Glow (20 page)

“There you go again. Jesus, Vanessa.” he sighed. “Ben is a good guy! Do you
think I would be wasting my breath with all of your damn drama if I didn't
think so? I have known for a long ass time how he has felt about you because
we kept in contact all of these years. Every time I talked to the sappy bastard;
How is your sister? What's your sister been up to? I'm not an idiot, Nessy,”

“He asked about me all the time?” Not that I didn't already know that, Maria
told me he did. I guess it was better hearing it from my brother.

“Yes, all the time. He used to stalk your Facebook page too, but he doesn't
know I know that so don't say anything.” he sighed. “So, quit being a nut
cracker and go talk to him. He is seriously upset. I have never seen him like
this,”

“I was really mean, Ethan,” The doorbell cut me off. “Maria's here, I have to
go,”

 

“Do you love him, Nessy?” he asked completely ignoring me.

 

“I- uh,” I opened the door to see Maria still half drunk and half asleep with
her hair sticking up everywhere out of her ponytail, bags under her eyes.

 

“Is that, Ben?” her eyes were open wide now. I scrunched my nose as her
breath was loaded with the aroma of wine.

 

I shook my head and whispered, “Ethan.”

 

She nodded walking in past me. I took a seat next to her on the couch.

“Do. You. Love. Him?” he asked again slowly, only this time he yelled it.
I looked over at maria who's eyes told me that she too was waiting for my
answer.

“I-um,” I closed my eyes feeling my heart starting to race, my stomach was
full of butterflies, and my palms were sweating. I shook my hands quickly.

 

“I-” I took a deep breath and held it. I do, I love him.

 

I love Ben McGurthy! I love him!

 

“Vanessa?” Ethan was waiting.

 

“Okay! Okay, yes!” I took another deep breath in. “I love him!” I cried, my
hands still flailing.

 

Ethan laughed. “Ha! That's what I'm talkin' bout! Go get him, Nessy!”

 

“Go!” Maria said from next to me, nudging me with her elbow.

 

“I'm scared,” I said into the phone and to Maria as I breathed deeply trying to
catch my breath.

 

“Just go, I'm hanging up now,” Ethan laughed. “Love you,”

 

“Love you,” I hung up.

 

“Don't sit here anymore, just go for crying out loud!” Maria grabbed my arm
pulling me off of the couch.

“Okay, okay, okay,” I said nervously as I grabbed my purse and car keys. I
went running out the door towards my car. I jumped in, turned the key and
off-a-squealing I went down the driveway.

I could barely breath as I drove down the street towards Ben's house. I was
about to do something that I had never dreamed in a million years I would
ever do.

I, Vanessa Montello, am going to confess to Benjamin McGurthy that I love
him. I love him! I smiled.

 

Ben's POV

I walked up the walkway to my house, my feet were dragging with every
step. I was tired... so damn tired. I had driven around for awhile after calling
Ethan. I told him how I felt, what I had done to get close to Vanessa again.
All he could do was laugh and tell me he already knew. Apparently he had
known for awhile how I felt about his sister. After I told him what happened
tonight he hung up on me and I knew he was calling Vanessa. It didn't matter
though as Vanessa will feel the way she does and I can't change it. No one
can. There was still a part of me that felt a little twinge of hope that Ethan
could help her understand that I would never do anything to hurt her.

I unlocked my door and walk in to a nearly naked Belinda lying across my
couch in her white bra and panties. Most guys would have been excited to see
someone like her half naked; I was disgusted.

“Hey, stranger. About time you came back home,” she purred running her
fingertips up her thigh.

“Why are you still in my house?” I whined. “You need to leave, right now,” I
sighed helping her up. I leaned over and picked up her clothes. I set them in
her arms.

“You don't want me?” Belinda frowned. Is she finally getting it?

“Belinda, you are beautiful, and...” I thought about it for a second. “You're
beautiful.” I said again at a loss for words. Other than being hot as hell, she
had no other qualities. Sad, I know.

“Well, then what's the problem?” she ran her hands up my chest.

 

I grabbed them. “I'm going to be honest and tell you that I am in love with
someone else. This... us, it just doesn't feel right,” I shrugged. “I'm sorry,”

 

“Oh,” she looked down at her feet.

 

“I'm really sorry,” I held my hand out. “Friends?”

 

She looked up at me and smiled completely ignoring my hand. “Friends,” she
wrapped her arms around my waist then squeezed me tightly against her.

 

I squeezed her back. “I'm glad you understand,”

 

“Mm, friends with benefits,” she giggled.

 

Friends with benefits? “What? No, no, no...”

 

“I like it,” she jumped on me, pressing her lips hard against mine.
“No,” I said against her lips trying to unwrap her legs from around my waist.

 

“Belinda,” I drew my head back and pried her off of me. “Get out,”

 

I had her by the elbow showing her to the door. She was still half naked but I
truly didn't care. I just wanted Belinda out of my house.

 

Talk about horrible timing... I opened my door at the same time Vanessa was
walking up my walkway with a gleaming smile spread across her lips.

“Vanessa,” I muttered completely shocked as she was the last person I would
expect to be at my door. I felt my heart ache as Vanessa's smile went from
the Cheshire Cat, to well... a child who dropped their ice cream cone at the
county fair.

“Oh my God,” she gasped.

“This isn't what it looks like,” This isn't what it look like?! Nice, Ben... real
nice. I took another step away from Belinda in her bra and panties. This
looked bad... it looked really, really bad. I groaned internally.

“You dick!” Vanessa yelled.

“I'm so leaving,” Belinda grabbed her clothes and ran down the walkway
towards the drive. Why was it she would constantly stick around and I could
never get the girl to leave, but now she bounced like she just got caught
messing around with someone's man. Ironic isn't it?

“Are you serious right now, Benjamin?” I saw her bottom lip begin to quiver.

 

“She jumped on me I swear to God, Vanessa.” I took a step forward.

“She was half naked in your house, Ben. I am sorry but I highly doubt what
was happening in there was an accident,” she cried. “I mean, what? Did she
slip and fall onto your-your...thing?” she stuttered gesturing to the crotch of
my jeans.
“Nothing happened, I tried to get rid of her earlier but apparently she didn't
leave. Please believe me, I am telling you the truth,” I begged.

Vanessa took a deep breath to try and push her tears down. “My life was easy
and simple; it was me, myself, and I. Then you come along and my entire life
completely turns upside down. You showed me a world that I have been
completely ignorant to. I have been so overwhelmed, but, Ben, I thank you
for that. I do,”

“Can we go inside and talk? Please?” I offered sadly.

 

Vanessa completely ignored me then continued as calmly as she could.

“You know, I was coming over here to let you know that I'm not entirely sure
how I feel about everything, but I do know that I love you. At least I do know
what that feels like.” she turned towards the driveway as she couldn't
suppress her tears any longer.

“Tonight proved to me what I already knew. You are a player, and you will
never change. We are just friends,” Vanessa placed her hand over her mouth
trying to mask a sob as she walked away quickly down my walkway.

“Vanessa, stop,” I jogged to her car. I placed my hand on her car door so she
couldn't leave. “Please let me explain,”

“Forget tonight ever happened,” she sniffed as she grabbed the door handle
and pulled. I took my hand off of the drivers side door frame and let her go.
I stood there watching her wrecked Mercedes leave my driveway.

“Goodbye, Nessy.” I whispered as I watched her tail lights disappear down
my street.

I couldn't keep hurting her. She was right when she said her life was fine
before I came barging into it. Vanessa didn't ask for any of this, I pushed all
of this on her and I am the only one who could fix it.
Right then I had made up my mind as I stood on my driveway staring at a
dark empty street. I would leave Vanessa alone, and while I let Vanessa go
on with the life she had... I will go back to Chicago.

Chapter Eleven: Lost and Found
Vanessa's POV

I pulled into my driveway and stayed there hysterically crying. I have never
felt this way about someone before Ben. I was hurting inside and I just
wanted it to go away. This is exactly why I had shut myself out all of these
years from men and their garbage.

That day at Union Square, yes, I saw people happy. But I'm not... my heart
was just ripped out from my chest the second I saw a half naked model
leaving Ben's house. He had said that it looked bad but it was nothing I
thought it was. I really don't care what the situation was, Ben and I are
friends. Nothing more.

Knock, knock...
on my drivers side window. I saw Maria standing there with a
sad look upon her face. She tried to open my locked door. I looked at her and
started crying harder.

“Vanessa, open the door.” she jiggled the handle again.

 

I pressed the button and the door swung open. Maria knelt down and wrapped
me in her arms.

 

“What happened?” she asked sullenly rubbing my back comfortingly.

 

“I went to tell him, and I was so nervous,” I sobbed. “I was almost to his
door when it opened and out came some gorgeous half naked chic,” I cried.

 

“What?” she pulled back to look at me. “No,”

 

“I swear! He was walking her outside,” I wiped under my nose with my
sweatshirt.

 

“Son of a bitch!” she said angrily. “What did he say about it?”

 

“He said that it wasn't what it looks like,” I huffed.

 

“I'm going to kick his ass! Let's go, come on.” she helped me out of the car
and into the house as I cried.

She didn't pry for any other details as we lay on the couch watching a movie.
I had fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the film still crying. Thank,
God for that as I can't handle the way I am feeling inside and I can't make it
go away. Is this truly what a broken heart feels like?

I awoke to Maria freaking out stomping back and fourth as she paced my
living room.

 

“Of course!” she laughed aloud.

“Maria, what are you doing?” I mumbled as I blinked my eyes open. She was
standing there with a huge grin spread across her face; her brown curls still a
crazy, raged mess full of sleep.

“Oh my God, I was drunk last night so of course I forgot about that chic!”
she said excitedly.

 

“What are you talking about?” I groaned as I sat up.

“Vanessa,” she sat down next to me. “Last night when I called him to let him
know douche bag Jordan was taking you to Swingers, I heard a girl pounding
on the door begging to be let in his house,”

“Great, okay. You make me feel so much better,” I sighed placing one of my
throw pillows on my lap.

“No, listen to me.” she rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Apparently he
didn't want the girl in his house! When I told him where you were he
obviously left her there. He came home with you, told you how he felt and
then she must have been 'waiting for him' when he got home,” she laughed.

“Yes! I am so good!” she snapped.

 

I stood up a little excited but frustrated at the same time. “Maria, you should
have told me this last night!” I whined.

 

“I know, but you are the one who kept pouring Pinot down my throat,”

 

“Well, you didn't object!” I retorted angrily.

 

“It doesn't matter. You know now,” Maria sighed as she sat back on the
couch.

“It does matter that last night was horrible for both Ben and I. Deciding to
just be friends is the best thing for both of us. I don't care what happened, or
who that nasty trash was because I'm not doing this anymore regardless what
anyone else says. I would rather move on and forget about it.” With that
being said I walked into my room to take a long hot bath... but not before I
cried a little bit more.

Two days later...

I'd been working a lot on my article for Ellen. To help keep my mind off of
Ben, and to stop my blubbering. I had spent the last two days here at my
office. I pretty much typed until I fell asleep at my desk, and hit up the rack
of clothes in wardrobe for the photo shoots before anyone got here so it can
seem as though I have been going home. I refused to let Maria see how this
whole situation had gotten to me.

I was typing away at my computer when my door opens.
“Yes,” I sighed not taking my eyes off of my screen.

 

“Someone has an admirer,” Maria giggled.

 

Admirer? I looked up to see a huge bouquet of red roses in a crystal vase
covering the upper half of her body.

 

“Oh my God,” I whispered as I stood up and grabbed them from her. We
both stood there just staring at them then, at one another.

 

“Who do you think they are from?” I asked quietly.

 

“I don't know,” she shrugged. “Do you think they could be from, you know...
him?”

 

“Ben?” I looked at her knowingly. “No, I highly doubt that,”

 

“There's a card,” she reached her long arm into the middle of the roses. “Read
it,”

I slowly took the envelope from her. Holding it in my hands I stared at my
name written nicely on the front. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath
before digging my finger under the seal ripping it open.

Vanessa,
Just a little something beautiful for someone so beautiful.
Dr. Chase Roberts.

I gasped.