Go Deep (2 page)

Chapter Two

Outside, a world of white whizzed past the window of the
Subaru Forester. Beth felt vaguely hypnotized by the steady parade of snowy
spruce trees and the occasional bridge over a frozen river. A half-empty bag of
potato chips and a heavy silence lay between her and Gavin. God, had they run out
of things to talk about after only two and a half years?

She took another chip. In the quiet, her crunching sounded
rudely loud. “Sorry,” she murmured.

Gavin glanced at her briefly. “For what?”

“Noisy potato chip.”

After a moment, he snorted. “Have you forgotten I’m a
part-time coach of a bunch of rowdy twenty-year-olds? Nothing less than a
stadium full of screaming fans qualifies as noisy. Imagine the decibel level
inside that van right now.”

Beth glanced in the side view mirror at the white Ford van
that trailed behind them. What were all the young studs doing? Her memories of
road trips on the way to camp didn’t help much. Were they rocking out to Spice
Girls, playing cards, writing poetry in their journals? Rocking out, sure.
Whenever the van got close, they heard the beat of the bass line.

A brief vision flashed before her.
Naked hockey players,
pumping their hips to the beat of the Rolling Stones. And her, right in the
middle of them, nude and gyrating.

What was wrong with her? Shaking off the image, she thrust
her hand into the potato chip bag. Warm flesh surprised her—Gavin’s hand. She
snatched hers away.

“Sorry.”

“Beth, you have to stop that. You’ve apologized twice in the
last five minutes. And you haven’t done anything worth an apology.”

Sorry
, she wanted to say, stopping herself just in
time. “My mother always said apologies were the oil of polite conversation.
They keep things running smoothly.”

That silenced Gavin. Any mention of her mother tended to do
that. Her mother had always been good at silencing other people, especially her
daughter. Apparently death hadn’t diminished her powers.

“I booked us into the same lodge where the players are
staying. Hope that’s okay,” Gavin said.

“Well, sure, why wouldn’t it be?” She could think of one
reason. The distracting presence of young male bodies.

“They’re a rambunctious crew, those Renegades. I can make
them go to sleep early the night before the game, but after the game all bets
are off. We might have to go have our own party that night.” He slanted her a
teasing look.

“I vote for that. Maybe a nice dinner somewhere, just the
two of us.”

“You, me, a bottle of red wine. It’s a date.”

She pictured it, the two of them at a quiet corner table,
sharing a bottle of red wine. After the wine, they’d go back to their room and
launch into their usual routine. She’d change into her nightgown, he’d undress.
By the time she got into bed, he’d already be there, naked. She’d turn out the
light. They’d caress each other and she’d let him pull off her nightgown. He’d lick
her nipples, which felt lovely. She’d stroke his arousal in the way she knew he
liked. He’d finger her until she turned liquid and shivery. He always made sure
she orgasmed. Never once had she faked it, as she had with her one previous
boyfriend. He’d mount her and thrust until he came. Then she’d put her
nightgown back on.

Her mother had never permitted her to sleep naked, and the
first time she’d gone to bed with Gavin, she’d been shocked.

“How else are we supposed to make love?” he’d asked
quizzically.

“Well, during sex, that’s different. But shouldn’t you put
your clothes on afterwards?”

“I like sleeping naked. I like walking around naked. Ever
been in a men’s locker room?”

“Of course not!”

“Everyone’s naked there. I’m used to it. It feels good. You
should try it sometime.”

“My mother would kill me.”

He’d rolled her over and pinned her arms over her head.
“Let’s keep your mother out of our bedroom, if you don’t mind.” His black eyes
had bored into her with near-physical force.

At this show of command, her mouth had gone dry. She’d
nodded quickly. Then, shocked at how easily she’d given in to him, pushed him
away. He’d rolled off her and said nothing for a few moments.

“Sorry,” he’d whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

She didn’t explain that his words hadn’t upset her. Her own
response had. A wild urge to do something—submit, surrender, splay herself
open, turn herself inside out—had surged within her. Curled up at the edge of
the bed, she’d beaten it back until her heartbeat had returned to normal and
the crazed heat in her body had subsided.

That shameful part of her, the part her mother despised, had
nearly betrayed her.

To this day, Gavin stubbornly slept naked but Beth always
wore one of her high-necked, filmy nightgowns from Laura Ashley.

Did they have a good sex life? Some people, she’d read,
never had an orgasm. So she should count herself lucky and ignore that little
voice inside her that longed for something more. Something deeper.

“Or we could do something different.”

Gavin’s statement startled her—as if he’d read her thoughts.
“What do you mean?”

“Our own after-game celebration. We ought to do something
new, don’t you think?”

“Sure, I guess. I’m not sure what there is to do in Wild.”

She could have sworn Gavin muffled a laugh, but when she looked
at him, his expression was all bland innocence.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing. I swear.”

Beth eyed his rugged profile. Strong jaw, twice-broken nose,
eyes as deep and dark as a cave at midnight. He steered the car with two
fingers, with that casual, completely physical confidence he brought to
everything he did. The other hand rested on his thigh. He wore the rusty-brown,
nubby wool sweater she’d gotten him for Christmas. He carried his good looks as
if they were a coat he didn’t care about anymore. She’d never known anyone so
solid in their own skin. So different from her, quiet, absentminded Beth who
avoided thinking about her own body whenever possible.

He glanced at the rearview mirror. “They’re flashing their
lights. That either means full bladders or empty bellies. Or both. I think
there’s a diner a few miles up the road.”

“Good. I fall into the full bladder category.”

“Bathroom break, coming up.”

The Bird’s Eye Diner was perched next to a frozen lake with
a view of steep snowy crevasses. The bored waitress barely noticed Beth walk
in, but she perked up at the sight of a dozen muscular guys bursting out of the
van. Beth didn’t blame her. The Renegades were a sight to behold.

Beth took her time in the bathroom. The thought of facing
her husband’s entire hockey team always made her shy. What did they think of
her? Did they see her as the uptight “boss’s wife”? Did they ever notice her in
a sexual way? She was only a few years older than they were, late twenties to
their early twenties.

Older women were supposed to be sexy, right? She fluffed her
hair with her fingers. Fine and silky, it refused to do anything but drape
itself over her shoulders. Since those shoulders were covered with a green
fleece zip-up jacket, the chances of looking sexy didn’t seem high. But at
least the jacket gave her eyes a brighter shade of green. And it hugged her
bosom in a way she liked.

Her mother would have disapproved.

Rebellion made her unzip the jacket to reveal the top of her
cream-colored shirt. Why must her mother still dictate to her? There was
nothing wrong with playing the part of the coach’s attractive wife. Nothing at
all.

As she left the bathroom, she added an extra sway to her
stride. Three of the players were waiting their turn for the men’s room. She
kept her head high and offered them a bright smile. They all jumped to
attention with big grins. “Feel free to use the ladies’ room, guys. I won’t
tell.”

“You rock, Mrs. Coach,” said the cute brown-haired one.

“Her name’s not Mrs. Coach,” hissed his buddy.

“I know that.”

“It’s Beth, right?” The third player looked at her boldly,
in a way that made her wonder if she’d unzipped her fleece a little too far.

“That’s right. Beth Thomason.”

“Do you mind if we call you Mrs. Coach?” The cute one smiled
winningly at her. “We’ve kind of got into the habit.”

“Fine.” Beth kept her smile fixed on her face as she made
her way to the table where Gavin waited. The players had a nickname for her?
They had a habit of referring to her in a certain way? Her mind reeled at the
thought of her being discussed…where…in the locker room? When they were all
naked?

Gavin sensed something different about Beth when she slid
into the chair opposite him. For one thing, the sweet upper curve of her
breasts peeked above her top. He could have sworn that jacket was zipped to the
top when they’d been in the car. He always knew every detail of her physical
appearance. They often provided his only clues to her state of mind.

“Feel better?” He had to raise his voice over the low roar
of male chatter.

“Much. Did you order us anything?”

Yes, something was definitely different. She looked…jazzed.
Alert instead of half asleep.

“The waitress has been a little busy,” he answered. “A bunch
of hungry guys who haven’t set eyes on a woman in hours.”

“What do you call me?” She gave a mock pout.

Her flirtatious tone surprised him. “I call you a gorgeous
woman who’s been trapped inside the car with me. Where you belong,” he added,
roughening his voice.

Her eyes darkened. Then she looked away. “Is there a menu?”

Changing the subject. Good sign. With every bone in his
body—including the one rising between his legs—he knew this trip was just what
they needed.

The waitress reached their table. “Whew! Thought I’d never
make it to you guys.”

“I apologize for my players.” Gavin winked at her. “When it
comes to food, they’re insatiable. Women bringing them food? Forget about it.”

The waitress, who wore a pink fuzzy sweater and had her hair
pinned up in a feathery twist, giggled. “I know all about hockey players. My
brother plays left forward for the Anchorage Aces.”

An actual NHL-associated team. A different world, as far as
the Renegades were concerned. “Good team. Where’d he learn to play?”

“We’re from Wild. Sometimes he still plays for the Nasties,
when he’s home visiting.”

“Hey, that’s who we’re playing this weekend,” Beth
interjected.

The girl turned big, purple-shadowed eyes on her. Her
eyelashes glittered with some kind of powder. “You guys are heading to Wild?”

“Yes.” Gavin winced. He wanted to be the one to explain Wild
Nights, not a random waitress. An immediate change of subject was required. “Do
your burgers come with fries?”

“Yeah, it says right there. Choice of fries or coleslaw. Any
of the guys going to the bachelor auction?”

Beth’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“The Wild Bachelor Auction. It gets pretty crazy. These guys
would love it.”

“We’re going to play a hockey game, that’s it. I’ll have the
mushroom burger with fries and a hot coffee. The blacker the better. Beth?”

Beth seemed to be fixated on the waitress. “I’ve never been
to a bachelor auction. What’s it like?”

The waitress shrugged. “I don’t know what normal ones are
like. I’ve only been to Wild’s.”

“What do you mean, normal ones?”

Gavin made one last-ditch effort. “Beth, what would you like
to eat? The poor girl has a lot of orders to deliver.”

“Greek salad’s fine. And one of those giant chocolate chip
cookies. I’m still curious though. What’s different about Wild’s bachelor
party?”

The girl gave her a look drenched in wonder at her
cluelessness. “It’s during Wild Nights. So, like, everything’s different. I’d
better get these orders back to the kitchen. Did you want anything to drink,
ma’am?”

“Coffee for me too. Cream and sugar.”

“Coming up.”

Gavin felt Beth’s confused gaze on him as he closed the menu
and inserted it back into the wire holder.

“What the jeepers is she talking about?”

Damn it. When Beth went so far as to use the word “jeepers”,
which was the closest thing to a swear word her mother had allowed, she meant
business.

“I don’t know anything about a bachelor auction.” That much
was true.

“What’s this Wild Nights thing?”

“Wild Nights?” Darren, the goalie, stood next to their
table, hands in his back jeans pockets. “You haven’t heard of it?”

“She doesn’t need you to explain it.” Gavin shot him a harsh
stare, but Darren just grinned. Damn goalie was too full of himself.

“Who better? I’ve been there five times. Maybe six, but they
blend together, know what I mean?”

“We don’t care to know what you mean.”

“Speak for yourself.” Beth’s new, unzipped mood also seemed
to make her feistier. “I want to know all about Wild Nights.”

“It’s pretty simple, really.” Darren placed his hands on the
table and leaned toward Beth. Gavin could have socked him. “During Wild Nights,
there’s only one rule. It’s not written down or anything. But everyone knows
it. Can you guess what it is?”