Grace Alive: a Christian Romance (17 page)

“Oh my gosh, a ton. I have so many Facebook
friends from college and from high school that told me that when I
invited them to church.”

Branson’s eyes lit up with excitement. “You
gotta see this.
Romans 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over
you, for you are not under law but under grace.
The more I
studied these verses from the book the more I got this. Am I boring
you, Zoe?” he asked and set the book aside for a minute.

“No! This is so new to me.” I smiled at him.
I took a drink of my water.

“I start to ramble when it comes to
grace.”

“I don’t mind. It’s freeing for me.” I tucked
myself back up against his arms and drew in a relaxing breath. It
was nearly twelve when I left Branson’s house. It was kind of
freaking me out how fast we were getting to know each other. He’d
told me more about his past but skirted around some of the stuff
that would have made me blush. I told him about my childhood, my
brother, and college life. I felt as if I could say anything, and
he wouldn’t look at me like I was a loser. It was an odd feeling
not getting judgment from someone. I could see why God kept
encouraging me to be with him.

A couple days later, I turned on my computer
and opened up Facebook. I had several messages from people. I
started reading them. Tears gathered against my will as I skimmed
one after another from several young adults in our church. Mia
being one of them.

Zoe, your dad told us what was going on.
He’s really worried about you. Who is this guy? Why would you give
up your salvation for a player? You’re so much better and smarter
than that!
Even though the message was short it hurt the most.
Was I better than Branson? I didn’t think so. Maybe he’d committed
a lot of sins in his past, but hadn’t I? Wasn’t sin still sin?
Several other messages later had me heaped with guilt.

I know Branson, Zoe, he’s bad news! One of my
old roommates in college started dating him. She was so in love
with him! She constantly talked about how good sex was with him and
how attractive he was. He made money selling pictures and movies of
them. Zoe, please, please, dump this idiot! You are going to regret
it otherwise! He’s a terrible person, and God could never bless
someone like that! Kate

I already knew what Branson had done. Just
knowing that others were spreading it around that I was courting a
guy who had slept around was hard. I started crying as I read more
messages. I didn’t even want to read them. When I saw Jacob had
left me one I cringed. He’d been the start of all this. I hovered
over the message and finally clicked on it.

I’m praying for your soul, Zoe. This man is
straight from Hell to persuade you to turn to worldly things. Think
about it, Zoe! He has kids by other women! How do you even know if
this guy has AIDS or not? Your marriage will fail, it won’t work!
What if you aren’t as good a lover as other girls he’s had. I’ve
watched some of his videos, Zoe, and he’s messed up. He’s a
lowlife, and you’d be a complete idiot to continue with this
relationship. Plus, if you don’t come back to me, my family and I
are pulling out of Light on the Hill Church along with our money.
Your dad tried to persuade you, but maybe that will instead. Your
parents’ church will suffer, and you know it! Because of your
disobedience to God!

I stared at the screen. Wait what? Jacob and
his family were going to leave if I didn’t court him? Was this new
news? Or was that the reason my dad had forced me into that
relationship in the first place? Anger spilled over, and I grabbed
my pillow and screamed into it. Seriously? How low could one family
go! I didn’t even like Jacob, let alone love him! That’s insanity!
He’d watched some of Branson’s videos. I felt sick. What if he
shared them around with people? I scooted back from my desk and
started throwing stuff in boxes. I had to get out of this house and
fast.

Your marriage will fail, it won’t work!
What if you aren’t as good a lover as other girls he’s had.
The
words Jacob had said pounded in my head over and over. What if I
was a terrible lover? What if our marriage did fall apart because
of Branson’s past?
Zoe, Zoe…peace…peace. Do not fret.
The
voice of God calmed my frayed nerves.
God, people are talking
about Branson and what he did in his past! What do I do? How do I
convince them that he’s different now?

Peace, Zoe.

God, you have to help me fix this.

Peace, Zoe.
I finished shoving stuff
in the box and shut it with a sigh. I looked over at the open
message and balled my fists. How dare Jacob do that? How dare he? I
stormed over to my computer and began to furiously pound the keys.
I read my message twice and hit send. Crap. I shouldn’t have done
that. He was right. Light on the Hill would suffer. I flung my door
open and went downstairs.

My dad was probably at church studying. My
mom was at some meeting. I ran to my car and peeled out of the
driveway. I was going to confront this now. Did my dad say
God
told me
because of Jacob’s family’s threat? I had to know! I
got to the church and jumped out of my car and practically ran
inside. I opened the building and went to my dad’s office. I didn’t
bother knocking; I just flung open the door. The image before me
sent me into shock. My dad. A girl. There were clothes scattered on
the ground, and they were… I turned around and faced the other way
my face blanching.

“Zoe!” my dad bellowed, and I heard him
scramble off his desk. God. God. He was… I felt sobs coming up my
chest and pushed them down. I knew that girl. I shook as I heard
them both frantically get dressed.

“I can explain, Zoe,” my dad desperately
said. He sounded afraid. “I can explain,”

Should I just get the heck out of here? I had
just caught my dad committing adultery. My parents’ church would
fall apart if I said anything. My mom! Oh my gosh! I finally turned
around to face my shame-faced father.

“It’s not like it looks!” he said and reached
for my hands.

“It’s exactly how it looks!” I said and
stepped back from him.

“Our counseling session…just got out of hand.
It will never happen again, Zoe, I promise.” My dad wiped sweat off
his forehead.

I looked into the face of my best friend Mia.
She wouldn’t look at me.

“You judge others for their sins, and yet you
are committing sin freely? You say that God’s love is turned away
from us when we sin, and you point the finger at me for courting
Branson, and yet…and yet…” I couldn’t even finish what I wanted to
say. “Did you say God spoke to you about Jacob because they were
threatening to leave the church if we didn’t court?” I was so hot
right now. I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. Mia
scooted around me grabbing her purse on the way. Her betrayal sent
waves of hatred through me. How could she do that to my family? How
could she do that to me? My dad stared at me openly, still
buttoning up his shirt.

“Zoe, it was…it was for the good of our
church. I can’t lose the Whitmens. It would close the church. I
couldn’t let that happen! You understand right?” My dad’s eyes
darted anywhere but my face.

“So you put my heart on the chopping block,
Dad, instead of trusting God that everything would work out. You
knew I hated Jacob! You knew! Yet you were forcing me to court him!
To marry him?” I turned away, my eyes streaming with tears now.
“How could you do that to me? How?” I clutched my purse tightly
trying to keep myself from throwing something at my dad.

“I had to, Zoe! This church is my life!
Mia…she was already going to divorce Tomas.”

Like that explained his betrayal of a twenty
some odd year marriage!

Zoe, Zoe, he needs My love. Not your
anger.
I heard the Holy Spirit say, but I didn’t know if I
could do that right now. I balled everything up in my heart and
pressed it down hard.

“I’m not going to tell Mom, but you are,” I
said and ran out of the office. I kept running blinded by my tears,
furious, and feeling the worst kind of pain. I managed to get my
car unlocked, climbed inside, and sobbed. I started up the car and
was beginning to drive away.

“How could he do that! How?” I said out loud
as I whipped my car around corners to go to the private park me and
Branson had walked through. “Branson…” I moaned and started sobbing
again. My phone started ringing, and I saw that it was Branson. I
answered it as I kept driving, swerving wildly at times, blinded by
my tears.

“Zoe! What’s going on? The Holy Spirit told
me to call you immediately. Are you okay?” I could hear the fear in
his voice.

“My dad…” I sobbed, and I pulled over to the
side of the road. “My dad…” I couldn’t get the words out.

“Where are you? I’m coming right now.” I
heard him grabbing his keys.

“I’m about a mile from our little park,
parked on the shoulder.” My shoulders shook as I wiped tears that
kept coming from my eyes.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” He hung up,
and I rested my head against the steering wheel and felt the
greatest sorrow I’d ever felt in my life. My dad had offered me for
money. I was worth nothing to him. Nothing at all. Just a pawn he
could barter with.

Zoe, you were worth everything. You are
Mine. If it was only you, I’d die again for you. Just you.
God’s voice made me start crying harder as the pain of what I’d
just seen hit me over and over. I could never get those images out
of my head. Never. My best friend, my dad, Jacob. The thought of
all of them brought wave after wave of anguish. I was worth nothing
to him. I was nothing.

“Jesus…” I whispered and clutched my steering
wheel. I heard cars whizzing by, and in just a few minutes I heard
a car pull up behind me. Branson came running up to my car his face
filled with worry.

“Zoe?” He knocked on my window.

I opened the door and climbed out. He took
one look at me and pulled me into his arms.

“It’s going to be okay, shh…” He wrapped his
hand against the back of my head.

“My dad…he was…”

“It’s going to be okay, Zoe.” He just kept
holding me. He started whispering prayers over and over, and I
could feel his love, and the love of God began to soothe my
pain.

“Branson, I caught my dad with my best friend
having sex in his office. And Jacob…Jacob’s family was threatening
to leave the church if my dad didn’t let him court me. My dad
handed me over to that horrible guy for money. He thinks I’m trash,
just a bartering chip. He…” I stopped talking because I started
sobbing again. I had to stop crying.

“You aren’t worth nothing, Zoe, you are so
valuable. People get corrupted when all they know are rules. Come
on, I’m going to take you somewhere.” He led me to his car, and I
got in. I couldn’t seem to stop crying, and Branson just held my
hand as he drove. I pressed my face against the seat.
God, this
is worse than anything I’ve ever felt before.

My grace is sufficient for you, Beloved. My
grace…

The car stopped, and Branson helped me out of
the car. We were overlooking the city. Trees were all around us,
and no one was around.

“Zoe Reed, I love you.” Branson looked into
my tear streaked face. “I want to spend the rest of my life with
you. You are so valuable to me.” He touched my chin and tilted it
upward. He then brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was so
warm and loving that I felt myself wanting to sob again. How could
I have gotten such an amazing person as Branson? How? How did God
love me so much that He brought the revelation of grace through
this man? I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a
deeper kiss. I heard him gasp as I poured out my heart to him in
it. He finally pulled me back and grinned.

“Wow! Okay, that one rocked!” He laughed. He
brushed my hair back from my face and scooped my chin in his
hand.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered and
kissed me again. I could feel my pain beginning to ebb. Nothing
with my parents would ever be the same, but I had Branson, and I
had God. And they would always be there for me.

Branson and I headed back toward my car after
a really long talk. I felt more at peace now about the situation
even if the pain was still there. I kept thinking about Mia, Tomas,
and her kids. Their family would be destroyed by this. My family
would be destroyed. My mom. I kept thinking about her. After twenty
some odd years of marriage my dad had just flushed it down the
toilet. Had he been doing that for a long time? I didn’t really
want to know. I got home and headed inside. My dad was sitting on
the couch his face red and splotchy. Had he been crying? I’d never
seen my dad cry in my entire life.

“Zoe, can I talk to you for a minute?” He
looked completely shattered.

I really wanted to just run upstairs to my
room right now.

“I guess,” I said and sat down on the chair
across from the couch.

“What you saw I can explain.”

“Okay,” I quietly said. How could he explain
away his sin?

“Mia and I…we love each other. I’ve been
unhappy with your mother for over five years now. When Mia came to
the church…we started counseling together about her and Tomas. She
told me how frustrated she was with him, and I just listened for a
long time. I don’t know how it happened, Zoe, but something changed
in both of us.” He rubbed his forehead, and I saw guilt there.

“Our tithe has been down, Zoe, and our bills
are piling up. If I had lost the Whitmens, Light on the Hill would
go under. Mia told me I should take the deal that Jacob’s dad was
offering me. I didn’t want to at first.”

Mia had told him to offer me to greasy Jacob?
Mia? I ground my back teeth. Or was my dad just dumping it on
her?

“I love Mia, Zoe, like you love Branson. I
know its sin, but the more I try to stop, the more I want her.” He
sighed again, and I saw his shoulders stoop. This man, this
God-fearing man was a mess. I saw it now. I started thinking about
all the conversations I’d had with Branson about the grace of God,
the love of God, and the compassion of Christ, and I felt my anger
leave me. Who was I to judge my dad? Who was I to judge Mia?