Had to Be You: Bad Boys of Red Hook (10 page)

He stayed still and listened to Rocki’s rhythmic breathing. He’d give it another ten minutes and he’d go to his own bed and try to sleep.

No matter how much code he wrote, he couldn’t let go of what had happened in the hospital, so he finally gave up and went there. Or tried to. He put himself back in that place—the ICU room—and tried his damnedest to remember. Every time he felt as if he was almost there, it disappeared. The sick feeling still sat cold and heavy in his stomach. The fear was alive and well, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, remember what caused it.

It was in the wee hours of the morning when he finally gave up trying and moved to get out of bed but Rocki held on to him. Every time he moved, her grip tightened. She mumbled something in her sleep and didn’t settle until he wrapped his arms around her again. So much for going back to his own room—not that he was complaining. There were far worse things than spending the night holding Rocki . . . like trying to remember his past. He pulled her closer and settled in for a few hours of shut-eye. He was glad he was exhausted, because sleeping next to Rocki was dangerous.

•   •   •

Slater came awake and looked right into Rocki’s shock-widened blue eyes. She was all warm and rumpled and her leg was thrown over his hip. His hand was wrapped around her upper thigh, and her nightgown had either ridden up or he’d pushed it. He wasn’t sure if her shocked expression was from finding herself glued to him—trapped by her leg, or because she rode the erection straining the buttons of his 501s. From the red coloring her face he surmised she was either really embarrassed or completely turned on. Either way, he wasn’t about to let her go. “Morning.” He slid his hand farther up her thigh to her ass, shifted her beneath him, and kissed her.

•   •   •

I
t took a moment for Rocki to realize she hadn’t been dreaming. Of course, there wasn’t much to do about it now that Slater was lying on top of her with his tongue in her mouth. It was nice. She supposed
nice
wasn’t the best descriptor—hot, amazing, groan-worthy—any of those would have definitely fit the bill. She wasn’t sure if the groan she heard was his or hers, but by the way her back arched off the bed, she didn’t think it mattered.

Her hands tangled in his hair and her legs had somehow ended up wrapped around his waist.

Her brain screamed no, but her body screamed giddyup. Still she needed to put a stop to this—unfortunately.

By the time she wrapped her mind around the problem, Slater had dragged his lips down her throat and was unbuttoning her nightgown. The man had incredible manual dexterity and that wasn’t the only thing that was impressive about him. He kissed like a dream, which was exactly what she’d thought he was. She wasn’t supposed to be kissing the real Slater Shaw.

“Slater.” She dragged in a breath. “I need a do-over.”

“No problem,” he mumbled against her neck and slid his tongue over a sensitive spot she hadn’t known existed. “We can do this over and over and over again.”

He tugged the gown open over her breast and covered it with his mouth, sucking every thought of stopping this fiasco from her head. Every tug of his mouth on her breast was met with a thrust of his hips and she couldn’t think of anything except getting more, getting closer, and getting into his pants.

She clawed at the button fly and with just a yank, the rest of the buttons popped open. It was a good thing his jeans were well worn. Wasting no time, she dipped her hand into the waistband of his boxers and grabbed hold.

His erection sprang free as he reared up and dragged her nightgown over her head before tugging his own T-shirt off.

They stared at each other, neither of them saying a word, but then sometimes words were superfluous. He should have looked ridiculous with his jeans and boxers pushed down around his knees, but he looked anything but. Every muscle in his body seemed to ripple with barely controlled energy. He reached for her and brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek in a whisper of a touch.

A knock sounded on the door, “Raquel, are you awake, dear?”

Ice filled her veins in a heartbeat and she froze for a millisecond before her face and body seemed to incinerate. Oh God! “Grace,” Rocki called out, “yes, I’m up. Give me a minute and I’ll be down to help with breakfast.”

The door opened just a crack and Rocki shoved Slater off the bed and onto the floor. She yanked what she could of the covers over her, and motioned Slater to hide.

He groaned and kicked his pants off.

“Hide,” she whispered.

The man looked up at her from the floor as if he was holding back laughter. “You’re kidding, right?” he whispered back.

Rocki held her breath as the door yawned open a foot, but Grace didn’t come in. “Will you get Slater up, dear?”

“Yes, I’ll wake him.” She slapped at Slater, motioned him to hurry, wondering if a body that big could even fit under the bed. She dragged her nightgown over her head and tripped over the bedclothes on her way to the door. She couldn’t seem to get any of the buttons to cooperate so she grabbed both sides of the button band, held it closed, and slipped out, careful to close the door behind her.

“I just woke up, Grace. I’m sorry if I overslept.”

Grace’s eyes went wide and then she looked away before she backed toward the stairs. “It’s fine, Racquel, you and Slater take your time. Come on down whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay . . .” Rocki’s voice trailed off as Grace scurried away like a woman who’d just remembered she’d left something on the stove. Rocki took a sniff and didn’t smell anything burning other than her temper—she wanted to kill Slater.

When Grace turned the corner to go down the steps, Rocki pushed the door open and found Slater lying naked in her bed with a huge grin on his face right before he laughed.

She couldn’t believe he was laughing. She dragged her eyes from his body—she figured it would be impossible to stay mad at him if she was drooling. “I can’t believe you think almost getting caught in the act is funny.”

Slater cleared his throat and looked as if he were doing his darnedest to stifle the laughter but failing. “I don’t think almost getting caught making love is funny. What’s funny is the sight of you going out there to talk to Grace with your nightgown on inside out.”

She looked down at herself and cringed. “Oh God. She knows.”

“Yeah, and she’s smart enough to know we’re going to be a while.” Slater got out of bed and pulled her into his arms. He stood there butt naked and fully engaged, or should she say engorged—how was a mystery. He acted as if the last five minutes hadn’t happened. As if Grace hadn’t hit them full force with the equivalent of an ice-cold fire hose. As if he’d had the slightest chance of getting her back in the mood for what they were just doing. He was delusional. He kissed her neck.

It was so not working. She refused to let it. She ignored the way her heartbeat drummed against her breastbone like the machine gun double bass in a Metallica song. “I can’t believe this.”

“What?” He slid her nightgown back up while he nuzzled her ear, sending sparks into places that should still be iced over. The man was a living, breathing blowtorch or blowhard—she wasn’t sure which.

“Cut it out.” She tried to step away but he had her right where he apparently wanted her—up against him, and any move she made only made things worse—worse for her and her plan to somehow get out of this catastrophe. Slater just seemed to enjoy it. “Slater, we can’t do this.”

“I have to disagree with you there, sweetheart.” He slid his hand from her ass to her thigh and tugged it over his hip—earning a groan from her. “I think the last few minutes just proved the opposite. I’ll bet my next year’s salary that when we do, it’s going to be amazing. Since we’ve already been essentially caught and we’re going to suffer the consequences regardless, we might as well enjoy ourselves before the morning-after tap dance around the breakfast table and the man-to-man talk with Teddy. He’s going to want to know my intentions. It won’t help your cause any if I had to say that I intend to get you horizontal as soon as humanly possible.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“No, but that’s what I’ll be thinking.”

Rocki wasn’t sure how he did it; he slid his lips over hers and kissed her into submission. Within a minute he had her hotter than ever, breathless, and, well, needy. That was a new one on her—she’d never needed anyone—at least not that way, but damn, Slater was a whole different animal.

He pulled away but still held her tight against him, which was a good thing because if he hadn’t, she might have oozed onto the floor after that last kiss. “I just want to make sure you know I don’t plan to suffer alone. Misery loves company. I’m giving you fair warning. I’m not going to be the only one hot, hard, and wanting. I’m not going to be the only one looking for the nearest broom closet or empty bed. And I’m not going to be the only one imagining us ripping off each other’s clothes. This, I guaran-ass-tee.”

“What?” She wasn’t able to take her eyes off his lips, and she wasn’t able to think about words when his body was sending secret messages to hers, causing reactions she had no hope of controlling. “What are you saying?”

“Think about it. It’ll come to you eventually.” He gave her a perfunctory smack on the lips right before he dropped her leg and gave her a matching smack on the ass. “I’ll just be on my way now.” He stepped back, grabbed his jeans, and tugged them on, watching her while he tucked and buttoned. “I need to mess up my bed unless you want to join in the fun.”

That damn smile of his broke through her good sense and a little bit of her wanted to sigh. He was a sight, wearing nothing but a pair of threadbare 501s only partly buttoned.
She wanted to step forward and spend the next hour just exploring his body.

“We’ll have as good a time messing up my bed as we did yours. I promise.” His gaze zeroed in on the bed. “From the looks of it, it’s a miracle the mattress didn’t slide off the box spring.” He stepped beside it and gave it a hearty nudge with his thigh. “That must have happened when you tossed me over the side. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Oh God, she’d thrown him off the bed. She wanted to hide her face, but she knew he’d just enjoy her discomfort. Instead she did her best to meet his eyes and smile. “My pleasure. If you had moved, I wouldn’t have had to resort to that.”

Slater picked up his boxers, tossed his Henley over his shoulder, and grabbed his boots. “I guess we’re both in for cold showers this morning. Enjoy yours, sweetheart. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Rocki watched Slater strut out of her room as if he hadn’t a care in the world. And she supposed he didn’t. What did it matter to him that Grace had almost walked in on them? And what the hell had happened? One minute he was warm and comforting, saying he’d only stay until she fell asleep, and the next thing she knew she was waking up wrapped around him like the sleeve on an ice-cream cone.

She’d love to blame Slater for the entire thing, but she couldn’t. She’d dreamed of exploring his body with her hands and her mouth. She’d done things to him in her dreams that she’d only heard about. Things she’d never once considered doing to another man, but with Slater, they felt as natural as breathing—until she’d woken up anyway.

Okay, her internal lie detector was calling bullshit. She wished she could say that it had changed when she’d woken up but it hadn’t. If Grace hadn’t shown up when she did, there was no telling how far she’d have let things progress. She shook her head and tried to get the very clear image of Slater kneeling over her out of her mind. Oh yeah, she knew exactly how far she’d have let it go—they’d have gone all the way and she imagined it would have been just as amazing as he’d said.

Rocki’s phone rang and her heart stopped, stuttered, and then pounded like a battering ram against her breastbone as if it were trying to break out of her chest. She jumped on the bed and reached for the phone as pictures of Jackson flew through her mind at warp speed, each more macabre than the one before. God, she’d been making out with Slater while her brother had been fighting for his life. “Hello?”

“Rocki, it’s Bree. Are you okay?”

“Bree?” Relief flooded through her. “Thank God. I thought it was the hospital.”

“Oh, Rocki. I’m so sorry. How is your brother?”

No words of censure, no why-didn’t-you-tell-me-you-had-a-brother? questions. “As far as I know there’s been no change. The hospital said they’d call if anything happened. He’s in a coma. They did a ventriculostomy to relieve the pressure—his head is all wrapped up like a mummy. He was so still—if not for the respirator making his chest move, I’d swear he was dead.” She wiped the tears off her face and wrapped her arm around herself, wishing Slater was there with her. “I’m just getting ready to head over to the hospital—visiting hours start at nine.”

“Okay, I’ll wait to hear from you. We’re all praying and sending good thoughts your way.”

“Thanks, Bree. And thank Pete for me. Slater drove me up here—he’s been so . . . I’m glad he’s here. I don’t think I could have gotten up here without him.”

“Slater has a definite way about him—that’s for sure. He’s got this quiet strength that’s pretty amazing. Give him our love. We’ll talk to you soon. We love you, Rocki.”

“I love you guys too.” Rocki ended the call and realized she hadn’t even asked Bree about her honeymoon. What kind of friend did that? The kind who only doles out need-to-know information. Suddenly all the reasons she had for keeping a huge part of her life a secret didn’t seem nearly as important as she once believed. But then maybe that was because with Slater here putting two and two together, any choice of keeping her past and present separate might be out of her hands.

Rocki dug through her bag and tossed a change of clothes on her unmade bed—the bed she and Slater had been rolling around in less than fifteen minutes ago. It was amazing how much could change in a quarter of an hour. She just hoped that from now on, the only changes in her life would be for the better.

“Damn, talk about piss-poor timing.” Slater figured the only way it could have been worse was if Grace had knocked on the door ten minutes later. But then, if she had, he had a feeling he and Rocki would never have heard her.

He put his hand on the crystal doorknob one room over, which, if he remembered correctly, was the room he was supposed to have slept in. Right now, he just wanted to knock his head against the door. It wouldn’t help the problem he had going on in his pants, but it might take his mind off it.

Slater stepped into his assigned room, let out a frustrated breath, and tossed his boots on the floor beside his duffel.

He hadn’t planned to go there with Rocki. It had just happened, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t happy about it. He’d taken one look at her big blue eyes and all he could do was kiss her. Once he had a taste, once he felt her beneath him, neither of them had thought of stopping—until Grace’s interruption. Yeah, that was the death knell. Rocki had stepped so far back she might as well have been in the next state.

From the first second he set eyes on Rocki, he wanted her. Want, he could handle. He didn’t think the fact that he wanted her more than anyone he’d ever met was concerning—after all, Rocki was pretty extraordinary. It was all the other stuff he was having a problem with. Like the way he thought about her—even when he knew he shouldn’t go there. It was as if she had somehow implanted the image of herself in his brain and invaded his thoughts at the weirdest times. Then there was the way he saw red that first night they’d met when he heard she was taking the subway home alone at two in the morning. He had no idea why that bothered him. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have given it a thought. After all, they weren’t together, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t have a ride to the train. All he knew was that he wouldn’t have slept if he hadn’t seen that she’d gotten home safe and sound. At the time, he wasn’t sure why he cared, but the problem was he did, and unfortunately, it was just getting worse, and he didn’t know what the hell to do about it.

He unzipped his bag and dragged out a clean pair of jeans. Okay, maybe not freshly laundered but at least they didn’t look as if they’d been slept in—he hoped. He dug through his duffel for a T-shirt—a white one, and then grabbed the only collared shirt he owned. He shook it out with a snap, and then gave it a once-over. It was a little wrinkled, but what the heck. He threw it over the hook in the bathroom and hoped the wrinkles would steam out—that was if he turned the water to hot. Right now, he had his doubts. If things with Rocki kept going the way they were, he wouldn’t be able to take a hot shower while they were in the same country—maybe the same hemisphere.

Slater hated taking cold showers almost as much as he hated stopping things when they were just getting good; sexual frustration was not his friend. So he chickened out, hopped into a hot shower, and took himself in hand and wondered if Rocki was doing the same thing. He let his imagination run wild, and it took all of a few minutes to find his release.

He hadn’t been looking forward to spending the day half-hard, but then he didn’t think it would hurt to keep Rocki’s mind on something other than her brother’s condition. Slater looked forward to taking her mind off her troubles just as soon as he had a minute alone with her.

After he dressed, he halfheartedly messed up the bed he hadn’t slept in, and then pulled the sheets back before heading toward the kitchen. He hoped beating Rocki downstairs would take some heat off her. He liked Grace and Teddy, and as funny as it was that Rocki felt like a teenager getting caught making out, he didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable.

Slater slipped out of his room and heard Rocki’s shower going. He did his best not to picture her naked with water running over her body and failed miserably. Shit, he wasn’t the kind of pervy guy who pictured every woman he knew naked—well, not until he’d met Rocki at least.

He ran his hand through his still-wet hair and did his best to put the brakes on that particular train wreck. Shit, he’d gotten off less than fifteen minutes before and his dick was already working on a zipper tattoo. He might as well have been a horny teenager.

He needed a few minutes, so he spent some time looking around the house. Last night he’d been too concerned about Rocki to fully appreciate the place. It was just as nice as he suspected when he’d first set eyes on the mansion. He blew out a low whistle when he stepped into what he thought might be the living room. “So this is how the one percent live.” The Turkish carpets looked old and worn, but beautiful. The furniture was probably antique and every piece had been polished to a shine. The crystal chandeliers gleamed in the morning light, a baby grand piano was dwarfed by the size of the room, and fresh flowers were scattered throughout.

He followed the scent of bacon frying through the massive formal dining room to the kitchen, stepped in, and spotted Teddy sitting at the table. “Good morning.” He met the man’s eyes over the newspaper.

“So I hear.”

There was no pussyfooting around with Teddy, apparently. Slater couldn’t help but respect him. The man went right for the jugular.

“Theodore.” Grace shot the old man a warning look and then turned a smile on Slater. “I hope you slept well, dear.”

“Yes, it’s a very comfortable house. Thank you.”

Teddy stood and gave Slater the hairy eyeball treatment before picking up his coffee and heading to the counter. “Is Racquel on her way down?”

“I don’t know, sir. I heard the shower going when I passed her room.”

Teddy didn’t look as if he bought it, but then Slater really didn’t care. He was pleasantly surprised when Teddy grabbed a mug from the cabinet. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Grace stepped beside him. “Cream and sugar is on the table. I’m making a batch of huckleberry pancakes. We picked the berries last summer when the kids were here. They’re Racquel’s favorite. With any luck, she’ll eat. I hope you’re hungry.”

Teddy poured the coffee, delivered it to the table, and set it down without throwing it at Slater. That was a plus.

Maybe things weren’t looking so bad after all. Still, he planned on sticking close to Grace. He wasn’t chicken—not at all. He chose to think of it as being strategically safe. “Grace, is there anything I can do to help? I’m pretty good in the kitchen.” Not to mention a total suck-up.

“No, thanks.” When the woman smiled, she lit the whole room—no wonder Rocki loved her so much. “I’m used to doing things on my own. Just relax by the fire, and if you’re good, maybe Teddy will share the paper with you.” Grace shot him a wink and a smile.

Teddy didn’t look as though he was happy about the idea of sharing anything with Slater. Besides, he tended to get his news on the Internet. “Do you have Wi-Fi here? I wouldn’t mind checking my e-mail before we leave for the hospital.”

“Of course. Jackson does so much of his work on the computer—he’s in investments and such—that we’ve had it installed. Teddy, get the password from the office for Slater, please.”

Teddy’s scowl told Slater he wanted to refuse, but after one look at his wife, he obviously reconsidered and motioned for Slater to follow.

Slater had known it was coming—he had just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon, not to mention before his morning coffee. Since everything was better with caffeine, he grabbed his messenger bag and the cup before following the old man to a study on the other side of the house.

When Teddy closed the heavy wood door behind them, Slater raised his eyebrows. It had been a long time since he’d received a talking-to by the father of a girl he’d dated. Actually, now that he thought about it, this would be the first.

He set his bag on the floor beside the desk and looked for a coaster on which to set his mug. Seeing none, he decided to just hold it, took a fortifying sip, and waited.

Teddy settled behind the huge desk and didn’t look as if he was in any hurry to find the password.

The situation reminded Slater of the time when he was an E-2 and was forced to stand at attention for more than an hour, waiting for his commanding officer to acknowledge his presence. He took another swig and assumed the position as best he could while holding a mug. The minutes ticked past and Slater didn’t move a muscle.

After what seemed like a half hour but was probably closer to ten minutes, Teddy’s gaze met his. “Grace seems to think there’s something going on between you and our Racquel.”

Slater took that as an order to stand at ease. He’d never done so while holding coffee, but he did his best. “Sir, with all due respect, don’t you think that’s something you should be discussing with Rocki?”

“If I did, I’d be talking to Racquel.”

One thing he learned well in the navy was that if you weren’t asked a direct question, it was best to keep your mouth shut. It had served him well until now.

“Racquel may be a grown woman, but she’ll always be our little girl. She’s been through a lot and she doesn’t need a broken heart on top of the situation she finds herself in with Jackson. Those two are closer than any siblings I’ve ever seen. God forbid—” Teddy turned away and scrubbed his face with his hands.

Damn. Slater felt for the guy, he really did. He didn’t know much about love except for seeing how his father felt about him and his brothers and vice versa. It looked as if Teddy felt the same for Rocki and Jackson—the man must be going through hell. “Sir, it’s not my intention to do anything to hurt Rocki. I’m here to help.”

Wary eyes met his. “So that’s what they’re calling it these days?”

Slater’s fingers tensed on the cup. It was one of those heavy earthenware mugs and had it been something fragile, it would have been in pieces. “I realize this is an upsetting time for you and your family. I don’t know Jackson, but I know Rocki.” And when he thought about it, he realized that he did. He knew Rocki, maybe not as well as he wanted to, but he knew enough to know the woman wore her heart on her sleeve—it might be encased in armor but he had a feeling he knew her heart as well as he knew his own. In that respect he and Rocki were surprisingly similar. “You have nothing to worry about, sir. If I ever did anything to hurt Rocki, I’d have to answer to my father, and believe me, I’m the last person in the world who wants to tug on that particular tiger’s tail.”

“Your father?”

“Pete Calahan.”

Teddy’s eyebrows rose and a smile played across his troubled face.

“I assume you know my father?”

Teddy gave him a nod.

Of course he did. Slater was sure Pop knew everything there was to know about Rocki. It just made sense that over the years, Pop and Teddy had become pretty well acquainted. “Pop asked me to bring Rocki up here. I’m to stay with her, take care of her, and make sure she gets whatever she needs. I think Rocki’s stronger than either of you give her credit for, but no matter what happens with Jackson, we’ll make sure Rocki lands on her feet. She has an amazing number of people in Red Hook who love her and would do anything for her. I’m just one of many.

“Last night, Rocki needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold her. That’s what I did. And with all due respect, sir, anything else that goes on between Rocki and me is up to Rocki. Nothing you say or do is going to change that.”

Teddy gave him a hard, assessing look, and Slater felt as if he were back in the navy under close inspection. “What happened to your face?”

Ah, back to the third, fourth, and fifth degree. “My brother disagreed with something I said to his girlfriend. I was wrong. He was within his rights to come after me.”

Teddy cracked a smile. “I’m assuming you have a job.”

“I spent eight years in the navy. I just completed my secondary degree in computer security and I have a contract pending with OPEC, a job offer with Microsoft, and then there’s always the option of finding something here on the East Coast.”

“I see.” Teddy grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled something on it. “Here’s the password, Slater.” Teddy pushed the paper across the desk toward him and rose. “I think we should get back to the women now before Grace comes after me. Grace might look like a nice lady, but she’s just good at hiding her claws. Talk about yanking on a tigress’s tail. If you have any kindness toward me at all, keep an easy smile on your face for the next hour or so.”

Slater took the first deep breath he’d taken since he’d walked into the study and nodded. “Yes, sir. I’d be happy to, sir.”

•   •   •

Rocki slipped down the back stairs leading to the kitchen like she’d done since she was little, wanting to eavesdrop, and get the lay of the land before jumping headfirst into unknown waters.

Grace flipped pancakes and turned the bacon at the stove—it looked as if she were cooking for a crowd. Rocki sure hoped Slater was hungry because she couldn’t imagine eating more than a few bites.

The men sat at the table discussing something in the newspaper while Slater’s hands flew over his computer keyboard at lightning speed. Whoever said men couldn’t multitask had never seen Slater Shaw in action at his computer, or in bed.

Rocki shook her head. She couldn’t believe her mind went there after she’d spent her time in the shower lecturing herself about the necessity of avoiding all thoughts of Slater’s naked body, the way he kissed, and the size of his—

“Racquel.” Grace’s voice interrupted her X-rated thoughts. “Are you going to stand there all morning or are you planning to join us?”

Rocki’s face felt as hot as the griddle Grace flipped pancakes on. It only got worse when Slater turned and gave her a look that made her face feel like it was under a broiler. The worst part was that she seemed physically incapable of looking away.

He raised an eyebrow and looked as if he was holding back a laugh. That was all it took to spur her to move.

She made a beeline for the coffeepot. Maybe some caffeine would help. At least holding a cup would give her something to do with her hands. She poured herself coffee and then slid four plates out of the cabinet to set the table. When she turned, she almost ran into Slater.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He held the plates between them, leaned in, and kissed her right on the lips. Right in front of Grace and Teddy.