stone could be sliced with a sword, I knew what it would look like. Justus lowered his head.
“Ghuardian, we all move on eventually. Now you’ll have your life back. Don’t worry about me.” I
turned to face him. “I want this more than you know. So much has changed in the past few
weeks, and I need you to trust that I’m making the right decision. People aren’t always who they
seem to be; you above anyone should know that. I’m not asking that you like it—I only want you
to accept it.”
Confusion streaked across his face like lightning and I smiled. “Never underestimate the
decision of a woman,” I told him. “Sometimes we do the most surprising things. You have to let me
make my own decisions when it comes to matters of the heart; love is unpredictable and makes
you do things you never imagined.”
I had to put him at ease and somehow, my words and reassuring tone did.
He folded his arms and leaned against the door. “If this is your decision, then what more can I
do to stop it? I’ve known you long enough, Learner, to have figured that much out. But know this:
if Tarek Thorn or any man ever lays a hand on you, then I will rip a hole in his universe.”
“How’s everything with Page?”
Justus spun around, and I could have sworn I saw that man blush.
“She’s… ah…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. All that and a bag of chips.”
Justus tilted his head over his shoulder and threw me a smile. The man had charm. Blue eyes
that could give the sky a run for its money, chiseled jaw, shaved head, masculine cologne,
expensive clothes, and a flashy smile. He never needed the gift he was given as a Mage—the one
he considered a curse. Justus was a natural-born charmer, whether he knew it or not.
I had caught him surfing websites for flowers, so I had a feeling that while he admitted
nothing, Justus was considering a little wooing of his own. I felt wistful that I would miss out on so
many things. Then again, Justus would probably back out or drag it on for years.
This part of my life was ending, and I would miss the banter I shared with Justus. He was a
Mage who upheld the laws, and I was an obstinate young Learner who broke them. Still, he was
confident that he would one day shape me into someone he could be proud of. It would take time
to squeeze out the impulsive nature that was so ripe within me.
Justus despised Tarek to the marrow. My Ghuardian had witnessed an attempt on my life by
this man. I’d come close to dying in his arms, and that kind of thing haunts a man. How I met
Logan was no secret, and Justus had eventually accepted our relationship, as I’d pointed out to
him in our previous argument. Immortals differ from humans in that we are more likely to accept
the improbable and more willing to believe that a person can change.
When Justus left the room, my heart thundered in my chest. HALO, the organization that
Justus worked for, brought down men like Tarek. But they had no power to protect lives—it’s not
what they did. If the Mageri found out about this and sufficient evidence was provided, it could
instigate war.
The scar on my neck burned and I covered it with my hand. The door suddenly swung open
and Christian came in and leaned against the wall.
“It’s done,” he said in a quiet voice.
My heart sank.
Logan had plenty of beautiful women from his past to choose from, and Christian had given
them all a little Vampire hypnosis to win him over again. It took very little convincing because
Logan was a prince among his kind—his family was coveted by Chitah women.
No one ever thinks the last time they’re with someone intimately could be the very last time. I
thought a lot about our time together at his condo that night and regretted that I wasn’t more
attentive. Why hadn’t I just thrown caution to the wind and shared a night of passion with him? I
would have let him remove my clothes and see all of me, because my modesty was one thing he
tried to protect. I would have spoken sweet words to him and not held back on my feelings
because of fear. I would have made love to him in front of that open window for all the world to
see, because now I’d never have that chance again. I would have savored our time together and
run my finger across the tiny laugh lines on his face as he held me close while we pillow-talked.
I would have loved him.
I would have told him.
“There’s just one problem,” Christian said, scratching his jaw and widening his stance.
I raised a brow.
Christian walked toward me with a pensive gaze. “He’s got the idea that there might be a
chance between you two. After everything, he’s clinging to a hope that’s preventing my magic
from taking hold. He told me he’d wait for you, and I wasn’t sure what he was rambling on about.”
“Then maybe I need to sever what he’s holding on to.”
Christian tilted his head.
“I know what to do to make this final between us. I can’t have him holding out for me. It
wouldn’t be fair for him to waste his life pining over someone who isn’t worth it. I refuse to see him
live his life feeling defeated by Tarek. Maybe this won’t affect him the way I think it will, but he
deserves better than that. I need privacy to do this, so I want you to be a shadow and out of
sight. No matter what happens, Christian, stay out of it.”
My tone was serious, and he nodded in response.
“Before I go through with it, there’s something else I want you to help me with. You might
know a little bit about this kind of thing, but I want to do it tonight. I’ll handle Logan tomorrow
since we have two more nights until the party.”
“Just say the word and I’ll make it so.”
Chapter 19
“Is it going to hurt?”
Paul gave a thin-lipped grin and winked, flashing his silver tooth. “It only hurts the first time,
but I think you’ve heard that before,” he said with a smoker’s chuckle.
“Ha. Funny.” I glanced around at the art on the wall while Paul got ready to ink me. I’d never
gotten a tattoo before, not that it was a big deal for a Mage since our body would gradually absorb
the ink because of our healing abilities.
“Why don’t you get this?” Christian said, sitting on top of a cabinet, holding up a thick book.
“Because that is a penis.”
“Isn’t that what all you ladies want?”
Paul snorted. “I had a guy come in recently who got one of those put on his head. I don’t know
what the hell the story was with that, but it was the funniest shit I’ve ever been a part of.” He
rolled up his chair. “Kept calling me a wanker or some shit, so I made his dick crooked.”
I glanced up nervously at him.
“Don’t worry, I take my job seriously. His will go away, but yours won’t. You sure about this?”
He had already drawn the outline—no sense in turning back now. Finn sat on the other side of
me, holding my right hand. When I had told him I was getting a tattoo, I made him swear up and
down not to tell a soul, especially Logan. Christian was going to alter his memory of what I got
tatted on me anyhow. I needed someone with me besides Christian, someone who wouldn’t ruin
the experience with jokes.
Justus wouldn’t understand. Adam was out for personal reasons, and Sunny once told me that
she’d disown me if I ever got myself marked up like some biker chick.
All my resources were tapped, except Finn. He was curious to see how the whole process
worked. I thumbed through the designs while Finn stood in front of the television watching rap
videos for twenty minutes.
According to Paul, Breed tattoo parlors operated a little differently. I had to sign a consent form
promising not to sue, maim, or kill him since I was paying extra for liquid fire. Paul instructed me to
remove my pants, and that didn’t fly well with Finn. Once he calmed down, Paul covered up the
important parts with a towel. He claimed he was the kind of artist who didn’t like stuff in the way.
Personally, I think Paul was just a big ol’ perv. He looked intimidated by Finn—a curious
reaction because Paul was also a Shifter, although he didn’t reveal to us what his animal was. Finn
wasn’t an intimidating kid.
Kid. I kept calling him kid because something about him exuded innocence. He once guessed
his age to be in his lower twenties, but something else to consider was that Shifters aged slowly.
Finn stood an inch taller than me, had beautiful hazel eyes, unruly hair the color of cinnamon,
and an elfin smile that made him seem as if he’d sprung out of a fantasy book.
He squeezed my hand.
“I’m okay, Finn. You look more nervous than I do.” I bit my lower lip.
I didn’t consider that this might have been upsetting for him, but a couple of times, he touched
his arm where the brand was.
“Is it that important?” he asked in a low voice.
I replied in a soft breath. “Yeah.”
The crinkle of a wrapper sounded from across the room and I lifted my head. Christian tossed a
yellow piece of plastic into the wastebasket and popped a butterscotch into his mouth. “I’d never
be caught dead with a tattoo.”
“People get inked for all kinds of reasons,” Paul piped in as he switched on the needle and
began. I grimaced. “Some like to decorate their body like a work of art, others want to remember a
moment in their life. And for some, it’s private. It’s like wearing a visible scar that marks their
heart. Sometimes the stories are good, and sometimes they’re shitty. And sometimes they don’t tell
me a damn thing.” His eyes fixated on the moving needle. “Then there’s love.”
“Feck love,” Christian spat. “Love fades and then you’re stuck with a rabbit or someone’s name
on your arse.”
Paul shut off his pen and burned Christian with a hot gaze. “Unlike a human, you can’t have a
tattoo removed when liquid fire is applied. If you haven’t met a woman worth marking your body
for in her honor, then you know diddly shit about love.” He lifted the sleeve of his shirt and
displayed a beautiful tattoo of a flower with a name on it. “You haven’t lived until you’ve met that
woman who will spark your fire and turn your entire world upside down. The one who makes you
reconcile with your past and become a better man. If love fades, it was never meant to be. When
it sticks to you like gum on your shoe, then that’s lasting love. It’s the one you weren’t expecting,
the one you can’t scrape off no matter how hard you try. It will either destroy you or fulfill you, but
it will change you. You think when I ink a name on someone’s skin that it means nothing? That the
person wouldn’t bleed and die for that name? You haven’t lived unless you’ve loved.”
Christian rolled his eyes and crunched on his candy.
“Can we get this over with?” I asked. “He’s just trying to provoke you so I’ll end up with a
blob.”
Finn stroked my hair to the side.
“How do you like Lucian?” I asked him once Paul resumed his artwork.
Finn shrugged with an uncertain expression. “He’s different.”
“How so?”
“He’s book smart but he’s kind of an a-hole. I mean, he says whatever without thinking
because in his mind he’s always right.”
“Ah, one of those. Doesn’t have a filter; reminds me of Simon.”
“No,” Finn corrected. “Simon’s funny. Lucian is… I don’t know how to describe him. He’s kind of
my height, so he doesn’t look like the others. And his hair is blacker than yours.”
My brows arched. “Really?”
No wonder his older brothers were so protective of him. Lucian would have been singled out for
sure. Not just because of his hair, but also his height.
Finn rubbed his nose against his shoulder. “Uh huh. He’s just scary smart. Like a mad scientist
or something.”
“That’s dramatic,” Christian mumbled.
“Let’s see you live with him,” Finn snapped back. “He’s got insomnia, so he paces at night and
my animal can’t get out,” he said, flicking his eyes at Paul. Finn didn’t reveal to just anyone what
his animal was, but I had a feeling Paul knew. It explained his strangely submissive behavior when
Finn spoke or looked at him.
“That’s not a bad thing, is it? I never got the impression from Logan that Lucian was a bad
seed.”
“Naw,” Finn said, relaxing in his chair. “Lucian’s just different, that’s all. He’s strict with the
tutoring and always thinks he’s right, even when he’s wrong.”
“That sounds familiar,” Christian blurted out. I gave him a frosty stare and he lifted his eyes to
the ceiling, studying the cracks.
“I like him,” Finn continued. “But his insomnia is starting to make me nervous. I need to get
out, if you know what I mean.”
His wolf needed to get out. A Shifter wasn’t supposed to cage their animal when it wanted to
play or else it would try to take over and not allow them to change back. A streak of rebellion, if
you will. So there had to be harmony between man and animal since they shared the same spirit. I
could already sense that Finn was restless from not having shifted—he was more temperamental
than usual.
A slow rap song came on and Paul’s needle hit a sensitive spot. I sucked in a sharp breath and