Going to the Chapel (25 page)

About halfway through the evening, Doug and I start our rounds. I had suggested that we try to look like casual friends so we could undo those false impressions we created at Elaine’s engagement party.

I wasn’t quite sure what body language we would use to get our point across, but Doug did. When we get to Aunt Ruth, he takes my hand.

“We’re committed friends,” Doug announces to Aunt Ruth. “Maybe with a future.”

“And maybe not,” I add just so we all know. “We’re just friends for now.”

Aunt Ruth looks at us a moment. “So, you’re
committed
friends with no expectations? No plans? No future?”

Doug and I both chuckle.

Aunt Ruth shakes her head and fans herself a little wearily with one of the embossed napkins she’d ordered for Elaine’s wedding. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand the way you kids date these days.”

“We’re not dating,” I say.

“I know,” Aunt Ruth says with a sigh.

I’m sure Aunt Ruth will spread the word to the other relatives that Doug and I, while friends, are not on the verge of anything remotely resembling an engagement announcement.

“It feels better to have the truth out there,” I say as we go over and sit down at one of the tables.

Doug nods. “It also feels better to make a commitment or two.”

I smile at him. He’s right about that.

• 1) Have you ever been locked in a competitive struggle with a sibling or someone else as Julie and Elaine were? How did you handle it?
  
• 2) The story of Joseph and his brothers in the Bible reflects some of the problems that Julie had with Elaine. Read Genesis 37. What similarities do you see?
  
• 3) Did you notice how the roots of Julie’s struggle with Elaine began with the jealousy of their respective mothers? Have you carried on any family squabbles like this?
  
• 4) Julie particularly resented receiving Elaine’s hand-me-down clothes. How would you have felt if you were Julie in that situation? Is there anything the aunts could have done to make the situation better?
  
• 5) Why do you think Elaine used to torment Julie? Did someone treat you like that when you were growing up? How do you think a Christian should handle this kind of thing?
  
• 6) In the course of the book, Julie makes peace with her cousin, Jerry. Eventually, she sees him with new eyes. Can you think of a similar relationship you have had?
  
• 7) Elaine’s mother is very determined to climb the social ladder—she even pretends to live in another town. Some people would say this is a white lie and that it doesn’t make any difference. What do you think? What were the consequences of lying in the family? What other consequences might there be?
  
• 8) Julie learned a lot about life while working at the mortuary. What are some of the lessons she learned?
  
• 9) Julie’s friend Doug had a difficult time making a commitment because of his childhood. Is there something from your childhood that makes it difficult for you to make commitments? How do you deal with this?
  
• 10) Was there, or is there, anything else in your childhood that was or is a problem between you and God? How have you dealt with it?