Gone Too Far (47 page)

Alyssa glanced at him. “We could head back to San Diego,” she said. “Try a completely different approach. See if we can’t track down this Ihbraham Rahman that Mary Lou was friends with. Maybe he can lead us to her.”

“It’ll take more than twenty-four hours to drive to San Diego,” Sam pointed out. “There’s no way we could get on a plane with the FBI looking for me.”

She nodded. “I know.”

What was she telling him?

She glanced at him again after she parked beneath a tiny, thirsty-looking palm tree that provided only a scrap of shade. “I think it’s probably going to take us more than twenty-four hours to find them,” she told him. “I think we should stop thinking in terms of that particular time limitation.”

“But you said you had to deliver either me or your resignation,” Sam said. “Or has Max changed his mind about that?”

He’d tried not to listen when she’d gotten that phone call from Max. He’d gone into the bathroom and turned on the water and tried to respect her privacy.

She’d said nothing about it when he came back out, which had worried him. Sure, he’d given her privacy, but that didn’t mean she had to take it, did it?

He took a deep breath. Maybe if he silently chanted,
I will not be an asshole,
he’d start to believe it and behave accordingly.

“No,” she said. “I’m sure he hasn’t.”

Holy fuck, Alyssa was willing to give up her career for him. Sam cleared his throat. “I’ve heard rumors that Tom Paoletti’s going to need an XO for a civilian team he’s maybe thinking of starting.”

“Whoa.” That caught her attention. “Sam, that’s great. You’re a good choice for that.”

“You’re a better one,” he told her.

It was his turn to surprise her.

“A lot of the consultant-type work that would come to a group like that would be handed off from the Bureau or the CIA,” Sam said. “It makes more sense to have a second in command who came out of one of those agencies.” He smiled at her. “You could be my boss. Order me around. Be honest now. Wouldn’t that be a dream come true for you?”

She laughed, but there were tears in her eyes. “I thought you were against the idea of women in the teams.”

“I was and I am,” he told her. “But this isn’t a SEAL team. This is something else. And I’d love to work with you. A shooter like you, guarding my six?”

Alyssa grabbed him by the tie and pulled him close enough to kiss. Which she did, quite thoroughly.

“Go get that phone number from that help-wanted poster,” she told him. “I’m running in to the drug store.”

Sam couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. “Alyssa, what if you don’t take that pill?”

She let go of his tie, her eyes suddenly wary.

“I can’t pretend that it doesn’t bother me,” he said. “I mean, what’s the difference between that pill and an abortion? I’m sorry, I know it was my idea, but—”

“It’s my body,” she said quietly. “Shouldn’t the choice be mine?”

“Yes. It should,” he told her. “And it is. I’m not saying it’s not. But it’s also
our
baby, and . . . I know you think I’m a jerk, but I really do want to have a family with you. I know it’s way too early for me to tell you that, but it’s true and I think you need to know it before you go taking some pill, just in case you were maybe thinking that it was something I didn’t want. I just think it’s fair—and important—for you to know how I feel.”

Alyssa was quiet for a long time.

So Sam kept going. He’d completely jumped the gun anyway. Might as well go big. “I am going to marry you, Alyssa. And if not now, then someday we
will
have a baby together. I’m determined. You might want to start bracing yourself for the inevitability of that.”

She was looking at him, but he had absolutely no idea what she was thinking.

And of course, just as she took a breath to speak, her phone rang.

She opened it, frowning slightly as she glanced down at the number. “Alyssa Locke.” She listened for a moment, then laughed. “Where are you? Are you all right? Oh, my God. There’re a lot of people looking for you, worried about you.”

She motioned for a pen and paper, and Sam grabbed the pad that they’d been making notes on. There was a pen sticking out of one of the cup holders and Alyssa already had it uncapped.

“Repeat that, please.” She wrote down an address as he held the pad in place.

“It’s Mary Lou,” Alyssa told Sam. “She said she had my cell number and—”

No fucking way.

“She’s fine,” Alyssa said as he opened up their street map of Sarasota. “Haley’s with her. Along with—get this—Ihbraham Rahman. He talked her into calling. Apparently she’s very worried for their safety.”

No
fucking
way.

“Mary Lou, can you describe the man you saw outside of your sister’s house on the night she was killed? Blond hair? You saw him? You could ID him in a lineup? Wait, hang on a sec, will you?” Alyssa leaned over the map, too. “She described it as a compound, Sam. She said it’s a main house and two guest cottages on a lake, about twenty miles south and west of Sarasota. There’s a gatehouse and guards—not for a development, but for this individual piece of property.”

“Got it.” Sam found the street on the map, angling it so Alyssa could see. “Man, it’s in the middle of nowhere.”

“We’re about twenty-five minutes away from you, Mary Lou.”

“That’s pretty optimistic,” he said.

Alyssa looked at him. “Not if you drive.”

He was out the door and sliding over the hood of the car as she scrambled over the parking brake.

“What’s your phone number?” she asked Mary Lou. “In case we get cut off?”

Sam backed out of the parking spot and headed for Route 41 south as Alyssa wrote the number down.

“We’re on our way,” she told Mary Lou.

It was Max.

“Hi,” he said. He’d showered and was wearing a very crisp white shirt with a suit that had nary a wrinkle.

His dark hair was neatly combed and his cheeks were so smooth and clean, he must’ve shaved on the way over, in the car. He smelled delicious, and his eyes were so richly brown that just looking into them made her knees weak. He looked so good, so solidly, intensely male, Gina’s mouth went dry.

“I didn’t expect to see you again,” she said. “Today,” she amended when he frowned.

“May I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped back, opening the door wider, then closing it behind him.

He looked at her suitcase open on the bed. Looked at the clothes she’d worn last night, still lying on the floor where she’d thrown them.

Gina picked them up, jammed them into her laundry bag. “I hate packing.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I do, too.”

He was looking at her now, at her hair, still damp from her shower, at her thin cotton robe. It was kind of obvious she had nothing on beneath it. Still, he let himself look. Gina allowed herself to hope that that was a good thing.

But then he said, “Gina, how do I fix this? I’ve been trying to figure it out and—”

“What’s to fix?” she asked, turning away so he wouldn’t see the way his words made her heart sink. She forced herself to laugh. “Max, we had sex. It was good sex. It was something I
really
needed. I was under the impression that you maybe enjoyed it a little bit, too.”

“I’m not quite sure
enjoyed
is the right word.”

“Oh,” she said. Now she really didn’t want to look at him. “I thought . . .” But then she had to face him. She had to know. “Are you embarrassed because you—”

“No,” he said. “Yes.” He closed his eyes. “Gina, no, the sex was great. The sex was . . .” He looked at her and held her gaze. “You know it was incredible. It was unbelievable. And it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“Why? And if you say
transference
, I swear, I’m going to scream.”

“Because a day and a half ago, I asked Alyssa Locke to marry me.”

Alyssa was already dialing hers. “Praise God for his creation of intelligent, reasonable men.”

He had to laugh. “Are you talking about
moi
? Fuck me, I wish you could time travel and say those very words to yourself, oh, about three years ago.”

“Well, I can’t time travel, but I can— Yeah, Jules. Big news. We’ve found Mary Lou. Or rather, she found us. We need heavy backup at this address.”

As she rattled the info off, Sam dialed his phone.

“Who are you calling?” Alyssa asked. “Better not be CNN.”

“Noah and Claire,” he told her. “I’m going to ask them to meet us over there, to take custody of Haley.”

Jesus, he was going to see his daughter again in just a few minutes.

Alyssa was back on with Jules. “We’re about twenty-two minutes away. It’s going to take you longer to get there—you’re much farther north. Can you get choppers?” Pause. “What do you mean no? I don’t
care
who’s in town! Get Max on the phone. He’ll get us the choppers.”

He held out his left hand—he’d written the street address Ringo had given him on his palm.

“And the deal is we connect with Ringo,” Claire said, leafing through the map book, “we take a little time—just a little—for Haley to get comfortable with us, and then SEAL-boy and Mary Lou turn themselves in to the authorities?”

“That’s right.” Noah backed out of the spot.

“And we don’t find ourselves slapped with aiding and abetting charges when Ringo changes his mind?”

“He’s going to turn himself in.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

She snorted. “Why do I find that hard to believe? I don’t think he’s ever done
any
thing the easy way. And that sounds way too easy for Ringo.”

“High adventure does seem to follow him around,” Noah agreed. “I think it’s because he’s always operated at full speed and a hundred and fifty percent effort. He may get into trouble faster than some people, but once he gets there, he works his butt off to get out of it.” He laughed. “His life is never boring, that’s for sure.”

Claire shot him a look. “And yours is?”

He didn’t think he’d sounded even the slightest bit envious—he really was just making a statement about Ringo. “No, no,” he said. “Trust me, I don’t need to be on the FBI’s wanted list to feel fulfilled.”

“Wait,” Claire said. “Go back. I forgot. If we’re going to take that little girl home with us, we’re going to need a car seat. I’ve got an extra inside the church.”

Noah went around the block and pulled back in to the church parking lot. “Hurry,” he told her.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, unable to stop her eyes from filling with tears. She, too, hadn’t thought even once last night of anyone but herself and Max. And not even so much of Max. Oh, God . . . “Maybe if you explain, she’ll understand.”

“Yeah,” Max said. “Well. She’s known about you for a while. And she
does
understand, maybe a little too well. She says she wasn’t going to marry me anyway, so . . .”

Oh,
God.
“I’m so sorry,” Gina said.

“I don’t know. She’s probably right, that the reason I asked her in the first place was to force myself to stay away from you—yeah, that worked, huh? But I wouldn’t have asked her if I didn’t honestly want her to . . .” He shook his head. “I want you to know that I didn’t intentionally set out to hurt her or you or . . . I should have slowed down, because obviously I was unable to think clearly, and I should have. I
should
have thought it through. What kind of excuse is ‘I didn’t stop and think’? A goddamn lame one. And the truth is, there’s
no
excuse good enough. What I did was absolutely unforgivable.”

He really believed that. He was wrecked about this. Gina had used him to try to repair herself and had ended up hurting him more than she could have imagined. “I seduced you, Max. I kissed you first.”

He laughed. “Yeah, excuse me, but I had a choice. I chose to stay.”

“Why?” she asked him, forcing herself to look up at him. She suspected she already knew the answer, and sure enough, there it was in his eyes. She answered for him. “Because I needed you.”

“No,” Max said. “Because I wanted to.”

He was
so
lying. Even his being here right now had
obligation
written all over it. Or maybe he wasn’t technically lying. Maybe he wanted to stay because he knew how much she’d needed him.

Which wasn’t a good enough reason, when it came down to it. She’d thought it would be, but it wasn’t. Especially knowing that he really was in love with Alyssa, enough to want to
marry
her . . . Oh, God. Her heart was breaking for him, for Alyssa . . .

For herself.

“So where do we go from here?” Max asked quietly.

He was serious. He honestly didn’t know that the answer was
nowhere
. They went absolutely nowhere.

“I’m going home to New York tonight,” Gina said, “and you’re in the middle of a situation.”

“I’m going to have some, uh, time off,” he said, “starting somewhere between now and the end of the month. Is there any chance we can get together then?”

He was serious. But then again, with his need to take care of and protect everyone he’d ever met, he probably meticulously followed up on all of his one-night stands. A phone call. A lunch date. Periodic check-ins.

This was so not the way she’d imagined this would happen. She’d fairy-taled it completely in her personal fantasy version. Max should have come pounding on her door to tell her that he couldn’t live without her, that he loved her.

Not that he was in love with Alyssa and that since sleeping with Gina had completely blown his chances with her, he might as well make plans to see Gina again.

“Get together?” she asked, one part of her wanting to torment him. “You mean, like, hook up? Have sex again?” She knew damn well that he meant have lunch.

And he knew it, too. He just looked at her.

“You mean in Africa?” she asked. Now that she’d started, she was unable to stop. She’d wanted him to love her. “Because I’m leaving for Kenya next week.”

Max looked stunned. It was remarkable. She didn’t think he did
stunned
to that extreme. “You’re not . . . You’re still planning to go?”

“Uh,
yeah.
” she said, more anger creeping in around the hurt. “What did you think, Max? I’d spend one night with you and then change my plans for the next
year
of my life, so I could rush home and stay by the phone, hoping you’ll call when you have some time off? In between your meetings with your wedding planner?” That last comment was a little too sharp, and she stood up, hating the idea of dissolving into jealousy. All she really had right now was her dignity. Well, what little of it there was left. “Max, I don’t know why you’re here with me. You should be talking to Alyssa. I mean, if you really wanted to
marry
her . . .”

“Gina—”

“Talk to her. Make her change her mind.” Gina opened her door and he took it as the invitation it was. Time for him to leave. “Tell her I’m sorry. Because I am. I’m
really
sorry.”

“She’s not going to change her mind. I don’t want her to change her mind.”

Oh, the hope that crashed through her at those words was remarkable. She almost threw herself into his arms, until he added, “I want to fix this, between us. I need to make sure you’re all right. Some of the things you said last night—”

She cut him off. “I said I’d go back into therapy.”

“You’re going to find a therapist in
Africa
?”

“Yeah, you know, I’m betting there actually
are
one or two people with degrees in Kenya.”

“This isn’t a good time for you to leave the country,” Max told her grimly, as his cell phone started ringing. It was amazing it had gone that long without making any noise.

“Thank you for your concern,” she said. “I have to finish packing now and you need to take that call.”

He moved toward the door, but stopped right next to her, inches from her. And he waited until she looked up, into his eyes.

“The bitch of it is, I still want you,” he whispered. “I’ve screwed
every
thing up, but nothing’s changed at all. I’m still dying for you, Gina.”

The heat in his eyes was incredible, and Gina was sure he was going to kiss her. Kiss her and strip her robe from her and . . .

But he went out the door and headed for his car, phone still ringing, without looking back.

“Hey,” she called, since it seemed as if he wasn’t intending to answer his phone.

He stopped, turning around only slightly, so that he couldn’t quite see her, but so that she knew he was listening.

“If you still feel that way next year, when I get back,” she said, her voice shaking only a little, “maybe you should give me a call.” She cleared her throat. “You know, provided you haven’t proposed marriage to anyone else in the meantime.”

He turned all the way around. “Gina, I’m so sorry.”

“I am, too,” she said. She wished he would kiss her good-bye, but she knew it was too much to ask—of herself as well as him. “Thank you for last night.”

He obviously couldn’t deal with her thanking him, so he got into his car, finally answering his phone.

Gina watched him back out of his parking spot and pull out of the lot, tires squealing. She watched until he was out of sight, which didn’t take long at all.

Wherever Max was going, he sure was in a hurry to get there.

Or maybe he was just in a hurry to leave.