Goddesses Don't Get Sick (15 page)

FORTY.

“YOU…WHAT?”
Jason stared at her as if he hadn’t heard her right. Angela held up the white stick, the end displaying a small window marked with the blue cross that was universal in its meaning.

Moving slowly across the room, Jason took the test from her and stared at it, brow creased in thought.

“I thought you were on the pill?” He asked eventually, eyes still focused on the stick. Angela shrugged limply.

“I am…maybe I missed a day with the time difference or…I don’t know.” She watched him nervously as she waited for a response, paranoid and afraid of the possible reactions.

We never talked about kids, never planned it, never even
thought
about it…

When Jason finally turned his eyes back to her, Angela was slightly surprised to see them shining with tears.

“Thank you,” he said, pulling her into a tight hug.

…Huh?

“Oh Angela, thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!” Jason was laughing now through his tears, beginning to babble. “I’ve wanted so much to have children with you, but I didn’t know if you wanted to, and I wasn’t sure if it was too early to bring it up, and— oh Angela, I love you so much!” Jason hugged his wife again tightly, continuing to cry happily.

Angela could only hold Jason as he clutched to her, mind in complete and utter disarray. Her husband was acting as if he had just won the lottery—of all the reactions Angela had played out in her mind, she hadn’t considered the possibility that this was what Jason actually wanted.

But how can this be?
Angela wondered.
Have I forgotten a day of my pill?

(
You know how it’s possible
)

No, I don’t. Unless…is
that
possible?

Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts, Angela found she could only smile dazedly as her husband began rushing around the room.

“We’ve got to go home, and get you to a doctor, and tell my family, and–” Jason stopped suddenly and turned back to Angela, a small frown forming on his face.

“Babe, this…you’re happy too, right?” Jason moved to sit next to Angela and took her hand gently. “I mean, do you want this?”

“It’s…a shock,” Angela admitted slowly. “But…well, I mean, I don’t want to abort or anything.” She smiled nervously at Jason. “I guess I just didn’t even expect this, you know? It explains why I’ve been feeling so lousy lately, though.”

“Yeah,” Jason tried to keep the look of concern on his face, even though Angela could clearly see the joy dancing in his eyes. “We really should get home as soon as we can and get you to a doctor, just to be sure…do you mind?”

“No,” Angela sighed a little, but shook her head. “If the way I’m feeling right now is any indicator, I should probably see if there’s anything I should know about. That and…well,” Angela grinned wryly, “my memories of this trip are getting worse with my condition.”

Jason nodded sympathetically, before he pulled Angela into another tight hug.

“I’ve got to call Mom and Dad!” He bounced up from the bed and went to hunt through his bag for his cellphone. Finding it, he dialed the number for his parents’ home, hopping from one foot to the other impatiently as he waited for them to pick up.

“Hello, Mom? We’ve got great news.”

As Angela heard the screams of joy vibrating through the phone, loud enough to make Jason wince and hold the phone away from his ear, she picked up the test and curled up around it on the bed, her free hand clutching at the feather around her neck.

I’m going to be a mother? I wonder if it’s a boy, or a girl…

(
Or something else?
)

Bypassing Germany altogether, the couple flew back home the next day to find their new house tidied and ordered for their arrival; so clean and new that it felt too surreal for Angela to call Home. Even before they had recovered from their jet lag Jason made an appointment with a doctor within the week, and before she knew it Angela had received confirmation that yes, she was indeed pregnant. And from the looks of it, the child had been conceived the same week of their wedding.

While Jason sat in the doctor’s room with a huge grin on his face, Angela was then interrogated on her family’s medical history. Does she have any siblings? Does she know if anyone on her mother’s side of family experienced problems with pregnancies? Any history of twins or deformities?

Each time Angela shook her head, before she presented her arm for a pressure and blood test, all the time struggling with her queasy stomach.

“Is this…normal?” Angela eventually asked as the doctor was drawing her blood, head turned away from the grisly sight.

“It is strange, that you’ve started experiencing symptoms so soon into the pregnancy,” Doctor Harris—a pretty blonde woman who would have looked more at home on a catwalk—said as she finished drawing the blood, before returning to her desk and labeling the vial.

Done with that, she once more read over the notes she’d been taking during the consultation. “Having said that, it is not entirely uncommon. It just may mean that this will be a difficult one for you. While I know it is early, I advise you to consider taking an extended leave from work, and soon. The last thing you need right now is extra stress, I think.”

She smiled gently at the couple, seeing the nervousness in Angela’s eyes. “It could just be that this is your first. First pregnancies are often the hardest for every woman. It will get easier, if you choose to have more children after this, but I do advise that you avoid stress as much as possible.”

She turned her attention to Jason. “This means you have to be willing to listen to her,” Doctor Harris said sternly. “Don’t take things too personally if Angela reacts differently to things now than she did before, she has an entirely new set of hormones running her body at the moment.”

Jason nodded along readily, but both the women in the room wondered if he was really hearing what the doctor had to say.

Time will tell
, Doctor Harris eventually decided, before she nodded again at Angela.

“Well, I think that’s all we need to go through for now. Make an appointment with the receptionist, and I’ll see you in a month’s time.” The doctor gave her most reassuring smile as she stood up from her desk and walked them to the door.

Patricia Harris’ mind briefly paused on the fact that Angela didn’t seem nearly as excited about her situation as Jason did. She had seen a lot of newlyweds in her time facing a honeymoon pregnancy, but there was something about the look in Angela’s eyes that seemed to be almost a kind of fear. Dismissing it as nerves, Doctor Harris closed the door after Jason and Angela, and promptly forgot all about them as she turned her attention to her file for the next patient.

Mr. Barton was just as thrilled with the news as Jason’s family had been, and told Angela to take as much time as she needed.

“We’ll hold your job for as long as you wish, Angela,” he said over the phone, a smile in his voice. “I have to admit, I’d hoped we would have gotten a little more time out of you before something like this would happen, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to give you up completely without a fight.”

Promising him that she would return as soon as possible, Angela hung up the phone and shifted on the bed with a sigh, wondering at her bad luck; to be practically bedridden when she wasn’t even a month into a pregnancy yet.

(
You know why
)

That damned voice in her mind was whispering again, but Angela pushed it back, refusing to look at it as she felt her stomach once more protest over nothing.

Eight and a half months to go…

FORTY-ONE.

CONTRARY TO ALL OF THE RUMORS
she had been told, the first trimester did not fly by for Angela. The time crawled so slowly, in fact, that she was almost convinced that it was starting to go backwards. By the third month, although her stomach was still flat, Angela looked and felt years older than she was. The morning sickness refused to go away, and if anything had gotten worse. Angela was spending so much time in the bathroom at odd hours, that she had taken to keeping a blanket within arms reach, so she wouldn’t freeze while sitting on the tiles.

Jason and his mother—both certain that this wasn’t normal—took to researching for any kind of advice or help on the matter. Try as they might, though, every website and book they read did allow for symptoms to be as bad as they currently were.

When Angela had gone to visit Doctor Harris again after the first month had passed, her physician was shocked beyond words for a moment, wondering if this tired and frail figure before her was really the attractive young newlywed she’d first seen a month ago.

“I think I may already know the answer to this,” Doctor Harris attempted a smile to mask her shock. “But how has the last month been?”

Angela let out a derisive laugh, and shook her head.

“Awful. To be quite honest, if there was a way to check out of this experience, I would take you up on it. Without…reversing it, I mean…” Angela trailed off, forehead creasing slightly in a frown of thought.

Doctor Harris watched her for a moment, before coughing politely and bringing Angela’s attention back to her.

“What are the symptoms, so far?”

“Fatigue, aching, tender breasts, headaches, morning sickness,” Angela sighed bitterly. “You know. All that normal stuff.”

“No sign of implantation bleeding?” Doctor Harris asked, making notes on her file. Angela grimaced at the thought and shook her head.

“Any sign of blood? With the way I’ve been feeling? You would have heard from me much sooner.”

“Well, at least there’s that then,” Doctor Harris smiled comfortingly, although Angela could see her eyes still looked troubled as she got up from her desk and approached Angela to take her blood pressure.

“Is…is there anything that might be wrong?” Angela asked hesitantly. “Anything that I can do, or should be doing?”

“You seem to be doing all the right things,” Doctor Harris said as she took Angela’s blood pressure and added it to her notes.
No problem there…so what is going on here?

“Everyone’s experience with pregnancy is different, Angela. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how healthy you or your family line is, your body just doesn’t like the idea of carrying a child. Having said that, you’re not exhibiting anything that isn’t a common early symptom of pregnancy.” Doctor Harris smiled apologetically and gave her a small shrug. “It’s more as if you’re experiencing everything to an…emphasized degree.”

Angela sighed and nodded, as if expecting to hear this. Doctor Harris had had patients with bad pregnancies before, but there was something about the way Angela was experiencing (suffering?) the situation made Patricia wish desperately that she could reach out to the young woman and help her.

“I’d like to take another blood test, Angela, just to check for any abnormalities. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to schedule an ultrasound for your next visit in a month. But
please
, call me if something changes, and I will arrange to see you earlier.”

Angela nodded and sighed again, before presenting her arm and turning her head away from the needle.

“If it’s any consolation, Angela, these symptoms should be all but gone by your second trimester,” Doctor Harris smiled encouragingly as she took the test.

“That’s still two months away,” Angela tried not to sound nearly as bitter towards the child inside her as she felt.

“But at least it’s not seven.”

“…Point.” Angela had to concede with a wry grin.

“Are you taking anything? Vitamins, painkillers, anti-nauseates?”

“Trying to take vitamins. Don’t see much point, when I keep throwing them back up, though.”

Doctor Harris nodded thoughtfully, before she began to write up a prescription.

“I want you to give some of these a try. It’s a selection of herbal treatments—not all of them have to be ingested, so maybe they’ll help.”

Angela accepted the prescription, unable to help the faintest glimmer of hope that they might work.
I’d do anything for a good night’s sleep and no more
pain.

“Well. I know it hasn’t been a very uplifting meeting today, but I think that’s all for now,” Doctor Harris looked at Angela sympathetically. “It does get better.”

Angela chuckled weakly as she got out of the chair with a small groan and moved to the door.

“That’s what they all say,” she muttered, nodding to Doctor Harris and letting herself out.

“I’m home!”

Angela sighed quietly as she heard her husband return from work that evening.

“How was the appointment?” Jason asked as he came into the bedroom, concern written across his face as soon as he saw Angela curled up in a ball on the bed.

“That good, huh?” He asked softly when his wife didn’t answer him. Not knowing what to do, Jason moved hesitantly to the bed and lay down behind Angela, hugging her as gently and as comfortingly as he could.

“Is there anything I can do, Babe?” He questioned. Angela sighed and shrugged limply.

“Nothing we haven’t already tried. Got some herbal stuff to try. Teas ‘n things…”

“Have you tried any of them? Did they work?” Jason’s tone was frustratingly hopeful.

“Didn’t stay down long enough to find out,” Angela mumbled unhappily. Jason whined softly in the back of his throat and gently rubbed Angela’s upper arm.

“Babe, I’ve been thinking,” Jason swallowed a little as he tried to word his thoughts properly. “How would you feel about Mom coming and staying here a while, to help out?”

“No.” Angela had begun to stiffen even before Jason finished his question. She felt trapped enough, stuck at home all day—every day—unable to focus on even a book or television show for more than a short while. The last thing she needed was a mother-in-law telling her how it was so easy when she had Jason, it
must
be a problem on Angela’s side…

(
She’s right, in a way. Jason has nothing to do with this
)

I’m not listening to you
…

“Are you sure? She could help out around the house, and look after you, a—”

“I don’t want a nanny, Jason!” Angela sniped at her husband. He flushed hotly, but kept his temper.

“I’m just saying that maybe it would be easier, to have someone here while I’m at work.”

“Someone to do all the housework your invalid wife is neglecting, don’t you mean?”

“Angela!” Jason got up off the bed, a hurt expression on his face. “That’s
not
what I meant!”

“Yeah, well, you might not
think
you meant it…” Angela couldn’t stop, even though she knew she was being irrational.

“I just want to
help
you!” Jason yelled back. “What am I supposed to do here?”

“The dishes would be a good start,” Angela said sarcastically.

Jason’s mouth shut with a snap. He looked at her, jaw working as he tried to hold his temper, before he turned and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

(
That was stupid
)

“Shut up.” Angela whispered, closing her eyes as tears of bitter unhappiness welled up.

Less than an hour later, Jason came back. His expression was miserable and guilt-ridden when he came home to find his wife exactly where he had left her, still sobbing quietly.

“I’m so sorry, Babe. Oh Angela, please forgive me,” kneeling by the bed and taking Angela’s hand in his, Jason sounded near tears himself as he apologized.

(
Of course he does, he thinks you’re crying over him
)

Go away
.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated unhappily.

“‘s okay,” Angela mumbled, giving her husband the barest hint of a smile. “I’m just—this…it’s kinda scary, Jason. ‘m sorry…”

“No, Babe, you don’t need to be sorry,” Jason comforted his wife as he hugged her close.

A small fight, in the scheme of things, although it had seemed larger at the time.

For the now, in Angela’s mind, things were as good as they could possibly be given the circumstances.

In Jason’s mind, things were one short step of perfect.

Somehow, not quite the same.