Grizzly Flying Home (8 page)

But the chuckles behind him as he made his way to the food told him that he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Ain’t no shame in loving a beautiful woman,” Luke called out.

Chance felt his cheeks heat up, and he looked quickly over at Emily to see if she’d heard. Thankfully, she seemed to be too busy telling her story to be paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Chance loaded up his plate with another steak, and then decided to have a little salad on the side. He wasn’t normally a salad person, but Zach had grilled some onions, and there were fresh slices of tomatoes available. Chance couldn’t turn down a salad with those toppings. He added a few bacon wrapped cream cheese jalapeños to his plate, and then went back to sit by the guys. They had moved on to talking about the latest airplane they were dreaming about buying. The smokejumpers were always drooling over the latest “cool thing” in aviation, and Chance couldn’t blame them. Usually, he joined right in as they discussed their dream aircraft. But tonight, he couldn’t focus. He offered a few half-hearted comments, but he couldn’t tear his thoughts away from Emily.

Finally, as the men started drifting back toward the picnic tables to get dessert, Ian came and sat by Chance.

“So, when are you telling her?” he asked.

“Telling who what?” Chance replied, although he already knew where this was going.

Ian rolled his eyes. “When are you going to tell Emily that you’re madly in love with her? It’s so obvious. And it’s clearly mutual. She can’t keep her eyes off of you, either.”

Chance paused, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully before answering. There was no point in trying to deny how he felt about Emily. But, as a shifter, starting a relationship with a human was a complicated undertaking. Ian should understand that. “I just don’t know how to tell her about me,” Chance said. “I don’t want to tell her I’m a bear and then find out she wasn’t really interested in me, anyway. But I don’t want to start a relationship and then tell her after she’s already in love with me that, oh, by the way, I’m a grizzly. I don’t know, man. It’s hard. There’s no right answer. There’s no good time to tell her.”

Ian looked over at Chance, his face serious. “Well, it’s true that there’s no good time. It’s always a shock to humans, no matter when they find out. But there is a right answer. And the right answer is to tell her now. Before she really falls for you. Trust me, I know from personal experience that the longer you hide your bear side, the harder it is to explain and the angrier she will be when she finds out. Women don’t like to find out you’ve been keeping something from them.”

“I know. But…it’s still complicated.”

“Love always is,” Ian said, standing up and brushing a few stray leaves from his pants. “But when you find the right one, it’s worth it.”

Ian walked toward the grill, where Zach was now grilling fruit for dessert. The aroma of peaches, pears, and pineapple filled the air. On the table, Riley was setting out several pies, along with another serving of strawberry shortcake. Chance felt his mouth watering as he noticed a big plate of brownies and a chocolate cake being added to the spread. He was going to miss these barbecues, although he definitely felt like he’d put on a few pounds since moving here. He didn’t work off as much of the food as the smokejumpers did. They were constantly working out so they could handle moving through the forest with hundreds of pounds of gear on their backs.

“Get your butt over here, Chance,” Trevor yelled. Chance glanced over to see Trevor waving him toward the cake. Chance stood up and walked over to see that the cake had “Happy Trails, Chance and Emily” written on it in large, flowery script. Chance’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of his name right next to Emily’s. He knew nothing was meant by it, but he still liked the way their names looked together.

“Aw, you guys didn’t have to get us a cake,” Emily was saying, her eyes peering excitedly down at the treat. Chance loved the way her face lit up when someone did something nice for her. She had spent so long being crushed under the weight of an abusive relationship that she had forgotten what it was like to have people in her life who actually cared about her and treated her like she was important.

“We wanted to,” River said, starting to light some candles that had been placed in the cake.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, River,” Chance said. “You’re lighting candles? It’s not my birthday. I bet those are trick candles, too.”

River didn’t answer, but she shot Chance a grin that told him his suspicion was likely correct.

The group gathered around and sang a song that sounded something like “Happy Trails,” but, of course, had its own ridiculous spin on it. At the end of their singing, everyone started cheering for Chance and Emily to blow out the candles. Emily enthusiastically started blowing, but Chance was more reticent. As he had suspected, the candles were trick candles, and nearly impossible to blow out. River laughed triumphantly even though Chance had guessed the trick beforehand. Despite his show of annoyance, though, Chance couldn’t keep a grin off of his face. He loved the silly ideas the girls here came up with. One more thing he was going to miss once he was back in Alaska.

When the candles were finally extinguished and everyone had loaded desserts onto their plates, Chance found himself finally getting a chance to sit next to Emily.

“Hey, you,” he said softly, trying to hide the husky note in his voice but knowing it was useless. “Having a good time?”

Emily nodded as she took a big bite of a grilled pineapple. “Fantastic time,” she said around her mouthful of fruit. “I almost can’t believe I’m leaving this place.”

Chance smiled. “I know what you mean,” he said. “But don’t worry. Alaska will be filled with plenty of good people and fun times, too.”

Emily answered him by grinning and popping another huge bite of grilled pineapple into her mouth. The sun had set, but the moon was full tonight and the cloudless sky glittered brightly with thousands of stars. Chance took in Emily’s beautiful face as the soft glow of moonlight illuminated it, and he briefly considered kissing her. She looked so beautiful, sitting there with a smile on her face and her eyes dancing from the excitement of the night. From the heated way she kept looking at him, he was pretty sure she would have let him do it, too. But he held back, as Ian’s warnings danced in his head. He knew Ian was right. It was better to wait until he had explained shifting to Emily before jumping in to steal her heart away. He didn’t want her to feel like he had kept anything from her before asking her to fall in love with him.

Still, he couldn’t keep himself from lowering his voice once more and looking at her with a burning gaze as he said, “You look so beautiful under this starry sky. I can’t wait to see you under an Alaskan night sky.”

Even in the low light, Chance could see Emily blush. He smiled at her, then forced himself to get up and walk away before he did something really rash and stupid. He’d already had his fill of dessert, but he pretended that he wanted to get another round of chocolate cake and pie just so he had an excuse to leave.

He was going to run out of excuses pretty soon. He could only hope that when Emily found out who he really was, she would still look at him the way she just had.

Because, damn it, the hunger he saw in her eyes made him hungry, too. He wanted nothing more than to satisfy that craving for her for the rest of her life.

Emily chewed her fingernail nervously as the airline shuttle pulled to a stop in front of the hotel that Chase had booked for them in Anchorage, Alaska. She couldn’t believe that she was actually here, in her new home state. So far, she hadn’t seen much. Just the little bit she could see from the window of the plane, and the view on the short ride from the airport to the hotel. But she could already tell that this place was magnificent. The white, snow-capped mountains had instantly won her heart, and the soft whites and blues of the snow-covered landscape would be a fun challenge to photograph. From her barebones initial assessment, she was pretty damn happy with her choice to take a leap of faith and move north.

But what she wasn’t happy with was the nervous feeling in her stomach every time Chance came within two feet of her. And, since he was her traveling companion, he was often standing or sitting close to her. The plane ride over had been alternatively wonderful and torturous. She loved the thrill of being in seat 18A while he sat inches away from her in 18B. But she didn’t love the constant flip-flopping in her stomach that came from wondering whether he was ever going to admit that there was a growing spark of passion between them. He often looked at her with such heat in his eyes that she was sure he was about to kiss her. But then he would look away.

Honestly, Emily wasn’t sure whether she should be happy or pissed off that he wasn’t making a move. Sure, she was desperately attracted to him. But was she really ready for another relationship? Weren’t there rules or something about how long you were supposed to wait and let your heart heal between relationships—especially a relationship that had ended in a spectacularly awful way like the one between Scott and her had?

Emily sighed and chewed her bottom lip even harder as she watched Chance reaching into the shuttle to pull their suitcases out and load them on a luggage cart. His tall, muscular body handled the large bags with ease, and Emily wondered what it would feel like to lie in bed with those strong arms around her. Rules be damned, she wanted to take things with Chance to the next level. But he seemed determined to hold back for some reason.

Emily smiled as Chance wheeled the luggage cart in her direction. She tried to keep a calm expression on her face, despite the fact that her stomach started flip-flopping once again as he walked closer to her.

“Ready?” he asked. She nodded, and then followed him into the hotel. She held back in the lobby while he got their room keys from the front desk. She’d thought of telling him that they didn’t need separate rooms. After all, if they just got one room with two beds it would be much cheaper. But Emily couldn’t quite figure out how to word the suggestion without sounding like she was suggesting something more, so she’d simply nodded a few days ago when he said he’d reserved two rooms in a hotel near the airport. The plan was to stay here tonight, and then in the morning one of Chance’s buddies who was also a pilot would fly in on a small aircraft owned by the tour company Chance used to work for. Emily would be conveniently dropped off in Kodiak, Alaska—her new home—and Chance would continue on to Frost Peak.

A few minutes later, Chance returned with their keys and a big grin on his face.

“I got a recommendation for a good dinner place,” he said. “Do you like seafood?”

“I love seafood,” Emily replied.

“Good, because you’ll be eating a lot of it in Alaska,” Chance said with a wink. They boarded the elevator to their second floor rooms, and found themselves crowded into a small space that forced them to stand mere inches from each other. Emily could hear her heart pounding in her ears, and she prayed that Chance couldn’t tell how much he was affecting her just by being close to her. She forced herself to stare straight ahead at the elevator buttons, not daring to look over at Chance and give away her feelings. The elevator was slow, creaking its way toward the second floor at its own leisurely pace. Every second of standing next to Chance was the most delicious kind of torture. Emily was going to miss the way he made her lose track of everything except the sound of his breathing.

When they finally made it to the second floor, Chance led them to two rooms right next to each other. He handed Emily her key and then glanced at his watch.

“It’s six-thirty right now,” he said. “Do you want to plan to meet outside the rooms in an hour to head to dinner? Does that give you enough time to unwind and get ready?”

“Yup, sounds good,” Emily said. She thought her voice sounded oddly high-pitched and squeaky, but Chance didn’t seem to notice. He just grinned at her and then motioned to the door.

“Open the door and I’ll get your suitcases into your room for you,” he said.

Emily quickly unlocked and opened the door, trying to keep her hands from shaking as she maneuvered the keycard. What was wrong with her? She’d been around Chance a lot over the last week, and he’d never affected her this strongly. Sure, he’d made her heart beat faster and she’d been filled with desire every time she looked at him. But she hadn’t been unable to speak properly or hold something without her hand shaking. This was ridiculous. Emily chalked it up to travel nerves, and breathed a sigh of relief when Chance left to go to his own room. She sat down on the bed and flopped backwards, staring at the ceiling for several moments to catch her breath and calm her nerves.

Then, she couldn’t help but smile at the realization that she was going to have the chance to eat dinner with Chance. She hadn’t been sure whether he would want to just crash for the night, and she had already been dreading going out to find food on her own. Plus, the chance to spend one more night hanging out with Chance before they parted ways made her heart happy. He’d promised that they would stay in touch, but Emily knew from experience that once someone was in a different city, they often forgot about you. All of her old friends in San Francisco had moved on with their lives after she relocated to Red Valley, and she had a feeling that Chance was going to move on with his life once he was back in Frost Peak.

Chance continued to be vague about Frost Peak. He didn’t seem willing to talk about his hometown, although Emily could tell he had a deep love for it. The tour books on Alaska that she’d bought didn’t mention the place, and a Google search didn’t turn up many results. The only information she could find was that the town was known for being the home base of Frost Peak Tours, which was widely regarded as one of the best aerial tour companies in Alaska.

Emily had broached the subject of possibly moving to Frost Peak. It seemed to make sense to her, because Chance had often raved about how beautiful the nature scenery was near his home. Emily had thought she could start out by taking pictures there, and at least she would know Chance so she wouldn’t be totally without friends.

But Chance had been obviously uncomfortable with the idea. He’d told her that Frost Peak wasn’t a good place to get started out in Alaska. He’d said the words firmly, and hadn’t expounded on his statement. Emily felt confused and hurt afterwards. Was he embarrassed to have her around his old friends? Was he really just acting nice to her because it was the decent thing to do, when all along he couldn’t wait to get rid of her? Maybe he was tired of being her shoulder to lean on when she was feeling doubtful and worried about whether moving here was the right decision, or about whether she would ever be able to sell any of her photographs.

Emily frowned, then sat up and looked around her small hotel room. She had to stop sitting here and worrying about all of these things that she couldn’t control. All she was doing was getting herself worked up over things that might not even be true, and that she couldn’t change even if they were true. All she knew for sure right now was that she had a chance to enjoy one last night out with Chance. She needed to get ready for dinner and focus on having a good time tonight. There would be plenty of time later to ruminate over Chance’s motives and reasons for telling her not to move to Frost Peak.

Emily stood up and opened one of her suitcases, rummaging around until she found a fresh pair of jeans and her favorite hoodie. She smiled as she looked over the two suitcases and her duffel bag, feeling proud that she had managed to whittle down all of her belongings into these few bags. It felt good to have a completely fresh start. She didn’t even know where her permanent home in Kodiak would be yet. She had reserved a room at an extended stay motel for the first week, and planned to keep renewing the reservation each week until she found something permanent. Chance didn’t think it would take that long to find an apartment.

Emily changed quickly and then freshened up her makeup. She was ready long before the hour Chance had given her was up, so she picked up the novel she’d been reading to keep her mind occupied until it was time to go. She soon lost herself in the pages of the book, and was startled thirty minutes later by a knock on the door.

“Em? You almost ready to go?” Chance’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door.

Emily sat up with a start and looked at the clock, realizing that it was ten minutes past when she was supposed to meet Chance outside the rooms. She hopped up and grabbed her purse, running toward the door and throwing it open. With red cheeks, she started blurting out a flustered apology.

“Sorry, I was reading and completely lost track of time,” she started to say, then stopped in her tracks. Chance was standing in the doorway looking as handsome as ever in the dark wash jeans and gray pullover sweater he had changed into—and he was also holding a small bouquet of pink flowers tied together with a bit of rope twine.

“What’s this?” Emily asked.

“Fireweed,” Chance said, handing the flowers to her. “I went for a walk and found some growing not far from the hotel. They usually don’t bloom quite this late, but it’s been unseasonably warm this year. It’s one of Alaska’s most well-known flowers, and if you’re going to be taking nature photographs I’m sure you’ll take pictures of some of these beauties at some point. I thought you might like to see them. Welcome to Alaska.”

Emily took the flowers and looked at them closely. The delicate pink petals and long reddish stems made a beautiful combination. Each stem was adorned with several of the small flowers. Emily looked up at Chance and smiled.

“Thanks. This is awesome. I’m really touched that you thought of me.”

Chance smiled and shrugged, clearly pleased with her reaction. “I’m glad you like them. Maybe you should put them in water so they don’t dry out while we’re at dinner?”

Emily nodded, furrowing her brow as she tried to think of what she could use as a vase. “The ice bucket might work, huh?” she said. Chance nodded, but Emily didn’t see. She was already heading back into her room to find the ice bucket and fill it with water for the flowers. She put the blooms in the water, but stopped just before leaving to go back out to the hallway. She grabbed one of the stems of blooms, and opened up the novel she had been reading to about the halfway point. Then she placed the bloom carefully between the pages and closed the book.

No matter what happened between Chance and her now, and no matter how quickly they lost touch, she would always have a memory of the man who had helped her learn how to live again. That wildflower would dry out and forever be there to remind her that she was beautiful and deserved to be treated that way.

Emily bounded out of the hotel room and flashed Chance a huge smile.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” she said, and followed him to the slow, creaky elevator. She was determined to at least enjoy dinner, since nothing beyond tonight was certain.