Gracie (26 page)

‘I’m here and yes, I’m well also …’

The silence that followed seemed to last forever, with neither knowing what to say next.

‘I don’t know why I phoned you. I probably shouldn’t have, I didn’t think properly,’ Gracie said nervously, wondering for the first time if Edward was also married. It was quite possible.

‘But you did telephone me, so let’s talk. Are you still living in Southend?’ he asked.

‘Yes, but at the moment I’m staying with Ruby’s relatives in Cambridgeshire for a few days.’

‘That’s not too far from me. I could drive and meet you. We could catch up. Just as friends, of course.’

Her head said ‘
I can’t do that, I’m a married woman
…’ but her mouth refused to cooperate. She wanted to see him again. ‘Yes. Just as friends,’ she replied.

It was a short and superficial conversation that didn’t touch on anything remotely personal, but by the time Gracie ended the call she had arranged to meet Edward the next day on the outskirts of the village to go for a drive into the nearby town for lunch.

That night, despite the peace and quiet of the village and Fay fast asleep beside her, she couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t just excitement that kept her awake; rather it was a gnawing guilt that was nibbling away at her, telling her she should not be meeting Edward Woodfield. She had made her decision at the time and she knew she should stick with it, despite everything that Sean had done.

Gracie lay warm in her bed, hands clasped under her head, looking at the ceiling and wondering what the meeting would be like. A part of her felt as if she knew Edward Woodfield really well and yet, when she really thought about it, he was a stranger and they had simply spent one afternoon together on the beach. Now she was married to Sean and he could also be married for all she knew.

It was crazy.

By the time morning came she was exhausted but as soon as breakfast was over she ran back upstairs to get ready.

Gracie walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She’d tried to make herself look nice without going too far, and without raising any questions from Babs Wheaton about exactly why she was going into town again. She felt guilty that she was going and guilty that she was lying to the Wheatons but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to see Edward again.

But as she walked into the room to say goodbye Babs was waiting for her.

‘Gracie darling, I was just coming up to see you. I have to tell you something. Now, I don’t want you to get stressed but Ruby has been on the phone …’

‘Has something happened?’ Gracie asked quickly.

‘It has. I did call up to you but you were in the bathroom and it was a brief call. It’s all gone a bit mad there. She said Sean has found out about Fay and is at the hotel demanding to see you, he’s made a bit of a fuss …’

Gracie felt sick.

‘Oh God, this is what I was dreading. How did he find out?’

‘It seems Jennifer is also back from wherever she was. She found out somehow and told him; the story was brief and garbled but Ruby thought you should know.’

‘Jennifer again. He told me it was all over. I knew he was lying, I knew it …’ she said resignedly.

‘Don’t get upset. You have to ring Ruby in half an hour, she’s trying to deal with him at the moment.’ Babs smiled. ‘Which she will. We all know how good Ruby is at being calming and Johnnie’s there as well.’

Gracie couldn’t move; she just stood on the spot and shook her head.

‘I knew something like this would happen. I should have told him about Fay, that was mean and nasty of me and now Ruby’s getting the brunt of it.’

‘It was a reaction; the wrong reaction I absolutely agree, but an understandable one given the circumstances,’ Babs told her said gently. ‘You just need to explain to him …’

‘You know it always comes back to Jennifer,’ Gracie continued. ‘I don’t understand why my own sister hates me so much. I mean, Sean is hardly her type – she always liked them intellectual.’

‘From what you and Ruby have both said, she has a jealousy problem. She wants what you or Jeanette has – even if she doesn’t want it, if you see what I mean.’ Babs smiled. ‘This probably wasn’t about Sean, or even about you, it was about
her
personality. I’m not a psychiatrist but I understand people after all these years as a doctor’s wife.’

‘But what is there to be jealous about?’ Gracie asked. ‘Jennifer had her own fiancé, a nice job and she could twist Mum around her little finger. She was always Mum’s favourite; she had nothing to jealous of, especially with me, the black sheep. Yes she’s always been sly and sneaky but lots of kids are.’

‘Maybe she was just the deceitful one who always got away with it? I don’t know, but I do know that you have to not let this set you back.’

Gracie forced a smile. ‘It won’t. I just feel bad for Ruby in the firing line. I should be there …’

‘Well, don’t. She’s got Johnnie there and he’s more than capable of dealing with Sean, but we both thought you should know what was going on. You’re not a child who needs to be shielded.’

‘Thank you. I’m just a bit shocked …’ Gracie shook her head gently as if to get it clear. ‘It’s not even Sean really, it’s my sister. It’s so wrong.’

‘Well, there’s nowt so queer as folk, as they say. It’s a shame if Jennifer is back in Southend – it would have been good for her to build her own life. She must be a very unhappy young woman inside.’

Gracie thought about what Babs was saying and knew she was probably right, but it didn’t make any difference.

And then her brain clicked and she remembered where she was supposed to be.

‘Do you mind if I go for a walk? Just to think about it all …?’

‘Of course I don’t mind, shall I come with you?’

‘No, it’s okay but can I still leave Fay?’

‘I was expecting to have her anyway while you went into town,’ Babs smiled. ‘It’s a shame you’re going to miss your shopping trip though, the bus will have gone by the time you get there.’ Babs paused for a moment. ‘I could run you into town in the car after you’ve spoken to Ruby? Or maybe you can go tomorrow?’

‘No thanks, it’s too late now. I’ll have to go back as soon as possible to see Sean so shopping will have to wait!’

Not wanting anyone to see her panic, Gracie casually picked up her handbag and strolled off down the path until she was out of sight, then ran to the telephone box, hoping against hope that Edward hadn’t already left.

‘Can I speak to Edward Woodfield, please?’

‘He’s not here … who’s calling?’

Immediately Gracie recognised the voice as Louisa’s. She doubted for a moment that she would remember who she was, but she didn’t want to give her name just in case.

‘When he comes back would you tell him I’m sorry, something came up …’

‘Who is this?’ Louisa asked curiously. ‘And sorry for what?’

‘He’ll know. Please tell him.’

‘Is that Gracie from Southend?’ Louisa’s tone was gleefully curious.

Gracie didn’t answer, just gently replaced the receiver and went back to the Wheaton’s house knowing she had to pack. It was time to go home.

‘Is it okay to phone Ruby now?’ she asked George, who was in the kitchen tucked in his usual corner beside the boiler holding Fay, and rocking her back and forth.

‘Of course it is. Help yourself.’

Gracie made the phone call to Ruby and it was arranged that Johnnie Riordan would drive to Melton the next day and take her and Fay home.

She went back upstairs to her room, walked over to the window and looked out. The window was at the side of the house and looked out over the fields. She remembered Ruby telling her about life in Melton, about her friends and their free and easy lifestyle. Ruby had wanted more excitement in her life than a village could offer but Gracie could imagine living there quite happily with Fay.

She stared for several minutes before she realised she was imagining life in the country with Fay, but she hadn’t even thought about giving Sean, her husband, a place in the scenario.

It saddened her to accept that her marriage to Sean Donnelly was dead and buried but she knew there could be no going back despite their marriage vows made barely a year before.

On the drive back to Southend Johnnie explained to Gracie exactly what had been going on. Whereas Ruby would have been gentle and a little evasive in telling her the details, Johnnie was far more forthright. He wasn’t tactless, he simply thought Gracie didn’t need to be protected from the facts of the event and she in turn appreciated it.

‘Sean turned up out of the blue, really drunk, which was a shock because I’d never seen him like that before. He was shouting and swearing in the lobby like a navvy. I mean, he was disrupting the guests, threatening to beat the hell out of anyone who was in his way, so I had to remove him …’

Gracie managed a smile. ‘I can guess what you mean by that.’

‘I was very restrained, I’ll have you know.’ Johnnie grinned. ‘I simply had a word in his ear, took him by the arm and led him outside, but he’d already caused havoc for Ruby before I got there. It was daytime so there were lots of people around.’

‘I suppose he thought I was there. Jennifer probably fired him up, she seems to have that power over him, but he shouldn’t have done it …’

‘We told him you weren’t there but he didn’t believe us, which was fair enough, but to carry on like that in the hotel was bloody ridiculous.’ Johnnie said firmly. ‘If you want to know what I think, Sean is making a fuss to put himself back in the right. It was such a childish temper tantrum. I was shocked but I could see what you meant about him being a mummy’s boy; that was a really spoilt child in action.’

‘But he’s getting good at that, turning the tables. I think Jennifer must have taught him – the bitch!’ Gracie let out a short burst of humourless laughter before continuing. ‘But I still don’t really understand what the hell’s going on and I don’t want to blame her for everything, even though I do hate her guts. Any idea about what he knows, doesn’t know? How he knows?’ Desperate to find out what was going on she fired the questions at him.

‘Not really, he was so drunk. But I got his new address from him. I told him it was either that or I phoned the police and had him nicked then and there, and he understood,’ Johnnie said with a slight nod of his head. ‘Why not go and see him without Fay and get the lay of the land? Seems he’s living in a room in a house in Westcliff and working in a seafront café.’

Gracie looked sad. ‘That’s a shame, he had such high hopes with his job and we loved our flat. It wasn’t Buckingham Palace but it was a first proper home for both of us. Now everything is gone. Stupid idiot that he is. And me …
I
was stupid …’

She looked out of the car window. A year ago they had everything going for them: good jobs, a nice place to live and a baby on the way. Life could have been good but it had been snatched away because of her stupid deceit, his intransigence and her sister’s total lack of family loyalty.

‘Seems he blew his chances at the Palace when he left without a word,’ Johnnie continued. ‘He was at work one day and then disappeared the next. Or so one of the Palace girls told Ruby. Not the way to be Mr Popularity!’

‘I know you don’t like to agree but this whole situation, all of it, is my fault. I wish I could go back to just before the wedding, I really do …’

‘But if you’d told Sean he probably wouldn’t have married you, and if you hadn’t got married you wouldn’t have Fay so there are two ways of looking at it. I’d go for the positive view myself, as someone who has cocked up so many times,’ Johnnie said quietly. ‘I mean, I feel so bad about Sadie, God rest her soul. I did that all wrong but I have my sons and I couldn’t wish them away.’

Gracie reached over and touched his hand on the steering wheel.

‘Thanks Johnnie, and thanks for coming to collect me. Babs said she’d bring me back but I didn’t want to put on her any more than I already have and I didn’t fancy the train with the carrycot.’

‘Can you imagine Ruby letting that happen? No, it’s my pleasure, my dear. And anyway it’s nice to have a drive out sometimes.’

Gracie looked at him and smiled.

Johnnie Riordan was tall, fair and slender in a fit, muscular way. Leaning back in the car seat, one hand relaxed on the steering wheel, his elbow on the armrest of the door and the other hand on his knee, he looked completely comfortable with himself and was happily driving slower than usual, aware of Fay in the back of the car.

When he’d arrived to collect her from the Wheatons, Gracie had watched him say hello to Maggie as if she was just a child he knew. She had been overwhelmed with admiration for both him and Ruby at the way they could brush their own feelings aside in the best interests of their daughter.

When Gracie had first met him, all those years ago, she had been defensive of Ruby and naturally wary of him, because it was no secret that Johnnie Riordan had been a bit of a lad in the past, and he was also married.

At that time he worked in a public house in Wanstead but he was also a self-proclaimed businessman, an ambitious wheeler dealer who mostly operated on the very edge of legal, occasionally slipping over into the really dodgy territory of London’s gangland.

Everything she knew went against him but Ruby loved him and Gracie had soon been won over.

Ruby had been barely sixteen when they’d met and he was a few years older but much more streetwise; they had instantly clicked but it had all gone wrong when Ruby left Walthamstow and didn’t return. It was several years later he had found out that she had run away because she was expecting his baby.

‘What was Sean saying?’ Gracie asked, getting back to the present. ‘I mean, what was the gist of it through the drink? I just need to know how he’s thinking.’

‘I think you have to ask Ruby when we get back, she got the brunt of it. But for now you just relax and enjoy the rest of the journey. There’s plenty of time for the other stuff when you get back to the madhouse that is Thamesview!’ Johnnie laughed. ‘So tell me, how are you feeling now? I bet you enjoyed your holiday. George and Babs always push the boat out for guests …’