Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (70 page)

He would likely want to stay with Graham and,
knowing Graham, he’d do everything he could to win him over for a
solo contract just to fuck him over.

The way he saw Graham, this was a man who
wasn’t fully satisfied until he got what Vanni needed or
wanted.

So he played things close to the vest over that
following week when he set up things in New York. He found a place
in the same building in Manhattan as his father, only his penthouse
digs came with stunning views of the city. Best of all there was
Fort Knox security on the main floor. Because of this he also
rented a place for Julian and Holly, who didn’t have the kind of
money he had to set up a secure residence.

With PING’s fascination with Holly as his main
squeeze he wanted to protect her from being hounded every time she
wanted to leave the building. Since it was his star power that was
drawing attention, it just made sense he did what he could to
protect her. Rent seemed like a small price to pay.

Plus it was nice to have her nearby. She was
the reason he didn’t drink every time he thought of Andy. Every
time he had the urge he called her and she was on his doorstep
within minutes. She baked him cookies, made him dinner, played
Rummy until the wee hours of the morning, and then would make sure
he would be up and in the car the next day on the way to the
studio.

After a couple of weeks she practically lived
at his place, making use of his spare bedroom. She was his key to
sobriety and sanity. He even let her manage his business with
Graham, which was done mostly through Andy. He had decided it was
not fair to Andy to pressure her about her decision. The die was
cast and these were the lives they had chosen to live separately
for whatever reason.

He focused on the music and trusted Holly knew
what he needed and wanted from Graham’s label as he finished the
last CD he’d ever record with them. She gave nothing away as she
managed everything, jumping from meager errand girl to valuable
assistant as the days rushed by in a New York blur.

By Thanksgiving there was no question that she
lived with him, albeit in separate bedrooms. She convinced him to
host a holiday dinner that included contacts within the industry
because this kind of networking would help him launch his own label
when the time came. They invited the band and his father, while Leo
filled the penthouse full of powerful people that were extremely
interested in what Vanni would do as his contact came to an end
with Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation.

Even with Angelo and Vanni present, champagne
and liquor flowed around them, lubricating the cogs of the
networking machine nicely.

Iris made an appearance but wasn’t too keen on
how effortlessly Holly had wedged herself into the Andy-shaped hole
in Vanni’s life. She might have said something about that to him
but he was way beyond hearing. He treated Holly as though she was a
valued assistant, and he had grown beyond what Iris could offer
him.

When she left that evening she didn’t even say
goodbye. It was simply over.

Angelo made an early evening of it as well,
feeling ill at ease with the type of party it was turning into.
Holly swore as she walked him back down to his place that she’d
keep an eye on Vanni so he wouldn’t backslide. They had come too
far for him to lose his way now. She stayed with him and chatted
about the future while the party raged on upstairs.

The festivities further demonstrated to Vanni
he could move on past Graham and ultimately past Andy when the time
came. Leo was in unusually high spirits as he wined and dined all
the big wigs, and despite Vanni’s initial protest he finally talked
Vanni into taking a drink to toast to their success. “It’s just one
drink,” Leo urged.

The minute the liquid bubbled down his throat
Vanni knew he was in trouble, though Leo slapped him soundly on the
back and congratulated him on a job well done. He was well on his
way to finally breaking free from Graham Baxter and all the
complications that implied. It was the most practical move for all
of them.

Yet once again Vanni couldn’t help but notice
he teetered at the precipice of success without the one person at
his side that would have made it complete. Even Holly was M.I.A. as
the party continued on in high gear, a hollow celebration that left
Vanni feeling just as empty.

By the time Holly returned from walking his
father home he was on his third drink, courtesy of his intoxicated
manager.

After Leo had left and Holly disappeared into
the kitchen to clean up after the guests, Vanni took a bottle of
champagne from the table and retreated to his bedroom. He stared at
the lights of the city and wondered what Andy was doing right that
moment. Was she serving turkey as lady of the house with Graham?
Did she think about the future they had denied themselves? Did she
smile through everything that only proved a lackluster replacement
for what she really wanted, just like he did? Had she even spared
him a thought at all?

He guzzled the bottle as he tried to fend off
the melancholy that always attacked him when he thought about her
or their star-crossed love affair. Once the bottle was empty he
felt the initial buzz but it wasn’t enough to blanket the pain like
he hoped. He slipped back out into the living room where the bar
was still completely set up for the guests who had long
gone.

He didn’t even care what bottle he grabbed.
Just a few hours ago his house had been full of people who were
laughing and talking and happy to be included in his world. Why
should it matter that one person was missing? Especially one person
who had chosen not to be there?

Maybe Holly was right. Maybe she had used him
to validate herself, and he just couldn’t do that for her like
Graham could.

He started on bottle number three as he thought
about the petite brunette in his kitchen. She had done everything
to prove she was in this thing for the long haul. She advised him,
she comforted him; she gave him a home when he wasn’t really sure
he deserved one. And she’d never asked for anything in return. Not
once. Not even a kiss, a kind word or a thank you.

He had spent weeks mooning over the one who
left him in the taillights while ignoring the one who cheerfully
piloted his course.

He stumbled into the kitchen to rectify that
grievous error. Her eyes widened when she saw what state he was in.
“Vanni,” she called to him as she ran over to where he leaned
heavily against the counter.

“I owe you an apology,” he slurred. “I was in
there thinking about everything I don’t have and it hit me… you
have always given me everything without any complaint or condition.
I’m sorry for being too selfish to notice.”

He staggered a little bit and she did her best
to hold him up. “You don’t have to thank me, Vanni,” she said
softly. “I wanted to do it.”

He couldn’t figure it out. How can anyone want
to do so much and get nothing in return? Or want nothing in return?
She truly was a unique individual, especially in his world. “But
why?”

She touched his face. “You mean you honestly
don’t know?” she whispered. She leaned forward and kissed him
softly on his parted lips. “I am in love with you.”

They were words he had longed to hear for
weeks. He just never expected she’d be the one to say them. In his
muddled mind he realized that she alone had earned the right to say
them. He stared into those bottomless blue eyes and saw something
he hadn’t seen in a really long time. It was that hopeful hero
worship where he could do no wrong. There was nothing complicated
about it. All she wanted was to love him; she didn’t even ask to be
loved back. He grabbed her tiny body against his and tried to fit
it where he had been so achingly empty. When she reached up for him
he kissed her hard. He had needed something he couldn’t name and –
as usual – she was willing to offer it without question.

Though she had always made it plain she didn’t
get involved with musicians, she responded to his kiss with
unexpected passion. This was clearly something she had wanted for a
long, long time. She fit in his arms like a doll as he lifted her
up against the counter. The dirty dishes were forgotten as she
clasped both legs around his waist, bringing him closer to her
under her short plaid skirt. It was as though she had waited so
long for him to make a move that she couldn’t get close enough,
quick enough. She needed him and he suddenly needed to be
needed.

She unbuttoned his shirt and slid it from his
strong shoulders as he slipped her black turtleneck sweater over
her head. She released the front hook of her bra and then pressed
her tight body up against his.

Other words followed but all he could hear was
her declaration of love. She was in love with him. Someone loved
him. All other words felt like they were uttered under water as his
consciousness rocketed off into the stratosphere. Was it the
alcohol? Was it her kiss? Suddenly he was high and kept getting
higher. His whole consciousness was in a fog where he could barely
think beyond the willing woman at the tips of his fingers. His body
sprung to life in ways it never had before. He didn’t just want
her, he needed her. He was so hard it was almost painful. Though he
staggered from his intoxication, he carried her rather effortlessly
toward the bedroom where they both toppled onto the bed. His high
continued to soar as he got lost in her sweet mouth, feeling her
delicate hands guide him exactly where he wanted to go.

Only it wasn’t where he wanted to go, it was
where he was allowed to go. Every time he closed his eyes he saw
Andy’s face. Though he felt Holly’s tiny little body around him,
his arms imagined the curves he had grown to worship over the
years. It was so shitty of him but in that moment he understood
with fevered and intoxicated logic what divided Andy between two
completely different men.

He loved Andy but he owed Holly.

Holly had shown nothing but kindness. He owed
her loyalty for being the one who chose him.

He only hoped he didn’t utter the wrong name as
he rode her hard in a drunken stupor. When Holly begged him to come
he released himself at last, hoping everyone – including Andy –
would forgive him for being so weak.

Chapter Nineteen

November, 2010. Los Angeles.

Graham

In the ten days that followed Andy’s moving
back into the house, Graham made a steady, if slow, recovery. Andy
threw all her energy into getting him back to where he was, and
Maggie rewarded her loyalty and hard work by melting the icy
exterior that had taken the place of their initial friendship.
Together they worked tirelessly to get Graham back to his physical
therapy so that by mid-November both ladies almost needed a doctor
themselves. Everyone was fatigued and drained from their efforts
day after day.

But the fruits of their labor included Graham’s
progress in making independent steps. He still hadn’t told Andy
what he had been able to do. He made Maggie swear on her life she’d
keep his secret until he was ready, which in his mind was walking
toward her Christmas day. Though he didn’t breathe a word of it to
anyone, he imagined that scenario ending with him on bended knee,
and had already purchased a ring just in case.

Though they had buried the ugly New York
instance and never discussed it, Graham had to believe that her
returning to him afterwards was as sure a sign as any her
commitment was permanent. This was especially true now that Vanni
had moved to New York and wouldn’t be around to tempt her
anymore.

It was as though their public misstep had
forced them to make their choices accordingly. She chose Graham and
he had moved to New York with Holly.

Maybe Andy finally realized he would never
choose her in any way that counted. She was his dirty little
secret, and she finally decided she needed more than
that.

It was a future Graham was more than willing to
give her.

So he waited patiently as she worked through
all her emotions. She was understandably put off by his using Holly
as a buffer; much like Vanni had been when Graham had used her. But
she turned all that anger into determination to get Graham walking
again, so he met her efforts with equal determination.

He worried about her health as the weeks went
on. She looked pale and sickly and didn’t really want to eat when
Maggie would try to get her to keep her strength up. She told them
it was the flu; she’d surely get over it by
Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, Graham thought. Time was flying
by fast if he wanted to make his goal a reality. He decided to play
the holiday low key, which was fine by both Maggie and Andy. Maggie
had given up making spectacles out of the holidays when Mitchell
died. She preferred to stay to herself and read or reminisce
without any societal pressure to interact with a bunch of
strangers. Andy thought about going home to Nashville to see her
grandmother but after the last trip, and the lies she told about
it, she figured she’d just stay in Los Angeles. Her grandmother was
booked solid with her church hosting a holiday meal for the
homeless; it wasn’t as though her presence was required.

Instead they purchased a small turkey to share
between them. All three of them would provide a holiday staple from
their youth, which meant they prepared the meal together in the
vast white kitchen. Even with Graham in his wheelchair he did
amazingly well preparing a sweet potato casserole with brandied
nuts and cranberries. Andy provided a southern dressing and Maggie
made the pies.