Guarding Kelsey ((Books We Love Romantic Suspense)) (22 page)

“Not really.
I guess I want to understand why you keep me at a distance.”

She turned her baby blue eyes toward him, and for a long moment he debated about answering.
Kelsey had created a myth about him that wasn't real.
Far from being some romantic hero, he was nothing more than a man who had done more than his fair share of screwing up.

"I don’t think it would help you to know that right now."
She would worry about her situation more if she knew what had happened.
He’d blown a case once, he could do it again.
And she’d be the one to pay this time.
Only, it would be over his dead body, literally.

“I think you’re wrong.
I do need to know or I’ll imagine the worst.”

“And you would be right.”

“I doubt it.”

She had accused him of being stubborn?
She wasn’t going to let up until she dragged every lurid detail of his past to surface.
He couldn’t discourage her with
logic;
perhaps the truth would help her see how wrong he was for her.
“Eighteen months ago, my partner and I were working a case down in the Bowery.”

“Martinez?”

“No.
Mark.
Mark Savorese.”
More than a partner, Marc had been like a brother to him.
“We had a lead on our suspect. An informant told me he’d heard the guy was hiding out in an abandoned factory near the waterfront.
I wanted to call for back up, hell I knew I should call for back up.”

He and Marc had already been written up once for a similar situation, but since their actions had resulted in a successful collar, neither one took the warning seriously.

“Mark was afraid the guy would skip out if he saw a caravan of police cars.
Or it would turn out to be a false lead and we’d look like two chumps.”

Wolf closed his eyes to gather his thoughts, but the sounds of gunshots and the smell of blood still haunted him.
It hadn’t been a false lead, it had been an ambush.
Only Mark had never been the intended target.

"And?" she prompted.

"And there was no suspect, no informant.
Just a couple of wise-guys looking to get even with the man who had put their little brother away for life.”

“Your partner?”

“No, me.
Mark wasn’t supposed to die in that warehouse.
He had a wife and two kids and everything to live for.”

Wolf relived that night, over and over.
Why hadn’t he followed procedure and waited for back up?
Why hadn’t he gone in first?
The questions had haunted him for the past eighteen months.
His one mandatory visit to the department shrink had resulted in a vague speech about survivor’s guilt but Wolf never bought it. In the theoretical case, the guilt was unwarranted.
In Wolf’s case, the blame was all his.

She closed her hand around his.
“That’s terrible.
But not your fault.”

“It was my bullet he took.”

“You didn’t shoot him.”

Memories of that night sent a cold chill along his spine.
The shooting was only half of it.
Going to see Mark’s widow had been as
gut wrenching
as losing his partner.
She hadn’t blamed Wolf, but he would have preferred that she had.
He hadn’t wanted to be let off easy.
His partner had lost his life because of him, even if the official police report and all his colleagues told a different story.

Kelsey was right, he hadn’t pulled the trigger.
However, he had been the intended target. His informant had sent them to the warehouse and it had been his decision to follow the lead.
Even if Mark had made the decision to forgo back up, Wolf could have called in.

Legally he wasn’t to blame, but he took responsibility for a dedicated cop and devoted father being gunned down.
His best friend’s death wasn’t on his record but it was on his conscience.
He had to find a way to deal with the guilt, not just ignore it.

Could he have changed the outcome?
Maybe not.
Had he done all he could after the fact and under the circumstances?
Definitely.
Mark’s killers were apprehended and brought to justice.

Wolf still wished he had done things differently.
He would always have regrets, but he was able to let go of some of the guilt.
He had Kelsey to thank for that.

He had done a lot of good in his career.
If he didn’t believe he was effective in his job, he had no business assuming responsibility for her safety.
She had placed her trust in him and he could not— would not— let her down.
But his reasons went so much deeper than merely professional.

How fitting that a die-hard cynic like himself would lose his heart to a dreamer.
The reverse he could understand, for Kelsey believed in the possibility.
There was justice in the world, even if it was poetic.
The trick would be, not letting his emotions get the better of his judgment.

* * *

“I think we should be on our way.” Wolf said.

“Why?”

“Before you get any ideas.”

Kelsey
wasn’t sure what came over her. She was tired of playing by the rules, behaving like the
well-bred
society princess he thought her to be.
Without pausing, she pulled her sweater over her head.
“Too late?”

Wolf’s jaw dropped.
“What are you doing?”

“Figure it out, Detective.
Read the clues.”
She left her sweater on the kitchen table and joined him by the fireplace.
Before he could make an escape, she straddled her legs across his lap.

Warm breath tickled her neck and his strong hands gripped her waist.
For one awkward moment she feared he planned to lift her off of him.

"You’re asking for trouble," he warned.

"I know I'm asking for it. If I was any more obvious, I would be screaming."

“Don’t you realize the seriousness of your situation? My attention is better off focused on your safety.”

“Come on, Wolf.
The biggest danger here is landing in a smelly cow-pie.
Can’t we have today for ourselves, before we have to go back to the reality waiting in
t
he
c
ity?”

A series of conflicting expressions played across his face as if he was playing a mental game of tug-o-war.
She wriggled in his lap, drawing a groan and a grin for her efforts.
“Damn, you’re incorrigible.”

She draped her arms on his shoulders.
“I was afraid I was going to have to make another raspberry torte.”

“Not this time.”
He unhooked her bra, and removed the flimsy garment.
His lips grazed over one throbbing breast, then the other.
“But there is something I want from you.”

“Anything.”

“Afterwards, I teach you how to use the gun.”

“Anything but that.”

“It’s a deal breaker, Kelsey.”
He slid his hand between her legs and stroked the wet flesh.

A breath caught in her throat.
He knew what she liked. Kelsey weighed her options: The promise of great sex in exchange for something that apparently meant a lot to him.
If he would compromise his principals for her, she could do the same. Before he added
any more
restrictions, she lifted herself off his lap. “Deal!
Now get your clothes off, Wolf.”

She scooted down the hall towards the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind for him to follow.
Outside the door, she paused.
“I’m waiting.”

He took his sweet time strolling down the hall and removing his clothes.
As she tried to hurry him along, he pushed her hands away.
If he planned to get even for her behavior, he succeeded.
Should he ever want to leave the police profession, he could have a brilliant career as a male stripper.
Not only did he know how to tantalize, the end result was more than worth the wait.
He had worked her into a thorough state of impatience by the time he finished.

He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her firmly against him.
His body was rock solid and searing hot.
He wasn’t gentle, but neither was he rough. Calloused hands caressed her back and moved lower to
cover her
buttocks.
As he pulled her against his full arousal her knees went weak with pure desire.

"Is this what you want, Kelsey."

"Yes."
She wanted this, and so much more.
She wanted him above her, inside her, joined body and soul.

He slid his hand along her hip and down to her thigh.

Her reaction was rapid and acute.
Moisture pooled in her lower abdomen and she arched against his open palm.
She moaned from the exquisite delight his touch inspired.

His fingers found the sensitive bud in the dampness between her legs.
Waves of pleasure washed over her.
She sighed.

"That’s the spot”."

“Just one of several.”
The words rolled off his tongue and straight down her spine.
The tingling sensation hit every nerve fiber along the way.
Even his voice excited her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled the two of them onto the mattress. His body pressed to hers, scorching her with the pure strength and silky smoothness of hard flesh.

He balanced his weight on his elbows and hovered just slightly above her.
"Maybe you’d like to
.
."

“Yes, I’d like to…” she said before he could finish.

“To do what?”

“Anything.” Her anticipation rose as well as her level of frustration.
Wolf seemed determined to keep an excruciatingly slow pace.
She wriggled beneath him, urging him to join with her.

“What’s your hurry?”

“I don’t want to be patient,” she muttered breathlessly.
She arched to him,
welcoming him deep inside her.

Unlike her, Wolf was in complete control.
At least he appeared to be, until she began to move beneath him and his steely resolve began to crumble.
He grabbed hold of her wrists and pinned her arms above her head.
He was no more patient than she was but he fought
to
maintain his iron fisted control.