Gooney Bird on the Map (6 page)

"William Henry Harrison never even
went
to the beach, poor guy," Gooney Bird said.

Without any announcement from Gooney Bird, the second grade observed a moment of silence. Poor President Harrison.

Ben went next. He was well prepared, because his family had been planning their ski trip for a long time. Ben knew exactly how to find Sugarbush, Vermont, on their packed-snow map.

"There," he said, after he had poked his flagpole into the snow. "If I had a lot of flags, I could make it look like a slalom course! Whoosh whoosh whoosh, this is me, snowboarding down between the flags! That's what I'm gonna be doing on vacation!
In Style
!"

"I bet you fall and break your leg," muttered Malcolm.

"
Snowboard down the slope, and you actin' like a dope...
" Tyrone chanted.

"Chelsea?" said Gooney Bird. "You're next!"

Chelsea, holding her flag, moved forward slightly onto the map. She started toward California. Then she stopped, and hung her head.

"What's wrong,
QT
?" asked Mrs. Pidgeon.

"Nothing."

"Don't you want to plant your flag?"

But Chelsea shook her head. "I asked my mom if we could go to California during our school vacation. But she said not unless we win the lottery." She looked up. "She said we could go to the pizza place one night, though."

"I see. Well, the pizza place sounds like fun."

"Not as much fun as Hawaii!" shouted Barry.

"Or Disney World!" called Beanie.

"Or Sugarbush, Vermont!" said Ben in a loud voice.

Chelsea began to cry.

Mrs. Pidgeon put her arm around Chelsea. She looked around. "Felicia Ann?" she said. "You're next in the alphabet.
What's Up
?"

"I'm going to the public library," Felicia Ann said in a very small voice.

"Well, that's always exciting," Mrs. Pidgeon said. She glared at Barry, Beanie, and Ben. "Anyone want to go next? Anyone else got a vacation spot to show us?"

One by one the children shook their heads. "I'm going to my grandma's," Nicholas said, "but it's just down the street. Really
Magic. NOT!
"

"I'm going to the movies," Tyrone said. "My dad said he'd take me."

"
Cool Dude,
" muttered Malcolm.

"Keiko?" Mrs. Pidgeon suggested. "How about you,
Sweet Thing
?"

But Keiko said no. "I'm not going anyplace. I'm going to help in my parents' store during vacation."

"Do you get to do the cash register?" Malcolm asked.

"No. But I arrange the fruit. I can make a really beautiful pyramid out of oranges."

"Oh, lovely, Keiko," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "Anyone else? Who has a vacation destination?"

"Not me."

"Not me."

"We're not going anywhere
ever again
" Mal- ^ colm complained, "because of the triplets."

"I'm not going anywhere either," Mrs. Pidgeon said. "I promised my husband I'd spend the vacation finishing a sweater that I started knitting for him in 2004."

"
U Go, Girl,
" Tyrone said, and high-fived the teacher.

"Gooney Bird?" Mrs. Pidegon asked. "What about you? This was your idea."

"And it was a pretty good one," Gooney Bird said in a tentative voice. "We learned a lot about maps."

"But where are you going for vacation, Gooney Bird? Someplace
Très Chic
?" asked Felicia Ann.

Gooney Bird sighed. "I'm staying home," she confessed. "I'm planning to write a novel."

Everyone stared at the big snow-packed map and its three chopstick flagpoles in Hawaii, Vermont, and Florida. They looked very small and far apart.

"We could make a math problem out of this," Mrs. Pidgeon suggested. "If there are twelve people, and three of them go off on a vacation, then how many are left?"

No one said anything. Finally Keiko murmured, "Nine."

"If we put our nine flags here, in this town, it would look like a porcupine sitting on the map," Chelsea observed glumly.

"I have an idea," Barry announced. "How about a moment of silence for everybody in this whole second grade except for me..."

"And me!" Beanie said with a grin.

"AND ME!" Ben shouted.

Everyone was very silent. Felicia Ann sniffled quietly and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

"My feet are cold," Nicholas said, after a moment.

"Well," Mrs. Pidgeon suggested. "Let's go inside and regroup."

Inside the classroom, with their outdoor jackets hanging up again and their boots standing in pairs by their cubbies, the second-graders took their seats glumly. Their map project had not been the success they had hoped it would be.

"What're we going to tell the other kids?" Nicholas asked.

"Yes," said Ben, "what about Marlon Washington? He said our project was just a big mess, and we said just wait till it's done! But now he's going to say it's
really
just a big mess!"

Mrs. Pidgeon glanced through the window, down to the playground where the map was.

"The oceans are so blue and beautiful," she said with a sigh. "We really did make a wonderful map. Surely we can think of some educational way to use it.

"Barry?" she asked. "You're the
Whiz Kid
. Any ideas?"

Barry shook his head.

"I know a card game called 'spit in the ocean'! How about if we all go down and spit in..." Malcolm suggested. But his voice trailed off and he didn't even finish his sentence.

"You're really a
Class Act,
Malcolm," Chelsea said, and rolled her eyes.

"So?" Malcolm replied. "You got a better idea,
QT
?"

But Chelsea didn't.

"Well," said Mrs. Pidgeon, "let's get out our math books. Gooney Bird, would you pass around these worksheets?" She handed some papers to Gooney Bird, who stood and began to hand one to each child.

At the rear corner of the room, Gooney Bird stopped, suddenly, and began to look at something on a shelf near the supply closet. "We didn't get worksheets over here!" Ben called.

"Oops, sorry," Gooney Bird said, and passed the rest of the sheets to the students in Ben's group of desks. Then she went back and looked again at the shelf. After a moment, she picked up a maroon cardboard box.

Malcolm's hand shot up. "Mrs. Pidgeon!

Mrs. Pidgeon! Gooney Bird took a puzzle from the puzzle shelf! That's not fair! It's math time! Nobody can do a puzzle during math time!"

Mrs. Pidgeon walked to Malcolm's desk and put her calm-down hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Malcolm," she said. "Gooney?" she asked. "What are you doing?"

Gooney Bird didn't answer. She closed her eyes and stood very still. "I'm thinking," she said. "Excuse me for a moment."

Everyone in the room waited. They all watched Gooney Bird, who had now reached into the pocket of the plaid shirt she was wearing today over her red tights. She removed a pair of glasses and put them on, carefully arranging the silver frames around her ears.

"My vision is perfect," she said. "But I feel that sometimes wearing glasses improves concentration. I got these at the Salvation Army store."

"Can you
see
through them?" Keiko asked, in a concerned voice.

"Blurry," Gooney Bird replied. "But seeing blurry helps me think. Mrs. Pidgeon, may I stand here thinking while the class does the worksheets? I'll do mine at home tonight."

Mrs. Pidgeon considered that. "All right," she decided. "How much time do you need?"

"About four minutes and thirty seconds, I think," Gooney Bird said.

"Very well," said Mrs. Pidgeon, glancing at the clock.

Exactly four minutes and seventeen seconds later, Gooney Bird carefully removed her glasses, folded them, and replaced them in her pocket. Carrying the maroon box, she returned to her desk and sat. She was smiling.

"You have an idea, don't you?" Felicia Ann asked. Then she remembered her own candy-heart name. "
What's Up
?"

Gooney Bird grinned.

"You have an idea about our map?" asked Malcolm.

She nodded.

Mrs. Pidgeon collected the math papers quickly. "Let's hear it!" she said to Gooney Bird.

Gooney Bird opened the box. It was filled with oddly shaped wooden puzzle pieces. "Mrs. Pidgeon," she said, "could you read me the list of class names backwards? I mean alphabetically, from the bottom up?"

"Sure," the teacher said. "I'll just read them from the list on the wall. From the bottom: TYRONE."

Gooney Bird shuffled around in the wooden pieces and took one out. "Here you go,
Cool Dude,
" she said, and handed the piece to Tyrone, who looked at it, pumped his fist in the air, and said, "Yes! Texas!"

"TRICIA," Mrs. Pidgeon said.

Tricia reached for the puzzle piece that Gooney Bird gave her. "
Pucker Up
!" she said with a grin, and gave her wooden piece a kiss. "Tennessee!"

"Next: NICHOLAS," Mrs. Pidgeon said.

"Wait a minute," Gooney Bird told her, and held out another piece. "You come next, Mrs. Pidgeon. P for Patsy!
U Go, Girl
!" The teacher examined the puzzle piece Gooney Bird handed her. "Hmm," she said. "Pennsylvania. Thanks!"

Then it was time for Nicholas. "Abracadabra,
Magic
!" said Gooney Bird, and gave him Nebraska. Malcolm got Massachusetts, and Keiko smiled when she looked down and saw Kentucky on her piece. "
What's Up
?" asked Felicia Ann with a giggle, and was given Florida. "Here you go,
QT
" Gooney Bird said to Chelsea next, and presented her with the long narrow wooden piece that was California. Then she placed the maroon jigsaw puzzle box on the top of her desk and looked around the room. "Everyone got a state with an initial that matches yours?" she asked, and the children held up their puzzle pieces. All but three.

"I don't!" called Beanie.

"Neither do I!" Barry said.

"Where's mine?" asked Ben.

"Oops!" Gooney Bird responded. "Let me look in the box again. There are a lot more pieces." She shook it, and the wooden pieces rattled inside. She opened the lid, shuffled the pieces around, removed some, and then said, "Nicholas? Here you are!"

Nicholas came forward and she filled his cupped hands. "He already had Nebaska," Gooney Bird explained. "Now: presto!
Magic!
He has Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, and North Dakota." Nicholas looked astonished at first. Then he grinned and went back to his desk with the stack of puzzle pieces.

"That's not fair!" Ben called loudly.

"Well," said Gooney Bird, "there are more pieces. Let me take another look." She shuffled the remaining pieces around in the box.

"Wow! This guy's really a
Class Act
!" Gooney Bird exclaimed. "Come get yours, Malcolm! Hold out your hands!" Malcolm stood, tripped over his own untied shoelace briefly, then righted himself, and came to collect the pieces as she named them. "Malcolm already had Massachusetts. Now he gets Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, and Montana!" Malcolm, who so often looked unhappy, was grinning broadly as he went back to his desk. All of the children clapped and cheered. All but three.