Good Intentions (The Road to Hell Series, Book 1) (21 page)

He stared at the sparks for a minute before lifting his head to look at me with narrowed eyes. “You didn’t tell me you felt the pulse of life,” he accused.

River

“I didn’t tell you I felt the what of what?” I stammered, too astonished by those sparks, the twitching muscle in his cheek, and the angry tone of his voice to fully comprehend what he’d said. A spark shot between my index and middle fingers, looking almost like a mini-lightning bolt. My jaw went slack as I watched the small lightning bolt zip all the way through to my pinky finger before fading away. “That’s beautiful.”

His hands tightened around mine. “You didn’t know.”

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the awe and confusion before focusing on him again. “Didn’t know what?”

“How could you not know you can harvest power from things?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You feel the pulse of life in the things around you.”

He kept a firm hold on my hands when I tried to tug them away from him. I gave up fighting to get my hands back, so I could glower at him. “Of course I do, everyone does.”

He lifted both of my hands so they were almost dead center between us. “
No
one else on this plane can do this. No one else can harvest from the life forces around them and use it as a weapon. You should have told me. We would have focused on working on this instead of the fire.”

I blinked at him and tried one more time to free my hands from his grasp. My teeth grated together when he refused to relinquish them. “Some weapon, it’s not getting you off of me!” I retorted. “And I can assure you, I’ve never turned into a mini-lightbulb before!”

“Of course it’s not affecting me; you don’t know how to use it. If you did, it would be an entirely different story.”

“Then mark it down as number one on my list of things to learn from here on out. Give me my hands back!”

Finally, he released me. When I lifted my hands before my face again, they remained still, no golden-white light leapt from my fingertips. Disappointment filled me as I willed it to come back to me. There had been something so comforting and familiar about it. So
right
. I grabbed Kobal’s arm out of curiosity. A single spark leapt to life before fading away.

My fingers dug into his arm, but nothing more came out of me. “I don’t understand,” I murmured.

I glanced at him, but his face was shuttered and his eyes had returned to their pure black depths.
He’s shut himself off from me again
, I realized.

He’d been open to me moments ago in a way he’d never been before. Now that was gone, and I was left with the remorseless demon I was becoming more accustomed to. Straightening my shoulders, I released his arm and tilted my chin up.

“You should have told me,” he said again.

“Told you what?” I demanded. “Yes, I feel life around me, all the time. However, unlike strange visions of who’s going to volunteer, or where my brother is hiding, and that one time where I
maybe
could have set the curtains on fire, it’s something I assumed everyone felt. And if I suspected they might not feel life all around them like I do, I never mentioned it to anyone because it was something I could keep hidden, something I actually enjoyed! The life flowing around me doesn’t hit me out of nowhere; it’s a constant soothing presence to me. So how was I supposed to know it wasn’t something everyone else experienced and never spoke about? How was I supposed to know
every
human on the planet didn’t feel the exact same way as me?”

I wasn’t about to tell him I’d had strange little sparks before. He would only assume I really had been keeping this from him on purpose and would never understand I’d written it off as simple static electricity.

“Maybe,” he replied in a tone that screamed
liar
at me.

“There is no maybe!”

This time, I was frustrated enough to stomp my foot. It had been a horrible day. I’d met his sort-of ex, had a migraine, stumbled across an orgy, nearly mauled a demon out of lust, and shot sparks from my fingers like a broken robot. All in all, in the list of bad days, it was in the top five, and I’d had enough of it.

“You don’t know me!
I
don’t know me anymore! Six weeks ago, I was a somewhat odd human, with my brothers to take care of and fish to catch. Now I’ve been torn from my home, I have no idea what I am, what I’m capable of, how I feel, or if I’ll still be alive in another year since you’re all determined to drag me to Hell, but no one has ever said anything about me coming back!

“Not to mention, you’re telling me Lucifer himself is my ancestor. You’re telling me there could be something evil in my genetics, and I’m just supposed to be all
la-di-da
about it because you say there is no such thing as pure good and evil, but he was an angel once and now he’s a monster. I’m not supposed to question if I could somehow become twisted and broken in that way too! I don’t know what or who I am anymore, but I’m leaning toward the demonic side with the fire throwing thing, and even if demons aren’t evil, it terrifies me!”

The tears of frustration and anger burning my eyes only infuriated me further. I wiped them away before folding my arms defensively over my chest. He stared at me as if he didn’t know me; it made me want to hit him.

“River—”

“Please leave now.”

“We must talk about this.”

“We can do it tomorrow. I would like to be alone right now.”

I found I couldn’t meet his eyes when he ran a hand through his disheveled hair and gave a brief nod. “Fine, but we will be working on trying to harvest this power tomorrow.”

“I never had a doubt. It is all about getting me ready after all; it is all about the power.”

He’d stayed a couple feet away since I’d become the human equivalent of a lightning rod, but now he stepped so close I had to press my back against the canvas wall to keep from touching him again. His hands rested on either side of my head as he lowered himself until he was eye level with me.

“Let’s get this straight between us right now. It’s not all about the power. You may be the key to saving both our species and righting the wrongs that have been done. I am going to make sure you are prepared for that, as well as any other threat, but I will do everything I can to make sure you come back
alive
.”

My breath froze in my throat as his eyes shifted back to amber. He lowered one hand and brushed his fingers over my cheek before stepping hastily away. He turned toward the flap dividing my new room from the rest of the tent. I stood, unsettled and uncertain what to do as my gaze fell to the floor.

“River.” I lifted my head to look at him standing in the small doorway. “What you just did, what you feel and assumed everyone felt, that’s an
entirely
angelic power.”

What was I supposed to say to that? I believed he was trying to be comforting, but I couldn’t be sure. “Oh.”

“If you leave this tent again without me by your side, I’m going to start tying you to the bed at night.”

He was enough to give me whiplash as he went from being almost nice to domineering again in the space of a heartbeat. My teeth clamped together and my hands fisted, but no sparks shot from the tips. Oh yes, I’d definitely figure out how to get that little ability to work again, if it was the last thing I did.

I didn’t get a chance to respond before he disappeared into the other side. I stared at the flap, still swaying between us, and tried to digest his words. Up until now, he’d said he believed I could be the one, but there had always been at least a little doubt, in him, in me, and I’m certain everyone else in the encampment.

With those sparks, it had vanished. There it was now, a little bit of every species in
me
. I could fling fire like a demon, die and love like a human, and feel the pulse of life like an angel, which somehow turned my fingers into their own Fourth of July celebration when around him.

Exhaustion clung to me as I shuffled over to the bed and pulled back the red blanket and sheets. I’d forgotten the lantern on the hill, but the dim glow of the ones in Kobal’s tent filtered around the edges of the flap dividing us. All I wanted was to go to sleep, but I knew I wouldn’t.

Not only had this night gone to complete shit, but my body still throbbed with its need for him. I tried to ignore it, but it was impossible as I curled into a ball beneath sheets smelling far too much like him to give me any relief from him.

Nothing could be worse than this, I decided. I was already in Hell.

Kobal

“Try harder.”

If she figured out how to harvest the life around her, I was fairly certain I’d be lying in the middle of the field a hundred feet from here. She couldn’t know her fire wouldn’t have an effect on me, but if she learned how to turn that pulse of life into a weapon, she’d have me on my ass, and with the look on her face right now, she may keep me there.

“I
am
trying!” she snapped. “Maybe you could show me a better way to do it instead of barking at me to feel the pulse and try harder! I’m not Luke Skywalker; I can’t just feel the force like he did.”

A stab of jealousy tore through me at the mention of another man. I’d never felt jealousy before, never expected to experience the searing heat tearing through my chest and making my blood boil. My claws extended and if he’d been standing before me, I would have killed him.

“Who is this Luke?” I demanded.

She rolled her eyes. “He was a character in movie I saw once, years ago.”

“You humans and your infatuation with fictional characters.”

Her eyes narrowed on me. The shadows rimming them made their color a deeper almost midnight purple. “You demons and your dickhead comments.”

My eyebrows rose at her statement. She continued to glower at me, looking as exhausted and stressed as I felt. Dirt streaked her cheeks and the tip of her nose. Her black hair, pulled onto the top of her head when we started, now hung against her nape. Strands of it stuck to her flushed forehead and cheeks.

She was sweaty and disheveled, yet blood flooded into my cock at the thought of running my hands over her. I could still feel and taste her on me from last night. Could easily recall the suppleness of her flesh, the fullness of her breasts against my chest. Breasts that would fill my hand as I rubbed and kneaded them before running my tongue over her puckered nipple. I had never craved a woman the way I craved her. Never been so stimulated and frustrated by the inability to be with one before.

I kept telling myself I was this on edge because I hadn’t been with a woman since she’d arrived here and had never gone so long without one before. There was no need to deny myself for so long; there had always been plenty of willing women in Hell. There had been men too, but unlike some of the others, my tastes only ran to the women. I enjoyed the feel of them, the sound of them, the way their bodies moved and flowed with such easy grace. Their breasts, their breath, and the softness of their skin. Even in Hell, they had smelled sweeter and been more inviting.

But none so much as her. My fangs, having extended of their own accord, pressed against the inside of my mouth as she walked away from me, her firm ass swaying in the shorts she wore. The curve of her upper thigh had been revealed during her last fall, which had shoved her shorts up her legs.

I’d been keeping away from the fire and the women to make sure she stayed protected, but I couldn’t take one more night of relieving myself with my hand while images of
her
ran through my mind.

River had completely thrown me off, but I could end that easily enough tonight by returning to the fire. I’d be able to get her out of my mind after a few hours of rutting on top of one of the other willing humans. Bale could watch over her; she would make sure River stayed safe. I’d far prefer to have River in my bed, but entangling myself deeper with her would only create more problems. I was supposed to be training her, making her stronger, and preparing her for the fight ahead. Not fucking her senseless.

The only problem was, just thinking of trying to screw another woman caused something within me to recoil. My suspicions about what she might be to me grew every day, but there would be no way to know for sure if she was my Chosen or not without being inside of her. If it turned out she wasn’t my Chosen, sex would complicate our already complicated relationship.

I’d never had to consider such things before, but I did with her. Even if she wasn’t my Chosen, I didn’t want her to be hurt, and I would one day claim my throne and return to where I belonged. If she was my Chosen, I still intended for those things to happen. There was a chance she wouldn’t be able to live within Hell, and if she could, there was a bigger chance she wouldn’t want to.

I had been so close to knowing if she was my Chosen or not last night. If I’d kept kissing her, she wouldn’t have had any time to come to her senses. I also wouldn’t have noticed the sparks that had brought us to this empty patch of land, away from human and demon eyes alike. For now, I preferred it that no one else knew what she could be capable of.

My cock jumped when she bent over to reveal more of her tantalizing legs to the curve of her round, firm ass. I wiped at my mouth when saliva filled it.
Take her, she’s yours!
I thought as I watched her grab a bottle of water from the ground, open it, and greedily gulp down the contents.
Her mouth around me in such a way, sliding up my shaft as her hands— No!

No matter how badly I wanted her, no matter how badly everything in me screamed she was mine, I could never take her in such a way. I couldn’t take her then abandon her. My body recoiled against the idea of leaving her at all. If I took her, I would never let her go, but as a mortal, I could never keep her.

Turn her.
I immediately shut the startling impulse down. That couldn’t be a possibility, not with my River.

Adjusting my erection, I took a deep breath and slowly regained control of myself enough to resume her training.

“Try again,” I said quietly.

She shot a look at me over her shoulder before dropping the bottle and resting her right palm against the trunk of a tree. Her back remained to me as her attention focused on the valley I knew lay beyond this hill. Walking over, I stood beside her to stare down at the ruined town nestled below. The blackened remains of the homes and the giant crater in the middle were all I needed to see to know it had been a victim of the war. Most of the residents probably hadn’t survived the devastation unleashed there.

“Have you ever gone down there?” she inquired.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why would I?” I demanded impatiently. “They’re dead, and it’s a wasteland. Come, we must practice.”

The look she gave me was one of pure exhaustion. Her lids hung heavily over her shadowed eyes; her shoulders were slouched and her face strained. It was good to know I hadn’t been the only one tossing and turning for the rest of last night. The only difference was I’d been kept awake with fantasies of her plaguing me and a stiff dick that refused to be eased by my hand. She’d probably been contemplating my murder.

Throwing her shoulders back, her chin jutted out. “It’s not getting me anywhere. You have to be able to tell me something that will help me do it.”

I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at the ends of it. “I know only the rumors about the ability. Angels are able to harvest energy from other living things and use it against their enemies.”

“Well, if they’re not fighting you, like popularly believed, then who are they fighting?”

“Each other. Satan didn’t throw himself out of Heaven.”

“Why are they fighting each other?”

“What else is there to do in Heaven? Hanging out on clouds and playing harpsichords gets tiring for everyone after a century. Just as hanging out in Hell does.”

She frowned at me before her gaze slid back to the town. “The demons did a lot of infighting?”

“There was some before Lucifer arrived and turned it into an all-out war. Mostly the lower-level demons would try to launch an uprising that was quickly squashed. Now battling is an everyday part of our existence.”

“Why wouldn’t God put a stop to the angels fighting?”

“I have no idea. Perhaps God likes a good fight too.”

“It all sounds so silly.”

“You humans enjoy your battles too. Look at all the wars, fights, and murders of which your species has taken part. It is the way of all of our worlds.”

“I suppose,” she murmured. “It’s all so sad.”

“Come.” My hand fell on her arm. When my cock jumped again, I realized immediately I never should have touched her. Gritting my teeth against the urge to place her hand on my erection and have her ease from me what I could no longer do on my own, I turned her away from the town. “You must concentrate.”

“It would probably help if you told me more than concentrate and focus. What did Lucifer do to get this ability to come to life?”

“I don’t know; he was unable to use it once he became more of a demon. It’s the only ability he was never able to channel again.”

She looked tempted to punch me when her head tilted back to look at me. “You’re yelling at me to use a power you’ve only ever heard about being wielded!” she accused. “And you have no idea if I’ll be able to do what you’ve only
heard
of.”

“You can use it.”

She slammed her hands on her hips. “And how do you know that?”

“Because you are the strongest, most capable human I’ve ever met. This ability has been brought forth in you already; it will come forth again.”

Her mouth had dropped open when I’d called her strong and capable; now confusion shimmered in her eyes as she stared at me. “I’ll try.”

“You have to do more than try. We will be leaving in a month.”

“A month?” she croaked.

“Yes. They are working now to split off some of the best soldiers, who are willing to go, into a group of about two hundred; from there we will be culling the numbers lower and taking only the best of the best with us.”

I had given Bale and Corson the order this morning to start the process, but we had been watching the humans for a long time now and preparing for this moment. It would not take them long to get the soldiers organized.

“You expect me to be ready in a month?” she asked in disbelief.

“I don’t expect it; I know you will be. I will not fail you.”

She gaped at me before closing her mouth and folding her arms over her chest. “A month,” she whispered.

“Other demon camps around the country are doing the same and preparing to go to battle. Many will not survive the journey.”

“Do they know they might not survive the journey?” she inquired tremulously.

“They are soldiers. They were informed this mission would have a high mortality rate when they agreed to try for it. They also know this mission may bring an end to what has happened.”

“No pressure though,” she said with a small smile.

She was so young, so mortal, and she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. My fingers itched to enfold her in my arms and shelter her against my chest. She deserved happiness; I was handing her death.

Before I could stop myself, I placed my hand around her nape and pulled her close to kiss her forehead. Her natural fresh rain and earthy scent assailed me, but I didn’t become aroused by it this time. Instead, I found it pacifying the anguish I felt for her. I’d never been one to comfort someone before, yet the gesture felt natural with her.

“No pressure,” I said against her silken flesh.

Her eyes looked dazed when I reluctantly released her and took a step back. She couldn’t feel anymore dazed than I did right now.

“How many will go with us from here?” she asked.

“Around fifty.”

Her eyes shifted in the other direction, and her attention focused on the wall. “I’d hoped to be able to see my brothers again,” she murmured before shaking her head. “Pipe dreams.”

“As I said before, I’ll see what I can do to make it happen.”

“Really?”

I had no idea why I’d ever promised her such a thing the first time, and now I’d said it again. It certainly wasn’t something that was
ever
done. No one on the other side of the wall could know what was over here. The humans had already panicked enough to release nukes. The truth would drive some of them mad and others to bloodlust.

Small groups of humans at a time, willing to be trained and who were never allowed to see their families again, were all that could be trusted with the knowledge of our existence. I still didn’t fully trust those, but at least we could monitor them here and put down any revolts that might form.

“I’m not making any promises, but yes,” I said.

“Why?”

I folded my hands behind my back as I pondered her question. I had no answers for her, other than the smile on her face, but I couldn’t tell her that. “You have to practice.”

She bowed her head and walked away from me. I watched as she knelt down and dug her hands into the thick green grass with her back to me.

“Maybe we should find you something with more of a life force,” I suggested.

“The last time I got any kind of reaction is while touching you, and that’s not working anymore.” I strode over to stand beside her, and her head tilted back so she could look at me. “Besides, the earth is a giant conductor of life. Not to mention all of the insects teeming inside of it. There’s
loads
of life beneath my hand right now.”

Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply and turned her face toward the sun. The rays spilling over her illuminated her golden skin and freckles, making her glow with vitality. Clenching my hands, I kept them by my side instead of caressing her cheek like I wanted to do. I couldn’t get over the lust and tenderness she stirred in me.