Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (69 page)

Her phone had several texts from Vanni, who was
still in the protective bubble in New York. He wasn’t flying home
until today. A lot of good their covert travel plans had
accomplished. They fooled no one, but he had no way of
knowing.

Instead his texts were loving, flirty and sexy.
He wanted her to come to the beach house and stay for the weekend,
to keep their pseudo-honeymoon going. He had no idea how impossible
his life would be when he returned to Los Angeles, where the
paparazzi waited to splash the intimate details of his life all
over the covers of magazines, on TV and on the Internet.

She didn’t want to have this conversation over
the phone but she couldn’t see how it was possible to wait until he
got back to L.A. So she called him as he was packing and preparing
to come back home to her.

“Hey, baby,” he said in that softened bedroom
voice of his. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength – a trait
that was always sorely lacking when it came to her resolve to stay
away from Vanni.

“There are some problems,” she stated
cryptically.

Immediately he knew something was seriously
wrong. “Such as?”

She sighed. “We’ve been busted,” she said.
“PING knows everything. They’ve printed it far and wide. They
pounced me as soon as I got off the plane last night. No doubt
they’ve surrounded your house and are waiting for you
too.”

He was quiet for a moment. Finally he asked,
“And who else knows?”

She gulped. “Everyone.”

“I see,” he said. “And how is he taking
it?”

Again her heart was torn. She knew after their
weekend together Vanni would want her to stand up for their
relationship with Graham, but it was impossible to do with the
condition he was in. “I’ve moved back to the house,
Vanni.”

It took him a minute to respond, and when he
did his voice was low and angry. “What?”

“He’s not in good shape,” she went on, and
hoped to finally convince him what she was doing was the right
thing. “He’s really sick.”

“I’ll just bet,” Vanni sneered but she shook
her head even though he couldn’t see her do it.

“No, Vanni. It was bad. You don’t
understand.”

“You’re right,” he agreed instantly. “I don’t.
How can you go from spending this last incredible week with me to
moving into another man’s house?”

She swallowed the rock in her throat. “Because
it’s the right thing to do,” she whispered.

“I thought loving me was the right thing,” he
said softly.

“You know I love
you, Vanni. I always have. I always will.” ‘
Forever
’ rang in her ears, but she
didn’t dare say it.

“But you love him more,” he filled in the
blank.

“No,” she was quick to clarify. “He just… he
just needs me more.”

“You can’t possibly know how much I need you,”
he said softly. “Goodbye, Andy.”

And with that he was gone without a fight. That
scared Andy most of all. She wanted to call him back but she knew
it was pointless. They had reached the same old impasse with
neither willing to give on their position.

She couldn’t hurt Graham and he couldn’t bear
to wait. Inevitably they would be drawn back to each other, and God
only knew what kind of consequences they’d face in the
future.

For now this was how things had to be. She
brushed away her tears and went back to Graham.

Chapter Eighteen

October 24, 2010. New York.

Vanni

Vanni sat staring at the wall for hours after
he hung up with Andy. He had such high hopes the day would end
another way, with her in his arms in their home at last. But they
were back to square one again, with Andy living with and loving
another man.

After their time together in New York the pain
of losing her again crushed his heart. He could barely breathe
every time he thought of her. When his eyes closed he could clearly
see her next to him, surrounding him, touching him, loving him. He
could almost feel her still in his arms like an erotic
phantom.

His eyes kept straying over to the minibar in
the hotel suite. Just one drink, he thought. Something, anything,
to numb the pain. He could almost feel the burn of straight whiskey
pouring down the back of his throat, just enough to feel that sweet
buzz that made blurred everything as he soared high above all his
problems and disappointments.

As the time for his departure came and went
Vanni finally went over to the bar and pulled out one of the tiny
bottles. He walked back over to the table and put it down next to
his phone. He had two choices. He could call Andy and he could tell
her that no matter what, they could be together. Graham would pull
through, the old bastard always did. His being under the weather
was no real reason for them to be apart. Graham wasn’t
unreasonable, after all. He’d never pulled the crazy, power hungry
things that Jasper did. He’d get over his broken heart and they
could get back to the way things used to be.

But the more he thought about it the more he
knew it would never go back to the way things used to be. Too much
had happened. He’d have to find another record label, which was
what Leo and Julian had recommended anyway.

Then there was Andy, who had gone from being a
regular girl to being a target for the paparazzi at best, homicidal
maniacs at worst. The Wilke brother was already out for his hide,
what if he took it out on Andy? What if, like with Talia, just
being with him made her a target for some other crazed
lunatic?

He’d already proven that he was unable to
protect her.

Though it hurt her for her to be with Graham,
he knew ultimately she was safe. And wasn’t it time he grew up
enough to let her go for her own sake?

Continually holding onto her because of his
selfish desires hadn’t gotten either of them anywhere. They had
hurt each other for years, but 2010 had become a banner year for
how their short-sighted behavior threatened others.

He picked up the bottle and held it in his
hands. He could almost taste the amber liquid. He wanted to drink
it so badly his hands shook, and that was something he’d so far
managed to overcome in the last couple of months of
sobriety.

With great effort he put the bottle back on the
table. This time he reached for the phone but he didn’t call Andy.
He called someone else, someone who had been there for him since
they first met.

She’d know how to get him through.

Holly wore that familiar smile on her face when
she showed up at his hotel suite. She didn’t say much as she took
him into her arms for a comforting hug once they shut the door
behind her.

“I heard,” she said. “I’m sorry,
Vanni.”

“For what?” he said as he pulled away and went
toward the living area of the suite. “It’s not like you ratted us
out to PING.”

“Of course not,” she said as she perched on the
sofa. “I’m just so sorry everything is hitting you all at once. You
finally get things sorted out only to have it all blow up
again.”

He just shrugged as he rubbed his eyes with
both hands. “It’s my own stupid fault,” he said. “Go after what you
want, full speed ahead, damn the consequences. Story of my
life.”

She scooted over to where he sat. “Don’t beat
yourself up. It’s not your fault you were lied to.”

His eyes met hers. “What do you mean?” She
shrugged, reluctant to say anything, so he probed more. “Who lied
to me?”

“Andy,” she finally said.

He shook his head. “No. Andy would never lie to
me. In fact she’s been bitterly honest about everything right down
the line. I just haven’t always wanted to believe her. I thought
that if I just could get her back she’d see that we are supposed to
be together. And in the end she’d choose me.”

Holly stroked his arm. “Andy loves Graham,” she
said softly. “It’s really kind of evident to everyone. We all knew
she’d choose him in the end. I’m just sorry you had to find out
this way.”

“Find out what?” he questioned.

She shrugged again. “That she’s a user. I mean,
isn’t this her M.O. throughout your career? Didn’t she always want
to be the one on your arm for the world to see while you were
riding high? That’s so typical for girls with no self-esteem, and I
mean look at her. It’s not like there’s a whole wide world beating
down her door. Now that things are tough she’s going to go to the
one who can give her everything she wants. The big career, the big
house… the big bank account. She’s validated all over again by the
man she’s with and now she’s landed one who literally can’t run
away. It’s really rather scandalous when you think about
it.”

Vanni rose to his feet. “You don’t know her,”
he said.

Holly stood up and turned him to face her. “No,
hon. I’m the one who doesn’t see her with through rose colored
glasses. You want her to be something she’s just not. The sooner
you let that go, the better off you’ll be.”

He turned away from her and went over to the
table where the bottle of liquor still sat. He picked it up as he
tried to rid his brain of Holly’s scathing character analysis of
the woman he loved. She couldn’t be right. That would make all the
years they shared a big lie, and the woman he loved nothing but an
empty façade. Though Vanni didn’t want to admit it, the evidence
was clear: even after their amazing week together she had gone back
to Graham. She always, always went back go Graham.

That made Holly’s truth more plausible than the
one he had been clinging to for years.

He gripped the bottle so hard it left imprints
inside of his hand. No matter which scenario was true it hurt more
than he could bear. What he’d give for just one moment of
numbness.

“She’s certainly not worth that,” Holly advised
when she saw what he was holding. “How much are you going to let
her ruin your life? Especially now when you have the best
opportunity to pull it back together.”

He glanced back at her. “What do you
mean?”

She walked over to the table and took the
bottle from his hands. “I talked to Julian. Leo knows some folks
here in New York. You can finish the album here and never even
bother with L.A. again. It’s not like you get to see Graham anyway.
Manage it all through teleconferencing and video chat. Then, in a
few months when your contract is up, Leo can hook you up with an
East Coast label.”

“The only east coast label on par with Graham
is Jasper Carrington. And I’m not going down that road
again.”

“Then develop your own label,” she said.
“You’re not some unwashed bar band from Brooklyn anymore. You’re
Giovanni Carnevale, international superstar. There’s nothing Graham
Baxter or Jasper Carrington can do for you that you can’t do for
yourself. Think about it. You could be in total control of your
career and of your life.”

He nodded. He did like the sound of
that.

She grabbed his hand and flashed her
effervescent smile. “Then let’s stay here. I’ve always liked New
York better than Los Angeles anyway.”

He didn’t immediately say yes but he gave the
matter serious consideration after she left the hotel that night.
What was in Los Angeles to go home to? A house that reminded him of
a life he couldn’t have with Andy? A crazed, angry man who wanted
to see him pay in blood for nearly killing an underage prostitute,
not to mention the legal ramifications of what he had
done?

He could spin the move to New York to his
advantage as an effort to make peace with his father. No one would
ever have to know what a sniveling coward he was.

The next day he called Leo and told him to
arrange everything for relocation to New York. He didn’t bother
talking to Yael or Felix directly, who both thrived under the move
to the west coast. He didn’t want to have to admit to those
brothers who knew him best he was dodging every uncomfortable
situation that awaited him in Los Angeles, because he knew both men
would call him on it.

He wasn’t that surprised when Felix opted to
stay in his home state rather than move back to New York City,
which was why he hadn’t bothered calling him personally. He had no
real incentive to encourage him to stay with the band anymore
because it wasn’t Dreaming in Blue anymore. It was Dreaming in Blue
Featuring Giovanni Carnevale.

Yael was a bit more invested with the new
creative direction of the band. He was never all that hip on the
sappy love songs that had made them all superstars. He wanted the
challenge of redefining rock and metal for a new generation. He
felt he could do that with Julian.

Plus he loved New
York. L.A. was tired and phony. Deep down he was glad Vanni decided
to relocate. This was the 21
^st
century, technology opened up
the world. There were no borders anymore to anyone who had access
to the Internet.

Yael didn’t know yet that Vanni planned to dump
Graham’s label as soon as the contract came due. The idea of
forming his own record label appealed to him greatly, but he was
fairly certain that Yael wouldn’t cotton to the changes in
hierarchy. DIB was his baby, always had been. It was already a
tough sell that Vanni was the star and he simply
supported.