Going Cowboy Crazy (35 page)

She left the store with a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, and a 2-liter bottle of Dr Pepper. In a room at a Courtyard Marriott, she overdosed on chocolate, ice cream, and caffeine while she watched more reality television than she had in her entire life. The large quantity of sugar sent her into highs of hysterical laughter and lows of uncontrollable tears. The laughter she could understand—watching washed-up celebrities hunt for girlfriends, go to rehab, or just go about their bizarre lives was pretty funny. But who
would’ve thought that reruns of
My Big Redneck Wedding
would be such a tearjerker.

Finally, around two o’clock in the morning, her body gave out, and she slept. And she probably would’ve slept for most of the following day if someone hadn’t come knocking at her door. Or pounding would be a better word.

She opened her eyes and stared at the dark room in confusion for a few seconds before she glanced over at the red digital numbers of the clock. 10:17. She closed her eyes again, but the pounding continued, followed by a sassy female voice.

“Open the damned door!”

Recognizing the voice, Faith sat up, just as a calmer female voice joined in.

“Faith? Please open the door, honey.”

Her heart seemed to stop as she waited for a male voice. But it never came. Only the sound of a boot connecting with the door.

Jerking back the covers, Faith hopped up. She had never been at her best in the mornings, and the sugar hangover didn’t help. She marched to the door with every intention of giving her controlling sister a piece of her mind. Unfortunately, she flung open the door too quickly, and a hard fist cracked her right in the bridge of her nose.

With a grunt, she dropped to the floor like a wet dishcloth.

“Well, shit.” Hope rubbed her knuckles as she stared down at her.

“Way to go, Hope.” Shirlene crouched next to Faith. “Oooo, that looks like a gusher.” She hopped back up and headed for the bathroom while Faith tried not to think
about the warm liquid that ran through the fingers she held to her nose.

“Well, excuse me all to hell!” Hope moved away from the scene of the crime and flopped down on the bed. “How was I to know she was stupid enough to jump in front of my fist?”

“I’m not stupid,” Faith muttered, her words nasally.

“I don’t know what you’d call it, running off like some damned fool and worrying everybody in town sick.” Hope switched on a lamp, then grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

Faith took her hand away from her nose. “Everyone is worried sick?”

“Not everyone. Slate doesn’t look upset at all. MTV? You watch MTV? It figures.” She grabbed the box of Swiss Rolls and pulled out the last package as Faith tried to come to terms with the fact that Slate didn’t miss her.

“Here.” Shirlene squatted down and pressed a cold, wet washcloth over Faith’s nose. “Pinch it, honey. I think you’ll be okay once the blood clots. Hope’s bark has always been worse than her bite.”

“Keep it up.” Hope spoke around a mouthful of chocolate cake and cream. “And I’ll show you just how sharp my teeth really are.”

“I’m shaking in my boots. Besides, I already know,” Shirlene replied. “Or did you forget the time you bit me in the leg because I got on the back of Colt’s Big Wheel before you?”

“It was my turn,” Hope grumbled.

“It was always your turn.” Shirlene stood up and helped Faith to her feet. “Move over, Hog, so Faith can sit down.”

Hope snorted, but moved her legs. “Quit babying her. She’s fine.” She shot Faith a quick glance. “You’re fine, right?”

“Fine” wasn’t the word Faith would use for her condition. Still, she nodded. Her nose only throbbed a little, and the light-headedness probably had more to do with the sugar low than Hope’s fist.

“In that case, let’s blow this pop stand. I want to be back in Bramble in time for the Dallas game.” Hope lifted the other roll in the twin pack, but Shirlene snagged it before she could take a bite.

“Is that why you’re here?” Faith asked. “To get me to come back to Bramble?”

Hope rolled her eyes. “No. We just spent the entire day yesterday trying to track you down so we could have ourselves a little slumber party.”

“Don’t be snide, Hog.” Shirlene joined them on the bed, folding her long legs in front of her and showing off her pretty blue stilettos. She took a big bite of the Swiss Roll and talked with her mouth full. “Besides, a slumber party might be fun. Of course, I’ll need to make a tequila run.”

“So how did you find me?” Faith pulled the washcloth back, then tentatively touched the bridge of her nose. When her fingers came in contact with a huge swollen bump, she shot a nasty look at her sister.

Shirlene grinned. “In a town as small as Bramble, it wasn’t hard to find the last person you talked to. Although Austin wasn’t exactly a fount of information. If it wasn’t for his throwing arm, that kid would be a real pain in the patootie.”

“But how did he know where I was?”

“He didn’t. But he did say you stopped for gas, and all it took was a criminal mind to go from there.” Shirlene glanced over at Hope as she polished off the last of the Swiss Roll, licking her fingers with fire-engine-red nails.

“What?” Hope glared back at her. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out. While Shirlene distracted the kid by plopping her fake hooters in his face, I got your credit card number, which wasn’t that difficult since Tyler refuses to get a new cash register and the number was right there on carbon for God and the world to steal. Although I would’ve thought a computer geek would come up with a better password than her birth date.”

“Fake?” Shirlene stuck out her chest. “These suckers are one hundred percent genuine. You’re just mad because your teacups wouldn’t distract an escapee from the state pen.”

“And lookee what yours attracted—a wrinkled geezer old enough to be your father.”

“Lyle is not that wrinkled. At least, not where it counts.”

Faith jumped into the conversation. “So you broke into my credit card account?”

Hope lifted the empty Little Debbie box and looked inside. “Which made me realize exactly how dull my twin sister is. Besides gas and a few hotels, all that was on there were bookstores and Chinese takeout. Good Lord, woman, get a life.”

Faith gritted her teeth, then winced when a pain shot up through her head. “I have a life. A life I plan to get back to.”

“Too bad, so sad. Because I didn’t come all this way to go back home empty-handed.”

Ignoring Hope, Shirlene leaned in. “So why did you leave Bramble without saying a word, honey? I mean, I didn’t expect you to throw me a party in appreciation for my hospitality, but a simple good-bye and thank you would’ve been nice. And I’m sure Burl and Jenna feel the same way.”

“It doesn’t matter why, Shirl,” Hope jumped in. “All that matters is that we get the little Disney princess back.”

Faith hopped up. “I’m not a Disney princess! And I’m not going back! I can’t go back, not when you’re pregnant!” Shirlene and Hope’s eyes popped wide, but neither reaction came close to stopping Faith’s rant. “And not when the perfect solution to the problem is you doing what every person in town wants you to do—marry Slate. And please don’t act like it’s not what you wanted. Why else would you come back to Bramble? And why would you kiss Slate like you did? And why would you accept his proposal in front of the entire town? And why would you hate me so much!” She threw the washcloth, and it smacked Hope in the face. A face that started to get a very evil look.

“Why, you little sneak, you eavesdropped on me.”

Before Faith could answer, Shirlene butted in. “You’ve got a bun in the oven, and you didn’t even tell your best friend?”

Hope whirled on her. “I do not have a bun in the oven! It’s just some crazy notion my mama got in her head when I got sick on Josie’s red chili!”

It was Faith’s turn to be shocked. “You’re not pregnant?”

“Of course not!”

Refusing to believe her, Faith leaned closer and stared
into her eyes. The truth was there as plain as the anger on her face. “But it makes perfect sense—I mean, why else did you come back to Bramble and want to marry Slate?”

Something that looked a lot like a blush spread over Hope’s face, but before Faith could get a good read, she quickly looked away. “How about because Bramble is my hometown and Slate is my boyfriend?”

“Now, Hope.” Shirlene rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think that’s a stretch, especially when you’ve been gone for five years? Slate might have the patience of Job, but let’s get real. Although I heard tell that he wasn’t so patient with you on Friday night when you took him up to Sutter Springs and ran out of gas. Tyler said he was spitting mad.”

Faith’s gaze shot over to Hope, who suddenly seemed preoccupied with the washcloth. “You ran out of gas at Sutter Springs? But I thought…” Her eyes narrowed. “You lied about kissing him, didn’t you?” There was a rush of blood in Faith’s ears, and the next thing she knew, she was flying across the bed and attacking her sister. Unfortunately, her right hook barely grazed Hope’s shoulder before Hope moved and Faith went sprawling to the floor.

“Geez,” Hope said. “How can I have a sister who is such a wimp?”

Stunned, Faith staggered to her feet. “You lied!”

“Okay!” Hope yelled twice as loudly. “I admit it! What I did was downright mean. But what else did you expect? It’s not every day that a woman finds out she has a twin sister. A twin sister who just happened to steal her identity.”

“I didn’t steal your—” She stopped because that was
as big a lie as her sister’s. She had stolen Hope’s identity and put very little effort into correcting the situation. Hope might’ve lied, but Faith wasn’t blameless.

She released her breath. “You’re right; I should’ve set things straight a lot sooner, and I’m sorry for that.”

Surprised by the apology, Hope stared at her for a few seconds before she got to her feet. “Okay, so can we go home now?”

Home. Funny, but regardless of how many years she’d lived in Chicago, Bramble did seem like home. Probably because the corny saying was true:
Home is where the heart is.
And her heart was back in Bramble. Back with Jenna and Burl and Austin and all the crazy townspeople. But mostly back with Slate. Slate who never lied to her about his feelings for Hope.

Or his feelings for her.

“I can’t go back.”

Hope sent her an exasperated look. “You want to explain why not?”

Tears welled up in her eyes, further proof that she was a wuss. “Because he doesn’t love me. If he loved me, he would’ve come after me. You said yourself that he wasn’t even upset over me leaving.”

“Of course Slate wasn’t upset, honey,” Shirlene said. “You could drop an atomic bomb on Bramble, and all the man would do is smile. Hell, he keeps his emotions more bottled up than a shook can of Coca-Cola.” She reached out and patted Faith’s arm. “But anyone with eyes can see he loves you. And I’ll tell you something else. If I had a man like that loving me, I wouldn’t be sitting in a motel room with nothing but a television and Little Debbie for company.”

“Forget it, Shirlene.” Hope started for the door. “If she wants to be a martyr, let her.”

Shirlene grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest, then proceeded to chew on a bright red thumbnail. “We can’t just give up, Hope. Not after we came all this way. There has to be some way to convince Faith that Slate loves her. And just going back isn’t going to do it because getting those words out of his mouth would be like pulling teeth. Especially after she left him high and dry just like his mama did.”

Faith cringed as Shirlene continued to think aloud.

“Of course, if anyone could get the words out of him, you could, Hope. If you could get him to fess up about his love for Faith, all we’d have to do is make sure she was somewhere close by so she could hear him.” She straightened, and her eyes got a look that Faith had learned spelled trouble. “Or maybe you wouldn’t have to be there at all—at least, not in body.”

Hope shook her head. “Marrying a sugar daddy who doesn’t spend enough time with you has left you as nutty as a PayDay, Shirl.”

Shirlene jumped off the bed. “Not nutty, Hog. Just manipulative.” She pointed a finger in Hope’s face. “Remember that old movie of Jenna’s we used to watch, the one with the twin daughters who were trying to get their parents back together?”

“The Parent Trap?”

“That’s it.” She watched Hope and waited expectantly.

It didn’t take long for Hope’s confused look to clear. “You mean switch?”

“Exactly.”

With critical eyes, Hope turned to Faith. “It will never
work. She couldn’t act like me if her life depended on it. Especially with that god-awful hair.”

Shirlene joined in the perusal until Faith began to fidget. “The hair’s not as big of a problem as her demeanor. Still, I think we can pull it off… if it was dark… and for a short amount of time.” She smiled, a cunning smile that really worried Faith. “What do you say, honey? You want to go back to Bramble? Or do you want to go back to Chicago and spend the rest of your born days wondering why you gave away heaven without a fight?”

Put that way, it wasn’t much of a choice.