GONE - Part Two (The GONE Series Book 2) (7 page)

"I don't think I can do it, Clive. Please."

"Sometimes, when I think about fucking this beautiful body." He positions himself above me. His bicep bulging as he balances the weight of his entire body on one hand. "I almost come on the spot."

I moan just as I feel the tip of his sheathed cock glide over my core. "I've already come so much. Everything is aching."

"You're swollen." He licks his lips as he stares down at me. "I love the taste of you. I would have eaten you again if you didn't push me away."

I had to out of sheer and desperate need. He'd pushed me onto my stomach after sliding my panties down. His thumb had pressed into my clit while he licked my pussy from behind. I'd come hard and fast before he started at me again. Now, the most sensitive parts of me are pulsing with an aching need. "I'm already so tender."

"That means you'll come harder when I fuck you." He pushes the lush head of his erection between my wet folds. "You're so wet for me. You're ripe and ready."

I moan at the words. He's right. I am ready. I've been ready since I arrived at his condo more than an hour ago. He'd kissed me gently and softly while I sat in his lap in the other room. I'd wanted to take him into my mouth but he wanted me more. He'd insisted on giving me pleasure. Now it's his turn to take pleasure from me. "I want it."

He pushes more of his cock into me and I let out a small, uncontrollable moan. The sensations are too much to hold everything in. I can't stop what I feel when he's taking me this way. He's larger than anyone I've ever been with and the gentle pull of pain that always comes when he's inside of me only deepens what I feel.

"Lilly." My name leaves his lips in a rush as he rams himself into me in one swift and fluid motion. "Christ, yes."

I try to reach for his hips, wanting to slow the rhythm. I don’t want to come again already. I want it to last. I want to savor the gentle roll of his hips as he adjusts to how tight I am. I need to feel him pulsing inside of me. I have to hear the primal sounds he makes when he nears his own release.

"Clive." His name falls from my lips in a purr. "Fuck me."

His body stops as his hands dart to mine reaching to pull them over my head. "Say it, Lilly. Just fucking say it."

"Fuck me," I push it out slowly. "Fuck me hard."

"Jesus. That fucking sounds so sweet." He grinds his hips into me, pushing my entire body into the mattress with every thrust. "I'm so hard. I'm going to come so fucking hard."

I clench around him as I feel my own climax bearing down on me. I struggle against his hands, wanting him to let me go so I can claw at him. I need to feel him. "Let me touch you."

He lets go of my right hand and I grab onto his shoulder, grazing my nails across the hard flesh. He growls deeply, his cock pounding into me. "It's never been this good."

I race into an intense orgasm, my sex clenching around him. I call out his name, not caring that I can hear all the desperate desire I feel for him within it.

"Lilly." His lips find mine for a deep, lush kiss as his own release takes over his body.

***

"Will you have dinner with me tomorrow?"

It's the same question he asks me every day. I haven't turned him down yet but I have no choice given what I need to take care of tomorrow. "I can't tomorrow."

His head pops up from where he's been studying his laptop screen for the past thirty minutes. I'd busied myself with returning some work emails. I'm still not comfortable with the idea of having my computer in the same room as Clive. I don't believe that he'd compromise our connection in that way again, but I'm being wary. I have to be. "What are you doing tomorrow, Lilly?"

"I need to go to Long Island." I know that it's not enough of an answer to satiate his curiosity. Judging by the way he holds tightly to my hand whenever we're out on the streets of Manhattan, the territorial parts of him are on high alert.  "It's some stuff about my family."

"I can go with you." His face brightens at his own suggestion. "I have that media thing, but I can get Rowan to handle it for me."

It's an offer that I couldn't have seen coming. I know how important the annual media day is to Corteck. I've read about their past projects and that day always provides the foothold they've needed to launch their products into success. Clive is the head of the company and as long as I've been following his career he hasn't missed one event. "You can't. It's too important."

"It's work." He snaps his laptop shut. "Come here and tell me what's going on tomorrow."

I pull on the hem of the t-shirt he gave me to wear as I pad across the floor to side in his lap. He yanks me effortlessly onto the chair with him, wrapping me in his bare arms.

"Tell me, Lilly." He presses his lips against my cheek. "I want to know."

If I had any doubt about how much Clive Parker cares for me, it would all be erased right here and right now in this instant. I can feel the pounding of his heart against my side and I can sense the anxiety in his voice. "You must know by now that I was living in Suffolk County when my family died."

He nods briskly. "I did read that's where the shooting happened. Did you live there all your life?"

"No," I answer with no hesitation. "I was born there but we moved around a lot."

"Was it because of work?"

"I guess," I offer shakily. "My father wasn't happy in one place so he'd find a job and we'd move and then he'd find a new job and we'd move."

"You ended up back there when you were a teenager though?" The even tone of his voice is calm.

"Yes," I say quietly. "My parents decided to move back when my grandmother got sick."

"Is she alright now?"

I haven't spoken about her to anyone since her funeral. There were only a handful of acquaintances at the church that day. My grandmother had led a very quiet life and that was reflected in her death. She had retreated into her own world after my mother and siblings died. I was a reminder of what had been taken from her. I saw that whenever I traveled back to visit her. "She died last year."

His hand races over my hip to rest on my waist. "You've had so much loss."

I nod, not wanting the conversation to stall there. "We moved back because she was ill. My parents actually bought a house less than a block from where she lived."

"So you're going back there tomorrow to tie up some loose ends that your grandmother left behind?"

"I've taken care of all of that already." I had. My grandmother had left everything she owned to charity and her lawyer handled all the details for me. All I had to do was pick out the flowers and music for her short, unemotional service.

"What is it then?" he presses.

I reach towards my neck, my fingers edging over the fabric of the t-shirt. The necklace that once hung around my neck is gone now along with the comfort it used to bring me when I touched it. "I have to do something there."

"Lilly." He cradles my chin in his hand, arching my face up towards his. "Please tell me."

I nod, hoping that the simple movement will ward off the tears. "I need to pack up their things."

His brow furrows as he tries to piece together the fragmented mess I'm throwing at him. "Things?"

I can only manage a shallow breath before I speak. "I'm selling the house. I need to clean it out."

"You own the house that your family lived in?" There's no disguising the shock in both his expression and voice. "Someone hasn't taken care of that for you?"

I pat my chest. "They were my family. I need to take care of it."

"Christ, Lilly." He cradles my cheek in his palm. "Please let me help you with that."

As much as my heart wants that more than anything, I know it's too soon. It's a burden I don't want to place on his shoulders or my own. "My friends will help me."

"Someone is going with you?"

"My friend Ben and his fiancée are going with me. They'll help." I tell him. "I need to do this with them."

"I can be there if you need me to." He brushes my hair back from my forehead. "I'm only a phone call away."

"I'd like to donate almost everything," I say as I stare at the Christmas tree still standing in the corner. "If you don't think it's worth donating, we can throw it away."

The sob that escapes Kayla is audible even if she's tried to mask it by putting her hand over her mouth.

"We can do this alone, Lil." Ben wraps his arm around my shoulder. "If there's anything you want to save, you can take it and head back to the city. Kayla and I can handle the rest."

It's a kind offer but judging by the way his arm is shaking, it's a task that is overwhelming to him too. I knew that before we walked through the front door of the house that it would remind him of the day he lost his mother. The city may be different, and the home he lived in then likely doesn’t resemble this one at all, but the fact that I lost my mother here reiterates the fact that he lost his mother too. 

"Ben is right," Kayla says through a very weak smile. "We can do this, Lil. I think it would be best if you didn't stay."

I want to jump on her words. I don't think anyone knows what is best for me but me. I've learned in therapy that a big part of my journey towards healing is dealing with this house and the overwhelming reminders that hide behind the boarded up windows. My brothers' toys are strewn on the floor near our feet. A row of school pictures is on display on the wall behind Kayla's head. This is where I lived and lost. I have to find the strength to let go if I'm ever going to move on.

"I'll start in here and maybe you can work in the study, Ben." I look at him for reinforcement. "Would it be okay, Kayla, if you packed up the dishes in the kitchen? There are some cardboard boxes in there."

"I can do that." She leans forward, pulling me into a tight hug. "I'll get started now."

I watch her turn to walk quickly through the dining room towards the small kitchen. Her brown hair bouncing from her shoulders as she turns the corner.

"We'll work on this floor first and then we'll talk about the bedrooms." Ben takes a step towards the study. "I can still hire someone to come in and do this."

As strong as the temptation has been to accept that offer, I know that whoever comes in won't take the tender care to pack up my family's things the way I will. I want to honor them and having a stranger thoughtlessly toss their important things into boxes is not the way to do that. "I'll be fine, Ben. Let's get started."

He walks away in silence, scooping up a cardboard box into his palm as he moves past the front door. I'd had the boxes brought in years ago when I felt strong enough to handle the task, but I had scurried back into my pain then. Today was the day that I let my family go.

I busy myself for the next hour, packing away the Christmas tree and all the simple ornaments into boxes labeled for charity. I tenderly wrap all the photos of my siblings and my parents in paper before placing them in a separate box for storage. I handle one piece of my family's history at a time, carefully considering where I want each item to go.

"I need to head back into the city, Lil." Ben calls to me from the doorway of the living room. "One of my patients was just brought in with a serious issue. I need to go."

Even though he'd taken the day off to help me with this, I knew there was a strong possibility that his time would be stolen away. "I'm good here. I can handle the rest of this by myself."

"Kayla can stay." He darts his gaze back to the kitchen. "I can ask her to hang out and help."

I don't know Kayla well enough to ask her to stay with me while I file away my past into labeled boxes and envelopes. "No. You two go now and I'll leave in a couple of hours."

"You're sure?" I can see the relief in his expression. I sensed his concern for her when she broke down into tears earlier. She has no real knowledge of my past. She's only spoken to me a few times. Asking her to stay here alone with me is too much for us both.

"I'd like some time alone here. I need it," I say it with conviction. I do need it.

"Promise me you won't tackle the bedrooms on your own." He leans down to run his hand over the back of my hair. "You and I will come back next week to finish."

I nod in agreement. I can't go upstairs alone. The weight of the night my family died is keeping my feet firmly on the first floor.

"I know you said I didn't need to come, but I couldn't stay away.” Clive’s arms are around me the moment I open the door.

"I can't believe you came here." I slide my hands under his suit jacket to embrace him. "I won't ask how you knew the address."

A gentle chuckle races through his body. "It wasn't hard to find."

I nod against his dress shirt. "You should be in the city at your media event."

"It's over." He pulls back slightly so he can gaze down at my face. "It went well. The big announcement was the re-launch of the dating app."

I smile at the grin on his face. "Who do you have working on that?"

"Not you." He runs his index finger over my chin. "It's still going to be a piece of shit, but it will be better than it was."

This is one of those rare moments when I want to ask for my job back. I've held an internal debate almost every day about whether or not I should go back to work for Clive. Our relationship is moving along so effortlessly now, that throwing any curveballs into the mix seems foolish. I want things to stay just as they are. I want to always look into his face and see the affection that is there. "You just need to market it the right way."

"Are you going to offer some free advice?" He whips his smartphone out of the pocket of his suit jacket. "If you are, I'm taking notes."

I glance briefly at his phone. "I'm not offering advice although I could use some."

He steps past me, allowing me to close the door behind him. I watch as he takes in the room and the boxes that spot the floor. "I can hire someone to take care of this for you."

"My friend made the same offer and I told him the same thing I'll tell you," I begin before I stop to look at the now barren fireplace mantle. "It's part of my healing process. I have to do it for my mother and siblings."

"I can understand that." He tucks his hands into the pocket of his pants. "I'm proud of you."

It's the first time he's said it and I'm overwhelmed by the range of feelings it ignites. "You're proud of me?"

"You're so young, Lilly." He takes a step towards me. "I was a mess when I was twenty-two. You're the most graceful, beautiful person I've ever known."

I dip my chin down to shield my expression from his view. I'm touched, deeply touched by his words. "That means a lot to me."

"It's the truth." He pulls in a heavy breath. "You're so strong. I'm in awe of you."

I feel my lip quiver. I don't want to cry. I can't allow this moment to shift into me standing in a puddle of my own tears. "About that advice that I need…"

"The advice," he repeats back as he pushes his feet farther apart. "My advice is to spend more time with your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I parrot the word back with a lift of my brow. "You're my boyfriend now?"

"I've been your boyfriend for weeks now." He leans forward to kiss me gently. "Tell your boyfriend what advice you need."

I try to steel my shaking hands. "I'm going to introduce the organ donation app at our event tomorrow."

I'm surprised by the grin that takes over his mouth. "I'm really happy to hear that, Lilly."

"You are?"

"It's an important development. It's going to help a lot of people."

"So you think it's a good idea?"

"You're doing it under the umbrella of Hughes Enterprises? Alec controls it?" he asks with little inflection in his tone.

"No." I shake my head. "He's letting me present it on my own."

"He is?" This time he can't mask the surprise in his voice.

"I'm presenting one of his apps and then mine."

"You've got him by the balls, don't you?" He skims his hand over my hair.

"Don't talk about Alec's balls."

He closes his eyes briefly before he lets out a roar of laughter. "I won't ever again."

"I'm doing it for them." I nod toward the cardboard box containing my family's photographs. "I made the app for all of them."

"They'd all be very proud of you." His hands jump to my face to cradle it. "I know they would be."