Good to Me (30 page)

“No, ma’am.”

“What happened that you were suicidal?”

“I was overwhelmed with life. I’m a minister, a therapist, and a single mom. Those roles are hard enough, but I take care
of myself pretty well. But all in a matter of hours things started snowballing. An employee of mine needed my help, then I
found out the building I rent space from for my practice was in foreclosure, then I received papers from my ex-husband informing
me that he was taking me to court for custody of our six-year-old son, and when a client of mine stopped taking his medicine
and became psychotic and got into my home, I couldn’t take it. I woke up Tuesday morning and was convinced that I didn’t have
any other options.”

“That is a lot of stuff happening at one time. Do you feel prepared to return home and handle those things?”

“Oh yes. This little ordeal has taught me that I have been on the right track, but just doing things the wrong way. I have
learned that nothing is worth my life.” She looked the social worker in the eyes. “Nothing.”

“Do you have a therapist? Or need a therapist?”

“No to both of your questions. I have plenty of support, but I’ve been too prideful and stubborn to use them. As you can see,
my whole family is close. I have the support of them and my church family, and I have good friends.”

“Do you think you need to be hospitalized?”

“No, I don’t need to be hospitalized. I’m not suicidal, or homicidal, or experiencing any other psychiatric problems.”

The social worker stopped writing. “All right. We’re done.”

“What’s the next step?”

“You just completed it. I’ll write up a report for your doctor, letting him know that I’ve seen you and that I second his
recommendation for discharge. You don’t meet criteria for hospitalization.”

“Thank you, thank you so much.”

The social worker was leaving when Mama Lorraine and the rest of the entourage walked in. “The prayers of the righteous availeth
much,” Charity said. “The doctor should be here shortly to discharge me.”

“Thank the Lord,” Iesha said, walking in behind her parents.

“Momma, where’d y’all go?”

“We went to eat. You hungry?”

“I want something, but it has to be light.”

Mr. Brown said, “We can stop and get you a baked potato and salad, or soup on the way home.”

“I’ll try that.”

Mama Lorraine didn’t look up while she was packing Charity’s belongings. “I had a taco salad from downstairs, it was good.”

Charity turned up her nose. “That’s too heavy. I can’t eat that.”

“Cherry, I’mma go ask when they think youll be ready to go. Hopefully it’ll be in time enough where you can go with Momma
and Daddy to pick Zavey up.”

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Mama Lorraine said. “I like ringing this nurse’s button.” She pressed the button.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, this is Mrs. Brown. Do you know what time we’ll be discharged?”

“Tell Ms. Phillips that we’re working on her discharge papers now. I’ll say she should be ready to go in less than an hour.
Okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

She summoned for her father to help her out of the bed. “Daddy, you’re strong.”

Iesha laughed. “You only weigh a buck-o-five.”

“Watch it, now. You do want to live to get married, don’t you? Speaking of which, have ya’ll set a date?”

“Not quite. We were waiting until you recovered.”

“Well, I’m recovered. When’s the wedding?”

“Sometime next year. We’ve got a lot of learning about each other to do.”

“I don’t understand how y’all do things these days,” Mr. Brown said. “Y’all be engaged for years.”

“Me and your daddy got married in a day.”

Charity said, “That’s because you went to the justice of the peace.”

“And we’ve never looked back,” Mr. Brown said, patting his wife on the behind.

“Get a room,” Iesha blurted.

They continued talking until the nurse came in with Charity’s discharge papers and explained them to her. Her father helped
her into the wheelchair and wheeled her out of the hospital. On the way to her father’s van, she noticed the wooded lot on
the hospital’s lawn. There was a single white picnic table in the middle of a landscape of trees. She kept her eyes on the
area. It seemed like she’d been there before.

WHEN TERRENCE HELPED IESHA OUT OF THE CAR,
she gripped his hand tightly and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Honey, you sure you’re ready for this?”

Terrence opened his trench coat and wrapped Iesha in it. “I’m fine,” he assured her. “Nervous, but fine.” He bent down to
kiss her on the lips.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. The kids are going to love you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I am right.” This time she kissed him fully. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“School’s out,” he whispered, interrupting the kiss.

Iesha turned around to see children filing out of the building. She turned back to face him, “What are you doing?”

Terrence was using the rearview mirror to smooth his hair, his light beard, and goatee. “Trying to make a good first impression.”
He smoothed his coat with his hands.

“They’re seven and nine, honey. Candy will get you a lot farther than your handsome face.”

“You should’ve told me,” he smiled. “I would’ve stopped by the store.”

“Too late.” She pointed. “Here they come now.”

Iesha took a few steps ahead of Terrence to meet her kids. “Hey, guys. Did you have a good day in school?” They both nodded
but their eyes were fixed on Terrence. “Good. I have someone I want you to meet. Remember I told you about Mr. Terrence? He
wanted to come and meet you. Say hey.”

“Hey,” Raquan shyly muttered from where he was.

Sha-Lai was a little more animated as she waved.

“Hello. I bet you’re Raquan,” Terrence playfully said to Sha-Lai.

“Noooo. Sha-Lai.”

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful young lady.” Sha-Lai blushed. Terrence turned to the boy who was practically attached
to Iesha’s leg. “You must be Raquan?” he asked.

Raquan nodded slowly.

“Give me five, man.”

Terrence seemed to relax when Raquan slapped his hand.

“He’ll warm up to you,” Iesha promised. “He’s a little shy.”

Iesha was surprised to hear Raquan speak. “You gone marry my momma?”

“Quit asking stupid questions,” Sha-Lai scolded. “Momma already told you that.”

Terrence bent down to talk with them. “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you two about. I wanted to know if it was okay
with you.’’

Sha-Lai and Raquan looked at each other and giggled. Sha-Lai shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Momma?”

“Guys, Mr. Terrence is so sweet. Look at him, he’s cute. He’s smart. He loves God. He makes me happy. I want to marry him.”

If the sun had shone as bright as the kids’ smiles, the temperature would have gone up forty degrees. Terrence knelt before
Iesha. “Ms. Iesha Brown, will you take me to be your husband, to love and to cherish?”

“I will,” she agreed.

“Sha-Lai, will you take me to be your stepfather?”

She covered her uneven-toothed grin with her hand. “I will.”

Even Raquan was eagerly awaiting his turn. “Raquan, will you take me… to the skating rink, and fishing, and to the beach?”

Raquan laughed. “Yes.”

“And will you take me to be your stepfather?”

“Yes.”

“Good, ’cause this cement is cold.” Terrence stood up. “Group hug?”

They huddled and hugged.

Iesha began to sing the Barney song about loving and being a family.

“Momma, you’re embarrassing,” Sha-Lai said, breaking the hug to look around for witnesses.

“Quick, Sha-Lai. Get in the car before anyone sees you.” Terrence opened the car door for her to jump in. Raquan slid in behind
her.

“Y’all be careful. Don’t mess up Mr. Terrence’s car.”

“Shhhh,” Terrence lightly whispered to her. “Leave them alone.”

“Okay,” she said, getting into the passenger seat. “You remember that.”

Iesha could not describe the way she felt if she tried. She was finally participating in the family life she had been observing.
In the past, whenever she saw fathers with their children, driving their families, or a man and a woman holding hands, she
got overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness; with Terrence, her longing was over.

She stole glances at him as he drove to her house for dinner. This was her best Valentine’s Day ever. To show him appreciation,
she offered to cook for him her best dish—spaghetti. A part of her was ashamed of her meager governmental housing, especially
since Mama Lorraine always called it nasty. But she knew that Terrence would not criticize her.

“Do we need to stop by the store for anything?” Terrence asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“No, I got everything I needed earlier.”

Sha-Lai spoke up from the backseat. “I want something from the store.”

“Yeah, can we get some bubble gum? Please, Momma. Pul-leeze.”

“Don’t nobody want no bubble gum, stupid.”

Iesha could feel her blood rising. “Come on, guys, that’s enough. Sha-Lai, what have I told you about calling your brother
names?”

“Sorry,” she halfway apologized.

Terrence turned into a convenience store parking lot. “That was nice for you to apologize, Sha-Lai,” he said.

“What are you doing?” Iesha asked.

“Going to get some bubble gum and a treat for Sha-Lai for apologizing.”

Iesha looked back and saw the smile on Sha-Lai’s face. “No, that’s what she’s supposed to do. She shouldn’t have been calling
him stupid.”

“Well, I’m here now. You can just give it to them later then.”

“No, neither of them have done nothing extra special that they should get a treat.”

“I don’t like going back and forth in front of them,” said Terrence. “Maybe we should do this some other time.”

“I think that’s a good idea because I don’t want you to feel like you have to buy their affection.”

“I’m not buying their affection, I’m just buying bubble gum.”

“Let’s just go on to the house, please,” said Iesha, trying to be as civilized as she possibly could. She didn’t want the
drama queen to come out.

“I think we agree that this is not a good time to talk about this,” Terrence said.

Iesha just turned her head and looked out the window.
He doesn’t want to get me started.
The rest of the ride was silent. Not even the kids spoke. Iesha wondered what the silence meant. She lied to herself thinking
that if he no longer wanted to marry her that she was okay with it. She wanted to let him know that she was okay but being
weak was not her style. She rolled her eyes at her thoughts.
I am not going to be a doormat.
She sat reservedly in her seat with her arms crossed until they got to her house.

She got out of the car before Terrence could make it around to open the car door for her.

“Honey, are you okay?”

Iesha opened the door for the kids and without looking at him said, “Uhm hum.”

“You sure?”

She did not want to be like this but she didn’t know how to act otherwise. “Look, Terrence, I said I was okay.” She slammed
his car door shut and walked before him to the porch.
Please, God, help me,
she pleaded.

“Let me get that for you,” Terrence offered.

She had never noticed how loudly the storm door squealed until he pulled it open for her. It irritated her even more. “What
do you think I did before you got here?” she asked him. “I’m not some weak woman who needs rescuing. I take care of my own
chaps, I open my own doors, I cook my own food, I cut my own grass, and I can even do my own oil changes. So, if you think
I’mma turn into one of those prisses who don’t do jack, you got another think coming.”

When Terrence didn’t respond, she went into the house. With an attitude, she said to him, “Welcome to our humble abode. It’s
not much, but there are a lot of people living in big, fancy houses and are miserable. But we have a home here and we are
happy.” Sha-Lai and Raquan were just as quiet as Terrence. Iesha knew she must’ve been making a fool of herself. “Kids, go
to your room. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.” She did not have to tell them twice, they were gone before she closed her
mouth.

“Well?” she asked, trying to provoke a response from Terrence.

“Well, what?”

“Well, aren’t you going to talk to me?”

“I want to talk to you but I don’t want to argue with you.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“For starters this is the first time I’ve been inside your house. Are you going to show me around?”

She softened. “There’s really nothing to show, but if you want to see it, I’ll take you on a grand tour.” She knew he must’ve
been glad to see her smile. As quickly as she could, she walked him through the house. She wasn’t expecting any compliments
since she never received any. They ended up in the kitchen. She washed her hands and pulled the half-baked spaghetti casserole
out of the refrigerator. Terrence washed his hands in the sink, too. Together they cut up the ingredients for a salad.

By the way he approached her, she knew he was treading lightly. “Honey, I hope you don’t really believe that I think you are
a weak woman. Because don’t. I open doors for you and pull chairs out for you because that’s the way my father taught me.
That kind of a lifestyle is a compliment, not an insult. And so is what I want to ask you. This is not meant to demean you
in any way. Would you be okay with you and the kids moving into my house?”

Iesha could have jumped for joy but she couldn’t let him see that. “Move into your house? Do you have enough room for me and
two kids?”

“Honey, this is all predestined by God. I remember when I found my house, I didn’t know why I felt led to buy such a big house,
but I loved it. And I believe by faith that you will too.”

“I can’t wait to see it. It seems so weird that we’re engaged and I haven’t been to your house or met your parents.”

“Well, we have had some things happen to slow us down a bit. Do you want this cut up too?”