Gorgeous Consort (17 page)

“Why?” she whispered.

“I really don’t know, Harper. I wish I did.”

She rubbed my chest then kissed the skin over my heart. Her hair moved across my skin, touching me lightly and making me feel calm. She kissed the area again then moved her lips to mine.

I wanted to stay like this forever. I really didn’t know how I felt or what everything meant, but I knew something else was between us. I couldn’t put my finger on it and neither could she. But I knew one thing.

I didn’t want to share her with anyone.

Harper

When Aspen walked into my office, I immediately knew why she was there. That kiss with Troy wouldn’t go overlooked, and she probably went by my apartment later that night and realized I wasn’t there. Where else would I be except with Troy?

She approached my desk with a knowing look in her eyes. “Lunch?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.”

I sighed then saved the document on my computer. “Where do you want to go?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.” Her voice was clipped, like she was angry or disappointed in me. She was probably hurt I didn’t tell her about Troy. And it was understandable.

I grabbed my purse. “How about Chinese?”

“Whatever.” She never said that.

I let the comment slide.

Together, we left and walked a few blocks to the Chinese place we always went to. The silence was awkward, and Aspen clearly wasn’t going to speak until she had me cornered at a table. I went through her words in my mind, anticipating what she might say or do. But in the end, I didn’t really care. I didn’t like lying and I was terrible at it.

Once we got a table and ordered our waters, Aspen pounced.

“How long has it been going on?”

The smart thing would be to lie about the whole thing. I already had a cover story in mind but I didn’t want to use it. Aspen was my best friend and it felt wrong to mislead her. “About two months.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hurt was in her voice.

“Because it’s not what you think.”

“How do you mean?”

I took a deep breath before I explained everything to her.

“So, he’s using you to get over Alexia, and you’re using him to pretend to be your boyfriend to your family?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re sleeping with him?”

“Actually…no. We haven’t slept together.”

Aspen seemed more confused. “Okay…”

“Every time we’re about to do it he chickens out. He doesn’t understand why, but his brother thinks Troy can’t be with someone else unless he’s in love with them. That’s why he’s struggling so much. I’m starting to believe the same thing.”

“But you guys do other things?” she asked.

“Yeah. And we spend a lot of time together. Actually, I see him almost every day. He’s quickly become my best friend, and I can’t remember the last time I slept alone.”

She studied me for a long time, her thoughts unguarded. “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”

I knew it was written all over my face. I was shocked Troy hadn’t picked up on it. It was something I didn’t expect to happen. There were a lot of things about him I didn’t like, but the things I did like about him I loved. “Yeah…”

“Be careful, Harper,” she said. “You’re already in so deep.”

“I know. But call me crazy, I think he feels the same way.”

“He seemed pretty upset when he ran into Alexia the other night,” she reasoned.

“He was,” I agreed. “But I don’t think he misses her. I think he just fears what she represents—pain. And he got so jealous when he thought I was with Cato.”

“That’s true.”

“And he’s said things to me…”

“Like what?” she asked.

“That I’m the only woman he can picture himself with. That he’s never been so jealous in his life. That I’m his best friend and the only person who understands him…” In my heart, I thought there was a real possibility that Troy felt what I did. It wasn’t just a fantasy anymore. It was a real possibility. We could have what I wanted to have. But he just needed a little more time to figure it out.

“He really said that?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

“He needs more time, and he needs to realize it on his own. If and when he does sleep with me, I’ll talk to him then.”

“That makes sense.” She still seemed down, hurt.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Troy and I were supposed to be a short-term fling but it just went haywire. I never anticipated I would feel this way about him. He’s a cocky asshole on the outside, but when I got to know him underneath, I realized he was nothing like that. He’s actually…pretty amazing.”

Aspen’s hurt aura disappeared, and a smile stretched her lips. “I’m happy for you.”

“I wouldn’t say that yet…”

“Rhett only says amazing things about Troy, so I think you’re right to assume he’s a great person. Men aren’t as clear-minded as women. I’m sure Troy does feel the same way about you, but he might not realize it. And I think it’s smart to wait until he figures it out on his own. Otherwise, it might just push him away.”

“Exactly,” I said.

“How amazing would it be if you and Troy got married and me and Rhett got married?” She squirmed in her seat in excitement.

“Let’s not get carried away…”

“But wouldn’t that be amazing!”

“It would.” I entertained the idea for a moment and felt a thrill shoot up my spine. Just staying at Troy’s beach house with him was my idea of a fantasy. Lying together in bed after making love and whispering words of devotion was what I craved. When I realized the extent of my feelings, the weight of reality set on my shoulders.

I was in love with Troy.

How did that happen?

Troy

I was getting my files at Beautiful Entourage when Cato walked inside.

“Dude, what the hell?”

I grabbed my things and didn’t look at him.

“If you had a thing for Harper, you should have told me. I wouldn’t have gone for her if I’d known.”

I couldn’t look at him so I shoved everything under my arm and headed for the door.

“Talk to me, man.” He grabbed the folders and yanked them out of my grasp.

I turned to him, threatening him with my beady eyes. “Get off my ass, Cato.”

“No. I want to talk about this.”

“Are we girls now?” I hissed.

“I just don’t want you to be pissed at me. I know the rules. I would never go for your girl. I just didn’t know she was your girl. You never told me that.”

I knew Cato was getting the short stick of the situation. “I’m not pissed at you.”

“Fooled me,” he said. “You can barely look at me.”

“I’m just a little worked up over it,” I admitted. “I didn’t like watching you eye-fuck her.”

Cato released a frustrated sigh. “Again, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, okay?” He handed the folders back to me.

I took them. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asked. “Does that mean we’re cool?”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Then a stupid grin stretched his face. “So…you and Harper, huh?”

“Don’t start that shit,” I said immediately.

“Come on,” he said. “I tell you about all my girls and you tell me yours. Why is Harper different?”

“Because she is,” I said firmly.

Rhett opened the door and walked inside. When he saw us talking, a grin stretched on his face. “Fighting over Harper?”

“There’s nothing to fight about,” I said calmly.

Rhett joined the circle but stood close to Cato, like he was taking his side.

I felt outnumbered.

“So…what’s with you and Harper?” Rhett asked. “I distinctly remember you saying there was nothing going on. You lied to me?” The hurt of my betrayal was in his voice.

“I didn’t lie…exactly.”

“Then what did you do,
exactly
?” he snapped.

I didn’t mind explaining it to Rhett but not in Cato’s presence. Rhett was the only one who knew about my feelings toward Alexia. “Can we talk about this later?” I glanced at Cato.

“No, we’re talking about this now.” Rhett grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. When we were in the alleyway, he stared me down. “Now spit it out.”

I organized my thoughts then explained everything to him.

“That has to be the most fucked up thing I’ve ever heard,” Rhett snapped. “You’re sleeping with Harper to get over Alexia?”

“But I haven’t slept with her,” I argued. “I just can’t do it. I care about her too much. I can’t fuck her.”

The look in his eyes changed. “I got the distinct impression that you felt something strong for her the other night. I really thought you were going to break Cato’s arm.”

“I wanted to break both of them, actually.”

He crossed his arms over my chest and gave me that look that told me to continue speaking.

“I love being with her. She’s like my best friend. I think about her all day, and when I’m finally with her, I’m happy. She’s so cool, and she’s gorgeous. It’s like…I can’t even explain it.”

“It sounds like you’re in love with her.” There was a grin on his face.

“But I’m not,” I argued. “I’m not over Alexia.”

He sighed. “Troy, you
are
over her.”

“Then why do I hate her so much? Why do I freak out anytime I run into her? I dream about proposing to her before she throws me off a cliff. Obviously, I’m not over her.”

“When you’re with Harper, do you think about her?” he asked.

“No,” I said immediately. “But when I’m with you, I don’t think about her either. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Don’t you think you’re just bitter about the break up? That doesn’t mean you still love her.”

“But it might,” I argued. “How can I be in love with Harper if I feel this way? And I can’t offer her anything anyway. I don’t do relationships and I never will. The end.”

“You really don’t think it will be different with Harper?”

I shrugged. “It’s not worth the risk. Alexia hurt me a lot. I don’t know what I would do if I lost Harper… At least this way she’ll always be in my life.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re wrong about that.”

“How do you mean?”

“When you don’t give her what she wants, she’s going to find it elsewhere. She’s a pretty girl and has a lot of admirers. Can you really stand by and watch her be with someone else? When you could have her if you wanted to?”

The idea of anyone touching her but me sent me into a frenzy. Jealousy coursed through me and I felt sick to my stomach. Harper was my world and I didn’t want to share her with anyone. But I couldn’t risk my heart again, not like that. “I’d let her go…”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” I said sadly. “I want to keep this relationship with Harper as long as I can. And if she wants to leave…I won’t stop her.”

“Even after everything you’ve been through?” he asked incredulously. “You just told me this girl is your best friend, that when you aren’t with her all you can think about is the next time you see her. You would really throw that away?”

“She’ll just throw me away sometime down the road,” I argued.

“No, she won’t,” he said firmly.

“All relationships end one way or another,” I said. “Whether it’s through heartbreak or death. I don’t want to deal with that pain anymore.”

“So, does that mean you don’t want a relationship with me?” he challenged.

I didn’t understand his meaning. “You’re a good-looking guy, Rhett. But you aren’t my type…”

He didn’t look amused. “We aren’t romantically involved but we have a relationship. I love you and you love me. So, when I die, it’s going to hurt you. Or are you telling me you’re going to be so numb from any emotion that you just won’t care about anyone? Troy, that’s no way to live. We love people and we lose them. You can’t stop living because of it.”

“It’s not the same thing…”

“I’m your best friend, so you must love me more or equally to the woman you fall in love with. I love Aspen with everything that I have, but I also love you. If I lost either one of you the reaction would be exactly the same. But that’s going to stop me from caring about both of you.”

I raised my hand. “I know what you’re trying to do—”

“And I know you’re being an idiot,” he snapped. “Tell Harper how you feel and give it a chance. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” He gave me one final look before he walked away and left me standing there alone.

***

I walked into Harper’s apartment without knocking. “Baby, it’s me.”

“I’ll be there in a second,” she called from the bedroom.

I don’t know when I started calling her baby. It just came out.

Harper came out of the bedroom wearing jeans and a tight blouse.

“You look hot,” I blurted.

“You always look hot.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a warm greeting.

“Well, I try…”

She slapped my arm playfully. “Why are you always so full of yourself?”

“I have plenty of reasons to be full of myself.” I rubbed my nose against hers. “Can I take you out to dinner?”

“You always take me out to places. How about I take you out?” She lowered her arms and grabbed her purse.

“Miss independent…”

“You never let me pay for anything. Let me get this one.”

I wrapped my arms around her again and smothered her with kisses. “Someone wants me to do something special tonight…”

She leaned her head back and gave me access to her throat. “No. All I have to do is ask.”

I kept kissing her and felt my dick grow hard. “Now I just want to stay in and order a pizza.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

I grabbed her ass and lifted her before I carried her to bed. “Did Aspen harass you today?”

“Yes. Did Rhett?”

“Yes,” I answered. “What did you say?”

She flinched for a moment. “What we agreed on. You?”

I didn’t want to tell her all the things Rhett said to me, that I might be in love with her and I should give her a chance. I didn’t want to get her hopes up if she felt the same way. That would make me feel like a bigger jackass than I already was. “I said the same.”

She nodded but there seemed to be distant look of depression in her eyes. She kept her arms wrapped around me and held me closer. Then she locked her lips to mine as I laid her on the bed. We didn’t speak for the rest of the night. Instead, we spoke with our bodies.

***

I grabbed a mocha with soy from Starbucks then headed to her office. I knew she got out of bed at the latest time possible so she never grabbed coffee on the way. Instead, she had the crappy stuff at her office. It tasted like dead plants.

I walked inside then headed to her desk. She was typing on her computer, and her long blonde hair stretched down her back. When she recognized my presence, she turned to me. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“I was in the neighborhood so I thought I’d bring you a coffee.”

She eyed it for a moment then looked up at me, almost surprised. “That was nice of you…”

“It has soy in it. Don’t worry.”

She took a sip. “And it’s delicious. Way better than the crap we have here.”

“Well, it’s your office,” I teased.

“I have more important things to do than focus on getting better coffee.”

I leaned over the desk and kissed her like usual. This time when I pulled away, she had a different look in her eyes. I couldn’t describe it because I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. Harper and I had been different ever since that night in the bar. Our relationship was better, but it was also…different.

“What are you doing today?” she asked.

“I have to work tonight,” I said. “Other than that, nothing.”

She nodded then pulled out a few papers from her drawer.

“I wished you worked at night so we could see each other during the day. I hate being at home when you’re at work.”

She opened the folder and didn’t say anything.

“Is there something wrong…?”

“No.” She turned her eyes back to me but they seemed distant, almost hurt.

“What happened to not lying to each other?”

She sighed then turned to her secretary. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”

“Of course.” She grabbed her coffee then walked outside.

I turned back to Harper, wanting to know what she had to say.

Her voice came out strong. “You want to see me all the time. You come to my work and bring me coffee, getting my complicated order exactly right, and you want to spend every waking moment with me.” She stared at me like she was finished, like that explained everything.

“Yeah…?”

She grew frustrated. “And I’m jut a friend to you? Because you don’t act like it, Troy. You act like I mean a lot more to you, and it’s confusing me…”

“Does it bother you?”

“No, of course not. I just…you say you can’t have something more with me but you treat me like I’m your girlfriend.”

I didn’t know what to say. I’d never given much thought to my actions. I just did and said what I wanted to do and say. “You’re my friend and I love spending time with you. You’ve become my best friend…I’m not thinking when I do anything. I just do it.”

“And you don’t feel anything more for me?”

I wasn’t sure. Sometimes I thought I did. Sometimes I didn’t. “Why are you asking?”

She looked down at her hands and remained quiet. She pressed her lips firmly together then licked them with her tongue. “Sometimes I think you’re in love with me but you’re in denial about it.” Her voice shook, like she was afraid to say those words. And it seemed like she regretted saying them.