Grand Slam Man

Published by Accent Press Ltd – 2013

ISBN 9781908917539

Copyright © Dan Lydiate 2013

The right of Dan Lydiate to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publishers: Accent Press Ltd, The Old School, Upper High St, Bedlinog, MidGlamorgan, CF46 6RY.

The Quick Reads project in Wales is an initiative coordinated by the Welsh Books Council and supported by the Welsh Government.

Printed and bound in the UK

Cover design by Madamadari

Grand Slam Man

Dan Lydiate

ACCENT PRESS LTD

Chapter One

A LUCKY MAN

When I look back on my Grand Slam year, I consider myself a very lucky man. To have won the Slam with Wales and be named Six Nations Player of the Tournament is the kind of stuff dreams are made of.

But then, I have more reason than most to feel lucky.

Back in November 2007, I suffered an injury that could have ended my rugby career.

I was only nineteen at the time and had just started playing for the Newport Gwent Dragons. So when I was selected to play against Perpignan in a big Heineken Cup match out in France I was very excited.

But within minutes of the kickoff, my world was turned upside down. I can still remember exactly how it happened. I'd come across the field to tackle one of their players and after tackling him ended up sitting on the ground. Then everyone piled over me and my head snapped forward. I heard a big crunch in my neck and thought, ‘That's not good.' I wasn't knocked unconscious, so I tried to get up. But I couldn't, and I was losing the feeling in my legs and arms. So I tried to keep them moving because I thought that if I stopped I wouldn't be able to get them going again. I was thinking: ‘Will I be able to walk again? Will I be able to lead a normal life?' It was pretty scary, and rugby went to the back of my mind.

Dee Clark, the Dragons' team doctor, came running on to the pitch and looked after me, and I realise now that if it had to happen, this was the best place it could have happened. All the medical facilities were on hand and from the start the treatment I had was second to none. It turned out I had suffered a crushed disc, broken vertebrae and ripped a load of ligaments. I had broken my neck. I now appreciate just how lucky I was to receive such excellent care from the Dragons' medical staff and everyone else who looked after me.

After a few days' treatment in France, I was flown back to Wales in an air ambulance. I was wearing a special cast that locked my jaw together to stop me moving my neck. Once back in Wales, I was transferred to Morriston Hospital in Swansea to undergo surgery. It was made clear to me that if I didn't have an operation I would definitely never be able to play rugby again and I could be paralysed by the smallest of falls. During a five-hour operation, they removed the crushed disc in my neck and replaced it with a bone graft from my hip, inserting a plate in my neck. They basically screwed me back together.

Happily, the surgery was a success. The surgeon, John Martin, did a great job. Once I'd had the operation, they said there was no reason why I couldn't play again. So I began to think about the next step on the recovery trail and I started building from there.

I'd only played a handful of games for the Dragons and I'd really enjoyed them. I'd had a taste of the game and wanted more. That's what spurred me to get back into it. I went for regular checkups at the hospital and X-rays every six weeks. It was a case of seeing how things went. But by the new year, I was exercising my legs and on the road to recovery.

The toughest thing was seeing the Dragons playing on television. That really got to me. Also in January, I went down to Rodney Parade to watch the return match against Perpignan, and that was quite emotional.

So it was tough at times, but I had a lot of support from my family, the doctors and the people at the Dragons. My family were obviously a bit worried about me playing again, but supported whatever I decided. In fact my mum still worries now when anyone goes down and is nervous when I play, as is my girlfriend Nia, but she still comes to watch the games with my dad.

It was a long road back for me, and a lot of work along the way, but by September 2008 I was back on the field. I was nervous at the start, but as soon as I got the first tackle out of the way I was OK.

People have said to me that I was unlucky to get injured when I'd just started my career. But I really count my blessings. The injury could have been so much worse. Not just a case of not playing rugby again, I might not have been able to walk again. So, I do definitely feel lucky.

What happened to me is one of those things that happens a fair bit in rugby. I was at the Millennium Stadium a couple of years ago when the Scotland winger Tom Evans suffered a broken neck against Wales, an injury which ended his career. It happened when he collided with Lee Byrne's hip. You wouldn't have thought that could have done the damage that it did.

Then there was the case of Matt Hampson, the prop from Leicester, who was paralysed after a scrum collapsed in training. He must have hit a scrummaging machine hundreds of times before that and gone into countless scrums, but that one day something happened.

On the other hand, sometimes you see a tackle and hear the impact and you think that player's in trouble, but he just jumps right back up and carries on with the game.

The game we play is a dangerous sport. Players are so strong and so powerful now and the collisions are so big. But the fact is that you can get hurt in any walk of life. When I went to Morriston to have my surgery, there was a bloke in there recovering from the same operation. He actually had fractures at two levels in his neck. I asked him how he did it and he said he'd been shopping! He was filling his car up with bags and as he pulled the boot down it hit him on his head! These things just happen in life. People break bones. The chances are I will break a few more bones along the way, but that's life. You can get knocked down crossing the road.

I don't often think about my accident these days. You soon forget bad times. The only time I've thought about it in the last year or so was when I went back out to Perpignan to play for the Dragons last season. It was the first time I had been back there since I got injured.

Before the game, we went into the stadium for a walk through and I walked over to where it had happened on the pitch. During that whole trip I was remembering things from four years earlier, conversations and images which I hadn't remembered since. It triggered so many memories.

When I walked into the changing room before the game, I looked at where I had sat the previous time. They put the jerseys up and I was seated opposite where I had changed before. I was glad I wasn't in the same place. I was captain of the Dragons that day and before the game I was trying to give my skipper's speech. But I had demons in my head. I shouldn't have been captain really.

We lost the game, but I was happy just to get through it uninjured and walk back into the changing rooms. And I thought to myself, ‘That's it, that's that put to bed.'

A lot has happened to me since that day in Perpignan in 2007. And certainly when you achieve something after adversity, it does make it all the sweeter.

When you start playing rugby, your aim is to play for Wales. But when an injury like that happens, you are happy just to walk again. Then, once you restart training, you get the bug again, and again start wondering, ‘What if?'

When I first got capped, I came on for ten minutes against Argentina, and I had to go back out and do fitness training after the match because I'd been on for such a short time. It was hard work, but I was running with a smile on my face because of the feeling that I'd done it. I'd achieved one of my goals.

However, as soon as you get your first cap, you want more. You get the taste, and you to want to win things. For me, that desire to win climaxed last year when we beat France at the Millennium Stadium to complete the Six Nations Grand Slam. When the final whistle went, I felt very emotional. Standing there, having won the Grand Slam, was a really big moment. After everything I had been through, it just meant so much, and I realised again what a lucky man I am.

Chapter Two

THE SLAM BEGINS – WITHOUT ME

Going into the 2012 Six Nations, there was a lot of expectation on Wales. We'd had a lot of praise for what we'd achieved in the 2011 Rugby World Cup out in New Zealand, where we'd finished fourth. The World Cup was a brilliant experience, but I felt we could have done much more. And it was really hard to go out the way we did, losing the semi-final to France by just one point.

So as a group of players, we felt quite disappointed coming home. We'd had a really good chance and chances don't come around that often. It was an opportunity missed. However, there was a lot of praise for us in the press, with people saying that this was the team for the future. But as players you don't just want to be talked about. You want to win things! The only place to do your talking is on the field and we'd lost that semi-final.

The bunch of boys who are with Wales at the moment are all pushing towards the same goal. When we are in training, we really spur each other on and it's a great environment to be in. So there was pressure on us going into the Six Nations, from inside the camp as much as from outside.

But we were full of confidence. The buildup to the World Cup, with all the months of training and fitness work, had put us in such a good place. Whoever we were up against, we believed we could beat them. So everyone was looking forward to the opening game of the championship against Ireland and determined to make a good start.

Unfortunately, I wasn't going to be part of that Dublin match. It's funny really what happened, although it didn't feel funny at the time. In the first game I had for the Dragons after coming back from the World Cup, I got injured against Italian team Prato. Their blindside flanker tackled me and I hurt my ankle as I went down. That put me out for a couple of weeks. Then, towards the end of January, Prato came over for the return and guess what?

The same guy tackled me again and exactly the same thing happened! It was Sod's Law! If I ever come across him again, I'll try and run away from him!

I was really fed up leaving the field that day because I didn't know how bad it was or how long I would be out for, and I knew the Six Nations was coming up. However, Wales still took me to their pre-tournament training camp in Poland and I was able to do a fair amount of work off my feet. I was in the pool every day and it's just good to be in that environment, even if you are injured. You want to push on.

The Welsh medical staff are world class. They proved that with the work they did with me in the World Cup to get me back to fitness after another ankle injury. Me and my ankle! If there is any chance of getting you back fit to play, they will get you there. It's hard for a player, trying to come back after injury. Any chance you get to be involved, you always say you'll play. And in every game, all the boys are carrying injuries. You've always got some little niggle or pain. That's just the physical nature of the sport. I really wanted to play against Ireland, but because I wasn't quite right, I could have missed a tackle where they scored a try. I could have made a fool of myself and been dropped right out of the team and had to wait another year to get my place back. I wasn't quite ready so I had to miss out, with Ryan Jones coming in at No 6. It's just one of those things.

I didn't travel to Dublin for the game. I had had an injection in my ankle to kill the pain, so I basically had my feet up for three days, just stewing in my house in Newport, and ended up watching the match on television.

I don't like watching games, especially when it's your team that's playing. It kills you, watching it. I'm not a good spectator and I was on tenterhooks the whole game. You almost break into a sweat because you know what the players are going through, and go through it with them, blow for blow.

In fact it turned out to be a really exciting match, although it just about wrecked me. A real cliffhanger, with the lead swinging to and fro. In the end, it all hinged on a penalty from the Wales fullback Leigh Halfpenny, with just a couple of minutes left. If he kicked it, we would win the game. If he missed, we would lose. No pressure then! But if there's anybody you'd want in that situation it's Leigh. Sometimes I think there's something not quite right with that guy! He's the most professional person you could meet. He's always practising and he always stays behind after training to do extra work on his kicking. During the World Cup semi-final against France, he had been just short with a long-range penalty which would have won the game, and it really cut him up that he missed that. It was a hard kick and he came close, so nobody blamed him at all. But he blamed himself. That's the kind of guy he is. He's a perfectionist.

Ever since that kick, he'd told himself that if he was ever in that position again, he was going to nail it. So he worked at it and worked at it in training. After a session, I would ask him, ‘How did it go today?' and he would say, ‘Oh, I got every one.' But he wouldn't make any fuss about it. That's just the standard he sets for himself.

With Leigh in the team, if you win a penalty, you basically know that's three points, which is brilliant.

But he'd only just taken over the goalkicking duties when we were awarded that penalty against Ireland. I don't know what his nerves were like stepping up for that kick, but I know mine were in shreds. I watched that kick through my fingers.

But he held his nerve and it was fantastic to see the ball going over.

It was great for Leigh, especially after the one he just failed with against France. I was so pleased for him. The pressure was on again, but he'd nailed it. It meant we had won the game 23–21 and it was a fantastic start to the Six Nations. The team had kept giving everything right to the end and showed just how much they wanted it. They'd come through and were brilliant.

When the whistle went, I was so disappointed that I wasn't there. I saw all the boys run on the pitch to celebrate and I just wanted to be there and in the changing rooms afterwards.

When you are on the field, it's the hardest place in the world to be. You are giving your all, someone is trying to run over you, you are trying to hurt them. And, in international rugby, you are digging in from the first minute, it is so hard. But at the end, if you have given everything and you know your teammates realise that, you get huge pleasure from doing it. After the final whistle goes, you walk back into the changing rooms and if you've had a good game, you can put your feet up and start playing the game back in your head.

I did have my feet up after that Ireland game, but not for the reason I would have wanted. Missing that first match of the championship was very hard. So I faced a double battle. A battle to get back to fitness and a battle to get back into the team.