Hallowed Ground (4 page)

“Ember?” Mom asked, her voice soft.

She would understand. Of everyone in my life, Mom would understand more than anyone. “I never wanted this. Any of this. I just wanted Josh.”

“I know, baby.”

“What do I do? I watched you go through this so many times, but I never really paid attention. I was too focused on soaking up Dad while we had him.”

“Good, then I did my job. You gather those papers up; you stick them in a binder and lock it away in your safe. Then you get a grip and you spend the next week and a half with the man you love. Don’t you dare let the fear rob you of these last few days, December Howard. They’re too precious, so you fight like hell for every second with him.”

Because you might not get another one.

Chapter Four

Josh

Time was moving too quickly, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. Somehow the weeks had flown, and we were down to ten fucking days. There wasn’t enough time. I hadn’t done everything around the house she needed help with. I hadn’t made love to her enough, kissed her enough, simply held her enough.

I hadn’t found the perfect time to ask the most important question of my life.

I needed it to be perfect. Not Jagger-ish and huge. No, Ember needed something understated and simple…real. But I had to ask, because if this stupid, nagging feeling didn’t get out of my stomach—well—I wanted my last name attached to her first.

Just in case.

Ember’s hands wound around my waist as she pressed against my back. My eyes closed, and I smiled as peace mellowed every tense muscle in my body. Only December could do that to me, soothe the jagged edges I sometimes felt stayed barely stitched together. I needed to bottle this feeling so I could breathe it in on the long nights to come.

Fuck, I hated Afghanistan.

“Hey,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to my back through the material of my button-up shirt.

I covered her hands with my own. “Hey, yourself.”

She peeked around my side, resting her temple against my arm. Her smile was wide and the brightest I’d seen since I’d dropped the deployment bomb on her. “It feels like Rucker,” she said softly.

I followed her gaze to where Grayson stood at the grill, lecturing Jagger about his marinade choice while Sam and Paisley roasted marshmallows over the fire pit from a couple of lawn chairs. All of this, even the sounds of Morgan and Carter bickering from the sidelines…it was incredibly precious. So hard-fought. So easily lost.

“It feels like home.”

She leaned further into me, simply absorbing it. I loved that about her—how she didn’t need to fill every minute with talk. Maybe it was because we’d both suffered loss early, both learned to savor every seemingly ordinary moment.

“Ember, come show Paisley how it’s done. She keeps setting hers up like little torches,” Sam called.

I kissed her forehead, and she crossed our combined backyard to the girls. I liked that there were no fences between our places. It would be easier for them when we were gone. Ember and Paisley would need to support each other this next year.

“How is Colorado?” I asked Grayson, walking over to where he flipped a shish kebab next to Jagger.

“Exactly what I needed,” he replied, his eyes drifting back to Sam. “How are you feeling about heading back?”

“You want to talk about feelings?” I shot him a little side-eye.

“No time like the present.”

Because there might not be a tomorrow.

I watched Ember laugh, the firelight playing along the lines of her face. My chest tightened. We were living in a vise, watching the edges come closer, helpless to do anything but wait to be crushed. Fuck, it sucked.

“I don’t want to leave her. We’re finally together and I’m leaving again. I guess I thought we’d have a minute or two, you know?”

“Embrace it,” Grayson said.

Jagger turned slowly, his beer bottle paused just under his gaping mouth. “What?”

“Use this time. Feel every stab of loneliness, relish every second you would rip your very limbs off if it meant you could spend five minutes holding them. Let it push you to be the men you’re capable of, the ones they deserve, and let it push you to be even better in the air so you come home to them.”

Come home to them.

“Sam turned you into a sap,” Jagger said quietly, but there was no teasing as we all stared over the grill at our combined lives.

The small smile on Grayson’s face caught me unaware. “No regrets.”

Once dinner was off the grill, we took up seats around the fire, the flames warding off the dipping February temperatures. Not that sixty-five had been a bad high for the day.

Ember closed the sliding glass door, four wineglasses clutched precariously in her hands while she managed to keep the bottle of wine under her arm. “Shall we?” she asked Sam once she reached us, pouring the wine like her answer was a foregone conclusion.

“Yes, please,” Sam answered, and I didn’t miss the glance she sent in Grayson’s direction.

“Jagger, can I get a beer?” Grayson asked as Jagger leaned over the cooler. “Don’t everyone look so shocked. It’s not like we’re going anywhere.” His eyebrows shot up as he looked at me. “Unless your guest room shares a wall with Jagger. I don’t need to hear that shit.”

Paisley shot Grayson a death glare while Jagger nearly choked on his beer with laughter. “No, our guest room does, and that’s just Morgan.”

“Just me?” Morgan asked Carter so quietly that if she wasn’t on the other side of me, I wouldn’t have heard her.

That escalated quickly.

“Just you,” he said with a curt nod, but his knuckles whitened where he gripped his bottle.

Jagger shot me the that’s-none-of-my-business look and passed a beer to Grayson while Ember sent a glass of wine to Morgan.

“Shall we toast?” Jagger asked, a grin damn-near consuming his face as he looked at Paisley.

“Wait, Paisley needs a glass,” Ember said, pouring into the second glass.

“Oh, no, I have water.” Paisley shook her head with a smile.

“Well, I guess one of us should be sober.” Ember laughed, keeping the glass for herself. I pulled her onto my lap, gently squeezing the sweet curves of her hips.

“Behave,” she whispered into my ear, but ran her tongue along the edge.

My fingers flexed, teasing under the edges of the black skirt that had slid higher on her thighs as she sat. I couldn’t help it—her skin was a magnet for my hands. “You like it better when I don’t,” I answered.

She locked those blue eyes on mine, and for that second, I wanted everyone to go the fuck away so I could get my remarkable girlfriend out of her clothes.
Not a girlfriend for long.
Not if I found the perfect moment for that little velvet box hidden upstairs.

Mrs. Walker. December-fucking-Walker.
Sounded perfect to me.

“Earth to Josh and Ember,” Jagger called, waving his hand like he’d been at it a while.

“Yeah, yeah, a toast,” Ember said, wiggling against my now-hard lap. I locked her down with my hands, and she threw me a smug grin, well aware of what she’d done.

Jagger raised his beer. “To friends. Hell, that doesn’t even cut it. You guys, all of you…I wouldn’t be here”—he looked over to Paisley—“or even the man I am, without you. So more than friends…to family.”

We glanced around the fire at the family we’d made, and I felt it—one of those moments you can’t forget, the kind that stay with you when it’s long past, so you try to memorize everything. It was a deep peace, a contentment laced with the silent knowledge that we wouldn’t be together again for far too long.

“To family,” we all said in scattered rhythm, and I kissed the underside of Ember’s jaw.

“Old and new,” Jagger said, the firelight reflecting on something on his—
No fucking way.
How had I missed that? How long?

“Holy shit, Jagger, are you…” I couldn’t even say it, my throat tightening like a damn woman.

Jagger held out that hand to Paisley, who took it with a smile that could have rivaled the sun for its brightness. “You want to?” she drawled softly as he tucked her under his arm.

“So we went up to West Point last weekend to see the parents—” Jagger started.

“—and got married!” Paisley finished.

Silence reigned for a heartbeat before we all started to call out our congratulations.

“That’s amazing!” Ember squealed.

Paisley’s face fell a little. “I’m sorry you guys weren’t there, but it was just Anna and my parents. We figured with the guys deploying, it just seemed like the right time…” Her hands smoothed along her waist, and I felt Ember suck in her breath.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re just so happy for you!” Morgan said through a huge smile.

“Good.” Jagger laughed, pulling Paisley in for a kiss. “Because there’s more.”

Ember’s eyes widened and flicked from me, to the wineglass, and back to Paisley. “No way. She’s pregnant,” she whispered in my ear.

“We’re having a baby!” Jagger said, happier than I’d ever seen him.

Holy. Shit.
A baby. A tiny Bateman.

The girls all screamed at a shrill pitch, abandoning their seats to envelop Paisley in a huge hug and an unintelligible feminine barrage of questions and coos started.

Jagger made his way around the gaggle of ecstatic girls and took the seat Morgan had vacated. I leaned over and pulled him in, hugging him with a slap on the back. “Congratulations, man.”

“Thanks. Some week, right?” He shook his head, his eyes wide with the kind of disbelief he’d had when we’d told him Carter had given up his Apache for him. “I don’t know how I got this lucky.”

“You deserve every piece of this, brother.” I meant every word and made sure he knew it. No one was more deserving of happiness than Jagger. Well, maybe Grayson. I raised my beer. “To family.”

“To family.” One by one Grayson and Will joined, celebrating.

I swallowed the beer and the tiny stab of envy I couldn’t quite keep at bay. Fuck, I wanted that—December with a ring on her left hand and my last name. I wanted to watch her lithe body change with our baby, and hold that tiny, perfect combination of us both. I was done being her boyfriend. I wanted to be her forever.

“How is her heart?” Will asked. As awkward as it could have been, Jagger and Will had made their peace in the last year, turning a bitter rivalry into a close friendship for the sake of Paisley.

“The timing isn’t ideal,” Jagger admitted, locking his eyes on his wife.
Holy shit, his wife.
“But she’s strong, and her heart isn’t giving her any trouble. They’ll monitor her more frequently, but the doc isn’t too worried.”

Will visibly relaxed. “Congratulations, man. Any fool can see how happy you make each other.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry it was so fast, but we were there, and I wasn’t exactly going to leave her a pregnant fiancée for this deployment. God knows I was just looking for the excuse to marry her. Now she’s as protected as I can make her. Make them, I guess.” He sighed, nearly splitting his face with a smile. “A baby!”

“God, I hope it’s a girl,” Grayson said. “I’d love to watch you lose your mind in about nineteen years.”

Jagger’s eyes widened to a nearly impossible size, and we all burst into laughter. “Don’t worry,” I said, punching his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll find a guy just like you.”

“Fuck my life,” Jagger muttered, chugging his beer.

We only laughed harder.

Hours later, the temperature dipped, and everyone started to move inside. I waited until we were the last ones, and then pulled Ember into my arms next to the dying fire.

“How wonderful for Jagger and Paisley,” she said, yawning.

“I’m happy for them,” I answered. Jagger was right. The marriage protected Paisley in a way that Ember was still vulnerable. She had no legal access to me while I was gone, and she’d aged out of her dependent ID card. She couldn’t even get on base without going through the hassle of getting a pass.

She wiggled deeper into my lap, distracting me as she curled so her head lay on my shoulder. I pulled the blanket over us and then kissed the top of her head. “I love you,” I said into her hair.

She sat up with a smile and turned, hooking her knee over my lap, straddling me. “Then it’s a good thing that I love you, too.” She kissed me, opening instantly to leave no doubt in my mind where her thoughts were headed. Her skirt rode up her thighs until there were only my jeans and her panties between us.

Hell. Yes.

One of my hands burrowed through her mass of fire-lit auburn curls to the nape of her neck as the other drifted down her spine until I held her perfect ass. Then I claimed her mouth, sinking into her with deep, swirling strokes of my tongue.

She moaned and slid her fingers under my beanie and into my hair. That one sound was all it took and I was hard, ready to take her in our backyard. I might not have cared if our neighbors could see, but Ember would have, so I tucked the ends of the blanket behind my back, shielding her from anyone who might be looking out their windows at two a.m.

“Josh,” she whispered against my lips as my hand skimmed the soft skin of her inner thigh. Her hips rolled over mine, and a wave of lust slammed through me, quickening my pulse. “Touch me.”

My fingers dipped under her lace panties, and my dick started throbbing at how wet she was. “Fuck,” I muttered, sliding my fingers over her swollen clit. “You want me.”

“Always,” she gasped, resting her forehead against mine as I rubbed her just where she liked it. Her breath came in short spurts, and I teased her entrance, wishing I could slip into her right here. Hell, a simple zip and I’d—
No, we do not fuck our future wife where people might see her.
Besides, that sound, yes, that one, where her breath caught and stuttered? That was for my ears only. I needed to get her inside so I could get inside
her.

Her nails raked lightly down my chest, and she raised my shirt to trace the lines of my abs, pausing in the places that had my breath catching this time. But when she reached for my zipper, I stopped her. “Not here,” I whispered against her lips.

“No one can see,” she urged, rocking her hips against my hand so that my fingers slipped into her with a shallow thrust. “God, Josh. Mmmm. I’ve been thinking about this all night.”

I pressed lightly on her clit with my thumb, unable to keep still while she was moving on my hand like a fucking sex goddess. “All night?” I asked, stroking her inner walls with another measured thrust.

“Mmmm,” she moaned, biting my lip softly. “Every night, really.”

I circled her with the same movement of my fingers, feeding off every single gasp, the slightest movement of her hips. “Always?”

“There’s never a minute that I don’t want you inside me, crave your hands on my body, Josh. That’s never going to change.” Her hand worked its way under my jeans, the angle making it awkward for her to get ahold of me, thank God. The minute this woman touched me, I had all the self-control of a damn high schooler.