Grave Shadows (12 page)

Chapter 47

Here I’d asked God to make me a good friend to Jeff,
and now I’d yelled at him and blown it.

“Sorry,” I said, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. Be angry all you want.” He sat up. “You know how long it’s been since anybody got mad enough at me to be honest?”

“I don’t understand.”

“My parents, teachers, everybody tries to be so careful. Drives me crazy. I can be a jerk, but everybody’s feeling so sorry for me that they don’t say anything. You don’t know how good it feels to have someone actually get mad.”

“You should spend more time around Ashley,” I said, and we both laughed.

Jeff sighed. “People try to keep stuff from you when they should just go ahead and say it. Like, I know why the doctor said I could go on this ride. He doesn’t think I have much longer, but would he or anybody else tell me that? No.”

I felt bad for keeping the trophy room secret from him, but I had promised his parents. He talked about school, people at church, and friends who talked down to him, like having cancer meant he couldn’t think anymore.

“Know what?” he said. “The one I’m really mad at is God. I try not to, but the truth is, when you boil it down, he let me get cancer.”

“Humph,” I said. “I always thought that God must trust you a lot to let you go through this.”

Jeff flinched. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he knew you believed in him. He must have known how you would react. He trusted you to go through it.”

Jeff frowned. “That’s a thought. He’s the one giving me the strength. That’s funny. I’m mad at the one giving me strength.”

I hadn’t meant to be profound. It just slipped out.

Chapter 48

I’d been praying for Leigh
for a long time. She’d been upset about her mom and little sister dying, and I knew she blamed God, even though she said she didn’t believe he even existed. I left the table and went up to her room, which was like walking into a lion’s den—a lion who didn’t make her bed and was painting her toenails.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to make this any better.”

“I just wanted to apologize,” I said. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

She shrugged and kept painting. “It’s not just you. Everybody’s buying into God these days. Taking the easy way out.”

“The easy way out?”

“God’s a crutch. You don’t have to deal with problems—you put them on God. If things go bad, it was his plan. He’s up there pulling the strings and we’re puppets. Does that offend you?”

“No, because I know you feel bad. And I’m guessing that Jeff’s cancer gets to you just like it does the rest of us.”

She sat on her bed. “How long have you known him?”

“Since we moved here.” I told her all the stories I knew, about how people laughed at him in gym class and how shocked we were when we heard the news.

“Is he going to die?” Leigh said.

I shook my head. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to keep fighting with you about God. I mean, I want you to believe, but I don’t think it’s good for us to be mad at each other.”

“Fine, but don’t waste your time,” she said. “I’ll never believe like you, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Chapter 49

I was on the bike,
near the edge of a canyon. The front wheel kept getting close to the edge of the drop-off, and there was no guardrail. The front tire kicked little pebbles over the side, and they bounced into the bottomless chasm.

A huge black bird flew beside me, looking me in the eye and cawing. Its wings brushed the front tire that got caught in a rut. If I didn’t get out, we’d plunge over the edge.

I looked back, but Jeff wasn’t there. I screamed, echoing off the canyon walls. I looked for other riders, but I was alone.

The rut swerved right, and my front tire went to the edge. I slammed on the brakes, but the pedals spun. I grabbed for handlebar brakes that weren’t there.

As the front tire left the pavement, I screamed again. The bike went out from under me, and I felt weightless, falling into the abyss.

“Bryce!” someone yelled. It was Jeff, calling me in my helmet.

I sat up straight in the tent. Jeff shook my shoulder. My legs trembled, and I wiped sweat from my forehead.

Jeff smirked. “Dreaming about Marion Quidley?”

“Wasn’t that bad. Just going over a cliff and falling to my death.”

“Did you hit bottom? I’ve heard you never actually hit bottom in those dreams. And if you do, it means you’re dead.”

“You woke me just in time.”

He picked up his digital recorder and punched Play. It was me moaning and groaning. Jeff laughed and I snatched it from him. He tried to grab it back, but I held it until I could erase my voice.

“What’d you do that for!?” he yelled.

“Serves you right for recording me,” I said. “Remember, no special preferences for people with cancer.”

He smiled, laid back on his sleeping bag, and opened the net above us so we could see the sky. There wasn’t much light from the nearby town, so it seemed we could see millions of stars.

“Tell me a secret,” Jeff said. “You can trust me.”

“Only if you tell me one.”

“Okay, but you have to promise that it stays right here.”

“Deal.”

Jeff searched for words. “I . . . I really like your sister.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. She’s pretty. Smart. And I love the way her hair smells.”

I laughed and Jeff socked me on the shoulder so hard I knew I’d have a bruise. “How would you know how her hair smells?”

“I sat behind her in second period. If she doesn’t dry her hair before school it takes that long to dry out. I think she uses Pert.”

I shook my head. “You and Skeeter are the only two who have a thing for her.”

“I didn’t say I was going to marry her or anything. It’s just that she’s the kind of girl I’d want to take to a movie or on a date when I grow up.”

“Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I hope you get to take her out sometime.”

“Okay, your turn.”

I thought hard. I didn’t have that many secrets, but two huge ones went through my mind.

“All right, but you have to swear—”

“You got it.”

“Remember the story a few months ago about the thieves up at Gold Camp Road?”

“Yeah, and a car that went into the water.”

“That was us—Ashley, Dylan, Sam, and me. We cracked the case.”

“You’re kidding! I knew you and Ashley liked to solve mysteries, but I never dreamed . . . Your secret’s a lot better than mine. Why can’t you tell anybody?”

“Long story,” I said. “It has something to do with Sam and what he used to do. I’d tell you more, but I promised I wouldn’t.”

He yawned. “It’s okay.” He seemed weaker now and pale in the moonlight.

We lay there, staring at the sky, for a long time.

Chapter 50

I was almost asleep when the phone rang.

“Sorry to call so late,” Taryn said. “You wanted to talk?”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’m wondering if Gunnar ever mentioned money problems.”

“All the time. That was one of the things we fought about.”

“Maybe he made some big purchase. Like an engagement ring.”

“If he bought a ring, it was a mystery to me.”

“But wouldn’t that explain it? He wanted to marry you, and when you broke up with him, he couldn’t take it. He pushed his Jeep in the lake and . . .”

“And what?” she said. “They haven’t found his body, have they?”

“No.”

“Then he pushed his Jeep in the lake and ran away? That makes no sense.” She paused. “Look, I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want you to call here anymore. I know you’re trying to help, but I’d rather you leave me alone.”