Authors: Keisha Ervin
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
I dedicate this book to the strong women in my life who
have helped me, guided me and loved me unconditionally
this past year. Mama, Locia, Joan and Slyvette Bassett,
TuShonda and last but not least, Brenda Hampton.
If it weren't for you ladies I don't know what I would've
done or where or I would be. I thank you from the
bottom of my heart.
he one who loves least controls the relationship . . .
Lord, people just don't know how much I've prayed and gave just to be where I am right now. I wish that I could say that this journey has been easy but it hasn't. Along the way I have dodge and jumped over many hurdles. I've been lied to, misused, taken for granted and taken advantage of. My fans and people on the street think that I have it going on and think that I have it made because of the number of books I have on the shelf, the clothes I wear and the way I rock my hair. What they don't know is that so many nights have passed where I have cried until my eyes were swollen and my throat was sore because of all the problems and obstacles I've faced, some great and some small. But you being God delivered me from them all. You have been my comfort, my shelter and my confidante. It's another day's journey and all I can say Lord is that I'm glad to be here.
My gosh!!! You're nine years old now which means that with each day I'm getting older, lol. Words cannot explain how much I love you. My heart melts every time I look into your eyes. I am so proud of you. You are growing up to be a very bright, charismatic, handsome and intelligent young man. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you.
Loving you with all of my heart,
I have to say thank you and I love you to my mother Pat, my father Carl, my brother Keon, my boyfriend Jay, Locia, Sharissa, Monique, Dee, Tu-Shonda, Ashley, the entire Ervin, Poe and Bassett families!!!
Also I have to give a special thank you to Brenda my new agent, YAY!!!! Thank you for helping me get out of a bad situation with the previous company I was with and into a good one. You have come to be an awesome friend and a damn good agent. The sky is the limit for us and I know with you by my side we can touch the stars. I love you.
And to Carl Weber and the entire Urban family staff, I thank you all from the bottom of heart. Working with you all has been such a pleasure. Carl thanks for opening your arms and welcoming me into your world. I promise not to let you down.
For all you readers out there who have enjoyed my work and wrote to me giving me words of encouragement know that I don't take any of it for granted. Without you all I wouldn't be here so thank you and if you would like to email me with any questions or feedback please contact me at [email protected] or
'll do whateva u like . . .
Nicole Sherzinger, “Whatever U Like”
here she was, posted by the bar, chilling, sipping on her third Long Island Iced Tea when she noticed him. The club was packed and overflowing with people, but somehow their eyes still met. Gray with her pouty pink lips wrapped around the thin red straw in her drink watched as he and his mans came bouncing through the door and took over the spot. Everybody in the club, even the most well-known players and hustlers, wanted to show them love.
The whole squad was donned in white tees, hoodies, and designer baggy jeans. From the dip in their walk to the killer instinct in their eyes, Gray could tell they were some trap-by-day, play-all-night, go-gettin'-ass niggas. But out of the whole crew, one stood out the most. There was a quiet confidence about him that reminded her of the actor Idris Elba. She could tell by the swagger in his walk that he knew he was hot. Hell, she couldn't even front; homeboy had her open on sight.
He reminded her of a six foot three West African god. His skin was the shade of rich black Hawaiian sand, but his eyes were what drew her to him the most. They were shaped like diamonds and somewhat intimidating. A trimmed goatee outlined his full lips, which were begging to be licked. Smooth, spinning waves with a lining so precise it resembled a work of art caused the lips of her pussy to coat with cream.
Gray wanted to be put on in the worst way. Like Brandy, she wanted to be down. She didn't know his name, if he had a girl, or what part of The Lou he was from, but he had to be the most handsome man she had ever seen. This dude was most definitely the truth. On sight he could get it how he wanted; but there was something behind his mesmerizing eyes that screamed
“Gray . . . Gray!” Kema, one of her best friends, shook her arm, bringing her out of a daze. “C'mon, girl, they playin' our song!”
Gray was so transfixed on the chocolate-colored cutie that she didn't even hear her jam thumpin'. “Whatever U Like” by Nicole Scherzinger was spilling through the speakers, causing the wooden floor underneath her feet to vibrate all the way to her soul. As if they'd rehearsed it, she and her girls Kema, Heidi, and Tee-Tee formed a semicircle in the middle of the dance floor and started doing their thing. The neon lights up above served as their spotlight. Lost in the music, Gray's body became one with the beat.
She'd just been hired to work at one of the nation's top style magazines, and all of the pumped-up energy inside her was dying to be released. As soon as her stilettos hit the floor, her lower half began to pop, lock, and drop. She was killin' it, and everybody in the club was taking notice. Seductively she wound her hips when she felt the sensation of two strong hands wrap around her waist. She hoped that it was the guy she'd been checkin', but it wasn't. This dude was a baby.
Poor thing had no idea what he was getting himself into. Gray had something to prove. It was either her or him; one of them was about to get bodied on the dance floor. With the confidence of an exotic dancer, she walked up on him, spun around, and dipped down low. Gray was so far down that her ass was almost sweeping the floor. Totally feeling herself, she wound her hips while still bent low. Slithering her body like a snake, she made her way back up and massaged her ample butt cheeks into his hardened dick.
All the guy could utter was, “Damn.”
Gray simply ignored him and continued to do her thing. Tipsy and uninhibited, she leaned over and enticingly made her booty shake. Locking eyes with the black knight from across the room, she ran her hands through her hair and mouthed the words
Something 'bout that cocky thing you got make me wanna see what's really going on
. It seemed like he enjoyed watching her put on a show, so Gray put even more energy into her erotic dance moves while singing the words to the song: “I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like, I can do, I can do, I'll do, I'll do, whatever you like.”
Having his full attention, she then bit down onto her lower lip and smiled. Even though she was dancing with another man, Gray was the coffee-colored don's private dancer. She could tell that the chocolate thug liked what he saw when he hit her with a sexy grin and winked his eye in approval. Gray knew just the right moves to make him want to taste it. The way she worked her hips and thighs had him hypnotized.
There was no denying it. Gray was one of the coldest chicks in the club. She wasn't model thin or outrageously plump; Gray was a confident size fourteen and loving it. That night she rocked the hell out of a mint green, plunging V-neck, tunic mini-dress and gold YSL heels. Her long black hair was set in full, wavy curls, emphasizing the golden hue in her caramel skin.
She possessed catlike ocean blue eyes that seemed to put anyone in her presence in a trance, dangerously high cheek bones, bunny nose, and succulent full pink lips. All of her Korean and African American assets were on full display that night. In so many words, homegirl had it going on. You couldn't tell her she wasn't the shit. BeyoncÃ©, Ciara, or any of them R&B bitches didn't have a thing on her.
With the clock striking 2:30
, the club lights went from dim to bright, letting everyone know it was time to head home. As she picked up her gold Louis Vuitton Miroir bag, the guy Gray had been dancing with tried to push up, but she wasn't having it. Only one man had her attention that night, so she searched the club, only to find that he was already gone. “Shit,” she whispered underneath her breath.
“Where we going now?” Gray asked as she and her girls exited club Dolce's door and welcomed the cool spring air. “'Cause y'all know we gots ta kick it. A week from now I start my new job, so all this shaking my ass in the club shit every night has got to stop.”
“On the Eastside,” Kema said while smiling and blowing kisses at different men as they strode by. “But first let me go holla at one of my tenders,” she announced before disappearing in the crowd.
“Oh, hell no,” Gray groaned with her arms folded across her chest. Her feet were killing her.
“What's wrong wit' you?” Heidi asked.
“My feet hurt and this bitch gon' be all day. You know she got the keys.”
“Damn, she do,” her other friend, Tee-Tee, joined in. “Shit, you right. She better hurry up 'cause I gots to get home to my boo.” He smiled devilishly as he thought about all the freaky things he wanted to do.
“Oh my God. Is that all you two think about?” Gray rolled her eyes to the sky.
“Eww, don't hate 'cause you ain't gettin' no dick. You the crazy muthafucka. Personally, I don't know how you do it. I couldn't imagine going a year and a half without gettin' some dick. On everything I love, I swear to God I would be somewhere hemmed up in a corner shaking.”
“Yo' ass is stupid, and besides, it ain't my fault that I haven't met anybody worth giving it to.”
“Whateva.” He sucked his teeth. “Better you than me 'cause personally, I couldn't do it. I get sick just thinking about it.”
While Gray tried her best to ignore the fact that she hadn't been kissed, held, or touched in over a year, she noticed that the street, Broadway, had somehow magically morphed into an outdoors night club. The atmosphere was live. Nobody seemed to be going home. There had to be about a hundred cars ranging from tricked-out old schools to Benzes and Hummers riding up and down the street. Hoochies of all different shapes and sizes were going hard for a shot at being the next hustler's wife. Gray, on the other hand, wasn't fazed a bit by the iced-out medallions and hundred thousandâdollar cars. After college, she'd landed a job writing for
magazine. Gray had her own dough, so how fat a nigga's pockets were didn't turn her on at all.
“Who . . . is . . . that . . . li'l daddy?” Tee-Tee stressed in great amazement.
Gray glanced to her right and noticed that the dude she'd been eye-fuckin' from afar had pulled up directly in front of her in a silver '09 MurciÃ©lago. She had never seen anything like it. The car was stunningly breathtaking, and when the suicide doors came up, she really bugged out.
“He is most definitely a winner,” Tee-Tee whispered underneath his breath as the guy stepped out of his ride and leaned up against the hood.
And Tee-Tee was absolutely right. This dude was the type of man you wanted to sink your teeth into. He looked like he had the technique to freak a girl inside out. His entire being reminded her of a sexual chocolate bar, and his outfit only made him look fresher. Even though it was your typical hoodboy attire, he was still the hottest dude within miles. His tall, muscular frame was draped in a thermal, fitted but still a little baggy embroidered Rich Yung jeans, and Tims. This dude could most definitely get it. Instantly, he had Gray's vote.
“Yo, come here. Let me holla at you for a second.” He looked her square in the eyes.
“Who, me?” Gray's eyes grew wide as she pointed to her chest.
“Yeah, you. Who else you think I'm talkin' to? Come here.”
Gray's right eyebrow instantly sprouted into an arch. She wanted to ask him who he was talking to but thought against it. There was something about his demeanor that told her that this man didn't fuck around or play games, so instead of getting smart, she placed her shoulders back and strutted over to him. Sheer appreciation was written all over his face. She had the meanest walk that he'd ever been blessed to see.
“Okay, I'm here. Now what?”
“What you mean, now what?” He gripped her waist and pulled her close. “You been fuckin' wit' my ass all night; now you wanna act shy.”
“First of all, I'm far from shy. And why are your hands on me?”
“Correction: they're wrapped around you, and that's where they're supposed to be.”
“Oh, really?” Gray nervously grinned.
“Don't front, ma. You know you like it.” He pulled her even farther in between his legs, his hard dick now poking her thigh.
“What's your name?”
“Gunz,” she repeated, shocked.
“Yeah.” He massaged her hips. “What, you got a problem with my name?”
“Bet not,” he whispered into her ear.
“Whateva.” Gray laughed.
“You know I like 'em thick.” He ignored her and admired her frame.
“Okay, you are officially a mess.”
“What's your name?”
“Gray, but you can call me G.”
“How about I call you my girl?”
Gray's lungs had officially deflated and she couldn't breathe. This dude had her heart in the palm of his hand and didn't even know it. For a minute they just stood gazing into each other's eyes, each wondering what the other was thinking, when a cool breeze swept over each of their bodies.
“Ooh.” She hugged herself tight.
“You a'ight?” Gunz gently began caressing her goose bumpâcovered arms.
“Just a little cold.”
“We can take care of that.” He stood up. Her breasts were now pressed up against his broad chest. “C'mon.”
Gunz took Gray's hand and led her over to the passenger side door of his car. Before she got in, Gray looked around for Heidi and Tee-Tee, but noticed that they, too, had disappeared. Figuring she would look for her friends in a minute, she hopped inside Gunz's car. Once in, she sat comfortably in the custom made, butter-soft leather seats while Gunz talked on his cell phone. Common's “I Want You” played as she sat quietly, thinking,
What in the hell have I gotten myself into
“My bad. That was my pot'nah from out of town,” he let her know as he flipped his phone shut.
“Yo, I'm feelin' crazy nice right now.” He laughed, running his hands down his face. Gunz had drunk five glasses of Hennessy neat.
“So, what's good wit' you, Gray?” he asked, pulling a blunt and two thick wads of cash out of his pocket at the same time.
“You tell me.” She arched one eyebrow, wondering if she was supposed to be impressed.
“At the moment, you.”
“Is that right?” She laughed.
“Yeah, and my bad; you smoke?” He attempted to pass her the blunt.
“Nah, you good.” She pushed his hand back toward him.
“So this y'all li'l spot?”
“Nah,” she replied, remembering her friends. “What, you come here a lot?”
“Nah, shorty, a nigga like me always on the move. As a matter of fact, I just got back into town today.”
“What were you there for?”
“I went to see the fight.”
“The Sugar Shane Mosley fight?”
“Yeah, I had some money on that shit.”
“I wanted to go see that fight. Did you win?”
“C'mon, ma.” He twisted up his face like she was crazy. “Ya boy here never loses. I always play to win.”
“Word. And don't think I forgot.” He placed his head down and gave her his infamous crooked grin.
“How you was throwing that ass all up on that nigga in the club. What, you was try'na make me jealous?” Gunz eyed her shimmering bronze legs and wondered how they would feel up on his shoulders.
Following his eyes, Gray came to the conclusion that he was peepin' her frame, but she played it cool. She couldn't let him know that his gaze alone made her want to jump on his dick and ride it all the way until the sun came up.
“How could I possibly make you jealous? I don't even know you.”
“Gray,”âhe scooted closerâ“so you try'na tell me that show wasn't for me?”
“Gunz,” she countered back, “stop asking me questions you already know the answers to.”