Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (74 page)

Andy thought herself sick on the whole debacle.
She passed on dinner and instead lay in her own bedroom with a cold
compress on her head trying to quell the pounding inside her
frazzled brain.

Graham wanted to go to her but decided to give
her some space. He could only imagine how difficult this was for
Andy, to learn that Vanni had rebounded so quickly and with one of
her friends at that. Now there was a baby on the way, the one thing
Andy had coveted most.

He only prayed he could provide a family of her
own to her someday. Though their times together had been few, he
already knew she hadn’t bothered with birth control. They were
warned fertility issues were common with his condition, and frankly
he got the sense that she just didn’t care.

She seemed perfectly willing to go where the
winds of change deemed determined to take her. She didn’t fight
fate. She didn’t want to control the future. She submitted wholly
to the will of the universe.

He didn’t expect her to join him that night but
she did anyway. Their lovemaking was slow, determined and
successful. After he came inside her he whispered, “I want to give
you a baby, Andy,” against her ear.

It was the first time they had ever talked
about any kind of future commitment together, and parenting a child
certainly was one of the most powerful bonds two people could
share.

His comment was so sincere it released the
floodgates on the heartache she’d been carrying for weeks on end.
She sobbed in his arms until there was nothing left. Here was a
wonderful man who loved her, truly loved her, and was ready to
offer her the world. She could no longer afford to cry over the man
who could never commit to her in any real sense beyond the bedroom.
She had her own life to live.

When the wedding invitation arrived the next
day, Andy accepted.

It was time to sever her bond with Vanni once
and for all.

Chapter Twenty-Two

December, 2010. New York.

Vanni

In the days following the confirmation of
Holly’s pregnancy, Vanni was faced with some logistical decisions
on how to provide for the baby and take care of Holly. He had gone
to a lawyer to set up a trust fund for the baby but was told by the
attorney as a single mother Holly would hold a lot of leverage
against him in regards to child support and custody.

He wasn’t necessarily worried about her
bleeding him dry. Everything he had he was willing to give to his
child. What scared him more was that she could leave him at any
point and take his child with her.

He didn’t care for those odds, especially not
with his track record of being abandoned by those he loved
most.

So he was the one who suggested marriage first.
In fact once she called and told him the test was positive and the
due date they could expect their child, nothing else seemed to be
as overwhelming. Getting married to the mother of his child simply
made sense, especially since they virtually lived as husband and
wife (without the sex) as it was.

It wasn’t like he’d ever allow himself to fall
in love again like he did with Andy. So there was really no reason
to hold out for a better offer. Holly was kind and sweet and
nurturing. It would be a good life, even if it wasn’t really the
life he had pictured for himself.

She had hesitated, knowing how strongly he
still felt for Andy. She told him she didn’t want to be a
replacement for someone else, particularly someone who had moved on
without him. She loved him and had chosen him above all others, and
didn’t want to settle for anything other than his doing the same.
That first discussion of marriage actually ended in their first
real fight. She screamed at him that he was a fool for chasing
after Andy’s memory when she had moved on to the bigger better
deal.

She couldn’t even be bothered to do DIB
business anymore. She had handed all that over to an underling in
the company, allowing Gwen to do all the PR work she used to
do.

“Once she knew about the baby, she was clearly
done with you.”

He swung around on her. “You told her about the
baby?”

“I had to,” Holly insisted. “She knew something
was up. We’re friends after all.”

Vanni sank down into a chair. He knew that
whether Holly intended to or not, she had just delivered the death
blow to his long, tumultuous relationship with Andy. There was no
way she’d take him back now, and he could hardly blame
her.

It was ironic, given he was almost completely
sure the entire reason they were in this mess was because he
thought Holly had been Andy.

Or maybe he needed to think that.

“I don’t want to be your backup plan,” Holly
asserted as she reached down to caress her flat stomach with one
hand. “We deserve better than that.”

He sighed. Now that Andy was gone, that little
baby growing inside Holly’s tummy was all he had left. He stood up
and walked over to her, taking both of her hands in his. “Yes, you
do deserve better,” he agreed. “Marry me and I’ll give you my best.
I promise.”

Holly turned away. Ever since she had gotten
pregnant she could cry just as easy as she could laugh. She didn’t
want him to see her tears. “No, Vanni. It’s not right unless you
love me.”

She disappeared into her own room that night
and didn’t come out before he left for the studio the next
morning.

He sent her roses, he had chocolate delivered,
he even purchased the baby its first official piece of clothing in
a very fitting blue. But every night she would shake her head and
tell him marriage was sacred. She couldn’t say yes knowing he
didn’t love her.

When she talked of moving out he grew more
desperate. The pregnancy wasn’t even showing yet and she was
willing to walk out on him. He had to bite the bullet and he knew
it. He went to a jewelry store, picked out a ring with a ruby
stone, her birthstone, and orchestrated a full three course meal to
be delivered to their apartment that night.

By dessert, her favorite, he finally went down
on one knee and formally asked her to marry him.

“Do you love me, Vanni?” she asked softly as
she searched his eyes for the truth.

Vanni had already made peace with the fact he
would never love anyone the way he loved Andy, but maybe he wasn’t
supposed to. Maybe the affection he felt for this girl, this
special girl who now carried the precious gift of his child,
qualified as love even if it wasn’t the same thing he felt for
someone else.

Maybe, just maybe, this was life making a smart
decision for him. Clearly he wasn’t capable of making any good ones
on his own.

Yet she was willing to love him, to raise a
baby with him, to never ask him for anything more than he was
willing to give. Maybe that was the purest kind of love.

And if he didn’t love her like he loved Andy,
he could still love her like she deserved.

He nodded. “Yes,” he whispered.

Tears welled in her eyes as she flew from her
seat into his arms. She awarded him with a passionate kiss that
lingered around the edges of his memory like the melody to a song
he couldn’t name. He knew instantly this was the kind of kiss that
sparked their night of passion, which resulted in a brand new
life.

What could possibly be wrong with
that?

He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to
his bedroom. He was completely sober as he made love to her again.
When she asked him to say her name, he only hesitated a moment
before he whispered, “Holly,” against her quivering
skin.

He touched her tummy, which bore no hint of the
changes that were going on deep inside her body. It was all so
magical. In mere months she’d be in full bloom with his child.
Would it be a girl? Would it be a boy? Would it look like him?
Would it resemble her?

He knew it wasn’t the journey he had envisioned
for himself, but there was someone more important in the picture
now. His child was worth any sacrifice he had to make.

With Holly it barely seemed like a sacrifice at
all. She was attentive and loving, especially now that she wore his
ring on her finger. They talked about a wedding date, and she told
him she’d always dreamed of a Christmas wedding. It was less than
ten days away but there was really no reason to wait.

Of course the minute they filed for their
marriage license the gossip mill was speculating if the Casanova of
Rock could ever really settle down. There was speculation of a
“shotgun” wedding but they both decided they wanted to wait on
announcing the baby. Not only was it none of their business, Holly
was extremely superstitious and felt announcing it before she was
three months along would risk a miscarriage. She’d had one before,
she confessed. It was her greatest fear.

So she suggested they wait until the frenzy
started over her baby bump, which would surely make itself known
around Valentine’s Day when she would be about fourteen weeks
along.

She managed to rent a church so they could “do
it right” before the eyes of God. Suddenly, since her pregnancy,
she was ready to throw herself into religious tradition in a way he
wasn’t expecting. But he was willing to indulge her. He might as
well make it a bonding commitment with God Almighty.

That was the one way he knew he’d never be
tempted to stray. Heaven only knew what other curve balls the Big
Guy was willing to sling his direction if he didn’t keep his nose
clean. Vanni somewhat suspected his Aunt Susan had something to do
with that.

She would be extraordinarily pleased he was
marrying a good Catholic girl in a proper church. It would save him
the ass-kicking she’d surely unleash the minute he joined her in
heaven for getting someone pregnant out of wedlock.

She knew he was no saint, but she had always
believed he was smarter than that. Up until 2010, he had
been.

The only wrinkle in the plan was that Holly had
invited Graham and Andy. Much to Vanni’s chagrin they both agreed
to come. His heart thundered at the thought of seeing her there in
the chapel as he married another woman.

In any rare dream he had had about that
scenario, she was not the one sitting in the pews.

But he couldn’t think about that anymore. He
still loved her but he loved his child more. It wasn’t even a
person yet but the pull he had towards the idea of a son or
daughter was powerfully motivating.

He’d already written lyrics, sappy stuff that
Julian and Yael would laugh him right out of the studio if he
presented it to them. It was crazy to think in all the years he had
run in fear of becoming a father nothing seemed to fulfill him
more.

Julian was cautiously pleased about their
impending union. He did warn Vanni that he had better never hurt
his sister, and it was a threat Vanni immediately understood
legitimate and justified. He never had a sister but he could see
himself issuing the same kind of warning had she
married.

He reassured Julian that there was no need for
him to worry. He’d made his decision. He wasn’t going to back out
now. Of all the women he had dated over the years, he had only
proposed to one. He intended to do whatever it took to make the
marriage last. That was how sacred he considered the covenant to
be.

Holly was just as committed to doing it right.
She moved out of the apartment and back in with Julian for the
remaining days before the wedding. Vanni missed having her around.
There was an emptiness in his life that he knew Holly
filled.

It made him even surer that he was making the
right decision.

He probably would have never questioned it at
all if he hadn’t gotten a text from Andy to meet her before the
wedding.

He wanted to meet her at Central Park but they
feared that would be too open. Instead they decided to meet at the
church where he was due to be married in three days.

He didn’t know what he was expecting as he
entered the dark, Gothic church in the heart of Manhattan, but it
wasn’t the pale, gaunt Andy standing by the altar. She looked ill,
probably heartsick, and her eyes were sad as she watched him
approach.

“You look great,” she said softly as her eyes
traveled over his frame. Thanks to Holly he had been well taken
care of and it showed.

“Thanks,” he said in response. He wanted to
tell her she looked great too but the fact was she looked like
hell. He hadn’t seen her look so bad since February of 2009. “Rough
flight?” he asked.

“Something like that,” she dismissed. She
pulled a small box from her jacket. “Happy birthday,” she said as
she handed it to him. He smiled as he unwrapped it and found a hand
knit scarf inside. “It’s from Grandma,” she clarified
unnecessarily.

He put it in his coat pocket. “Thank her for
me.”

She nodded. Her body wavered a bit, which
immediately drew his concern. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit?”
She nodded again and he guided her over to the first wooden pew.
“Why’d you call me, Andy?” he finally asked.

“I needed to see…” she hesitated briefly. “I
needed to know if you were happy.”