Good Morning Heartache (14 page)

“If you had to work, I mean
really had to work, I think you would have found a way out of it.”

Alexis was right. In many
ways he was dreading going back to the city and seeing everyone in the office,
especially the schmuck that got his job, but he didn't want to think about that
right now.

“I think I am going to go
for a swim. You wanna come?” Alexis stood up and untied the sarong from around
her hips. She laid it across the lounge chair, tossed the big hat on top of it,
and turned back to Ryan for an answer.

He ran his eyes over every
curve of her body, noted every freckle. The pulse of desire tugged at him, but
he had to at least try to squelch the temptation. Put a little distance between
them.

“No, not yet.” He rubbed his
stomach. “I just ate.”

“Suit yourself,” she said
and walked to an opening on the south side of the deck that led directly to the
beach.

Ryan took in all that she had
to offer: the curves of her breasts and hips, her long toned legs. That feeling
continued to twist in him. It was a flutter of craving and something else. He
pushed the something else to the back of his mind, where he wanted it, and
appreciated everything about the woman walking away from him.

The craving enslaved him.
Throbbed through him. He had to bed her again, at least one more time. That
would make this little weekend trip truly relaxing. Ryan fantasized that he
followed her into the water, and he undressed her right there in the waves. Or
that they made use of the private beach. Rolled around in the sand, let the
waves sink them deeper into the beach, and drew in the salty air with heavy
breaths.

He stood up from his chair
and walked to the edge of the deck. The wet swimsuit was clinging to Alexis's
body more tightly than when she was dry. She ran her fingers through her
dripping hair, and when she saw him looking at her she waved at him to join
her. To help himself to his fantasies. But as he moved toward the beach, he
stopped himself.

He couldn't do it. Not out
there or in the house. Alexis had made it perfectly clear that their naked time
together extended only to that one night, and as much as Ryan wanted to fight
her on it, it wouldn't be fair. If there was one thing he was against, it was
having sex with someone who didn't want to have sex with him.

Ryan took a final lingering
look at the figure standing in the tide splashing water on her bare skin before
waving her off. He hadn’t exercised yet, and a nice hour jog along the shore
seemed like the best idea he’d had all week. He descended the stairs and ran
away from the beautiful woman in the water.

§

It had been exactly what
Alexis was looking for. The day went by slowly, peacefully, and she rarely
thought of the crap that waited for her at home. Ryan eventually turned out to
be really good company—when he finally returned from his jog—and after some prodding,
she learned that he was recently passed over for a promotion because of his
lack of social skills. She guessed that this mini vacation was as good for him
as it was for her.

They spent the afternoon
drinking, margaritas for her and beer for him. Sue was nice enough to bring
over some cold cuts for lunch.

Ryan decided that it would
be best if they stayed in for dinner because they had been drinking all
afternoon; though, Alexis had stopped sipping margaritas several hours earlier.
She was pretty sure that he didn't want to get into her car while she was
driving sober and would do anything to avoid any unnecessary driving. He even
made her another margarita after she suggested that they go out.

Instead, they sat on floor
pillows in front of the wood-burning stove eating pizza. The cold breeze of the
evening blew on their sun-warmed backs, and the room was lit only with the
pinks and oranges of the setting sun and the flicker of the fire.

“Why don't you quit?” Alexis
asked through a cheesy bite.

“Quit what?”

She understood his
confusion. They weren't talking about his job and hadn't been for a long while,
but it bothered her that he could just submit to being passed over by his
bosses so easily. Ryan seemed angry when he was talking about losing the promotion
to someone else. It was the first time that he really seemed to care about
anything, and the first time that she really understood why he was so adamant
about working on his social skills.

“Your job. They don't
deserve you.”

Ryan glared at her a little,
but she just shrugged it off. “That's not how it works. I can't just quit a
prestigious architecture firm. If I want to get noticed for my designs, I have
to be in an influential crowd. And they're it.”

Alexis took another bite and
washed it down with her margarita. It was so salty she grimaced for a moment
before she was able to continue. “There's got to be another way. You’re a
freaking workhorse.”

“I don't know of one.” He
picked up the wrought-iron fire poker and shifted the logs for a little bit. “How'd
we get on this again? Like I told you before, it's out of my control. I just
have to accept it and try harder from this point on.”

“But you’re not trying
harder. You’re here with me on a weekend when you’re usually working. I don’t
think you want this as much as you say.”

“Drop it,” he said sternly.
Then he changed his tone and added a softer, “Please.”

Alexis wanted to protest,
but she didn't have the heart to make him continue. Ryan had apparently accepted
his fate. She was jealous because she wished she could accept the fact that she
wasn't a writer—just someone who wrote something once.

With her bare foot, Alexis
pushed the half-full pizza box across the wooden floor and out of the way. She
was trying to frame a question that she had wanted to ask all day but couldn't
figure out a way to ask it without it sounding like an insult, but she couldn't
hold back any more. She had to know. “Why are you like me?” was what came out.

He narrowed his blue eyes at
her, amusement apparent in them. “What do you mean?”

“You're thirty-something.
You’re alone. Why don't you want a relationship? Why haven't you staked your
claim on a woman?” She feared for a moment that he was going to mistake her motivation
for asking the question. That he was going to think that she wanted a
relationship, and she shifted uncomfortably on her cushion away from him.

Ryan turned his gaze to the
popping fire and responded flatly, “I don't think that I would be good at a
relationship. No one deserves to have a spouse who’s guaranteed to fail.”

“I think you'd be a good
significant other. You’re loyal to a fault, you listen well, and after a while,
your reprehensible social skills are not as apparent. You work hard, and you're
a fantastic lover.” Even as she was rambling off the reasons he would be great
for a girl, Alexis was scolding herself. What the hell was she doing? If she
were in his shoes and these things were being said to her, she would have
booked it by now.

But Ryan just sat with a
blank expression on his face, reflecting on what she was saying. He didn't seem
as startled as she was and was considering something seriously.

“I do work hard. Too hard. I
don't spend much time not working. That's not fair in a relationship. I don't have
time for it, especially now.”

Alexis watched as he lowered
his head. The long strands of brown hair veiled his telling eyes. She had a lot
of respect for what he just said. It took a real man to understand his
limitations, even if the only one was time.

Ryan turned his head and
looked into her eyes. “Besides, with the exception of you, I don't trust women.
They’re too fickle, and even when they know what they want, they don't ask for
it directly. They spend too much time playing games. That's what I like about
you, Alexis. You don't mess around; you don't try to bullshit the situation.
You just tell it like it is. It's a relief that I don’t have to try and figure
out what game you’re playing.”

Alexis felt a wave of
gratitude wash through her. No one had really appreciated her for what she was,
the only thing she felt she could be. She'd hurt too many feelings and cut too
many ties for people to appreciate her honesty. Especially a man she’d slept
with.

Before she knew what she was
doing or what she really wanted, Alexis leaned over to Ryan, placed a hand on
his strong, rounded shoulder, and kissed him on the cheek just above the
trimmed beard that was barely more than a five o'clock shadow.

Ryan lifted his head and
turned to her. Their faces were only a few inches apart, and Alexis could feel
his warm breath on her chin. Alexis's heart pounded with anticipation. She
wanted to lean in and chew on his full bottom lip. Her loins warmed and tingled,
the sensations growing with each breath.

Ryan raised his hands and
ran his fingers through her hair until he was gently holding the back of her
head. He pulled her toward him and then down and placed his lips on the top of
her forehead for a long moment. Alexis closed her eyes and moved to find his
mouth with hers, but he released her completely and stood up.

“I'm going to go upstairs
for a little bit,” he said and his long strides quickly took him out of the
room.

Alexis sat in a puddle of
disappointment. What the hell had just happened? She had never shared an
intimate moment like that with a man and had him take off the next moment
without taking the sex he was fairly due.

Every inch of her skin was
alive and begging for his touch and warmth. She heard his heavy footsteps on
the floor above her, calling her to him.

She sprung up from the floor
and bounded across the room to the narrow staircase. The silkiness of her long,
draping tank top heightened the awareness of her skin and want for touch. Ryan's
touch.

Alexis stopped in front of
the closed door. Her whole body was conscious that he was on the other side,
but she couldn't raise a closed fist to knock. It was too dangerous. Ryan was
someone she knew. After today, she might even consider him a friend, and she
couldn't bed him and forget him. It would mean something. At least to him.

She lifted her heels to turn
on the balls of her feet and tiptoe away, but the door opened with a swell of
cool night air engulfing her, and she fell back on her heels. Ryan nearly ran
her over, but the end result was that their bodies were lightly touching from
chests to thighs. Ryan had removed his t-shirt and was wearing only his dry
swimsuit.

Taking a sharp breath in,
Alexis caught his musk, and her skin set fire as her breasts rose and pressed
against his chest more fully. Alexis began stammering something; she wasn't
sure what, an apology maybe, but before she could turn away, he was holding her
head in his hands and his mouth was covering hers with hot, wet kisses.

His tongue slid into her
mouth, urgently searching for hers. He slid his arms down around her waist and
pulled her tight against his hard body, his stiff erection pressed firmly
against her pelvis.

Alexis laced her fingers
into his hair, rose onto her toes to deepen the kiss. Their tongues tangled and
kneaded one another. Ryan tasted like salt and beer, and she wanted to drink as
much as she could from him. Alexis begged him for more by pulling him even
closer and tighter against the front of her body.

Her mind told her to stop—to
find someone else. There would be plenty of people in town that she could get
her rocks off with, but her body pushed forward with Ryan. Every hair that rose
on her arms and stomach was for lust for him, and no one else would do. She
ignored the warning of her mind, and immersed herself in the contact between
his body and hers.

Ryan slid his hands
underneath her bottom and pulled her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist,
and he pulled her into the bedroom, closing the door with the weight of their
knotted bodies. He carried her to the soft bed and lay her down on it. As he
stepped away from her, her body rebelled. She grabbed at his arms and shoulders
trying to pull him on top of her, but he remained firm and even deprived her of
his kiss.

She whimpered with
disappointment, but he just smiled at her and said, “It'll be worth it.” He ran
a strong, rough hand under her fuchsia tank top. As he touched her skin, her
body raised up to meet his hand. His hand glided to the bottom edge of her
black lace bandeau bra and slipped under the elastic band. As he leaned forward
and placed his burning mouth on the indentation on the front of her neck, he
reached for one of her nipples and twisted it gently between two fingers before
releasing it and massaging her full, round breast in his large hand.

He yanked her shirt and bra
over her head and tossed them on the other side of the bed. Teasing a nipple
with his tongue, he ran a hand down her flat stomach to the button on her
shorts. Effortlessly, he flicked it open with two fingers while he planted wet
kisses on her chin and cheeks.

Alexis wanted him on her,
his weight crushing her so she could barely breathe, but he lay beside her,
languidly teasing her breasts with his tongue and slipped his hand into her
panties. Two of his fingers parted her flesh, finding her moistness. He ran the
length of one finger along her clitoris. A sharp, intense pleasure shot up her
stomach, through her belly button, and into her throat that couldn't contain
it, releasing it into a loud, eye-rolling moan.

Ryan stopped nibbling on her
breast and his cerulean eyes scanned her face. A smile slowly crept across his
lips.

“I told you it’d be worth
it. Just a little more.”

The warm ache radiated
through her body, pulsing with every stroke of Ryan’s finger, and she didn't
know how much more she could handle without letting go completely.

Ryan's mouth didn't return
to her nipple. Instead, he made short work of removing her shorts and panties
and planted a kiss on her newly revealed hip bone and then on her inner thigh,
so close to her lips that his rough beard brushed against them abrasively,
erotically. He moved his mouth to her center. She tried to protest, but he
hushed her and moved in.