Good Greek Girls Don't (24 page)

‘Des, you look beautiful. You are beautiful and you're going to be fine. We're here.' Holy shit! That drive was definitely not long enough. This time I really do think I am having a heart attack. My hands are sweaty, my heart is racing, I can't feel my legs, me head is ready to explode. Maybe I'm having a stroke as well. Holy shit. No turning back now. Drastic measures needed now.

‘Please, God, just let them like me. They don't have to love me
or think that the sun shines out of my arse. Sorry, God, I know
that's not appropriate language. I know I have no right to ask
you for this now; I mean, I only go to church when there is a
wedding, funeral or baptism I can't get out of, and the yearly
Easter week, but I'm not a bad person. It's just that church
starts so early on a Sunday and, after all, you're the one that
said it's our day of rest. But, God, please let this all be okay. I
love him so much. Please don't have given me Chris and made
my life so much fuller and richer with him in it, only to take
him away from me. Not even I deserve that punishment. I've
been good; I've made peace with my mother and Effie – hell,
I'll even try to be nicer to lard arse Sophia if you just let me
keep my Chris.'

‘What are you mumbling about there, Des?' Can't a person even pray these days without someone wanting to know what they are doing? How rude. ‘Time to go in, Des. We've been sitting here for ages.' Okay, ready to face the music. It's all up to you now, God. I am well and truly in your hands.

Despite the barbecue, having a meal with Chris's parents was such a different experience to our lunch earlier in the day. Chris's parents treated me as if I was someone who they'd known for ages coming over for dinner. It was casual, fun and just really easy. The best thing is that now I have a heap of ammunition on Chris! He won't want to step out of line now, given that I have a photo of him at age thirteen, when most guys would rather chew glass, in traditional Greek clothing. Yep, my hunky man all dolled up in a
tsolia's
dress, that skirt and stockings that our ancient warriors used to wear. He looked so cute, though.

Now that dinner's over, Chris and I are sitting in the lounge room while his folks get coffee and dessert.

Hopefully everything keeps going as smoothly as it has so far. Thank you, God. I knew you wouldn't let me down and throw me to the wolves like a lamb to the slaughter at Easter.

‘Here you go,
koritsi mou
, your coffee.' Wow, she called me
koritsi mou
: ‘my girl'. Why do I get the distinct feeling that I am being accepted into the clan? Why has Chris got such a smug look on his face?

‘Thanks.' Oh, God, there's mud cake on the table. Now my pants are ready to pop a button but it would be terribly rude of me not to at least try a small piece. This is delicious. Pure delight.

‘Now, Desi, you and Chris have been together for what – four months?' Boy, she's better at keeping track than me.

‘Yeah, about that.'

‘It's so good, when two young people fall in love. So special.' Now why couldn't my mother be like this, instead of trying to put Chris through the wringer? ‘You know, Despina, when Chris made dinner for you that first time, I cooked all day for him.' Hello, she cooked all day for him? And Chris took credit for it? He is
so
not going to live this down. ‘I'm so happy now I did.'

‘Ma! Please don't give away all my secrets. I'd like Desi to stick around a little bit longer, you know.' Oh, this is so cool.

‘Who was worried? Who worked herself up into a panic so that she couldn't breathe?' I wish Chris's selective memory would take a holiday or a break at least. I guess I will just have to distract it a little.

‘Chris, do we really need to recap on today?' Hand on his chest, under his shirt, working my way up, other hand heading in the downward direction.

‘Are you trying to change the subject? Mmm?' Bingo. Target found. Desired effect had. Where the hell did my top just go? I assume it's probably in the same place as my bra.

‘Now would
I
try doing something so sneaky and underhanded?' Lips on neck, hands on breasts, I think he's almost fully distracted.

‘You would.' Shallow breathing … I don't think he's going to argue with me about who was more worked up today. ‘Are you wearing what I think you are?'

‘Uh-ha. You gonna leave it sitting there or you gonna take it off?' Oh, boy, that was bold. He brings out the best in me.

‘You wore a lace G-string to meet my mother?' Edging down … edging down … oh, yeah, if he doesn't hurry up I think I shall just orgasm right now. I have been waiting for him all day, wanting him all day. Sitting at lunch, sitting at the dinner table, all I could think of was how much I just want to be in Chris's arms, always; to have him be a part of me, always; to have him within me, always. This is exactly where I want to be. Always.

‘You talk too much, honey. Make love to me, now.' No more words needed.

‘Your wish is my command.'

Whose bloody mobile is that ringing? Go away, I'm busy.

‘Hmmm, you better answer that, babe.'

No, I do not want to answer that.

‘They're not going to stop ringing.'

I am going to kill whoever is on the end of the line.

Absolutely kill them in a painful and torturous way.

‘What?' So angry that I didn't even check the screen to see who it is.

‘Hey, sis.' If Tas is calling to recap on the day's events I will kill him.

‘This better be good, Tas.'

‘Better than good, sis. I'm a daddy. Pops had the baby. We came to the hospital straight after lunch. Pops started to feel funny this morning but the doctor said she had ages to go, and you know we couldn't miss you being tortured at lunch.' He is making no sense at all and missing the most important information.

‘Boy or girl, Papa Tas?' Chris is staring at me like I have lost my marbles for jumping around his bedroom naked.

‘Little girl. Get your arse to the hospital, Des.' Click, he's gone.

‘Chris we gotta go. Get your keys.' I can't drive; I'm too excited to be able to drive. ‘We'll call a florist, order in pink. Pick it up on the way in. They're at the Mercy Hospital.' Why the hell is Chris just staring at me and not moving. ‘Come on, honey, get your keys, we gotta go!' Got my bag, heading to the door.

‘Des.' Why is he stopping me and slowing me down again?

‘What?' I want to see my new niece.

‘Don't you think we should get dressed first?'

Good point.

‘No, Ma.' No way. That would be like making a grand announcement to the whole Greek community. It's enough that Chris met my immediate family – I can't believe that he actually survived it. There's no way I'm going to unleash him on the rest of the clan.

I wish my mother would just shut up and let us enjoy ourselves. I swear, this is the last time Chris and I decide to watch a movie at my place. We can't get any peace and quiet with Mum barging into my bedroom every five minutes and hissing in my ear. What if we were naked or something? Hey, that's an idea. She'll only have to walk in on us naked once and she won't do it again.

Chris has already asked me three times what's up. I can't cover my mother's true intentions for too much longer.

‘Ask him, Despina!' Okay that was loud enough for Chris to hear clearly. Why does my mother love tormenting me so?

‘Ask me what?' Great. Chris has now stopped focusing on the movie, giving his full attention to the war brewing between Mother and I.

‘Nothing.'

‘Ask him Despina or I will.'

Threats will not change my mind. My mother should know me better than that.

‘What is it, Thia?' Good one Chris, grease up to my mother by using Greek terms of endearment. Lucky for me, I know he'll have to decline her invitation. He already has plans.

‘Despina's cousin Alexi get engaged.' The bomb is dropping. ‘The party is
Savato
. We like you come, too.' Kaboom! And now let's wait for the nuclear fallout when Chris has to say no. Suffer, Mum, you thought you could beat me.

‘That would be great.' Huh? Replay please. What the hell did Chris just say? Okay, I have to nip this in the bud.

‘You can't come, sweetie. You have that work function on Saturday, remember?' Sweet voice, dripping honey.

‘Actually, sweetie …' Sarcastic smart arse. ‘It's been postponed. I'm free on Saturday night.'

‘But, honey …' I hope my tone of voice gets the message across. ‘When we RSVP'ed, we said four. That's Mum, Dad, Yiayia and me. It's too late to add anyone now.' Problem fixed.

‘Is all right, Despina.' Great. My mother to the rescue. ‘I call your Thia Aspasia last week, she say no worries. Is fix, okay.'

They're trying to kill me. With my mother and my Thia Aspasia in cahoots I didn't stand a chance. ‘You come, eh, Chris?'

‘Of course. I can't wait.'

My mother is strutting out of my bedroom, triumphant, and Chris is giving me a big greasy grin. Who do I kill first?

I already know who we'll be sitting with: Sophia and her sleazeball husband, Spiro; Helen with her sidekick, George; and Roula with fiancé number fifty-three, or so it feels like, given that she has been engaged that many times.

I know just what is going to happen tonight. The focus of the evening will not be Alex and his fiancé – it will be Chris and I, with everyone trying to lay bets and pinpoint when we will be making an announcement. This is what I wanted to avoid.

‘Hi Thia. Congratulations for the children.' Yeah, a long life to the kids but please make it a short evening. Shit, I better introduce Chris. How do I do this? As a friend? As my boyfriend? As my significant other? I think I might just run out of here now, cause a scene and be done with it. The pressure is too great.