Gravity (Free Falling) (2 page)

“Hey
,” I said in a low voice being careful not to startle him.

He spun around to meet my gaze.  “Hey.
” 

We hugged and
my mind immediately shifted to thoughts of my father disapproving of me getting
‘too
close’
to boys…as he would say.  When I pulled away slightly, Antonio already knew why.  He was no stranger to my father’s views on me dating, so he eased his grip and let me back away without complaining.  I wasn’t this self-conscious when it was just the two of us, but in public I was always cautious. 

             
“Did you finish your assignment?”  I asked, trying to get both our minds off the awkward exchange.

             
“Yeah, it’s done.”  He laughed a little to himself.  “But I don’t think I did all that well.”

             
“That’s what happens when you put things off until the last minute,” I joked.  He smiled back and stared into my eyes briefly before leaning down to kiss me.  This time I was a little more at ease.  The hallway cleared out considerably which meant that we had fewer spectators now.             

“I think that’s our cue
,” he stated, acknowledging the warning bell that had just sounded.

             
“Yeah, I guess it is,” I replied, trying to mask the disappointment in my voice.  “I’ll see you in a little while then.”

             
“I’ll meet you at your locker after school,” he said just before turning to head back toward the stairs. I turned to find Leslie waiting about ten lockers away trying to give us privacy.  Hopefully she didn’t notice the surprised look on my face when our eyes met; I’d honestly forgotten that she was with me. 

             
“Ready?”  I asked.

             
“Yeah, we’d better hurry.  Ms. Jamison’s gonna trip if we get to her class late…….
again
.”  We both smiled and quickened our pace.

             
Upon reaching the door to our class, I was again reminded that many of the kids decided to leave early today.  There were only thirteen of us.  I could see the frustration in Ms. Jamison’s face as she marked us present in her attendance book.

It was never a good idea to upset Ms. Jamison.  She always found some way to return the favor and I had the feeling that today would be no different.
  The rest of us were about to pay the price for the other students ditching her class.  There was nothing to do but sit and brace myself for whatever she had in mind.  I slumped down in my chair and rested my head on the back of my seat, closing my eyes as I recapped my plans for the next day.  There was still so much to do before the dance. 

The door to the classroom unlatched, and
I heard another student enter, but didn’t open my eyes to observe.  The next second the tardy bell rang and Ms. Jamison promptly shut the door again to lock out anyone who tried to sneak in late.  I sat up straight in my chair and absentmindedly leaned to the left side of my desk where I’d placed my backpack on the floor. My fingers grazed the binding of my textbook and I gripped it.  As I came back up, prepared to flip to page 96 like Ms. Jamison instructed, I bumped heads with the student seated next to me who was apparently bending down to reach into their backpack at the precise time that I was coming back up.  The stinging pain that shot through my head wasn’t soothed at all when I reached up and placed my hand on top of it.  When I looked up, it was Anthony again; or AJ or whatever people called him.

I stared at him and sighed. 
You again
.  Despite my irritation, I did my best to compose myself this time to avoid overreacting as I had only minutes earlier.  Besides, it looked like he was hurt this time too.  He watched me, waiting for me to be overly dramatic again. 

             
“Did I do something to piss you off?”  I smiled to let him know I wasn’t serious.  “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you have it out for me today.”

“Yeah…..it kind of seems
that way I guess.  You alright?” He was visibly relieved that I didn’t seem angry. 

             
“Yeah, it’s cool,” I replied.

He stared a few seconds longer
than I deemed necessary, smiled when he realized it, and then casually turned to pay attention to Ms. Jamison who was beginning to write something on the board.  I sighed as I realized that she was assigning another group project.  They were famous for being extreme in every sense of the word. 

She began to speak.  “Alright class, I was saving this for the week after next, but you all did so well on your test on Wednesday that I decided to give you a
head start on this one.  You’ll be paired off into groups of two to three.  If your partners are absent today,” she rolled her eyes before continuing, “then you’ll need to fill them in on the details when they return Monday.  I’ve already assigned everyone to groups, so don’t bother worrying about it.”

I shot Leslie a look hoping that we would be working together.  She was already looking in my direction.  Ms. Jamison began with the students toward the front of the room, so I waited patiently for her to get to me. 

When she approached Leslie, she handed her the slip of paper with her group member’s names on it.  Leslie turned to me and smiled, letting me know that we’d be working together. 

Ms.
Jamison started to speak again. “Alright class.  Anyone who didn’t receive a piece of paper, your name is on one of the lists that I’ve passed out.  So at this time, please assemble your groups and I’ll be passing out the syllabus for the project.”

I gathered my belongings and headed toward the available seat next to Leslie.  As I sat down I saw her waving her hand to motion someone else in our direction.  I turned swiftly to see who she was beckoning…………...
AJ
.  I had more to do with this guy on
this
day than in all our years in school together.  He approached the seat directly in front of me and sat down. 

That scent.
  Was that
him?
  As he passed by, I caught a whiff of whatever cologne he was wearing.  The fragrance mingled perfectly with his body chemistry, creating an aroma that made me close my eyes to savor it.  A
single
girl would’ve been swooning…..but I’m already
had
a man. 

This
AJ had taken me by surprise more than once today – but none of those instances was more surprising than the commanding presence that he brought with him.  He was taller than most of the boys in the school, about 6’2” – maybe just an inch or two taller than Antonio.  His short, glossy, black hair was scattered all over his head in a deliberately messy way.  As I assessed his athletic build, I remembered that he was on the basketball team.  He had a style that, like his hair, was in thoughtful disarray – faded, tattered, designer jeans. My elbows rested on the desk while I observed closely.  I wouldn’t let myself admit that he was attractive, but I made a mental note to bring him to Megan’s attention; she’d
definitely
like him.  But maybe he wouldn’t be attracted to
her
.  Yeah, she’s definitely pretty, but maybe he didn’t like black girls.  That’s not something you see everyday – Asian men with Black women.  A black man with an Asian woman is a more common occurrence, but not the other way around.  All I’d have to do was just put the bug in Megan’s ear – the logistics were her problem. 

Ms. Jamison was suddenly distracted by a knock at the door.  The teacher from the class next to ours walked in and approached Ms. Jamison’s desk.  They didn’t appear to be disc
ussing anything work related; it looked more like friendly conversation, so they’d be a while.  Leslie turned her body in her chair until she was facing me.  She was always conscious of being friendly to everyone, so I wasn’t surprised when she struck up conversation with AJ. 

“So, are you going to the dance tomorrow?”
She asked him.

He
whipped his head in her direction, obviously shocked when he realized that she was talking to him. “Yeah,” he replied, straightening his posture.  “Wouldn’t that be against some rule not to go to the Homecoming Dance your senior year?”  He asked jokingly.

             
Leslie smiled, “Well, if it isn’t, it should be.  Are you taking your girlfriend?”  She asked without even considering the possibility of him attending the dance alone.  To myself, I wondered if her assumption was based on his above average looks.  When the thought entered my head, I cleared my throat as if he’d heard.

             
“I actually don’t have one of those,” he joked. 
Good!  He’s single – more info for Megan.  “
Me and a couple of my friends are riding together.  I guess there aren’t any ladies that want to put up with us for the night,” he said through his perfect smile.  I found it hard to imagine that he couldn’t find at
least
one girl to spend the evening with him.  Subconsciously, my eyes wandered over the details of his face and body as I let my imagination run a riot.  It startled me from my illicit thoughts when he glanced back at me briefly.  I sat back hoping that he didn’t realize I was staring.  His gaze was heavy and entrancing – leaving me to feel trapped in those few seconds that our eyes met.

Ms. Jamison
finished her conversation and was preparing to pass the syllabuses out.  She came to our group and handed us each a packet.  I was a relatively good student – all A’s and B’s – and I had full confidence in my ability to complete the assignment without any complications, but this project was going to end up being a big deal.  It was obviously extensive enough that the time we would be allotted in class wouldn’t be sufficient.  We only had three weeks to complete all the research, compile the data, create the graphs, and put our presentation together.

             
“Wow, she must really be mad to drop this on us before the dance,” AJ blurted. 

             
“I know.  This is no joke,” Leslie replied with a sigh.  “We’ll probably have to get together a couple times a week to get it done on time.”

There was a brief moment of silence. 

“Well, why don’t we all exchange numbers now so we’ll be able to contact each other,” AJ announced.  Without hesitation, he turned toward me to write his phone number at the top of my syllabus and then turned to do the same on Leslie’s.  Next, he took his cell phone from his pocket.  He stared, waiting for me divulge my phone number.  It took me a half second to catch on, but I recited it to him and Leslie followed suit.

When he turned back around to face the front of the classroom, he ran his fingers through his hair subconsciously
, leaving his hand at the back of his head for a few seconds.  I tried not to notice the way his arm flexed as he made the motion.  I glanced down at my syllabus to avert my eyes, but they locked on the digits he’d scribbled on the top of the page.  It took me a second, but I retrieved my cell phone from my purse and stored the number. 
This was going to be interesting……

The remainder of the class was pretty standard.  Ms. Jamison lectured for about 15 minutes or so.  Then she gave us a short in-class assignment that only took about 10 minutes.  When the bell rang I leaned down to pick up my backpack, naturally a little more cautiously than the last time.  Leslie was at Ms. Jamison’s desk turning in her assignment.  We walked out together, said our goodbyes, and the
n parted ways at the door, heading in opposite directions for our next classes. 

On my way,
I saw Megan at her locker and thought of the information I needed to pass on to her about AJ, prompting me to speed up in order to catch her before she walked off. Maybe they could hook up at the dance or something since neither of them had a date. 

“Megan,” I shouted fearing that I wouldn’t reach her in time.

              “Yeah?”  She seemed a little surprised by my eagerness. 

             
“I was trying to catch you.  I have some info that I think you’ll appreciate,” I said excitedly with a grin on my face.

             
“Ok……What’s up?”  She asked

             
“Well…….”   And that’s all that would come out – not a single mention of AJ’s name. 
Why couldn’t I allow the words to escape my lips?  What’s wrong with me? 
Megan would be grateful that I thought of him for her – especially when she
saw
him.  I tried again, “Uh……be prepared when you get to Ms. Jamison’s class.  She’s assigning group projects again.”  That was my save – sad I know.

I knew the low down on
this guy’s relationship status; heck I even had his number already if she wanted it, yet I was holding out on her?  It didn’t even make sense to
me
.

             
“Umm…..okay.  Thanks, I guess.”  She shot me a weird look like she thought I was on drugs or something and then walked away clutching her books against her chest. 
What the heck was that?  Why didn’t I just tell her that I wanted to hook her up with him?

Chapter Two

Unfortunately, AJ was still in the forefront of my mind even after I’d returned home from school.  I didn’t want to think of him – didn’t like that I couldn’t seem to help myself.  I tossed my backpack on the floor beside the desk and kicked off my shoes before throwing myself onto the bed.  As I lay there staring up at the ceiling, I thought back to the strange moment with Megan in the hall and again searched for an explanation.  The one that made the most sense to me was that I’d subconsciously held back because I was protecting her from getting her feelings hurt.  AJ probably wasn’t going to be into her anyway because of the whole race thing, so it would’ve been wrong for me to let her waste her time. 
That makes sense, right? 
That’s the only acceptable reason that I would’ve reacted that way.  However, the problem with that theory is that I’m not that noble and I knew deep down that there was more to it. 

For a brief moment I felt a flash of disappointm
ent for the way I’d conducted myself.  I felt like such an idiot for even caring – caring about what this guy thought; what kind of girl he did and didn’t like; and simply for having him on my mind at all.  Pushing the thought from my head, I decided to retreat to the attic.  That’s where I set up my makeshift art studio.  Painting always helped me make sense of things when life left me reeling with confusion.  I pulled on a pair of stretch pants and an old, oversized t-shirt that was already riddled with multicolored spatters of paint – and a few small holes from years of wear and tear.  When I opened the door, I paced up the attic steps quickly. 

Everything about my oasis w
as refreshingly comforting; from the familiar way the hazy light flowed in through the old windows, to the worn green paint on the window sill, and even the small faded blue loveseat situated against the far end of the room.  I’d adorned the walls with some of my own art work and added in a few pieces from local artists.  I flicked the switch at the top of the stairs, bringing to life the string of lights that I’d hung lining the ceiling rafters.  Taking in one breath of the stale attic air was enough for me to decide that I should open up a few windows too. 

The studio
– and I use this term loosely – was nothing fancy, but it was the one place that I could call my own and there were no rules.  I’d rarely allowed others into my personal hideaway, except for Leslie once and my parents of course.  It always seemed like too private a place to just invite others in indiscreetly.  Anyone with any sort of artistic inclination knows how difficult it is to allow others to experience the innermost workings of your mind.  Every stroke of the brush represents some interpretation of how I perceive life.  Forgive me, but I just don’t think everyone needs to know me like that.  The thought of it makes me more uncomfortable than I could ever begin to express.

After organizing my supplies, I
carried them over to the blank canvas awaiting me and closed my eyes.  The music lulling from my CD player took me to some place far away.  When I finished, I stood back to admire what I’d done.  Outside, I could see that it was almost completely dark.  The open shades allowed the glow from the street lamps to filter freely through the window.  Painting only temporarily freed me from my personal cross-examination about why I’d withheld the information from Megan, but I’d hoped that I could keep busy enough tonight in preparation for tomorrow’s events that I wouldn’t have much time to think of anything but the dance.

T
he soft knock at the attic door jolted me from my thoughts.  I took a deep breath before answering, “Yes?”

             
It was my father.  “Baby Girl, it’s time to eat.”

             
“Alright, Daddy, I’ll be down in a few,” I replied, letting out one last sigh of frustration before it was time to face my mother.  She has a sixth sense for knowing when I’m bothered by something.  Hiding these new and confusing feelings from her wouldn’t be an easy task by any means.  I shuffled to the sink to wash the paint from my hands and glanced over at the small mirror that hung beside the light switch.  I ran my fingers through my hair and practiced making my face look as stress-free as possible.  Once I felt I’d succeeded, I switched off the light and went down the stairs with a fake smile plastered on my face.

My parents were already seated impatiently at the table – both looking a little annoyed that it took me so long to join them. 
Instead of apologizing, I just took my seat silently.  Daddy shot me one quick disapproving look and reached out for my hand to pray.  After that, dinner was fairly uneventful.  My father told us about one of his patients who was experiencing a miraculous recovery after a devastating accident only five weeks ago.  Mom told us about her student’s new pen pals in Asia. 
Of course it would have to be Asia
.  My thoughts immediately shifted back to the attractive boy I’d collided with earlier that day.  His unforgettable smile flashed in my head and I would’ve sworn I could smell his scent heavy in the air.  I don’t think my mother noticed that my eyes widened ever so slightly when she disclosed the location of her student’s new friends. 

A
nxious to get back to my room to see if anyone had called my phone, I passed on dessert. 
One missed call…….
The first thought that crossed my mind was absurd – of course it wasn’t
him.
I scoffed at my own stupidity and decided to put an end to my speculation by just checking the call log. 
Antonio.
  When I saw his name, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach was shockingly reassuring.  They acted as a little reminder of where my true feelings lie, just in case this madness with AJ had clouded my judgment at all.  And at that exact moment, I
needed
to hear from Antonio in order to forget about my new distraction.  I scrolled down to his name and pressed ‘Talk’.  It only rang twice before I heard his deep voice on the other end. 

“Hello?”

              “Hey, it’s me,” I replied.

             
Smiling through the phone, he responded, “Glad you called back so fast.  Just wanted to hear your voice.”

Yep, here come the butterflies again.
 

A smile stretched acr
oss my face.  “What’re you doing?”

             
“Just got done hoopin’ with Terrence and Brian.  What were
you
doing?”

             
“Just finished eating, and before that I was in the attic painting,” I replied.

“Oh,” he said quietly, deep in thought. 
There was a long silence while he worked up to his next question. “Is your dad still cool about us going to the dance together tomorrow?”  He paused for a second.  “Or is he trippin’ now?”

             
I laughed a little.  “He seems to be okay with it.  It didn’t come up at dinner, so I think so.”

Antonio seemed to relax
a little.  “Good ‘cause I thought he might change his mind once the day got closer.  I can’t believe this is the first time he’s let you go with a date!” Antonio replied.

             
“Yeah, for some strange
reason he really seems to like you,” I said jokingly.

             
Antonio laughed.  “So maybe he won’t mind if I stick around awhile.”

I was grinning again and I found myself unable to contain the butterflies.

              “Even if he
did
mind, I wouldn’t let you go,” I assured him.

             
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”  His last statement rang in my ears for a moment as both of us held the phone in silence.  His intensity caught me a little off guard, but I didn’t mind it – I suppose I even welcomed it.  Antonio was smart, handsome, ambitious…….
perfect
.  I couldn’t have picked a better guy if I tried. 

We were off the phone a few minutes later and I took a quick shower before going to bed.  I looked over at the clock and saw that it was only 9:22 – a little early for bed on a Friday night, but I needed to be well-rested for tomorrow
so I didn’t fight it.  My thoughts were more peaceful that night than they had been earlier that day.  More…….
resolute
.  With one phone call Antonio had cured my temporary mental lapse and I was back in touch with reality.  This AJ kid was no one special to me and I don’t even know why I allowed myself to think about him at all.  Despite my questionable behavior earlier, the fog had cleared and I was back on track.  I decided to deliver my original message to Megan tomorrow at the dance.  Case closed. 

*****

Dang….. 4:59 pm already. 
Time had definitely gotten away from me.  In one short hour everyone would be meeting up at my house to wait for the limo that was set to arrive at approximately 6:30.  I snatched my dress from the closet and slung it across the bed next to the shoe box containing my perfectly matched blue heels.  Fumbling a little, I retrieved my new purse from the shopping bag and laid it next to the dress also. 
Perfect. 
I was a little worried that it might be a shade off because I’d forgotten the shoes at home when I left the house in a hurry to get to my hair appointment.  Fortunately, it was an exact match. 

Quickly tying
my hair up in my purple scarf, I threw on a shower cap and hopped in the shower.  The hot water was soothing, so I allowed myself to relax for the first time since I’d gotten up that morning.  Letting myself get so tense about everything made my head hurt.  My thoughts ran rampant and I thought again about Daddy worrying for nothing the whole time I was at the dance; about what Antonio would think of me in my dress. 
Would AJ like it too?
The thought invaded my head suddenly without my permission and this frustrated me tremendously. 
Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him?
I fought the insane notion back to the depths of my mind where it belonged.   It needed to be so far back that it would be surrounded by so many other thoughts that eventually, it would get lost in the chaos.  Picturing the imaginary battle in my head– a battle that I had to convince myself I’d won – I stood still for a minute with my eyes closed. 

Minutes passed before I finally
turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, letting my feet rest on the cool tile floor.  With my hand, I wiped the condensation from the mirror and stared at my own reflection for a few seconds.  I removed the shower cap, setting it down on the counter top, and brushed my teeth again.  After towel drying my skin, I slipped into my bathrobe to do my make-up before putting on my dress.

Finished.
 
I carefully looked over the details of my face making sure that everything was exactly the way I wanted it.  When I was satisfied, I removed my scarf and let my hair fall.  I’d decided to go with a semi up-do.  The top was gathered in a bundle of curls while the back cascaded down just past my shoulder blades.  Just to be extra cautious, I put on my perfume before sliding into my dress.  Next, I put on my shoes and jewelry and then walked over to my full length mirror on the back of my closet door to evaluate the finished product.  I was pleased and imagined that Antonio would be too.  The blue satin dress I’d fallen in love with the moment I laid eyes on it, was a strapless number that hugged my figure to about halfway down my thighs before fanning out down to my ankles, reminiscent of a mermaid.  My chest was a little more exposed than I remembered it being when I first tried the dress on in the store, but it wasn’t budging as I frantically struggled to pull it up.  I could only hope that my father wouldn’t flip out.  He hadn’t seen it yet and my plan was to wait until the day of the dance, so he’d have no choice but to let me wear it.  Mom agreed that this was the best way. 

Glancing
at the mirror one last time, I grabbed my purse from the bed and headed down the stairs.  The doorbell rang before I could reach the bottom step.  Daddy got to the door before I could because it was difficult to maneuver in my dress.  It almost seemed like he was racing me there, which I wouldn’t doubt for one second.  He was probably hoping it would be Antonio so he could pull him aside to threaten him or something before entrusting me to him for the remainder of the evening. 

He got his wish;
it
was
Antonio.  When daddy stepped aside to let him in, I braced myself against the stair rail as I suddenly felt my knees giving way in response to my nervousness.  Antonio looked every bit as handsome as I’d imagined he would.  Reminding myself to breathe, I took in every detail of him as he began to walk toward me. 

             
“You look beautiful,” he said in his low baritone, trying not to let his eyes drift down from my face with my father watching him so closely.

             
“You look good too”, I replied.  He was cautious as he greeted me with only a hug, fully aware of Daddy’s presence behind him.  Over Antonio’s shoulder, my father motioned for me to pull my dress up with an angry scowl fixed on his face.  When Antonio released me from his embrace, I tugged at the dress again, trying to comply with my father’s request.  Antonio was staring at me when I looked up and I could only stand it for a few seconds before I had to turn away.  My head dropped, my eyes focused on my shoes, and I tried to hold my composure.  Being near him made the butterflies even more intense than they were when we spoke over the phone.