me, baby?”
I bite my lip, trying to hold back my laughter. He’s making fun of my tent building skills, and I don’t mind it one bit. I know this is not my calling. “Why don’t I go take a shower while you set up the tent?” I smile, pointing my thumb toward the public showers. It was going to be another first for me.
“Yeah, that’s probably not a bad idea. I’m going to grab one as soon as I’m done,” he replies, wiping the sweat from his forehead. There’s something sexy about a man in work clothes with sweat glistening on his face. I wish there weren’t people around because I would definitely hit the showers with Dane Wright.
I walk away before I get any more visions of our naked bodies under a stream of running water. The showers are lukewarm at best, but it feels good against my hot, sticky skin. This day’s been surreal; I never thought I would be sitting across from my dad laughing in a coffee shop. I think it shows we all have the ability to change and see things differently. I hate that his motivation was the threat of illness, the fear of not seeing another year pass by, but if it got us here it wasn’t for nothing.
I brush my teeth and comb through my damp hair before returning to our campsite. I’m shocked to find Dane sprawled out on a blanket in front of a fire, tent put together behind him. What’s even more shocking is that he’s in fresh clothes and his hair is wet. “Are you done showering already?” I ask, walking to the tent to tuck my bag inside. My eyes widen when I see an air mattress blown up inside. My God, did this guy all of a sudden get super powers?
“Yep, I’ve been lying by this fire for at least five minutes,” he says behind me. I turn back around to see his head resting on his hands, feet crossed at his ankles. He has on black athletic shorts and nothing else. I lick my lips as I watch the fire illuminate his chest. “Are you going to enjoy the fire with me, or are you just going to stand there?” he asks, not even bothering to look back at me. He knows what I’m doing, and it drives me crazy that he has this affect without having to move a finger.
Kneeling behind his head, I move over his face so that my lips are above his. He finally opens his eyes, locking them on my mouth. I want to kiss him, but even more than that, I want to tease him like he’s doing to me right now. “You need to show me how to put the tent together sometime,” I whisper, moving my face a little closer to his.
He tries to move his head up to reach my lips, but I pull up making it difficult. His head falls back on the blanket, and I move so that I’m above him again, shooting him a knowing grin. “Kiss me,” he demands, reaching up to cup my face in his hands.
“Only if you promise to show me how to put the tent up,” I say, leaning in just a little closer. His eyes are burning into mine. If I don’t give him something soon, I’m probably going to get tackled onto my back and kissed until my lips are red and swollen.
He moves to sit up, causing me to adjust my position. “Baby, you already know how to put up a tent,” he says, pointing to the inseam of his shorts. From the looks of things, I’m pretty good at putting up tents.
I laugh as I straddle his hips and run my fingers along his sides. I know he’s ticklish, but that’s the point. It works as he tries to control his own laughter while reaching for my feet. When that doesn’t work, he flips me over and straddles my hips, using his lips instead of his hands to make my body react. They’re everywhere: my neck, lips, the exposed part of my chest.
I close my eyes and listen to the crickets chirping, the crackle of the fire and a few people laughing in the distance. I don’t know if I’ve even been more in touch with my body and the feel of his lips on my skin. The calming, happy sounds match the way my heart feels and the combination sends heat through my chest.
I feel naked and empty when his mouth leaves my body so he can lie at my side and pull me into his arms. His long fingers work their way into my hair as we stare into the night sky identifying constellations. I can’t think of anything more perfect than this.
The air is already warm and humid when I wake up after our first night under the stars. Yesterday went so much better than I thought it would. I hoped that when we met up with Alex’s dad, he would keep his promise to make things better with her, but he did more than that. He apologized and made an effort to have a relationship with her in the future. I could see the hesitancy all over her face when he first started talking, but by the end of the afternoon there was an easiness that I hadn’t seen before. She seemed at peace, like there was hope that all things would be okay.
I don’t know what we’re doing the next few days, but I do know they’re going to be some of the best of my life. Last night, yeah, I can’t even put it into words. No one knows us out here, and there are no distractions getting in our way. I never thought I would be the guy sleeping under the stars with a girl wrapped in my arms, but I’ve changed.
She shuffles in my arms making my whole body very aware of how close she is to me with her body pressed against mine. I grind my hips into her back, eliciting a gasp from her pretty pink lips. “Dane Wright, what do you think you’re doing?” she asks, sleepily.
I want her to wake up, I think, as I move my lips up her arm. I literally feel her body shaking as I work my way up to the spot right below her ear. “I thought I’d get some breakfast before we hit the road,” I say against her neck.