Grandfather (17 page)

Jaclyn.

Benjamin.

Carsyn Hawkins?

I never knew a thing about
my parents. Neither did the orphanage. I was dropped off, no names
given but my own. The orphanage told me they tried tracking my name
to find a birth certificate or something, but they didn’t find
anything. I was never sure if they actually tried tracking it down.
I really doubt it.

Now I faced a similar
problem as I did when I came with Edgar. I had the same question I
had been having over the past couple of weeks. Was it true, or was
it not? Did Cornelius actually know who my parents were? And if so,
were they just as evil as Cornelius? If they were friends, then
there was a good chance. Unless Cornelius wasn’t evil. But he had
to be. Unless we were all mistaking. But the way he talked to us in
the city. But . . . but.

That’s when the anger
came. I was furious at all the confusion that had suddenly entered
my life. Not knowing what was true was terrible, and it just made
me all the angrier. Then I thought of how – if it
was
true – terrible it
was that Benjamin – my dad – had thrown me into the orphanage. I
hated him for it, making me go through all that.

Then curiosity mingled in
with my anger. I wondered what it was Cornelius had to give me. He
said it was from my dad. Then the anger would get worse because I
didn’t know the truth. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.
Why was it so hard to get the truth?

“Ya okay?” Edgar asked me
quietly.

I didn’t reply, looking at
the floor. No eyes staring into mine there.

“Carsyn,” Mae said,
leaning her head down, trying to make eye contact as if I was a
child.

I didn’t reply.

“Carsyn,” Edgar tried
again.

I still said nothing. I
waited for him to get angry as usual, but he didn’t. It was a good
thing because I would’ve snapped.

“
He’s smart,” Edgar said,
turning his attention to Mae. “That damn stunt just got him
sympathy from almost every person out there. Now people are going
to think he’s some sensitive guy. Be a helluva lot harder for
people to realize what he’s doing. His next move will be overlooked
easily.”

“
Carsyn,” Marley said
immediately after Edgar was done speaking.

This time, I answered
them. It was simple. “I’m going to my room.”

Nobody argued. They were
silent. I left the table. Eyes continued to stare me down as I
exited the dining room.

Parents. Grandfather.
Cornelius. Parents.
Not many kids
mentioned their parents at the orphanage, but I knew they all
thought it. We all wondered why fate had landed us in such a
horrible place. What kid wouldn’t want to know about their parents?
But it was impossible to find answers at the orphanage.

But was it possible that I
finally had a way to get answers? It
was
possible, but that wasn’t the
problem. The problem was that only one person knew the answer, and
he was the enemy. Unless we were wrong about him. Suddenly things
had gotten a lot more complicated.

Chapter Eight

I
was lucky to find the hilltop without Marley’s help. I sat
there, legs dangling over the ledge, eyes glued to the city,
wondering what Cornelius was doing. The tallest building kept
drawing my attention. That had to be the Presidential Tower. He was
probably surrounded by servants and luxurious items. I wondered if
there was something he didn’t have, other than me.

The kids within the wall
probably had it all. They probably had their parents who took care
of them, throwing a bitcoin card at every problem. No matter how
hard I tried to get it out of my mind, it came up. Was Cornelius
telling the truth? Was Benjamin really my dad? Did Cornelius
actually have something from my father to give to me?

Edgar and Belladonna
eventually found me roaming the halls. I knew it was only a matter
of time before they came looking for me.

“
Whatcha thinking?” Edgar
asked.

I looked at him as if he
was stupid. “Seriously? What do you think?”

He looked taken aback but
didn’t argue with me. I think he knew I was on the edge. Belladonna
gave me a comforting smile. Not even that made me feel
better.

“Your time here has been
very difficult, I understand that,” she said. “I mean, first you
have to deal with finding out if Grandfather exists or not. You
find out they do, and Cornelius throws more questions at you. We
orphans usually go our entire short life without knowing about our
parents. So, I understand . . . this is a big deal.”

I looked into her eyes. “I
just want answers,” I said. “I want to know if it’s all true. It’s
killing me!”

Edgar walked closer to me.
“Carsyn. You have to understand that Grandfather will do anything
to get people to join their side. That damn story has people
feeling sorry for Cornelius. That story showed people their
president has a personal story like everybody else. After meeting
you and you getting away, he’s probably trying to get to
ya.”

“Edgar’s right,”
Belladonna said. “I know you don’t want to hear that.”

Edgar actually looked a
bit sad. But Belladonna was right. I definitely didn’t want to hear
that.

“You think he made it up?”
I asked.

“Most likely,” Edgar said.
“If he did, it sure as hell is working.”

I thought about the
possibility of Cornelius lying. It was definitely possible, but I
had to find out for myself. I turned to Belladonna. “You think
Cornelius made it up?”

She nodded as she played
with her hair. “I really think so,” she told me.

“But it’s also possible
that it’s true?” I asked.

Edgar shook his head
furiously. “Not a chance,” he said.

“How can you say that?” I
argued. “If it’s possible he’s lying, then it’s also possible he’s
telling the truth. You don’t know for sure, just as I don’t. Quit
being that way!”

Man, I was so angry and
confused, I didn’t care about Edgar. I actually think I wanted him
to argue, just so I could scream at him. He took a step back, his
eyes wide. He didn’t say anything.

I took a breath and looked
at Belladonna. “What do you think?”

She hesitated. Then, she
said, “I’m not going to lie to you. It
could
be the truth.”

“Belladonna,” Edgar said.
“You honestly think – ”

“We don’t know, Edgar,”
Belladonna said. “We honestly don’t know. Now Robert will be going
within the wall tomorrow, and hopefully he can learn more about it.
I don’t think it’s true, but we don’t know.”

I nodded. That’s what I
wanted to hear: the truth. Edgar didn’t seem satisfied but he
didn’t say anything about it.

“I’ll go and see what
people are saying outside of the wall,” Edgar said. “See if they’ve
fallen for it too.”

Belladonna nodded with
satisfaction. She looked at me. “Patience,” she said. “You have to
be patient.”

I didn’t want to be
patient. It was as if Edgar knew this. “Stay calm and don’t do
anything stupid,” he told me before leaving.

I didn’t want to talk to
anybody. Too much to think about, so I kept to myself over the next
week, and everyone seemed to respect that. Nobody asked me any
questions or told me anything. Like me, they didn’t know what to
think. I tried putting it out of my mind, but something like that
just doesn’t go away easily. I hoped Robert and Edgar would have
learned something new, but they never. I just couldn’t be patient.
The only way to resolve my problems was to find an answer myself.
As I told Belladonna before, I wanted to see or hear the truth for
myself. On the hill, I told Marley and Ashton my idea.

“
You want to go back to the
city?” Marley asked, loudly. “Are you crazy?”

“
Maybe,” I said. “But I
have to find out.”

Ashton placed a hand on
his forehead, shaking his head. “You’d go in there, find Cornelius,
maybe find the truth if he’d tell you, and then you’d probably be
killed.”

“
He won’t kill me,” I
said.

“
How do you know?” Marley
asked. “Please, Carsyn. Tell me how you know.”

“
So you think Cornelius has
been looking for me this entire time just to kill me?”

They didn’t say
anything.

“
He needs me for
something,” I continued. “He either wants me because the whole
story about my parents is true, or he wants me for some other
reason. He needs me for something so he won’t kill me.

They still said nothing,
knowing I was right. I mean, it did make sense. It was highly
unlikely that Cornelius had been searching for me just to have me
killed. I would stay alive if I found him.

“
This is stupid,” Marley
said. “You can’t.”

“
This is about my parents,”
I argued. “This is something I have to figure out.”

“
Okay,” Marley said. “Say
you do find out the truth. You think the Grand Imperial will just
let you walk out . . . just like that? He’ll probably keep you
there.”

“
I don’t know,” I said,
honestly. It had crossed my mind, but for some reason, that was the
least of my worries. I’d worry about that when the time came. “At
least he won’t have me killed. I can find a way out.”

Marley shook her head in
anger, her hands on her hips. “And what makes you think that?”
Marley asked. She turned around and looked at the sky. “This is
stupid.”

“
Carsyn,” Ashton said
slowly. “This is probably all a part of his plan. He’s probably
trying to lure you in.”

I shrugged my shoulders.
“Maybe,” I said. “But once again, I have to figure it out for
myself. I’m gonna go crazy down here if I don’t figure it out. Do
you know how much sleep I’ve gotten?”

Ashton looked more worried
than angry. He looked at me as if he felt sorry for me. I didn’t
like being looked at that way.

“
Okay,”
Marley said. “Think about this
. .
.
how you going to get
there?”

Marley had picked out one
of the many flaws in my plan. It would be a long walk. I didn’t
have access to Robert’s driver, I didn’t have bitcoin for a cab,
and I certainly couldn’t ask Edgar for his card. Nobody could know
what I was going to do.

“
I’m working on that,” I
said.

Marley laughed, nervously.
“I won’t let you go,” she said. “I’ll tell Edgar and Belladonna,
and they’ll stop you.”

“
I chose to come down
here,” I said, sharply. “I can choose to leave if I
want.”

Yeah right. I knew that
wasn’t going to happen, having nowhere to go and all. But Marley
didn’t need to know that.

“
You know what,” Ashton
said. “Fine. If you want to go, that’s up to you. But all I ask is
for you think about it for a little bit. Maybe something’ll come
up.”

“
Like what?” I
asked.

“
Well, the press is
probably still checking everything out about your supposal parents.
Just like Mae said, they’ll dig deep. It’s the biggest
news.”

“
That’s right,” Marley
intervened.

“
The press will check the
story out,” Ashton finished sternly.

“
They’ll dig, and with
hope, they’ll find out it’s a lie. And –”

“
A lie?” I snapped. “I kind
of don’t want it to be. This is the first time in my life my
parents have come up; the first time I may have some answers about
myself.”

After a few seconds of
silence, Marley said slowly, “I know you want answers. But not by
him.”

She was probably right.
Cornelius wasn’t somebody to trust. But as I said before, I had to
find out for myself, even if that meant meeting him again. If there
were somebody else out there, I would’ve gone to them. But the sad
truth was that Cornelius was the only one with the truth. And what
if that was the real reason he was looking for me? Maybe I wasn’t
in danger. Again, I was confused.

“
I’ll make you a deal,”
Ashton said. “You wait to see what the press comes up with, then
I’ll go with you if they say it’s true.”

“
No,” Marley said in a
stern voice. “He may not kill Carsyn, but you . . . he
will.”

“
I can at least make the
journey with you,” Ashton said. “Then when it’s time to see
Cornelius again, I’ll back away.”

I thought about it. Marley
paced back and forth, shaking her head. Ashton watched me waiting
for an answer.

“
Too dangerous,”

He looked at the ground,
shaking his head. “Then I’m afraid I’m with Marley on this one,” he
said. “I’ll tell Edgar.”

I was cornered. I knew if
Edgar and Belladonna found out what I was planning, they would
freak out, overreact, and probably have my every move watched. I
couldn’t risk that because for one, I wouldn’t be able to come to
our secret spot and still keep it a secret, and two, I didn’t want
to be lodged away in my room. Sure, at first it was nice locking
myself in, staying away from people. But after a while, the bedroom
seemed to shrink. I needed more space. I looked at Ashton, and then
at Marley, who had stopped pacing and watched me, waiting for an
answer.