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“Take advantage? What would they do?”

“Just talk to you – well your soul, your body would still be out for the count,” I shuddered and he continued, “they aren’t the villai
ns here, if anyone is, it’s me. You wouldn’t be in trouble.
They would just want to know the truth.”

“So if they summon you, it’ll look to me like you’ve fainted?”

“Yes,” Marty sighed.

“How do I bring you back round?” I hated the thought of him not being with me, whether it was temporary or not.

“You can’t,
but you probably won’t notice.
Time goes slow
er here than it does up there.
A few hours up there would o
nly take up a few seconds here.
I’d be back before you noticed.”

“You could come back – if you were summoned? You’d still come back to Earth?” In my head, I’d imagined him disappearing in a puff of smoke if they found out.

“Only to p
ut things right.  Not to stay.”
He looked beaten already – he’d known, since he fell for me, that it could never work out.

“Can they summon me?
Force me to faint, so they can speak t
o me?” I was suddenly nervous.

“It has n
ever been done that way before.
But th
is is all new territory for me.
Angels u
sually want to help each other.
Being summoned rarely happens – it’s like a consequence we talk about, but nobody ever risks it.”

“Until you met m
e?” I gave him a wistful smile.
He stood up and
walked around the table to me.
He gently kissed me.

“Until I met you.
And you are worth all the risks in the world.” He kissed
me, again.

“Why me?
Why were you drawn to me?” I looked up at his eyes and felt as though I could drown in them.

“In all honesty – and I don’t mean this disrespectfully – I don’t know.” His eyes searched my face, as though he was checking I wasn’t offended.

“You’ve never been attracted to a human before, have you?” I asked, and
he shook his head in response.
“Have you ever been attracted to another
angel? Do angels fall in love?”
My heart rate sped up, fuelled by jealousy at the thought of him ever having loved someone else.

“Not in my personal experience,” he replied and I felt a wave
of relief wash through my body.
“Some angels, the ones who have been around for longer than me, do end up finding another angel to be their partner, but from what I know, that is more about compa
nionship than, well, lust.
I’ve never heard of another angel experiencing what I feel for you.” He smiled weakly and I blushed.

“I don’t understand why I’m different – I’m just a normal girl.”

“I wa
sn’t expecting to fall for you.
I honestly can’t explain it, but it has happened and I’
m so grateful to experience it.
Now, I know how happy the
people I’ve helped have been.”
He kissed me again, slowly, deeply; and I lost my train of thought for a few seconds,
before resuming my questions.

“How come they don’t know what goes on in the house?”

“Angels are not prone to spying
, or invading people’s privacy. It goes against our nature.
They would only watch inside the house if
they had good reason to do so.
And we haven’t given them good reason, so it should
be safe.
They would hear it though, if you said those wo
rds – no matter where we were.”
He looked tired and I realised I neve
r saw him looking tired before.
He always looked radiant to me.
“Any other questions?”

I thought for a moment.

“Can I have a kiss?”

The answer was yes.

Chapter 11

Our conversation e
choed around my head all night.
I was unnerved by him talking about being summoned, even though I had bee
n the one asking the questions.
The thought of him not being h
ere was more than I could bear.
It felt like our time together could be finished,
at any moment, with no warning.
I didn’t know how I would pick myself up and
continue, if that did happen.

I had a stilted sleep, waking up every few minutes and
struggling to drift away again.
Every time I woke up, I glanced over at Marty, sleeping peacefully, an
d wished it could be different.
I wished he was just a man, or that I was an angel – anything that would mean
we could be together, forever.
I moved closer to his sleeping body, needing to be able to touch him, to remind mysel
f, that he really did exist.

As the dawn broke, I was starting to reach the same conclusion he had reached weeks
ago – we were on borrowed time.
In my mind, there was only one tiny possibility of a happy ending, one small glimmer of hope, but I didn’t know how to approach the subject with him.

I tr
ied, several times, to ask him. Each time, I failed.
I felt stupid for even thinking it could be possible, but in the end, my fear of looking stupid lost out to my fear of losing
him forever.
We were in the hallway, getting ready to leave the house for our respective activities – him, to comfort the sick and
dying – me, to sing and dance.
The more I thought about it, the less worthy of him I felt.

“Marty?” I couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Yes?” He pulled on a scarf.

“Can angels become huma
n?” I practically whispered it.
The question hung
in the air for several seconds.
For once, I’d stunned the permanently unflappable Marty.

“I’ve never heard of it happening…in theory it is pos
sible.
We are souls and we have bodies – but our blood is completely different to yours, so there
would need to be huge changes.
It would have to be granted and I can only imagine it being allowed u
nder exceptional circumstances.
To be honest, all the angels I know are delighted with their position – we are created for helping people and
we take great pleasure in that.
I am the only one who would trade it all in.”

“Do you think it could be granted for you?” My heart raced at the possibility.

“No.
Not a
fter this.
The way
I have behaved is disgraceful.
Th
e other angels owe me nothing.”
H
e was silent for a few moments.
I had one more question and I didn’t want him to get angry at it.

“Can a human become an angel?” I averted my eyes from his penetrating gaze.

He sighed. “I don’t want anything about you to change.” His voice was firm.

“Is it possible?
F
or a human to become an angel?”
I looked back up at his eyes, a
nd the stare he gave me burned.
I returned his stare for a few moments, neither of us willing to back down.

“It is possible.
But it is not happening to you.” He was resolute.

“How can you say that? If there is a way for us to be together, then I’d do
it.
I’d do anything for you.”

“I know.
I wouldn’t allow it to happen to you.”

“But, if we could be together – surely it’s worth it? How does it happen?”

“It doesn’t happen to you.” His face was like thunder, but I wasn’t letting go until I knew why he was so against the idea.

“Marty, please, at
least tell me how it happens?”
I was pleading and tears
had started to stain my cheeks.
Marty took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and then wiped my
tears away with his fingers.

“I’m telling you now, Claudia, I will not
allow you to stop being human.
I’m only going to tell you about this so you will stop thi
nking that this is an option.”

I buried my head again
st his chest.
“OK,” I murmured.

“Most angels
are created as angels – I was.
It is very rare for a human to become an angel and the way it ha
ppens is incredibly unpleasant.
The human h
as to die before their time.
Their lif
e has to be stolen from them.”

“They have to be killed?” I whispered.

“Yes.
On occasion, if the higher angels see someone who has been denied their full time on Earth and the person is worthy, they can become an ange
l.
And the person has to agree to it – most people are happy just to enjoy the afterlife, they don’t wish to become
angels.
Humans are meant to be humans and
angels are meant to be angels.
Wanting to chang
e is atypical for both species.
It is incredibl
y rare.
I’ve only ever known of a human
becoming an angel three times.
And they all asked to return to their original s
tatus after a very short time.”
He embraced me, protectively. “There is no way I would ever allow someone to kill you.”

I nodded.
Emotion caught in my throat and I couldn’t find the words to say that I understood –
I felt the same way about him.
He kissed my forehead.

“I promise you, Claudia, I did try to think of a way that we could be together
forever and I found no answer.
All I can tell you is that I love you, and I will love you, f
orever, no matter where I am.”

“Then, that is enough.” I smiled at him, through my tears
, and he kissed me tenderly.
He grabbed my woolly hat from the shelf and placed it on my head, gently pulling it d
own over my ears.
He cradled my face in his hands and smiled warmly.

“You look utterly adorable.” He kissed my nose.
“You’re
amazing, just the way you are.
I’d never change a thing about you.”

I smiled. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

“Only a little
.
By the time you’ve walked in the cold for
a few minutes, you’ll be fine. Which lecture is it today?”
He could swing a conversation so quickly from the depths of angelic customs, to the trivialities of everyday life.

“English and then a rehearsal for t
he show.”
I rolled my eyes. “What time does your shift finish?”

“I’ll be there to m
eet you, after your rehearsal.” He smiled.
“I need
one last kiss before we leave.
Make it a good one, it has to last us the whole day.”

He pulled me close and I willingl
y put my lips to his.
My s
tomach fluttered with pleasure.
Too soon, he pulled away.

“We have to go; we can’t stay here all day.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, the
n smiled and nodded.
I knew he was right. He’
d been right about everything.

My first lecture was cancelled, due to the lecturer being off sick, so I decided to take myself off to the library to listen to the songs from the show and begin learning the scr
ipt.
I’d always found memorising so many words in the right order tough and I was envious of Marty’s skill to absorb the words the
first time he heard something.
I realised that he must have memorised every conversation we’d ever had, every word I’
d ever uttered in his presence.
It was an overwhelming thought.

The library was quiet and I found a deserted corner in
which to hide for a few hours.
I was grateful to be able to use this time – when I wouldn’t have been able to see Marty anyway – to learn my lines and lyrics, as it meant I would have no distra
ctions during my time with him.
I felt as though the time we had left together was precious, disappearing without permission, like sand
running through my fingertips.
He was ri
ght – we were on borrowed time.
Th
ere was no happy ending for us.
The thought made me sad, but I r
efused to give up what we had.

The time passed quickly, alone with my thoughts and music to f
ill it.
I headed for the rehearsal fe
eling more prepared than usual.
When I was at school, I’d had lead roles, but I always felt like I was holding everyone back with my sl
ow pace when learning my lines.
Today, I felt that Donna wouldn’t be humiliating
me for not knowing the songs.
I arrived at the drama studio to see some of the other studen
ts getting ready for rehearsal.
I felt like they all turned around to look at me when I entered, but it was
probably just my imagination.

Donna arrived a few steps
after me.
She was straight into work mode.

“Right, where are Claudia and Rob? Up here, now, I’d like to start with ‘
Clearly Wonderful
’. I know it’s not the first number, but that is where I want to start.” Her monotone voice hinted again at her boredom at the task in hand. I wondered briefly why she had decided to take this job, seeing as s
he appeared to hate it so much.
I put my bag down on the nearest row of seats and headed to the work space in the middle of the room.

“Good, that’s one – where’s Rob?” Donna’s question hung in the air for a few seconds, before one of the students was brave enough to answer her.

“He’s at the dentist.”

“Oh, that is just great,” her voice reeked of sarcasm, “he’s got the lead male role and he can’t be at the first rehearsal and doesn’
t even let me know.
F
ine, have we got all the girls?
At least you lot are
here, let’s do ‘
In the Spotlight
’.
Claudia, tell me you know this song at least?” Donna looked at me and I thought I could see her hoping she would catch me out.

“Yes, I know that one.” I smiled sweetly at Donna, knowing that would wind her up more than
anything else I could do.
She looked thrown for a moment.

“Well, let’s hope you can cope with the dancing.”

Donna started showing me and the other girls in the scene the routine she wa
nted us to learn.
The song started with a solo section from me, in which I copied the movements Donna
made as accurately as I could.
I’d always found learning movement easier than words and (much to Donna’s dismay, I suspect) I committed the sequence to
memory easily.
Following my solo, the other girls joined me on stage and we sang
the rest of the song together.
I was grateful for sharing Donna’s crit
ical attention with the others.
The steps themselves weren’t too hard, but the moves were raunchy and suggestive, which was embarrassing enough fully clothed – I dreaded to think how mortif
ied I would be in the costumes.
I had a feeling that this number might be hard for Marty to watch.

After teaching us the choreography, Donna wanted to watch the whole s
ong to see how it looked.
“I suppose you’ll want to dance to the soundtrack,
rather than the backing track?
You probably can’t sing and dance at the same time yet.” Donna stared at m
e, willing me to admit defeat.
I had other ideas.

“I’d love to sing to the backing track, as long as the other girls don’t mind?” I turned to look at the chorus girls, whose faces were amused – I think they wanted someone
to beat Donna at her own game.
They quickly glanced at each other, smiling and nodding.

Donna’s face looked like she was chewing a wasp. “As you wish, ladies.” She went to the tech box to put on the correct track. I spun round to face my cast mates.

“Thanks, girls, let’s show Donna what we can do, show her that her barbed comments won’t break us,” I smiled at them.

“Damn straight, Claudia,” one girl, whose name I couldn’t remember, smiled back.  “I’m sick of her cons
tantly trying to catch us out.”
There were some quick utterances of agreement and I felt like part of a team for the first time since my parents had d
ied.
It felt good.

The music started and I easily identified my cue to begin singing – that morning spe
nt in the library had paid off.
The words came naturally, leaving me free to concentrate on the movement and character. All my built-up sexual tension from the situation with Marty had found an outlet – I could be as provocative as I like
d here, it worked in my favour.
When the other girls joined me on stage, I remembered why
I had loved performing so much.
The number ended and the watching stude
nts burst into applause.
Donna was quiet for a few minutes and then her voice came out over the speakers, amplified from the tech box:

“Not bad.
Not bad.” There was a pause. “Claudia, I di
dn’t realise you were so short.
I hope you can dance in heels.”

I
bit my tongue.
I’d always been a bit sensitive about my height (or lack ther
eof) since I’d stopped growing.
I was a little shorter than average, but I’d met peop
le who were smaller than me.
I took a deep, calming breath.

“Of course, Donna, I have dance shoes with heels at home, I’ll bring them in next rehearsal.” I kept my breathing even.

“You sho
uld have brought them in today.
Right, I’d like to work with Mark and Helena on their duet now, everybody else, learn your lines and keep the noise down.”

As I left the staging area
, I glanced at the other girls.
They were all in flat shoes, like me, and o
ne of them was shorter than me.
I was sure Donna was picki
ng on me and I had no idea why.
I grabbed my bag, found a seat, got my script out and continued
to memorise the dialogue.
I decided staying one step ahead of Donna was going to be
difficult on this production.

Absorbed in my task, I didn’t hear Donna call my name.

“Claudia.
Earth to Claudia.  Could you possibly come and work on your solo?”

“Sorry, which song?”

Donna rolled her ey
es, “Your solo: ‘
His Shining Star
’.
Everyone else can go.”

I heard the other st
udents leave and my heart sank.
Her comments were cutting in front of others; I dreaded to think what s
he might say without witnesses.
I knew the song very well; in fact, it had become my second favourite from the whole show (just behind the song Marty
had sung to me in the kitchen).
Hopefully, I could impress her and get out to meet Marty as soon as possible.  The thought of seeing Marty made me more anxious to get started on this song and I went up to meet Donna in the staging area.

“Right, Claudia, you’re going to be on the stage on your own, so you
’d better not cock this one up.
Stand in the middle, I’ll put a spotlight on you and we will see what comes naturally to you.” She walked briskly off to the tech box, leaving me st
anding in the open space alone. That was it? That was my direction?
I’d never met a director like Donna, but I quickly imagined what my old drama teacher would have told me – believe in yourself, become the character an
d let the song tell the story.