Guardian (Wolf Shifter Romance): Reckless Desires (Alpha Protectors Book 1) (12 page)

S
he was shaking
, her face pale and her eyes wide, but she was standing strong. She hadn’t broken, or given up. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she had crumpled into a pile of tears. It had been brutal; a man had died. Not a good man, but I couldn’t find it in myself to blame him. He had been the instrument, Jorge’s blade to wield. And now he was dead.

“You don’t have to do this—”

She was virtually jumping in her skin, her eyes darting around. “I do. He can’t get away with this, and I can’t let you kill him. I couldn’t live with it.”

I pulled her into my arms. “I understand. Which is why we need a plan. We need him to confess to his part in all of this, but you can’t let him get too close. You’ve got to promise me that.”

She squeezed me back, a small smile playing on her lips. “I can do this. I might not be a world-class actress, but I can play a part. Just let me try. If it seems like it’s not working,
then
you can step in.”

She was trusting me to keep her safe. Trusting me with her life.

“I need you to know something…” I dug deep, trying to muster the courage.

“What is it?” she whispered.

“Tasha…I want this. Us. I fell head over heels with you right back there at the beginning. I was a fool not to grab you with both hands and not let go. I just wanted you to know I’m not letting you go again. Ever.” I blurted it all out, not stopping for breath.

Her mouth parted—in surprise or shock I didn’t know—but I didn’t waste the chance. Leaning down, I kissed her, trying to put everything into it so that she knew without a doubt I meant it.

Greg’s voice whispered in my ear, “He’s one door away. Put her down and move into position.” He chuckled, but it sounded strained.

“Go,” I hissed, giving her a shove toward the far side of the room.

On silent feet she ran over to the couch, grabbed a book, and curled up. Moonlight pooled around her, surrounding her in silver warmth.

Glancing around, I searched for somewhere to hide. The door handle started to turn. I ducked into the wardrobe, sliding the door partially shut behind me.

Please, don’t let this be a mistake…

* * *

M
y heart was thundering
in my chest, the noise deafening to my ears.
Breathe…
I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, my chest expanding, my rib cage spreading until I couldn’t take anymore. I held it for a second, then expelled it out through my mouth. They were breathing exercises I hadn’t used in years, but had used every day when I had first started modeling to survive the pressure and constant scrutiny.

Cole slid into the closet, a silent shadow gliding through the room. Just knowing he was there gave me strength.

The door slid open and Jorge peered inside.

I feigned reading, my eyes scanning the page but not taking in a damn thing. I turned the page, sliding my finger along the cover. I glanced up, rearranging my face into one of pleasant surprise. “Jorge! What are you doing here?” I rested the book on my lap.
Just like playing a part.

He looked surprised to see me awake, but quickly rearranged his face into a smile. “Natasha, darling. I just had to check on you to make sure you’re really okay after everything that happened today.”

As if it was completely normal to sneak into my bedroom uninvited.

He walked forward, one arm stretched out, the other tucked behind his back.

Holding a really big knife.
How could I stop him from coming over and stabbing me in the stomach, like he had done to the man in the basement?

Inspiration hit.

“
Achoo
!”
I covered my nose and mouth, leaping up and skirting around the crazy guy for a tissue. Wiping my nose, I thrust out a hand. “Don’t come any closer, Jorge. I have the most dreadful cold brewing and I don’t want you to catch it.”

He hesitated, indecision flashing across his face.

Yeah, it was one thing to stab a man in the stomach who couldn’t run away, another to chase a screaming woman around a room.

Continuing my stroll around the bedroom, I paused by the dresser, picking up a comb and twirling it in my hand.
Time to cut the crap.
“Why did you do it, Jorge? You have everything—fame, money, a successful career.” I rounded the bed, putting it between us.

“What are you talking about, Natasha?” Jorge tried for a confused look, failing miserably.

I never thought he was that good of an actor.

“You trying to kill me.”
Straight for the jugular, don’t give him chance to dance around it.
“Why? I’m not a threat to your career. Our paths have never crossed before. We don’t even get offered the same kind of jobs, until this one…” My voice trailed off, an earlier conversation with Cole replaying in my head.

Did he select you for the part?
We’d been wrong. Not Michael.
Jorge.

“Did
you
ask for me? For this campaign?”

“Natasha, I don’t know—”

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. “You’re covered in blood, metaphorically and physically. I know you did it. I just want to know why?”

“Well, well, not as dumb as you look, are you?” he sneered, pulling the knife out from behind his back. The blade was still sticky with blood, beads of red clinging to the steel. He stabbed it toward me, slicing it through the air.

I sucked in a breath, stumbling back a step even though the bed still stood between us.

“I’ll scream, Jorge—”

“And no one will come to your rescue. They’ve gone out, you know. I watched them leave earlier. They’ve left you all alone. Even your sister went out and left you.”

I staggered back another step, painting horror onto my face. “Please, Jorge. Whatever I’ve done, I’ll fix it. I’m sorry!”

He sneered, taking a step forward. “You haven’t done anything. You’re just collateral damage.”

“What?” My voice broke, tears pooling in my eyes.

“I needed a star, someone famous enough to make it an event. Picture it—you, dying in my arms, gasping your last breath as I try to save you. All on camera. You would be immortalized and people would love me.”

I was trying to get my head around what he was saying, but I couldn’t.
What the—?
“People love you already!”

“Not enough. My last movie got cut, and didn’t even make back its production costs. There’s talk that I’m getting too old, and too many young actors are chasing my parts. All I had left were crappy endorsement campaigns, selling frozen food and furniture. Then this job came along, with built in exposure. With a little prodding, I knew they’d hire you, so all I had to do was take a pay cut to win the contract. I
had
to do something. Don’t you see? I wouldn’t need to act anymore. People would be begging me for my story, fighting for appearances and interviews.” His eyes blazed with egotistical madness, his movements jerky and unrestrained as he stalked toward me.

“So, let me get this right. You hired someone to kill me so you could cash in on the notoriety and fame?”

He nodded, moving closer. His tongue darted out to lick at his lips, his eyes raking over my body. “It’s a shame. You’re a beautiful woman. But you never looked once at me, not once! Holding your nose up in the air, thinking you’re better than the rest of us.”

“Jorge, I need to hear you say it. I... I don’t think I can believe you until you do.”
Come on, give me a full confession!
I scooted back another step, my back hitting the wall.

Triumph surged on his face, his lips forming a mocking pout that looked strangely garish. “Believe it, my darling. I hired someone to kill you, and they failed, so I’m going to put that right. It’s just a shame it’s not on camera…”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to milk it, somehow,” I murmured, clinging desperately onto the last of my calm. That knife was looking pretty close, and just one more step and I would be in trouble.

Now would be a pretty good time for you to make a move, Cole!
I screamed silently.

* * *

M
y blood was boiling
, my back teeth nearly ground to dust, my muscles aching from the iron clamp I held on them. Every cell in my body screamed at me to get out there, to protect her. She was my mate and she was in danger. Period, end of story. And I was hiding in a
fucking
closet.

Their words buzzed in my ears. I narrowed my eyes until all I could see was her, the slight jump as her pulse hammered at the base of her throat, the small tremor in her hands. Sweat poured off me, drenching me as I fought my wolf, fought against nature.

I should have ripped Jorge’s throat out and been done with it.
But that wasn’t what she wanted.

“Cole will find you, he’ll make you pay.” Her voice was as clear as a bell ringing in my ears.
She needed me.

“He’s like a lovesick puppy, following you around. How can you stand the idiot drooling over you? You’re so much better—”

I cut Jorge’s rant off the easiest way I knew how, by cutting off his air supply. Digging my arm into his neck, I dragged him off the floor until he was dangling, his legs kicking in panic.

“Actually, my sister said something very similar, but a hell of a lot nicer. And to answer your question, I don’t mind
at all
,” Tasha said as she peeled herself off the wall, rolling her shoulders back. “Thanks for the confession.” Her hands still trembled, her knuckles white around the comb she held in her hand.

“Would you mind getting me something so I can take this knife off him? I don’t want my fingerprints messing up the evidence trail.” I winked at Tasha, hoping to calm her down.

She grabbed a pillow off the bed, whipped the case off, and handed it to me.

Jorge, suddenly remembering that he held the knife, reached up and stabbed it into my arm.

I forced a loud laugh. “Ouch, that hurt a little. Thanks,” I murmured to Tasha, plucking the knife out and tossing it onto the bed. “Oh, by the way, it’s lovesick wolf…” I ended on a low growl, letting my wolf flash into my eyes, letting him see the animal that wanted to pick him apart and glory in the kill.

“Oh!” Tasha exclaimed, her hand coming up to smother a strained giggle. “Someone’s had a little…accident. Shame.” She glared at Jorge, no remorse on her face.

“Good. Time to put him in the basement—”

Jorge kicked out, a fresh spurt of panic gripping him. “No!” His cry was feeble, as if already resigned to his fate.

Tasha neatly wrapped the knife up in the pillowcase and handed it to me. “You’re going to get all the fame you can handle, Jorge. I hope it was worth it,” she murmured, her voice dripping with regret as she watched me manhandle him out of the room.

T
he bedroom door creaked open
. “Natasha, can I come in?”

I waved Scar in, not bothering to break off from my task.

“What are you doing?”

I grabbed another handful of clothes from the closet, pulling them free from their hangers. Bending down, I shoved them into my case. “Isn’t it obvious?” I grunted, giving the piling mountain of clothes an extra shove for good luck.

“Packing.” She nodded sagely, sitting down on my bed and tucking her feet underneath her.

“Yes. Packing.”
Time for the drawers. Why the hell did I bring so much stuff?

“I totally understand.”

My hand froze, clutching a colorful handful of panties. “You do?”

“Uh-huh. Of course I do. I mean, you couldn’t possibly stay here, not after everything that’s happened. Nope, you need to get away from it all.”

“Yes, I do,” I said weakly, moving across the room to drag my case closer to the drawers.

“Sooooo, you’re
not
running away from a certain alpha wolf?”

“Who? Cole? No!”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Who else would I be talking about? And, no, you can’t have Greg. I’ve got my eye on that one.”

“You have?” Something was wrong with me. I was struggling to keep up; my mind was sluggish and refusing to play ball.

Scar raised her eyes to the ceiling, and at first I thought she was praying, until she spoke. “Greg, sweet cheeks, if you’re still listening and recording, now would be a good time to turn it off.” She grinned, blowing a kiss at the camera.

“Did he do it?” I couldn’t see the camera, but my eyes were nowhere near as good as hers.

“He did. He knows what’s best for him. Right, back to you. What are we going to do about you and Cole?”

I shrugged, trying to embody the gesture with a
do-not-care
attitude. “Do? Nothing. He has issues, I have issues. We’ve tried to work it out and failed miserably.”

“So, you’re just going to run away? He’ll chase you—”

“No one’s asking him to!” I snapped out, frustration spilling out of me. “I don’t know what he wants from me!”

“Thanks for watching her for me, Scarlett,” Cole’s voice came from behind me.

“No problem,” my traitorous sister drawled, springing off the bed and darting out of the room, an apologetic grin on her face.

Cole turned to me, his expression serious. “Now, about what I want from you. Wait, let me speak, and then you can have your turn.” He paused, waiting for my nod, which eventually came. “I messed up. I hold my hands up to it, and I’m going to tell you why.” He took a deep breath, then continued, “My brother was a monster.”

“What?”

He raised his eyebrows.

“Sorry,” I muttered, miming zipping my lips shut.

“As I was saying, my brother was a monster. He murdered his own mate, and the unborn child she carried.”

I couldn’t hold back the gasp of shock.

He grimaced, his eyes shadowed in deep pain, the kind that dug in and didn’t let go. “He was a jealous man and his mate cheated on him. He caught them together and lost it. That’s all I know. He killed himself afterward.”

I waited for him to continue, but he remained silent. “That’s horrible. I can’t begin to understand how you must have felt.” My hand reached out of its own accord, stroking down his arm. “But, Cole? I don’t understand what this has to do with us.”

“I thought I was a monster too. I believed that I’d kill you one day.”

His blunt words had me recoiling in shock. Immediately I regretted my reaction, but I couldn’t take it back. He thought it to be true. I could see it in his face. I spun around and walked over to the bed, sinking down onto the mattress, my mind reeling. “So, what now? You say you want something from me, with me, but then you tell me this.” My hand rose in the air, then drifted back down to my lap, dejected.

“Don’t you see? I thought I was a monster, that it was hardwired in my genes to destroy everything I love, but I’m not. That day at the lake proved it to me.” He walked toward me and dropped to his knees. “Tasha, I have lived my whole life wanting and waiting to find my mate. Then I found you. I was so happy! Over-the-moon ecstatic! And then devastated. I thought I had to give you up to save you…”

“And now you don’t?” I whispered.

“I don’t.” His words were soft, his eyes searching mine. “When Jorge kissed you—”

“It wasn’t real.”

“I know. But my wolf didn’t. It wasn’t until that moment that I
really
knew. I didn’t lose control, didn’t go on a murderous rampage. My only thought was about
protecting
you.”

Understanding dawned on me. “You were jealous but you didn’t want to hurt me?”

He sat back on his heels, relief relaxing his mouth into a happy smile. “In a watered-down nutshell. My wolf is an animal, a predator who sees you as his mate. He wasn’t happy seeing you kiss another man, but he didn’t want to hurt you.”

I thought back over everything we had been through, his actions and reactions, the distance he had put between us. It certainly explained a lot. But was it enough?

* * *

S
he was staring at me
, not saying a word.

I’d known I’d have a fight on my hands, but I hadn’t expected silence.

“Where were you going?” I eventually said, giving up on the fantasy of her throwing herself into my arms.

She turned away, her lashes skimmed her cheeks as she glanced at the floor. “Just back to LA.”

“Don’t lie to me, not now.” I didn’t mean it to come out so harsh, but couldn’t she see it? We had a chance now. “I can smell your lie.”

Her head whipped around, her hair slashing through the air. “You can? That’s not normal for a shifter.”

“I’m not a normal shifter,” I answered. “Let’s try again. Where were you going?”

“I don’t know—”

I raised a single eyebrow.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her lips dipping in a scowl. “I really don’t! I hadn’t decided yet.”

“Taking a vacation?”

“Something like that.”

“Shifter lie detector, remember?”

“Jeez!” She threw her arms in the air. “You would be a nightmare to live with!”

“Why don’t you try it and find out? I can assure you the benefits would far outweigh the negatives.”

“Live together?”

“That’s what mates do, isn’t it?”

“You’re asking me to be your mate?”

It was my turn to scowl. “What did you think all this was about? I don’t go around baring my soul and sharing my secrets for nothing.”

“I... I don’t know if I can.”

“Why?” The word was ground out.
On second thought, maybe plan B would have been a better choice.
The one where I didn’t give her a chance to think about things until after. But that wouldn’t have been fair.

She remained silent, expelling a shaky breath.

“Tasha, if I don’t know what’s wrong then I can’t fix it.”

“You can’t fix this.”

“Try me.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m running away.”

My first thought was,
from me?
I clamped my teeth together, silently urging her to get it over with. If she
really
didn’t want to be my mate then I’d have to accept it. I wasn’t going to force her.

“I don’t want this life anymore. I don’t think I ever did. I convinced myself that I was okay with the fame and constant limelight…”

“So why be a model?”

“The pack needed money, my mom and papa needed the money. And—”

“And?” I prompted when she paused, a shudder running through her.

“There was a guy.”

My jaw throbbed and ached, my teeth protesting the constant pummeling.

“He made it clear that I was going to be his when I reached maturity. He promised the pack money if they promised me to him.”

“So you decided to make your own money.” To find her way out of a situation like that…I didn’t have the words.
My mate was beyond amazing.

She nodded, her eyes blank as she recalled the past. “He was a lot older than me, a wolf shifter from a neighboring pack. The way he would look at me… Scar protected me from him for as long as she could.” She blinked, her hands twisting in her lap. “I figured if I was lucky I’d earn enough to buy my way out of the arrangement.”

“You got lucky, and then some.”

“I did. And with it came fame. Turns out he didn’t like the limelight any more than I did.”

“He walked away?”

She shrugged. “He said I wasn’t fit to be a mate for an Alpha wolf, that I was tainted by wickedness and a fame-mongering whore to boot.”

Rage thundered through me. “He’s an idiot.”

She laughed, a soft, broken sound. “He’s right though. People either want me for my fame and fortune, or despise me because of it.”

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

“That’s bullshit. It’s a job, that’s all. It’s not
who
you are. Deep down inside you’re the same girl you would have been even if you’d been waiting tables or working in an office for the last five years. Fame hasn’t warped your values or made you soft. In fact, it’s probably made you work even harder to stay grounded. I know you, Tasha, and you’re a good person.”

She gasped, her lips parting in shock. “But—”

“If you’re leaving me because you can’t love me, that’s fine. Okay, it’s not
fine
, but I’ll learn to live with it. Don’t leave me because you don’t think I can handle it.”

“But that’s just it! I’m leaving it all behind. I don’t want the fame anymore!”

I could feel the grin sliding across my face. “Good. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your money, and if you weren’t in constant demand that would suit me just fine. Means I’d get to spend more time with you,
quality
time…” I tried for a comical leer, anything to put a smile on her face.

She swallowed hard. “I don’t know who I really am,” she whispered.

“How about we find out? Together?” I’d promised myself I wouldn’t beg, but I was a hairsbreadth away from it.
Dammit
, I was already on my knees.

She closed her eyes, the worry lines smoothing from her face. “How about right now?” she murmured, not opening her eyes.

She was giving me a chance.

“I thought you’d never ask,” I growled. Cupping her head, I tugged her forward into a long, drawn-out kiss, pouring my heart and soul into it.

I would prove myself worthy of her, or die trying,
I swore silently.