Grace Lost (18 page)

Gus stood to join Boggs and
tousled Emilie’s red hair playfully, which was already disheveled.  
“Can you get Zoe settled, Em?”

“Absolutely.”
  She smiled up at him and he winked back at her.

“After we’re done we’ll need to
drag all the bodies to a pile and burn them,” said Gus.  We’ll wait till
dusk so the smoke’s not so obvious.”

The two men climbed out through
the kitchen window.  Gus poked his head back in and hollered, “let us know
if there are any issues.”  Either he was referring to my new found
zombie-radar or warning Emilie that I may turn into a killer monster at any
moment. 

“Zoe, do you want to go upstairs
and lay down?” Emilie asked me.

I shook my head no.  “I think
it’ll be better if I stay busy.”

Emilie hugged me gently. 
“Let’s look through the kitchen and organize things?”

“’Kay.”

We spent the next couple of hours
pulling everything out of the cabinets.  We worked quietly, listening to
the various sounds the men were making on the outside of the cabin.  We
had lit several candles since the only light came from the upstairs
hallway.  The main electric in the house was unfortunately not connected
to the battery array like we had thought, and I wondered when I would stop
trying to flip light switches.  Old habits die hard, they say.

“Should we keep an inventory?”
asked Emilie.  “I mean write it all down?”

“Good idea,” I answered.

We sat on the kitchen counter
together surveying the cans and boxes we had brought out from cabinets and set
on the dining table.  We made a list of each item, and were trying to
decide how many days’ worth of food we had if we stuck to two meals a
day.  We made small talk, keeping conversation light.  The sound of
periodic hammering kept us on our toes, reminding us that danger might present
itself at any moment. Emilie’s stomach started making loud noises, signaling
the day was passing.

“Should we make something to
eat?”  I asked.  “The guys are probably getting hungry.”

“Sure,” said Emilie, hopping up
from the counter. 
“How about chili?
  I saw
enough ingredients to throw some together.”

I nodded.   “Good
idea.  We can add the tortilla chips you found.”

“Do you think Gus likes
Italian?”  Emilie looked thoughtful.

“I think Gus likes redheads,” I
said.

She ignored my razzing and looked
hopeful, “do you really think so?”

I smiled. “Ya, I’m pretty sure.”

“He’s thirty eight. Since probably
almost everyone on earth is dead, do you think it’s okay if I’m only
twenty-four?”

I slid down from the counter and
walked to where she sat.  “Emilie, I think right now anything goes. 
I think we all just need to do what we can to be happy.”  The girl hugged
me, and I knew then that we were as good as sisters.  I looked at her
thoughtfully. 
“Twenty-four?
You
sure?”

She nodded.

“You look sixteen.” 

She blushed at my words. 
“People always think I’m younger than I am.”  She smiled softly.

I sighed, realizing that I was the
baby of the group at just twenty.  “Let’s get the chili heating then
organize all this stuff in the cabinets?” 

She nodded in agreement. “Once the
table’s clear we can eat.”

The smell of chili filled the
little cabin from top to bottom.  We had thrown two cans of kidney beans,
a can of French Onion soup,
a
can of corn, black
beans, dehydrated onion bits, and stewed tomatoes into a pot.  We used a
single can of chicken, saving two more for another day.  A pinch of chili
powder completed the thrown-together recipe.  

The light that came from upstairs
was dimming as the sun was lowering in the sky.  We had found some not so
elegant paper bowls and clear plastic flatware.  Combined with folded
paper towels and three votive candles in the center of the table, it was as
fancy as we could make it.  We were ready to end the evening enjoying warm
food and each other’s company.  Emilie lit the candles while I went to the
propane fireplace and hit the ignite button. The main floor was awash in an
amber-orange glow.

Gus and Boggs came in through the
front door, looking curious.

“What’s this?” asked Gus, with a
bead of sweat dripping from under his felt cowboy hat. He was looking at the
little table, humbly arranged with paper and plastic products.

“Dinner!” said Emilie
proudly.  “We figured you guys would be hungry.”

“Good idea, darlin,” he said.

 She beamed from the praise.

“Nice tool belt, Boggs,” I
razzed.  He had a plastic grocery sack duct-taped around his waist, filled
with nails that poked through at all odd angles.  He smiled at me.

Emilie was busy stirring the chili
on the stovetop, and started barking orders.  “You two get upstairs and
wash up, and hurry.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Gus.  He
tilted his hat to her and she turned toward the stove to switch it off. 
He smacked her rear end playfully and she jumped.

“Get. Now,” she snapped.  I
had fun watching her make jokes.  It was a pleasant change after
witnessing her go through the incredible grief of losing her little brother in
such a horrific way.

“You too,” I said to Boggs. 

They both climbed the stairs and
we heard water running.  The last of the upstairs light disappeared as one
of them closed the drapes in the bedrooms.

I sat quietly in one of the two
empty chairs.  Emilie joined me and we waited for the men to return. 

“Zoe?”

I looked up at Emilie. 
“Hmm?”

“You ok?”

“Ya.
  Just a little freaked out.” 

“It’ll be ok.”

“I hope so, Em.”  I sighed
softly.  “I hope so.”

“You hungry?”

“A little.
  I hope the guys hurry up.”

On cue, the men finally came back
downstairs.  They had both taken the time to shower and change
clothes. 

“Sorry that took so long,” said
Boggs.  “We figure it’s too dark for the corpse-fire tonight, so we’ll
regroup at dawn.   Don’t want to risk anyone seeing the flames.”

“Yuck,” said Emilie while
wrinkling her nose.  “We’re about to eat.”

“Speaking of which,” said
Gus.  “Is it ready?”

“As a matter of fact, it is,” said
Emilie with a smile.  “Sit down and I’ll bring it over.”  She seemed
eager to please and walked to the stovetop with a spring in her step.

“Sorry it’s not much,” I said as
both men took seats on either side of me.  “Em and I sorted everything in
the kitchen and made a log.  We figure if we keep it down to one or two
small meals a day we have enough for about a week.”

“Good work, girls,” said
Gus.  “We’ll see what we can do about adding to our supplies in the next
few days.”

Emilie came back to the table
holding the pot of chili, and skillfully scooped it into the four bowls. 
I was glad to see her give the men larger portions.

“Try crumbling the chips into it,”
I suggested. 

“You sound tired, Zo,” mentioned
Boggs.  “You ok?”

I nodded.  “It’s just been a
long day.”

Emilie asked the men if they
minded if we say grace.  No one argued against it.  She held her
hands out to both of the men and looked over at me.  We all held hands
around the table.

“Gus?’ asked Emilie.

“Huh?” he replied.

“Will you say grace, please?”

He returned her stare with that of
a scared little boy.  “Sure.”   He bowed his head and did his
best.

“God, thank you
for the good meal.
  Thank you for
keeping us safe these past days.  Watch over those we love and those we’ve
lost.  Watch over our new family.  Amen.”

“Amen,” I whispered.

Boggs squeezed my hand.

I looked up as Gus started eating
his chili.  Boggs followed suit, using a tortilla chip as a scoop instead
of his spoon.  I wished I had more of an appetite, but the ordeal I had
been through had left a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.

I took a deep breath and said
quietly, “I’m sorry about earlier.”  I felt Boggs’ hand on my knee and
looked up at him, tears welling in my eyes again.  He leaned over and
kissed my cheek.

“We’re just all glad everyone’s
ok.  Eat, Zoe, ok?”  Gus said gently.  “Even if you don’t feel
like it, you need to eat.”

I nodded and took a bite of the
warm chili. Emilie walked to the refrigerator and produced a bottle of vodka
she must have slipped inside to chill earlier.  “Maybe this’ll help,” she
said with a little smile and sat back down.  “Zoe, we’re family now. 
The four of us, we’re all we have.  Let us be there for you.”  She
reached across the table for me.  I took her hand in mine, and felt
grounded.  We continued eating in relative silence. 

Once we were all full, Emilie and
I piled the paper plates and set them aside for burning the next day.  The
plastic flatware went into the sink and we set it to soak.  We put the lid
on the chili pot and set it inside the refrigerator to have the next day. 
The vodka was still untouched, and Gus carried it to the living room. 
Boggs followed with the remaining tortilla chips.  Emilie and I soon
joined them.  I walked over to sit next to Boggs and he pulled me down
onto his lap, and held me there. This room and these people were starting to
feel comfortable and familiar.

The fire flickered, creating
interesting patterns around the room.  Emilie had put her feet up on Gus’
lap, where he took her socks off and rubbed her left foot.  Boggs asked me
quietly if I wanted to go to bed.  I shook my head no.  He reached
toward the coffee table, careful to not let me fall off of his lap, and grabbed
the bottle of vodka.  He offered it to me and I shook my head no, still
feeling out of sorts.  Emilie, sitting kiddy corner to us, reached out for
the bottle and took a swig.  Gus took it from her, causing some of the
clear, cool liquid to spill on her lap.  She nudged the cowboy with her
foot.  He laughed and drank deeply from the bottle, then handed it back to
Boggs.   Gus switched to massaging Em’s right foot.

The cowboy spoke as Boggs
drank.  “We should talk about plans for tomorrow.  We need to clean
up the bodies at dawn before the stink becomes unbearable, and we need to think
about securing some more weapons.  Ladies, did you find anything useful
here today?”

Emilie snickered. 
“Yeah.
The vodka.”
  She
giggled.  He winked at her.  I decided it was time to speak up
myself. 

“Do you want to lock me in the
attic tonight?”  I kept my eyes on my own lap.  No one answered so I
looked up.  They were all staring at me like I had a horn growing from my
forehead.

Finally Gus spoke.  “No,
Zoe.  You’re alive and breathing, darlin’.  You’re not getting locked
in the attic.”

Boggs kissed my forehead. “You’re
staying with me, kid.”  He put the mouth of the vodka bottle to my lips
and whispered very softly, “drink some, Zo.  You need it.”

I let him tip it up and took a
small sip. Afterward, I nestled against his chest, closed my eyes and let him
cradle me. The room began to warm from the fire and my nerves began to settle.
Boggs softly stroked my back with his hand.  I heard Emilie talking very
quietly to Gus.  “Let’s wait till morning to make plans?  I think we
all need some sleep.”

Gus yawned and mumbled “you’re
full of good ideas tonight, Red.”  I heard him stand and set the glass
bottle on the table. “You coming?” he asked her.  Two sets of footfalls
climbed the stairs.  One bedroom door shut.

“Boggs?”
I asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry this is all happening.”

“I know, Zoe.”  He twisted underneath
me, which signaled me to shift off of him.

“I feel really weird,” I admitted.

“Well, you are blonde,” he teased,
trying to cheer me up.  “You’re important to all of us. 
Most especially to me.”
  He laced his fingers through
mine and changed the topic.  “Are you ok after this morning?  I
didn’t hurt you?”

I must have blushed because the
room got hotter.

“Zoe, it’s just me.  Don’t be
embarrassed.”  He squeezed my hand. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve
ever seen.”  His thoughts were scattered as the alcohol more fully took
its grip on him.  He leaned forward, kissing me with passion.  He
tasted like liquor.  My heart fluttered and the room spun.  His mouth
still on mine, he mumbled against me.  “I love you so much, Zoe.”

He continued to kiss me, his
tongue searching frantically for mine.  I didn’t try to speak, not wanting
the kiss to be interrupted.  I found my hands searching for his jeans, and
clumsily undid the button at the top.  His kiss intensified and his hands
interrupted mine to finish with his zipper.  I pulled his t-shirt up over
his head and he returned the favor by pulling my sweatpants down, the job made
easier with them being loose.  I lay back on the small sofa and looked at
him in wonder.