Gothic Charm School (14 page)

Oh, don't get the Lady of the Manners wrong, Snarklings. If pressed, the Lady of the Manners would have to admit that her favorite genre of fiction is vampire stories. Not only did the Lady of the Manners spend her late adolescence sighing over the vampire gang from
The Lost Boys
, but she still has a weakness for fictional gentlemen with fangs, an air of danger, and a menacing smile that possibly conceals a lonely heart. But she also gets just a bit concerned when she hears other people exclaiming rapturously over a fictional fanged bad boy, “Oh, he's the perfect man! I wish I could meet someone just like him.”

Yet, if you were to ask a lot of Goths about their interest in vampires, many of them would scoff derisively and try to downplay the vampire influence in the Goth subculture. “Sure,” a Goth may say, ‘ “Bela Lugosi's Dead' was the catalyst for modern Goth culture, but we've moved beyond that. The only people who are into the whole vampire thing anymore are fang-bangers or gaming geeks.” However, the Lady of the Manners is willing to bet at least a couple velvet cloaks and a coffin purse that a person who would say that doth protest just the teensiest bit too much.

Oh, an aside about the “fang-bangers or gaming geeks” comment: Yes, many Goths became a touch disenchanted with the whole notion of vampires when
Vampire: The Masquerade
, a role-playing game by White Wolf, became popular. Suddenly it wasn't just Goths wearing fang prosthetics and dressing up; there were people whose only connection to Goth came from a gaming book, who were coming into the clubs and playing characters. To many
Goths, that seemed silly and disrespectful. The Lady of the Manners, who freely admits to having participated in vampire RPGs, thinks that the Goths who are cranky about the LARPers (er, Live-Action Role Players) need to calm down. Yes, it is a little annoying to have someone treat you as a character in a game in which you're not involved, but there's no need to be pissy about it. The people playing vampire games aren't, on the whole, mocking the Goth subculture. They're just interested in a good story.

However, the Lady of the Manners has a gentle reminder for those readers who participate in vampire role-playing games: don't involve people who aren't part of the game. The Lady of the Manners understands the temptation, but trying to force non-players' participation in your imaginary world is not polite and may possibly get you booted out of the Goth club. Every LARP the Lady of the Manners has ever heard of always wore something that signified participation in the game; always remember to look for that token, and don't annoy the people who are looking for nothing more dramatic than an evening out.

Another reason many Goths are so derisive about the allure of the vampire is that there is indeed a flourishing vampire subculture, and while it shares many stylistic markers with Goth, the two aren't the same. The vampire (or vampyre, as the Lady of the Manners has seen it spelled to identify the subculture) community is strongly interested in all aspects and manifestations of vampires and vampirism, be it energy vampirism (psychic vampires) or blood-drinkers (sanguine vampires). Some members of the vampire community participate in blood play and blood drinking. Wait! Stop looking so alarmed! People who are part of the vampyre subculture
do not
go out and attack people. Blood play activities are done between consenting adults. The sanguine vampire types aren't out to find victims. “Consenting adults” is the im
portant phrase there, by the way. The Lady of the Manners did a bit of research and wasn't able to find
anything
implying that those blood play activities are illegal, as long as the participants agreed to them. Of course, laws vary from state to state and country to country, so if you want to explore sanguinary vampires and blood play, the Lady of the Manners strongly encourages you to do your own research.

Even with Goths wanting to differentiate themselves from vampyres and vampire LARPers, the vampire archetype still holds a strong allure for those of us in the black-clad and spooky world. Almost every Goth will be fond of at least one or two vampire novels or movies, and the opening drums of “Bela Lugosi's Dead” will drag even a hesitant
ElderGoth
onto the dance floor time and time again. But that doesn't mean we think we're really vampires, or even that vampires are real. But they do have nice clothes…

No, you don't have to be depressed to be a Goth

“You can't be a
Real Goth
; you're too happy.” If the Lady of the Manners had a nickel for every time someone has said that to her, she would probably be able to go off and buy some brand new Fluevog boots. If you mention “Goth” to someone outside the subculture, the image that springs to mind almost always includes a black-clad, morose creature writing sad poetry by candlelight. Those who don't understand our community believe that Goths are never happy, that we are gloomy and delicate little flowers that feel the pain of the world. But why?

Remember, modern Goth culture has its inky-black roots in
melodrama. Yes, Goth not only tends toward the dark, the morbid, and the unearthly but positively wallows in it. The morbid outlook, the fondness for looking as if we're off to attend a funeral (or were recently the guest of honor at one); those things, to an outsider's eyes, give the impression that not only are Goths fond of gloom and doom but that we devote ourselves to it entirely and are incapable or unwilling to entertain the faintest glimmer of a smile.

Which is ridiculous, of course. While Goths do appreciate a certain amount of picturesque melancholic languishing, they do not sign a contract promising to be despondent and tragic at all times. Goths, on the whole, actually are fairly cheerful and up-beat individuals. They just have a healthy dose of black humor and whimsy and a dark-hued wardrobe to match it.

The belief that all Goths are depressed is often coupled with the somewhat contradictory but just as prevalent idea that all Goths are gleefully entranced with death. It goes something like, we all think death, despair, and destruction are amazingly cool and nifty, but we're too dismal to talk about it. Instead, we re
treat to our black-painted rooms, cry a lot, and compose poetry about death and graveyards, possibly written in our own blood. None of this is really true, but it is such a powerful cliché that people believe it. Goths are, on the whole, somewhat fascinated by death and morbid imagery because Goths realize that just because something is morbid or unsettling doesn't mean it should be dismissed or ignored. By refusing to turn a blind eye to the brevity of one's mortal existence, Goths are able to search out beauty in dark or unusual places. In the Lady of the Manners's eyes, that doesn't make one depressed and obsessed with death; instead it allows one to fully embrace life.

So you say you're not a Goth, but people keep assuming you are

There are swarms and swarms of people out there who wear all black, are interested in graveyards, gargoyles, and horror fiction, or just prefer a darker aesthetic, but they still maintain they aren't Goths. Sometimes this is because they believe the rather sensationalist portrayal of Goths by the media and feel that Goths are much more disturbed, depressed, or just plain weird. “Oh, no, I'm not a Goth. Goths are way freakier than I am. I just like [fill in the blank with a gothy-type interest here].” Or they may feel that Goth is something only teenagers do because it's “just a phase.” Or that they aren't Goths because they don't dress in a dark extravagant manner or listen to all Goth music all the time.

All of these explanations do make sense, but they still amuse the Lady of the Manners. These explanations make it sound like
one must match a minimum number of Goth habits and traits on some master list before calling oneself a Goth. Or that a multiple-choice test can determine someone's subcultural preferences and Goths take it with the goal of racking up as many
Goth points
as possible.

Of course, some people complain about being labeled Goth; they don't want to be labeled at all. Labels are restrictive and so limiting! Sure, these people may share dark and mysterious interests with the rest of us black-clad spooksters, but they refuse to be labeled. They can get terribly resentful because they believe there's so much more to their personalities and lives than can be encompassed by a (gasp, shudder of revulsion) label.

The Lady of the Manners hates to be the bearer of harsh news to these charming people, but they need to get over it. Labels can be used in a derogatory fashion, but that's not what the Lady of the Manners is talking about here. The Lady of the Manners wants to talk about the relatively harmless use of labels as a form of social shorthand. (The Lady of the Manners has noticed that the people who make the biggest fuss about being labeled are usually quick to label other people. “Norms.” “Yuppies.” “Bimbos.” “Jocks.” Labels are only distasteful when applied to their oh-so-complex selves. Think about that for a bit, Snarklings.)

Labels are useful because they express a whole bundle of information in a compact little package. Labels can be explained and expanded upon, if need be, to communicate all nuances and quirks of personality, but sometimes brevity is a splendid thing. Labels can help sketch the broad outlines of a person and his or her interests. The Lady of the Manners doesn't mind being called a Goth, a clothes fiend, or even eccentric because she knows that all of those labels do, in one way or another, describe facets of her personality. They're not the
only
facets of the Lady of the Manners's personal
ity, but they are some of the more obvious ones, and fussing about that would be just plain silly.

People are, for the most part, social creatures who like to sort themselves into “us” and “them” groupings. This is not out of any sense of exclusion, really, but because people tend to feel more comfortable around others who share their interests. People identify themselves by their favorite sports teams, by their political party, by what musical groups or TV shows they like, or perhaps by the hobbies they enjoy (knitting, hiking, poker…you get the idea).

If you wear all black, listen to obscure bands, and have a generally dark and decadent aesthetic, then of course people are going to label you a Goth. Does that mean you are a Goth? Maybe, maybe not, but it's probably a good bet that you share certain interests with Goths. Getting all wound up about being labeled is a waste of time and energy that could instead be used toward developing other aspects of your lifestyle or personality so people stop calling you a Goth, if that's what you want. And even if people don't stop calling you a Goth, is that really so bad? The Lady of the Manners is sure there are far worse things someone could call you.

The roots of Goth's dark garden

Oh, so you want to learn more about Goth clichés and where they come from? The Lady of the Manners in no way claims this section provides an exhaustive list of gothy reference materials, but it can be a jumping-off point for your own research. Don't worry, Snarklings. While the Lady of the Manners
could
just tell you to seek out “Gothic literature” at your local library, she wants to encourage you in your search with the information below. But speaking of Gothic literature, yes, you should read at least a few of the classic works.

•  
  Jane Eyre
  by Charlotte Brontë. This is perhaps
  the
  Gothic novel; it's jam-packed with plucky orphans, uncaring and unkind relatives, grim boarding schools and wicked teachers, and characters who die tragically of consumption. Jane herself becomes a governess in a house that suffers from mysterious laughter, outbreaks of fire, piercing and unexplained screams in the night, and a brooding, distant gentleman with a secret. And that's not the entire story! The Lady of the Manners won't spoil some of the more outlandish plot twists for you but will admit that she tends to view
  Jane Eyre
  as a black-tinged camp romp. Oh, the Lady of the Manners knows that's not how the novel is commonly regarded, but the Lady of the Manners reads
  Jane Eyre
  much later in life, not during her impressionable teens.
  
•  
  Dracula
  by Bram Stoker. The king of the vampires's shadow still looms over us, so do yourself a favor and read the book that has contributed so much to the Goth subculture. Yes, portions of it are meandering and tedious, but just as many sections still cast a strong spell over the reader.
  
•  
  Frankenstein
  by Mary Shelley. Considered by many to be the first true science fiction novel, this book also gave life to the mad scientist genre. (You do know that the creature isn't the one named Frankenstein, yes? The title refers to Doctor Victor Frankenstein, and his creation should be called Frankenstein's creature. Ignore popular culture's frequent mistake, and go read the book yourself.)
  
•   Anything by Edgar Allan Poe. The Lady of the Manners prefers
  The Fall of the House of Usher
  and “The Raven,” but really, just about anything by Poe will fill out your shadowy-tinged reading list.