Hadley (The Club Girl Diaries Book 3) (7 page)

By 9:00 p.m. the party had turned from a casual gathering to blaring music, flowing drinks and plenty of bumping and grinding. Families had gone home, Macy was picked up by her aunt and Chelsea had forfeited the rest of the party to take Harlyn and Jayla to her and Op’s room for bed.

I knew she was running low on energy, her usual smile had started to fade earlier, so it was probably best she get some rest.

Op was in and out, spending time with his brothers and checking on her and the girls.

There was a mixture of music filtering through the large speakers out to where the fire pit was set up.

Kat had gotten off her shift at X-Rated early, and we were currently dancing on the patio to
Layla
by Eric Clapton. Kev was standing behind me, one hand on my hips as they swayed back and forth, the other holding a beer. None of the boys were much into dancing, but if it involved rubbing up against one of the girls, they gave it a go.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Tally called over the music as he stepped up to Kat.

She smiled softly, almost shyly, a rare emotion I’d had yet to see from the queen of sarcasm. “Hey, Tally. I wondered if you’d be around.”

He smirked. “And miss a chance to see this again,” he said, reaching out to her waist and pulling her body against him. She fell against his chest and they began to move to the music, blocking out everything around them.

I turned my head to the side. “They have a thing?” I asked Kev. His hand slipped around my waist as he rested his head down on my shoulder.

“I don’t know if you’d call it a thing. But every time the boys are in town, those two seem to be connected at the hip,” he explained.

I laughed. “Kev. That’s what I would call a thing.”

He chuckled. “Okay, then yes, they have a thing.”

Huh, interesting
.

Seeing Kat so smitten and not her confident self was strange and almost sweet.

My eyes drifted past them and connecting with Leo’s as he sat atop one of the picnic tables across the other side of the fire. His feet resting on the seat and a beer bottle hanging from his fingers. Kaylene, another club girl, sat perched next to him, her hand on his thigh as she laughed and chatted with someone beside her.

His eyes stayed on me, though.

The fire gave his face a soft glow. Matched with the intense look in his eyes, he almost looked dangerous.

He was dangerous. The way he looked out for his family. The way he treated Macy. How he touched me, spoke to me, felt inside me, it was all dangerous because it was making me want him more than ever. And that wasn’t why I was here.

Kev’s hand moved up my body, the front of his pants pressing snuggly against my ass. He gripped my breast in his hand, kneading it through my shirt. Our bodies continued to move to the rhythm of the music as his lips found my neck.

My eyes stayed on Leo.

His beer bottle was now clenched tightly in his fist. I was afraid it might explode if he squeezed in any tighter.

I tried to block out the way Kev was teasing my body. Usually, I’d be all for the sexy dance and erotic touching. But the problem was, it felt nothing like Leo’s touch. His had set my body on fire, and I’d gone up in flames. I wanted that burn, that inescapable heat.

I felt like he knew it too. He never looked away, his gaze only becoming more furious. Like he knew that I wished it was him, but that neither of us could do a single thing about it.

I was a club girl.

The boys didn’t fight over us, and I couldn’t say no simply because I was pining over another one of the men. Shit like that caused problems, and it got girls thrown out. These guys didn’t put up with jealous women trying to play games with the members.

Suddenly, there was a body standing in front of me. Kev’s hand quickly moved away from my breast. At first, I wondered why then I realized it was out of respect.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Harmony,” she said with a knowing smile.

I smiled back, standing a little straighter. “Hi, I’m Hadley.”

Harmony was an Old Lady, a president’s Old Lady no less, so I gave her the respect she deserved.

Kev chuckled, his hands falling from my body. “She’s all yours, Harm.”

Harmony grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the patio doors. “Thanks, Kev!” she called over her shoulder. “You’re in Chelsea’s old room, right?”

My eyebrows knitted together as I followed her to the club girl’s hall. “Yeah…”

She pushed my door open and walked over to my bed, turned her body and leaped on it with a bounce. “I need to talk to you. Close the door.”

I did as she asked, wondering what I’d done wrong. She patted the bed beside her, gesturing for me to take a seat. When I did, she turned her body toward me. “I thought I better rescue you from Kev before Leo blew a fuse.”

“What?” I asked, knowing she was right but confused as to how she knew.

She laughed softly, her body seemed to relax more, becoming less like an Old Lady, who wanted to grill me, and more like a friend who wanted to chat. “I love Leo. And I love Macy. I was there when he lost his wife, and Chelsea and I both helped him through it alongside his brothers.”

I nodded. I didn’t know much when it came to details about Leo’s wife, but I knew she’d passed away when Macy was born.

“Both of them mean a lot to me, and I want to see them happy.”

“So do I,” I replied. “But I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”

She looked me dead straight in the eye, her head slightly tilted like she was studying me. “I’ve never seen him look at a girl the way he looks at you,” she said, curiosity in her tone. “Club girls have always been club girls to him. He came, he went, he respected them all, but he never cared if he saw one dancing with one of his brothers.”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah, that was pretty intense.”

“I don’t want to see him… or Macy… get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t,” I protested.

“Not intentionally. No. Chelsea said you’re sweet, that you look out for the kids and do your shit with a smile.” She grinned.

I sighed. “Harmony, I don’t want to be rude, but I really am not sure what your point is. Whether I feel something for Leo or not, it doesn’t matter. I promised I would stick to the rules, no exceptions.”

She shook her head. “He feels something for you. I know it. And you feel it, too.”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel,” I told her quietly. Yes, maybe there was something between Leo and I. It had hit me like a Mac truck, and I still wasn’t sure how to process the things I was feeling. But I was here as a club girl, I needed the club to watch over me until Satan’s Sanctuary sorted things, and this shit with Simon was done.

I made a promise to Optimus that I would follow the rules, no special treatment. I was a club girl, and that meant doing what I had to do despite these crazy emotions running through me.

“Sometimes it’s best not to fight it.” I looked back to her, our eyes connecting. She continued, “These men are exceptional. They stand strong, and they love fiercely. It can be overwhelming to think that they might see you as something more than you see yourself. But if you just let them in, it can be so beautiful.”

I could hear the power in her words, unquestionable belief in what she was saying.

“I hear you,” I told her, my voice barely above a whisper. “But this isn’t on me. He’s the one who holds the power here. So unless he decides there’s something more between us, I have to do my job.”

She sighed but nodded in understanding. The room was quiet, and my thoughts were running wild. I needed something to break the tension.

“Did Kit really make you cuddle with him the first night you were together?”

A burst of laughter came from her mouth. “Yes. Yes, he did.”

“He’s a cuddler? Really? But he’s so—”

“Brooding? Serious? Manly?” she offered with a giggle.

“All of the above.”

She nodded. “Expect the unexpected with these boys. They’ll surprise you.”

I thought back to the way he’d kissed me and held me after fucking me on the table. No, it hadn’t just been fucking. There was something more between us. I’d expected him to walk away, like all the other boys did, with a pleased smile and a
catch you later.

But he was content. Just to… cuddle.

There was a hard knock on the door.

“Come in!” I called, my body slouching, a little disappointed when Slider came through the doorway.

“Harm!” He beamed, spotting her next to me on the bed. She stood up and rushed over to him. He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed her against him.

“It’s good to see you,” she said, stepping back with a bright smile.

Slider had been spending more and more time away from the club, working nights at X-Rated and offered to do any odd runs or jobs away from the compound. I think he thought if he kept busy that no one would notice his decline, maybe he thought he might not even notice.

I guessed it was also a ploy to keep away from some of the girls who practically threw themselves at the men when they were around, knowing that he would have to turn them down, and people would start to wonder why.

“I need to
borrow
Hadley for a little bit,” Slider said when Harmony asked if he’d come have a drink with her.

She looked over her shoulder at me, and I gave her a tight smile. “We’ll come out soon.”

I knew this wasn’t going to be what she assumed it was, but I also knew that he wanted her to think it was. She stepped out and he closed and locked the door behind her.

“How are you feeling?” I asked as he made his way over and took Harmony’s vacated space on the bed.

“Weak, tired, ill,” he answered, lying his body back on my covers. I turned onto my knees, looking down at him.

“You’re sweating like crazy,” I noted, his hairline damp and his face flushed.

He snorted. “Tell me about it. I’ve been getting these hot flushes. The doctor said women get them when they’re going through menopause.”

“Slider…”

“Don’t say it, Hadley. My dick is limp, I feel like I can barely stand, and to top it off, now I’m having women’s problems. I’ll probably get my period soon. Wouldn’t fucking surprise me.”

I sighed. “You’re doing too much. You should be resting, but instead, you’ve thrown yourself into all this extra shit in an attempt to hide from your brothers. It’s not helping.”

“Nothing is helping,” he growled, clenching his jaw. “I’m going through all this shit. Having a doctor feel me up every week, shooting needles into my stomach… and guess what? The cancer hasn’t fucking changed. It’s still there.”

“It’s a process,” I told him softly. “Sometimes it takes time.”

I remembered looking into it when my dad started, there were no guarantees it would work. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn’t. It hurt to see him having to go through this. It was like reliving losing my father all over again. I felt tears spring to my eyes. “Please tell them.”

“Hadley!” he snapped. Pulling his body back into a sitting position, he wobbled slightly before steadying himself. “I told you, the club is all I have. Op will stand me down. I’ll lose everything.”

“Maybe you’re not giving them enough credit,” I shot back. “Maybe they would stand by you. Wanting you to keep doing your jobs. Maybe they would support it.”

“And deal with the pity stares and them constantly asking if I’m all right?” he snorted. “‘Cause that’s how I want to spend the remainder of my life.”

“Don’t say that!” Tears burned my cheeks as they fell from my eyes. “This doesn’t mean you’re going to die.”

He turned to me, his eyes blazing. They soon softened when he realized how upset I was. “Hadley… I just can’t do it. Not right now.”

“Don’t make me keep this a secret,” I whispered, praying he would hear me. “Share it with them, let them take some of the load.”

He shook his head. “For now, this stays between us.”

There was a knock at the door and both our eyes widened. “Hadley?” The doorknob jiggled, but it was locked.