Good Greek Girls Don't (30 page)

It is so sad that the only wedding-free zone in the house to call Chris from is the bathroom.

‘Save me!' Somehow a simple hello cannot adequately capture the severity of the situation.

‘I'll be there in twenty, babe. We'll go out for a coffee and a bite to eat.' And a quickie wedding perhaps?

‘Let's elope.' It's a viable option. ‘They might forgive us.' Eventually, maybe. I think.

‘Babe, my mother would disown us, your mother would self induce a stroke and your grandmother would put an evil eye on us.'

Reality check. I can't avoid this madness.

‘They're going to send me to psychiatric care and we haven't even set a date!' I can only imagine the overdrive they will go into when we actually set the date. They'll be like Energizer bunnies on speed – they'll keep going and going and going. Maybe I should just move into Chris's place now and be done with it. My mother would be so mortified at the thought of us living in sin that she would beg us to sneak off to the church and get married before anyone found out and we were damned to an eternity in hell.

‘You need to calm down. They're just excited. And relieved that they're finally getting rid of you.' My fiancé the comedian. ‘If you calm down and drink your coffee I'll let you go into the bag shop up the road.'

Now that's a bribe I like. God I love Chapel Street. Not only does it have my favourite street cafés, but I can also find the funkiest handbags in a little shop in the Cherry Lane arcade. I have no idea what the store is called and I don't need to – the owners know me by name by now. I think they have a photo of my credit card on a wall of fame there. The first time I dragged Chris down the little arcade we walked out an hour later with two handbags and matching purses. I even bought Chris a wallet, ensuring it had plenty of room for a photo of me of course.

I remember that first shopping trip like it was yesterday. As we walked out of the shop Chris teased me about our coffee date turning into a spending spree, and I explained to him that a new handbag has nothing to do with need – it is all about desire. And that you can't come to Chapel Street just for a coffee. You have to wander up and down the street shopping at your leisure. It's part of the culture. You can't just sit back watching other people go in and out of boutiques and simply listen to the trams rolling by and not get caught up in the moment. You can lose yourself in the boutiques, the music and book stores, get your energy back with a mid-shopping coffee and start all over again. And when the stores finally close, you can take a load off at a beer garden, with your pick of pubs and bars.

Chris really should have known better than to bring me here today. I cannot be held responsible for the credit card debt that may be incurred this afternoon. It is a prerequisite for being here. But that blonde thing eye-balling my fiancé is definitely not a prerequisite. Can she not see that his attention is completely and totally focused on me, who is obviously the love of his life?

‘Why is that woman staring at you?' From the look on Chris's face, he hadn't noticed her. How can he not notice someone who has been glaring at him intensely for the last ten minutes? And bugger it, I know that face. I just don't know where from.

‘What woman?' He's looking around to see if he can figure out who I'm talking about.

‘The blonde two tables over. Don't make it obvious that we've spotted her.'

Too late, she's coming over. What's she planning on doing? Give him her number right in front of me or jump straight into his lap?

‘Hello Chris.' What the? He knows her? Phew, that's a relief. He probably knows her through work. Maybe she's a secretary for one of his clients. I got myself worked up for nothing.

‘Danielle.'

Okay, I think I'm going to be violently ill. The red envelope. The phone call. That damned photo.

‘It's been a long time.' Just how long has it been? Chris hasn't told me anything about her.

‘It has.' Does Chris even remember that I am here?

‘You're looking good, Chris.'

Is he planning on introducing me to this blond Amazon woman with the obviously fake boobs?

‘You, too.'

That's it. Time for action.

‘Hi, I'm Desi. Chris's fiancée.' He's my man, back away bitch. You had your chance and you blew it.

She looks shocked. ‘Engaged, huh?'

Why the hell should that be so surprising? Did she think that Chris would spend his time pining after her silicone boobs?

‘I guess congratulations are in order. I suppose you can teach old dogs new tricks.'

Am I missing something here? Just who is the old dog?

There's an awkward silence while we all try and think of something to say. It's certainly not going to be me.

‘I should get back to my table.' Yeah, no kidding. ‘It was good seeing you Chris. I've missed you.' What sort of a parting shot is that to give a guy in front of his fiancé? It's a good thing we're in a public place other-wise I might not be sitting here so silently. She's missed him? She may as well have just planted a huge kiss on him right in front of me.

‘What was that all about?' I want answers and I want them now.

‘Just someone I used to know.'

That's not an answer. I know who she is, that's not what I asked. And what sort of a lame line is that? How can you used to have known someone? Then what? You don't know them again? You have to be introduced to them all over again? I've never understood that line. It only applies to people with Alzheimer's. And I don't think Chris falls into that category.

‘When then tell me – who's the old dog?' She's obviously had an effect on Chris. His whole demeanor changed when she showed up. His whole body is tense.

He's wound up tighter than a jack-in-the-box.

‘I don't want to talk about it, Des.'

This is not good. This is so not good.

I can't concentrate on the bridal magazines that Effie and I are going through. I've come over here to escape from the wedding expo that's happily going on without me at home, but had I known that Effie had bought up all the bridal mags on the market I doubt that I would have sought comfort at her place. A wedding is the last thing on my mind at the moment. And, God help me, I'm terrified it might be the last thing on Chris's mind, too.

‘What's wrong, Des?' The fact that I have my sister worried means that I am lousy at hiding things. If she can see through me, anyone can. How can I tell my sister what is going on, when I can't even figure it out? ‘You've flicked through all these magazines without looking at a single dress.'

‘Effie, I'd have to be sure that there's going to be a wedding before I can pick a dress.' There, I've said it. The thing that's been eating away at me since this afternoon. Is there even going to be a wedding? Or has this Danielle woman just come in and totally turned our worlds upside down?

‘Desi, what have you been smoking? Of course there's going to be a wedding.' I don't want to burst my sister's bubble. She was so miserable at her own wedding, she should at least get to enjoy mine. That's a really nice feeling, knowing that she wants to share in my happiness. A few months ago, I wouldn't have believed it.

‘You're right, Ef. I'm just being silly. Mum and Yiayia and all their plans are getting on my nerves, that's all.' Effie's got enough on her plate with her rotten, no-good, lousy excuse of a husband. She doesn't need to worry about me and Amazon Silicone Woman. ‘You know, we haven't even set a date, so there's no rush to find a dress yet. I've gotta go, Effie. I just remembered I told Chris I'd go to his place so we can try picking a date.' Believable excuse for a hasty exit. But I am definitely not going to Chris's to pick a wedding date. I'm going to make sure that there is still going to be a wedding to pick a date for.

‘Chris …' How do I do this without sounding neurotic and jealous and all those things that are very unattractive in me?

‘Hmmm?' He's not paying attention. His mind is on her. I can't lose him after all we've gone through.

‘What happened with you and Danielle?' I come out with it. Hinting got me nowhere, and subtlety is not my strong point anyway.

‘Nothing. We went out for a while and it didn't work.'

Anyone who had seen this afternoon's exchange would know it's not as simple as that.

‘What did she do to you?' It must have been something big for him to react this way.

‘She didn't do anything, Des. I did.'

Huh? He's the old dog that can be taught new tricks?

‘It was a long time ago and it's ancient history. I'd forgotten about it until today.'

How do you just forget? I mean, Denny was not a highlight of my life but I don't think I'll ever forget about what happened between us. It just doesn't work that way.

‘Des, just let it go.'

‘I can't. I tried to let it go when I found a note that she left you and I tried to let it go when she left that message on your answering machine … Yeah, I found the fucking note with the happy photo of the two of you. I tried to convince myself that I was being paranoid for nothing.'

Hearing her voice today, I know that she was the anonymous message on the machine Chris convinced me was a wrong number. ‘I can't let it go because the way you reacted to her tells me that
you
haven't let it go.

You still have feelings for her.'

‘No, I don't.'

He's answered way too quickly. How can I have been so blind? It all makes sense now. He would never talk about her. I mean, I'm not stupid, I know that Chris is in his thirties and there has to have been someone before me. I'd be worried if he hadn't been involved with anyone before me. But
in love
with someone before me?

A more passionate love than me? It's not supposed to be that way. I'm supposed to be the one great love and the rest were just preparation. I know Chris loves me. But what if he loves her more?

‘Des, I was the arsehole in that relationship, okay? You don't need to know what happened.'

How bad can it be that he's kept it from me this long? Just what is Chris capable of? Can I marry him without knowing?

‘Yes – I do need to know. You know all about me. You know the worst of me and you still say you want to marry me. Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt like I did when I told you about Denny? Trust me like I trusted you.'

‘Believe me when I tell you it's all over between me and Danielle. All you need to know is I love you, Des and we're getting married.'

End of story. Chris isn't giving anything away. It must have been pretty major if he won't tell me. Is he afraid that if he tells me I won't love him? Is he afraid that I will turn away from him?

I know there's no point in pushing him, but I can't stay here tonight. I need some time away from him to think.

I pick up my bag. ‘I love you, too, Chris. I'm going to marry you. But I'd prefer to do it with no secrets between us.'