Good Greek Girls Don't (26 page)

‘All my life, Des, you were better. I'd come home with a B on a school project but that wasn't good enough cause you got an A.' Okay, so I got good grades, even though I spent most of my time in detention for some reason or another. ‘I got chosen for the school band, but you were the lead in the school play; you had friends, you were popular and you played sports. You were better at everything and I got sick of hearing it.'

So she decided that she would make herself appear better than me. She played the bloody trumpet at school for God's sake; it's hard to compare blowing hot air to getting to play Oedipus's mother in the school play. Unlike normal school, we couldn't do
Romeo and Juliet
; we were a wog school – St John's Greek Orthodox College, a private school for all the good Greek children of Melbourne –so we had to put on
Oedipus
. She chose to take home economics and eat all the class subject matter instead of playing sports. That had nothing to do with me.

‘So you decided to make my life miserable cause you couldn't compete with me?' I cannot believe that she's been jealous of me this whole time. This is priceless. I can't wait to tell Chris. ‘You would get me into trouble every chance you got!' And me being the idiot that I am, gave her plenty of opportunity. ‘All so you could look better than me. I bet you even got married to make sure it happened before me. You wouldn't have survived if I got married before you.' Given the look of horror on Sophia's face, I think I've hit the nail on the head. I can't believe that she would go to such lengths to out-do me. ‘Oh, Soph, that's sad, even for you.'

‘You weren't going to win that one, Desi. Not a chance. Now if anyone is stupid enough to marry you, you'll be following my good example.' This chick is crazy.

‘I'm not competing with you Sophia. My love life is not open for competition.'

‘But I beat you. For once I beat, you Desi. I came up winner.' This conversation is going around in circles and I am not achieving anything. Although I'm still trying to figure out just what I am trying to achieve.

‘Well, I hope you're happy. You won, Soph. You got married before me, and you made all the wogs wonder what the hell is wrong with me because I'm not married. Was it worth it? You've married someone you don't love just so you can one-up me. At least I know if Chris and I decide to get married, the only reason we'd do it is because we want to and it will have nothing to do with anyone else.'

‘It works for me. Besides, Spiro and I care about each other enough. Just because we aren't all over each other doesn't mean we don't care.'

I actually feel very sorry for her. She's married to a man who wouldn't take her onto the dance floor for one simple dance tonight, who likes her but doesn't love her, who sees her as a cash cow given that her father bought them a house and set him up in a business. I don't need to torment Sophia anymore. Her life will do that plenty.

‘That's great, Soph. You have everything you've ever wanted, so now you can just stay out of my life. Like I said, I don't want it to turn into a battle every time we're in the same room. You've won. You beat me. So let it go because if you try to screw with me, or my relationship, you'll regret it.'

‘I'll have won as soon as I have a baby before you. Spiro and I have already started trying. So I'll have my family before you have yours.'

I give up. There is absolutely no getting through to her. I pity any children she produces. I know one thing for sure – if I ever have children they won't be hanging out with any of Sophia's offspring.

‘Ignore it, I'll check it later.'

‘I can't focus with the bloody light blinking. It's annoying. Besides, it will only take a second to check it and then there will be no distractions.'

Famous last words.

‘Hey stranger. Remember me? Call me.'

Sexy female voice. Obviously
not
a stranger. I think there
is
going to be a distraction. Especially given how fast Chris just hit the delete button and how the colour drained from his face in an instant. I have never known anyone with olive skin to turn almost albino in a matter of seconds.

‘Something you want to tell me?' Like just who the hell is leaving a seductive message on his answering machine in the middle of the night when he is well and truly spoken for?

‘Probably a wrong number.'

It would want to be. But why did he say probably? Does that mean he's not sure? Does he know who the message is from? Or am I being ridiculously paranoid? ‘Come back to bed, gorgeous.'

I'm just being silly. It's a coincidence. It has nothing to do with the mysterious Danielle and that note I found ages ago. It just can't. But I can't question Chris about it because, despite everything, he still does not know that I found that note and it's too late to tell him about it now. I'm just being paranoid for nothing. It's just a wrong number.

I hate being kept in the dark. Chris knows I don't do the whole surprise thing. Besides, it's just my birthday. It's not even a momentous birthday. Twenty-nine is kind of a nothing age – a non-event – not like twenty-one, thirty or forty. So there is no cause for this whole mystery thing that Chris is doing. I know it's the first time we will celebrate my birthday together but this is ridiculous

‘Come on, Chris, tell me where we're going.' I wonder if he can hear me pouting through the phone. I so did not do the whole cloak and dagger secrecy thing with Chris's birthday. He knew all about it. But then again, I suck at keeping secrets so there was no point in my even trying.

‘Patience is a virtue, Des'. In the eight months we've been together, what could have possibly indicated to Chris that I am a patient person and that such a cliché would even come close to working with me? ‘Just be ready at four on the dot.' Four? Okay, my boyfriend has taken complete leave of his senses. Who goes out at four in the afternoon?

‘Chris, that's not fair.'

‘Stop being a sooky la-la, Des. Get over it and get ready.' How the hell am I supposed to do that when I don't know where w're going?

‘Can you give me a hint then, so I know how to dress?' Good approach. What if I dress in beachwear and the occasion calls for formal wear? A girl needs to know these things.

‘Don't stress about silly things like that. Have a soak in the tub and the answer will come to you.' What sort of an answer is that? That's it, I'm just going to greet Chris in my bra and undies. Actually, Chris may like that but with my parents and grandmother at home, it may not be one of my brightest ideas to date.

‘Chris …'

‘Gotta go, honey. Love you. Be ready at four.' Click. What the? I can't believe he hung up on me. I'll show him. I'll be in cut-offs and a tank top when he gets here. Or I'll be in my daggy, tacky bathrobe. I need to soak in the tub to figure this out.

‘Hurry up, Despina. Something here for you.'

‘Jeez, Ma, I'm coming.' Quick pat dry, robe on, undies will have to wait.

‘Come, Despina. Hurry.' This better be good. Where on earth has she rushed to after hurrying me out of the bathroom? What are she and Yiayia doing in my bedroom? And where did Effie come from? She wasn't here when I went into the tub.

‘What's going on?'

‘Look, Desi
mou
.' What is my mother pointing at? That was definitely not there before. I would not miss a purple gift box and a dozen purple roses sitting on my bed. No wonder my mother rushed my out of the tub. Happy birthday to me. Something tells me I am not going to be disappointed tonight.

‘Where did that come from? These three look way too satisfied with themselves. Like they know something I don't know.

‘No idea, Des. I met the delivery man at the door when I got here about fifteen minutes ago.' Yeah, sure. How convenient that my sister showed up just at the moment the delivery man did. She couldn't have planned it better if she had tried. And why did my mother wait fifteen minutes to call me. ‘What do you think it is?' Only one way to find out.

I don't think my mother and sister have ever seen me attack a gift box with such gusto before. Ribbon off, lid open. Oh my God. He's even wrapped it all in lilac tissue paper. Chris has really gone all out with this. He's even included a note:
Desi, I know you have a million questions 
but there is only one answer. All will be revealed tonight. And
here's a little something to point you in the right direction
of what you should wear tonight. Happy Birthday, baby … 
I love you … Chris. XXX.

Holy cow! My baby knows how to shop, but he's not this good. He must have had help with this one, but what's the bet no one here is going to fess up to it. It's beautiful, it's amazing. And it's my size. This is the ultimate little black dress – will definitely need a G-string. Hope they're not in the wash. Jeez, there's more – matching shoes and an evening bag! I feel like Cinderella, but if any fairy godmother tries to impose a curfew I will shove her magic wand up her magic arse.

‘Oh, dear God. Thank you.' Why is Yiayia praying to God? ‘Beautiful. Tonight special, eh?' What is she hinting at? Does she know something I don't?

‘It's just my birthday, Yiayia. No big deal.' I am just going to enjoy this and go with the flow. No expectations. This is already more than I could ever expect. Chris has always been more that I ever dreamt about.

Mum is practically jumping up and down with excitement. ‘I help you get ready. I do your hair for you. Effie do your make-ups.' Huh? This is starting to freak me out.

‘Relax, Ma. It's not like she's getting ready to march me down the aisle or something.'

‘I come back. Do your hairs, okay.' No point in arguing, her mind is made-up.

Two hours later and I'm ready. Effie made me sit still while she did my make-up. I have to admit, it was kind of nice. We didn't do this sort of thing when I was a teenager and started wearing make-up. Effie was older and was too busy being pushed into a union with sleazeball Andreas.

Mum's done a fantastic job with my hair. Straighter than straight and silky smooth. And she didn't cheat and use a straightening iron. If I had known she was this good I could have saved myself a fortune on hairdressers.

‘Ma, Ef, do you guys know what's going on? What's Chris got planned for tonight? You have to tell me.'

‘No idea.' That answer was too rehearsed, too choreographed. They bloody answered at the same time.

‘Yiayia?' Why am I even wasting my breath? She's the craftiest of us all.

‘No.'

Chris has got them trained so well. Ding dong. He must be here. Okay, let the fun begin.