Glow (5 page)

13.

Lucy

Not even back home for a day, and already everything has begun to unravel. I came back to the compound for clarity. Not for eye-opening ideas about a life predestined for me.

I want to make my own choices.

I want to be free in that, if nothing else.

I look up to the sky where a full moon hangs so high it looks so lost.

So alone.

The specks of stars around the luminous sphere are like little whispers, trying to remind the giant orb that it hasn’t been deserted.

But it has.

The stars in the sky are nothing compared to the majesty of the moon. The stars have one another. They can shoot away if they want to be free, but the moon? It’s always separate, always alone in a sea of darkness.

I don’t want to be the light in the night, or the light in the day. I want to be free without the burden of giving myself over to The Light. I don’t want to account for anything or anyone but myself.

I am selfish.

Maybe that’s why I feel so alone.

14.

Charlie

The morning air is crisp; I have my gun slung over my shoulder as I go to get my horse, wanting to find some food to start cooking for breakfast. Thankfully the food Lukas brought from The Light has helped tide us over, but we need more protein. Maybe some people can forage for greens or mushrooms today.

“Hey, boy,” I say, patting his side, but something’s wrong. I mentally account for all the horses, and one is missing. I look around the property, thinking it strange that a horse could untie itself, and that it would then choose to leave. These are solidly loyal animals.

I walk back into the compound, thinking maybe Duke or Colton beat me to waking this morning and are already off looking for game, but nope. The two guys are sprawled out on the couches, snoring loudly, and after all the moonshine they drank last night; I bet they’ll be sleeping for a while yet. Junie and Basil are wrapped in blankets on the floor, falling asleep out here last night, and I can’t imagine the younger girls would have taken a horse.

As I’m literally scratching my head, a door creaks open and out walks Lucy.

She’s radiant, her red hair falling across her shoulders and her emerald eyes alive even in this early morning hour.

“What is it, Charlie?” she asks in a whisper.

“A horse is gone and I don’t think it ran away. I think it was taken.”

“No one could find us out here. And no one would just take one horse, would they?”

“I know, that’s what I thought. But the guys are asleep out here. And Lukas slept in the same room as me.

“Let’s check the other rooms.”

Lucy nudges open the door next to her room and Timid and Hana-Grace are out cold. Their cheeks rosy from deep slumber. I don’t care if it makes me sound like a softy; those girls look precious sleeping there. Lucy clicks the door shut.

“She wouldn’t have? Would she?”

I don’t understand what Lucy means, but as she opens the last door, she reveals an empty bed.

Perfection.

Gone.

“Shit.” I run my hands over my chin, shocked.

“There’s no way she could….” Lucy walks around the bed, looking for a clue or something, as if she doesn’t believe Perfection would leave.

“She was pissed yesterday. She was mad that I put her off … and Lukas told me she did the same to him.”

I see a look flash across Lucy’s face as she remembers last night, how everyone decided to follow Lukas back to The Light, back to the hands of the people I refuse to be a part of. But Perfection wasn’t there for any of that. “And then her outburst during the palm reading.”

“I’ve got to go after her,” I say. It’s obvious. She’ll be left for dead if she isn’t already.

“Don’t….”

“You want me to stay?” I ask. The mood shifts from Perfection, and lands squarely between Lucy and I. Our past. What I want for our future.

“I want you to come back.” She looks into my eyes. I want to read deeper, farther into them, but that’s a foolish thing to do right now. Right now I’ve got to find Perfection.

“I’ll come back, trust me.” I put my hands firmly on her shoulders.

“I don’t trust people, Charlie,” she says, sadly.

“Then I promise you. I promise I will come back.” I lean over and kiss her cheek, even though I want to kiss more, kiss all of her.

But I don’t.

She can decide what happens next.

15.

Lucy

The morning passes quickly. Everyone’s been looking at Lukas with a different sort of reverence. One that annoys me. I liked being the only person who saw Lukas for who he really is. But now everyone sees him as special, important, a gift.

Maybe this was all a mistake.

Before I left Lukas, before I jumped off the ledge, I thought everything was always going to make sense because I was doing it all with Lukas, the person I professed to love
.
But he doesn’t feel like the person I am in love with right now. He feels distant.

I don’t like the idea of his light changing color when he’s stressed. Even the fact that he can make fire, as awe inducing as it is, is terrifying. There are parts of Lukas I don’t know, don’t understand. Like the fact that when he loses his light, I am the only one who can save him.

It’s a lot of pressure and takes away all my choices.

“Want to look for mushrooms?” Junie asks. “We need some more food and Colton says he saw some when he was out hunting this morning.”

“Can I come?” Timid asks.

“Of course, sweet pea. You coming, Lucy?”

“I’m going to stay in here. I just….”

“No need to explain. There’s been a lot going on.”

“Do you think Charlie is going to find Perfection?” Timid asks me.

“I do. Charlie knows this land better than anyone else.”

“We could all go, you know, Lucy. We could all just go to The Light. That’s where she’s going,” Timid says, taking Junie’s hand.

“I know, but I’m not ready.” I turn away from them, see them cast glances at one another out of the corner of my eye. I feel this huge divide. It’s crazy how things change, and how fast. Just days ago Timid was hand in hand with me, leaving The Light. And now it’s the only thing anyone wants to run back to.

Everyone is so quick to forget, and walk right back into the belly of the beast.
They killed my mother.
I don’t want to be near any of those Councilmen, or Humblemen. The idea makes me gag.

I watch them leave to forage in the woods, wishing knowing what to do about Lukas and The Light was as simple as going out and looking.

16.

Lukas

She stands at the edge of the ash, where the tree once stood. Green light pours from her arms, the ground she stands on radiates. She radiates.

“Lucy,” I say, knowing in my gut I came at our situation all wrong last night. Telling her of our destiny, our future. She wasn’t ready or willing to hear it, but maybe now she is.

“What is it?” she asks, not turning to look at me, instead staring at the flecks of charred wood on the ground.

“I want to talk about last night. I get the impression you’re scared to talk to me, or even be next to me. If it’s about Perfection--”

“It is not about Perfection,” Lucy says sharply, cutting me off.

“Then what is it?”

She turns, and holds out her hands. A gesture I wasn’t expecting, but I take them in mine, and our cocoon returns. A place that feels safe to speak in. A place I never want to leave.

“Lukas, choosing to go back to The Light would feel as though I condoned what they did to my mother. What they did to my friends. I can’t support them.”

“Integrity gave me his journal. It has all these notes, about The Light, about you--”

She holds her hand up, stopping me. “What did he say about me?”

“He told me he knew about you, about your light….”

“Did you stop for a moment and think about the possibility that he’s playing you? Of course he wants us both there.”

I lace my fingers through hers, and pull her closer. I want her to remember what she and I are capable of, what our love can do.

“Of course there’s that possibility, but I choose to believe that there was a reason for all of this. For us.” I take comfort in the fact she doesn’t pull away.

“I don’t know if I choose the same thing,” she whispers back, crushing me with the syllables. She pulls back and searches my eyes. “Integrity knew what would happen if we kissed. He had to have, or he’d never have told Timid to come up the stairs to find us on the ledge. If he knew that, what else does he know?”

I hear what she says, but Integrity was so convincing, so helpful. Care and him packed the car for us, helped us escape. Someone on the Council’s side would never have done that.

“I don’t know, Lucy, but we have to make a plan. If Perfection made it back to the Refuge, they’re going to be coming soon. I can’t let that happen to you.”

“But what about you? I can’t let that happen to you, either.”

“You mean that? I thought maybe you wanted Charles….”

“I don’t want either of you, not now. Not like that. But I
do
want both of you safe. Why can’t that be enough for you?” She shakes her head and steps back, releasing her hands from mine. Our color-wrapped nest disappears.

“It’s not enough because I know you’re special, you’re meant to be my mate. I want to do this next part with you.”

“I’m not ready to forfeit my life, Lukas. Not for something I don’t believe in.”

“I thought you believed in me.”

“I thought I did too.” She steps away, and runs to the house, not looking back.

17.

Charlie

The morning started off rocky with Perfection leaving, but soon enough I’m on the road to find her, with little besides a pack of food and water, my gun, and myself. Just the way I like it.

At least before I met Lucy.

Now I’d like her beside me on a horse, the two of us headed somewhere far away, the ocean maybe. Not after the pompous princess who is, or at least was, my brother’s teenage bride. Not that she isn’t beautiful to look at. And sure, she had some redeeming qualities when we were kids, but God, spending the past six years vying for my brother’s heart has diminished her beauty. Not to mention her depth. 

But here I am, on the road searching for her. I swear to God if she ran off and got herself killed I’m going to chalk one more death up to my parents’ tally. This wouldn’t even be happening if they had allowed the Cowboy Coalition to infiltrate The Light years ago like everyone wanted. Instead, they decided we needed to wait. They decided discovering an energy source on our own was a better plan.

What’s the old saying though?
Pride comes before the fall.

Exactly.

Lucy’s compound is only a few hours from the campsite we made at the bridge. I suppose someone paying fairly close attention would memorize the route. We rode along the highway the entire time until we got to the dirt path the compound is located on. And since Perfection managed to clear the trickiest part, all she has to do is follow the road to the bridge and she’ll make it back to The Light by this afternoon, or sooner depending on when she left.

Once the bridge is in view I start getting nervous. I don’t want to ride over the bridge only to be held captive by some Humblemen and forced to bring them to Lukas and Lucy. Not that I’d give them up willingly, but still … I don’t want to be put in a position where I have to choose.

Shit.

I wanted to find her struggling by the side of the road, desperate for help. If she made it back to the Refuge that means she’ll tell them where we are. Which means we won’t have much time.

I stop to let Lucky drink some water and rest after riding hard all day. Leaning on a broken log, I work to catch my breath, annoyed that Perfection was able to get away so easily on her own.

Maybe Perfection made it across the bridge, and then took a break, feeling like she was in a safety zone. I should try and find out, because the last thing I want is some nagging doubt that I could have tried harder to get Perfection back, even if she is an annoying girl from my past.

I jump back on Lucky, determined to cross the bridge and do my absolute best to find her before returning to the compound.

As I begin to cross, heavy grey clouds hover in the sky. Blowing air from my cheeks, I urge the rain to stay away. But sprinkles start to fall, immediately causing Lucky to veer to the left, then the right, in an attempt to avoid the inevitable drops across his face.

“Easy, boy,” I say, pulling the reins tight. As I do, I realize it isn’t the rain that’s making him nervous … it’s the pack of Humblemen on the other side of the bridge, waiting for me to come close to their threshold.

They stand, twenty men across the large bridge. Crap. Perfection informed them quickly, or they were already maintaining their perimeter, just waiting for Lukas to come crawling back, like Integrity wants. 

I swing my gun forward, not wanting to shoot at them, but wanting to be prepared. I have no way of knowing if they have some sort of Lukas’s energy harnessed to them, and not having a clue what their plans are. What that extra strength could mean for them. And mean for me.

They are still about a hundred yards from me, too far to shoot if that became necessary and too close for me to feel safe riding toward their line of defense.

I turn Lucky around again, and just as I do, I see another group of men coming towards me from the other side of the bridge. Shit. What’s going on here?

Breathe, Charlie. Breathe.

I’m in no mood to fight off men on my own. A half dozen, sure. But this? This is beginning to look like a full-on war. With the rain pelting down, I can’t make out who’s charging toward me on horses.

A voice calls out, but I can’t make out the words. Trying not to panic, I hear the men from The Light shouting too. Their words aren’t clear either, but the riders are coming closer into view, and fast. There’s no way I can get out of this, unless I plummet to my death by jumping off this bridge.

This is not the way I wanted to die.