Going Home (25 page)

Aaron and Joseph nodded, grabbed their bottles of bubbles, and bounded away.

Barbara turned back to Faith. “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Noah and me.”

Barbara smiled. “Ah, so you two
are
an item. I’ve been hearing some rumors to that effect, and—”

Faith held up one hand, as her forehead wrinkled. “Noah and I are
not
an item.”

“But Ida Hertzler told my mamm that—”

“It’s not true. None of it.”

Barbara tapped the toe of her black leather shoe against the step below her. “I was hoping those stories had some merit.”

“What stories have you heard?”

“Just that you two went out to Osborns’ Christmas Tree Farm awhile back, and—”

“We took Melinda and Susie along, so it wasn’t a date.”

“What about all the times Noah’s been over to your folks’ place? Wasn’t he going there to see you?”

“Noah dropped by to help after Mama broke her leg, and he came over to assist Melinda with her studies. That’s all there is to it—nothing more.”

Barbara pursed her lips. “I’m sorry to hear that. As I’ve told you before, I think it would be good for both you and Melinda if you found another husband.”

“I’ve been down that road, and it only brought heartaches.”

“You mean because your husband was killed?”

“That and other things.”

“Such as?”

“There was no joy in my marriage, Barbara.” Faith’s jaw snapped shut with an audible
click
. “My husband was an alcoholic who liked to gamble and smack me around whenever he wasn’t happy. You get the picture?”

Barbara flinched, feeling as if she’d been slapped. “Ach! I—I didn’t know.”

“No one did. I never want Melinda to know what her father was really like.” Faith blinked, and a few tears trickled onto her cheeks. “There’s nothing good in marriage. Not for me, anyway.”

Barbara slowly shook her head. “Don’t say that, Faith. Never give up on the idea of marriage or God’s will for your life. There’s certainly a lot of joy in marriage if you have the right man.”

Faith grunted. “That’s easy for you to say. I’ll bet you’ve never been slapped around by your husband.”

“That’s true. David has been nothing but kind since we first got married. I’ve always felt loved and safe with him.”

“With Greg, I felt about as safe as a mouse trapped between
a cat’s paws.” Faith’s tone was one of bitterness, and her eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

Barbara touched her friend’s arm in what she hoped would be seen as a comforting gesture. “There’s joy all around, if you only look for it.”

“Maybe for some, but not for me.” Faith stood. “Noah and I are only friends, and we won’t be finding any joy with one another.” She walked away without another word.

Barbara bowed her head.
Heavenly Father, my friend is hurting and is probably confused about some things. Please give her a sense of joy that only You can bring
.

A
s Faith stood on the front porch, staring across a yard covered with a blanket of freshly fallen snow, she thought about Noah and how she had tried to avoid him these last couple of weeks. The way he had looked at her that day under Jacob Raber’s willow tree had made her suspicious that he might be romantically interested in her. She couldn’t let Noah think their relationship could go beyond friendship, even though she was beginning to have strong feelings for him. She would be leaving soon, so any kind of permanent relationship was impossible.

Faith drew in a deep breath. While she wanted to return to her life in the English world, the idea of leaving home didn’t hold nearly as much appeal as it had when she’d first returned. She would miss Melinda terribly, even with occasional visits, and now there was another reason to stay. These last few months, she’d found comfort and security being with family.
Life as an entertainer could be lonely, and she felt as if a war raged within her. She needed to go yet wanted to stay. Maybe she could postpone leaving until after the holidays. A few more weeks wouldn’t matter. It might be better if she waited until after Christmas to head back on the road.

Faith was glad she and Barbara had talked. At least now Barbara wouldn’t be expecting a wedding for Faith and Noah. If others saw them together, more rumors would float around the community, and Faith sure didn’t need that. But she’d promised Melinda and Susie they could go one more time to the Christmas tree farm. Noah had said he wanted to show them Sandy’s Gift Shop when it was decorated for the holidays. Faith figured it would probably be her and Noah’s last time together, and since the girls would be there, no one could accuse them of courting.

Her thoughts shifted gears. The harvest was over. Papa said he was pleased that Sam, the horse he’d bought with Faith’s money, was a hardworking animal and had done his fair share of the pulling as they cut and baled the hay. She’d felt relief when Papa came to her a few days ago and returned the money he’d borrowed. Now, except for her shifting emotions, nothing stood in the way of her going back to the life she had made for herself in the English world.

“What are you doing out here in the cold?” Wilma asked as she stepped up to the porch railing where Faith stood staring out at the yard.

Faith smiled. “Watching Melinda and Susie play in the snow while we wait for Noah to pick us up to visit Hank Osborn’s tree farm.”

Wilma grunted. “I’m glad you’re seeing Noah, but I don’t see why you want to take the girls back there again.”

Faith’s smile faded. “Why must you always throw cold water on everything I want to do?”

“I–I’m not, but those fancy Christmas trees are worldly, and—”

“And you think I’m trying to convince Melinda and Susie that having a Christmas tree in the house is a good thing to do?”

“It’s not that. I just don’t want Susie exposed to anything that might make her dissatisfied with our way of life.”

Faith’s eyes blazed with anger. “So she won’t turn out like me? Isn’t that what you’re saying, Mama?”

Wilma could have bitten her tongue. She shouldn’t have mentioned her concerns about the girls visiting the tree farm. After all, she had given her consent, so it was too late to go back on her word. Bringing it up had obviously upset Faith, and the last thing Wilma needed was to put distance between her and Faith.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Wilma touched Faith’s arm. “I hope you’ll have a good time today.”

Faith’s face softened some. “You mean it?”

“Jah.” Wilma swallowed around the lump in her throat. She did want them to have a good time, and she didn’t want to make an issue of how she really felt, so she would say nothing more on
the subject. She would be praying, however, that neither of the girls came home wanting to put up a Christmas tree.

When Noah showed up at the Stutzmans’ place, he wasn’t the least bit surprised to see Melinda and Susie playing outside in the snow. What he hadn’t expected was to see Faith and her mother standing on the front porch, with Wilma wearing no coat. He’d no more than climbed down from the buggy, when the girls dashed over to him, wearing huge smiles on their rosy faces.

“Yippee! We’re going to the tree farm!” Melinda shouted as she hopped up and down.

Susie nodded in agreement. “I can’t wait to see them all decorated.”

“Only the ones inside Sandy’s Gift Shop will be decorated,” Noah said as he rapped his knuckles on the tops of the girls’ black bonnets.

Melinda giggled and smiled up at him. “Maybe Sandy will serve us some cookies and hot chocolate.”

“I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.” Noah nodded toward the house. “Shall we see if your mamm’s ready to go?”

“Oh, she’s ready,” Susie put in. “She’s been standing on the porch for some time.”

Noah smiled. The thought that Faith had been waiting gave him a good feeling. Maybe she looked forward to spending the day together as much as he did. He’d been relieved to learn
that she didn’t have a boyfriend, and as much as he’d fought against it, he found himself wanting to be with her more all the time.

“Looks like the girls are ready to go; how about you?” he asked, stepping onto the porch and smiling at Faith.

She nodded but didn’t return his smile.

He looked over at Wilma and noticed that she wasn’t smiling, either. “You’re welcome to join us if you like.”

Wilma shook her head. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve got housework and baking to finish.” She glanced down at Susie, who stood beside Melinda. “Be good now, daughter, and do whatever Faith says.”

“I will, Mama.”

Noah clapped his hands together. “All right, then. Let’s be off.”

The girls bounded down the steps, and as Wilma turned to go inside the house, Noah followed Faith out to his buggy. She seemed so quiet and reserved, and he wondered what could have happened to make her cool off toward him. Until that day he’d given her the apple crumb pie with the scripture verse attached, he had thought they’d been drawing closer. Had he been too pushy in trying to help strengthen her faith? Or had it been their discussion about his mother believing them to be a courting couple? Maybe he could get Faith to open up to him today. Then again, it might be better if he backed off and kept his distance—instead of him trying to meddle and make things happen the way he wanted them to, let the Lord work in Faith’s life.

As they headed down the country road in the open buggy,
Noah continued to scold himself. Mom had told him time and again that he had a habit of taking things into his own hands. He hoped he hadn’t botched it up where Faith was concerned—with their friendship or with her relationship with Christ. He would try to keep their conversation light and casual today and not mention anything spiritual. And he had to be careful not to let Faith know he was romantically interested in her.

“Looks like winter’s got a mind to come early this year,” Noah said, directing his comment to Faith.

“It would appear so,” she answered with a slight nod.

“You warm enough? I could see if there’s another quilt underneath the seat.”

“I’m fine.”

“You girls doing okay back there?” Noah called over his shoulder.

“Jah, sure,” Susie shouted into the wind. “This is fun!”

Noah got the horse moving a bit faster, and soon they were pulling into the driveway leading to the tree farm. Amos and Griggs bounded up to the buggy, yapping excitedly and wagging their tails.

“The trees look like they’re wearing white gowns,” Melinda said, pointing to the stately pines that lined the driveway and were covered with snow.

“You’re right about that,” Noah agreed.

Hank and his wife stepped outside just as Noah helped Faith and the girls down from the buggy. The hounds ran around in circles, and the children squealed with delight while they romped in the snow.

“Come inside and get warm,” Sandy said, motioning toward her rustic-looking store.

Everyone but the dogs followed, and soon squeals of delight could be heard as the girls ran up and down the aisles, oohing and aahing over the brightly decorated Christmas trees. Sandy took hold of Faith’s arm and led her toward the side of the store where the crafts were located. Noah figured they wanted to have a little woman-to-woman talk, so he moved over to the woodburning stove where Hank stood. Soon they both had a mug of hot coffee in their hands and were warming themselves by the crackling fire.

Noah glanced around the room. “I’m glad we got here before the rush of customers.”

“You’re right. By noontime, this place will probably be swarming with people,” Hank said. “Usually is, right after Thanksgiving.”

When Noah looked over at Faith, he wondered if she would miss having a Christmas tree with colored lights and all the trimmings. An Amish Christmas was a simple affair compared to the way most Englishers celebrated the holiday, yet it was just as special—at least he thought so. A Christmas program would be presented at the schoolhouse a few weeks before Christmas, and all the relatives of the scholars would be invited. Then on Christmas Day, families would gather for a big meal, and a few gifts would be exchanged. The emphasis would be on spending time with family and friends and remembering the birth of Jesus, not on acquiring material things or looking at tinsel and fancy colored lights decorating a tree.