Grasping at Eternity (The Kindrily) (32 page)

Shadows swept over his eyes. I’d never seen him look so hurt. I felt awful, but he needed to know the truth. I’d put off telling him my decision for too long.

“Right,” he mumbled. “Get some sleep.”

He left and I crawled into bed. I closed my eyes and kept picturing Nathan. I couldn’t imagine him acting like River. It occurred to me that if all this was true, if Nathan and I had been together in other lives and he remembered it; it meant we had kissed—lots of times. My cheeks warmed thinking about what other things we must’ve done when we were—it was hard to even think the word—married. Oh my god, did he think about stuff like that when he looked at me? How embarrassing.

How could I ever face Nathan again?

∞

I dreamed about Nathan non-stop: replays from the hospital, the balloon ride, him giving me my car. Every time he disappeared, I screamed for him to come back. The last time I called out his name, I woke myself up.

River was standing over me. The room was dark, but I could see his silhouette. I prayed I hadn’t been yelling out Nathan’s name for real.

River sat on the edge of the bed. “You’ve been tossing and turning for hours.”

I rolled over and glanced at the window. Not a trace of sunlight. Eightball snored away beside me. “What time is it?”

“Almost ten.”

“Wow,” I groaned. “I slept all day?”

My eyes were adjusting to the lack of light, but I could see River fiddling with his wristband. “You needed it, and so did I. It gave me time to think.”

“About what?” I heard footsteps in the hallway and worried his uncle might be home. I didn’t want to look like a hussy coming out of River’s bedroom at ten o’clock at night.

“I’ve been acting like a tool. Even if we can only be friends—” he paused, glanced at his bedroom door, and lowered his voice. “Are you still set on the nothing but friends thing?”

Why did being honest make me feel so guilty? “Yes.”

“I figured.”

The footsteps started up again then faded. Someone had definitely been in the hallway, but it could’ve been the maid putting linens in the closet or something.

“Anyway,” River continued. “We never went out for your birthday, so I want to make it up to you. I planned a surprise.”

He was back. The fun friend I didn’t want to lose wanted to take me out for my birthday. I playfully nudged his knee. “Okay, but take it easy on me. I don’t know how many more surprises I can handle.”

Maryah

“Where are we going?” I climbed into River’s truck. He rarely took his 4x4 anywhere.

“You really don’t get the concept of a
surprise
, do you?” He turned up his stereo and his voice flooded through the speakers. They were songs I’d never heard him sing before—hard, angry rock.

We headed south and drove through the town of Oak Creek. We made a right onto an unlit dirt road, passing a sign that showed the way to Montezuma Well and Castle.

“Montezuma Castle?” I asked. Faith mentioned something about the ruins, but she said it was a tourist attraction and only open during the day.

“Maryah!” he howled.

“Right, it’s a surprise. Sorry.”

We bumped along the dirt road for a few miles. I couldn’t see anything except the few feet ahead of us illuminated by the headlights. After a sharp left, we off-roaded down a narrower path. I held on to the door handle and bounced in my seat until the truck stopped.

I stared out into the darkness. “Where are we?”

“Montezuma Well.”

“The sink hole?”

“It’s not a sink hole. It’s like a lake at the bottom of a canyon. It’s a sacred Indian site. An underground spring mysteriously fills it with warm water. Lots of magical things happen out here.”

I laughed. “You don’t believe in that stuff.”

“Usually no, but this place is different.”

“It’s pitch black out here. It would be nice if I could
see
the lake. Can’t we come back in the morning?”

“Tourists will be here during the day. If you come here at night and follow the Indian rituals, you can communicate with the other side.”

“You mean talk to ghosts?” I never believed it was possible, but lately people were talking about it as casually as the weather.

“Yup. With all this adopted family drama going on, I thought you might want to talk to your parents or brother. That’s my birthday gift to you.”

This was my chance to talk to my mother about her letter and ask her questions without Harmony being involved. “You really think it’ll work?”

“If so, this is your best shot.” River sounded confident. Maybe he had communicated with his parents.

“All right. I’m in!” We got out and he grabbed a duffel bag from the truck bed.

“Supplies we’ll need,” he explained, turning on a flashlight then reaching for my hand. River had loaned me a jacket, but after five minutes of walking my teeth were chattering. I stayed close to his side, only able to see a small amount of ground from the flashlight. I paused at the top of an outdoor staircase made from rocks. “Where do these steps go?”

“Down to the ruins—close to the water.”

“I’ve heard Indian sites are sacred. Maybe we shouldn’t be here.”

“It’s fine. I silently requested permission from the spirits when we parked.”

“Really?” I asked in astonishment. River wasn’t the spiritual or respectful type.

“They said it’s cool with them,” he snickered.

I laughed and it eased some of my fear. “Can you shine that flashlight around so I can see where we are? It’s kind of scary out here.”

“Fine, you big sissy.” The light spanned out into an enormous hole that ended in darkness. Cliffs of jagged rocks surrounded the sides, but railings and tourist signs were nearby. There was even a cement sidewalk, so how off limits or dangerous could it be?

We made our way down the twists and turns of the rocky stairs. For being such a magical place, it sure was spooky at night.

River dropped his duffel bag at a clearing near the water’s edge. “This is the place.”

He handed me the flashlight and I scanned the area around us. We were at the bottom of the massive well. The murky water was only a couple feet in front of us. A slimy film floated on its surface.

“Keep the light over here!”

“Sorry.” I aimed the light on him and the bag.

“I brought tea to keep us warm. It has herbs in it to help us relax and make a connection with the other side.”

I doubted herbs would connect me to spirits, but a hot drink sounded like heaven. I thought about the time Nathan brought me hot chocolate. I would have preferred that, but I was so cold my hands were going numb. River pulled out two thermoses and handed me one.

“Thanks.” I took a sip and struggled not to spit it out. Gross or not, it eased the cold so I choked down another sip. “It tastes like dirt.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not that bad.” He sipped his tea, and through the dim lighting I saw him smile.

“So, what do we do now?” I took a few more swallows, growing more worried by the second. What if an animal attacked us? There was no one around for miles if something went wrong. I felt my back pocket, confirming I had my cell phone.

“We relax and try to open our minds.” He spread out a blanket and sat down.

The cold had almost completely numbed my hands and feet. I dropped the flashlight and almost fell down, but I played off my swaying and settled onto the blanket. I leaned back against a tree and took another sip of dirt tea. River hummed a song I’d heard him sing before, but I couldn’t remember the words, which was strange because I never forgot lyrics.

He fiddled for something in his pocket. “Are you stoked to talk to your family?”

“It would mean the world to me.” My lips felt fuzzy and when I rubbed them together they became numb.

River clicked on a black-light keychain. “This is a scorpion finder. See, this place has a unique ecosystem. The lake has no fish because of the high carbon dioxide in the water, but scorpions and leeches live here. They come out at night to feed.”

“Gross,” I murmured. My lips were stuck together. I couldn’t move my tongue. A wave of panic ran through me as I made a muffled sound in my throat.

River leaned closer, illuminating his face with the black light. His pupils were huge. “Looks like the tea is working.”

I tried to make another noise, but nothing happened.

“As I was saying,” River went on, “scorpions even hang out in the trees.” He shined the black light right above me. “Careful, some are crawling on the tree you’re leaning against.”

I tried to leap up off the ground, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t just my voice or face. My whole body was numb. My neck muscles went limp, and my head bobbed forward. What the hell was going on?

River pushed my head back up. “The tea has some not-so-natural stuff in it, drugs that paralyze your muscles, but still let your mind work—kind of.” He caressed my face. “Don’t worry. You won’t need to move for what I have planned.”

Dread sank in. River drugged me? I knew about date rape drugs and to never accept a drink from a stranger, but this was my friend! Panic rushed through me with such intensity that my body should’ve been shaking.

“My uncle has been trying to rid this world of people like the Luna Lunatics for years. They’re part of some power-hungry cult. He warned me about your makeshift family and their delusions about having magic powers or whatever. At first you were just an assignment. I had to keep an eye on you and report anything suspicious. If I did my job well, he’d keep providing me with money, cars, and whatever I needed.” He stood up and paced above me. “But then I really fell for you. I told my uncle you were different from the Lunas, that if you knew about their reincarnation cult you’d never stay with them.”

His steps grew quicker. “Why couldn’t you just agree to be with me? I don’t know what else I could’ve done to win you over. I drive the best cars, I’m rich and good looking, I’m going to be a rock star for god’s sake!”

He leaned down, looking into my eyes. “My uncle gave me no choice. The house is bugged. He knows you know about everything. He knows you defended them. He heard you say we’d never be anything but friends. If I don’t do this, then I lose everything. I’ll have nowhere to live, no car, no money, no future whatsoever.”

Do what? What did River have to do to keep his snooty lifestyle? And why did his uncle care so much about any of this? He lived overseas!

“That family doesn’t deserve you. I know you’d rather be with your parents anyway.” He fumbled through his bag. “I didn’t want it to end like this, but at least you’ll get to be with your real family again.”

I’d never known true terror until that second. I wanted to cry, scream, to plead for mercy, but I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even shut my eyes.

“You won’t feel any pain. That’s why I made the tea. Between the leeches and scorpions, all evidence of your body will be erased. Those Luna freaks will think you ran away from their deranged little world.” He bent down in front of me again. “I’ll take good care of you.”

I wanted to spit on him and claw his eyes out.

“I know your brain is working. I’ve tried this tea a few times, so I know what you’re going through. I wanted to be able to tell you why I had to do this. You deserved an explanation.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a roll of duct tape. “This stuff is so strong it doesn’t lose its hold, even in water. We just need a big rock so you’ll sink to the bottom.”

How could he do this? How could he give a step by step play of his plans to murder me? Did he have no heart or conscience? He disappeared from view for a minute, but returned rolling a boulder half his size. He dragged me to it and spun me around. I couldn’t feel it, but my back was against the rock.

“Experts aren’t sure how deep the water is.” He struggled to catch his breath. “They tried to explore it with scuba equipment, but when they reached fifty feet, the divers couldn’t see through the wall of leeches.”

I didn’t know if he could see the horror in my eyes, but I was petrified. Why couldn’t my brain shut down like the rest of my body?

He lifted my hand into his. “You don’t think I’d throw you in there while you’re conscious do you? I’d never do something so evil.” He drew a heart on my palm with his finger. It was the only time during this nightmare that I was glad I couldn’t feel anything. “It’s the shooting you part I’m not looking forward to.”

Oh god! Why wasn’t my heart pounding? Was I already dying? River pulled out a gun and placed it next to the bag. The dense sound of duct tape being reeled off its roll echoed to the side of me.

“I’m sorry my uncle is forcing me to do this, but you’ll be on the other side in seconds.”

He circled me, wrapping the tape around me and the rock. I kept waiting to feel the tight binding against my chest, but physically I was numb. My mental hell, however, got worse with each passing second.

Months ago, I wouldn’t have cared about the gruesome way my life was ending. I would’ve been thrilled to be reunited with my family, no matter how I got there. But now, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to fight for my life. I wanted to fight harder than I’d ever fought for anything.

Faces flashed before my eyes. Krista, Aunt Sandy and Uncle Dave, Louise and Anthony, what would they think if they heard I went missing? Faith had warned me. Carson warned me. They knew River was bad, but I didn’t listen.

“I left something in the truck. Be right back.” River’s footsteps trampled away.

My cell phone rang underneath me. Probably Faith or Krista calling to check on me. I started sobbing inside. My soul ached as I thought of one last person, the one person I wanted to see more than anyone, more than any god or angel who might save me from River. I wanted to see Nathan.

My intuition whispered the same words it did on the night of the attack.

Concentrate on the eyes
.

Except, it wasn’t intuition. It was my own voice. Four words from another time or place that I promised myself I’d remember.
Concentrate on
his
eyes
.