Hammer Down: Children of the Undying: Book 2 (16 page)

She spoke as if she expected Devi to be surprised, but running with the crew hadn’t been easy for Cache. She wasn’t a fighter. Even before the complications that had left her deaf, she’d been at risk. The rest of them had tried their best to take care of her, and her contributions had always far outweighed her liability.

But that was just it. Here, Cache wasn’t a liability at all. She had valuable skills. They
needed
her. “I understand.”

“It’s terrifying. I can’t really talk to anyone outside the network, and the thing with the halfblood, with Lorenzo… It’s fading. It was easy when I was worried about Trip. I could reach out and find him, kind of. The same way I reach for the network. Maybe it was something left over from when they healed me, but either way it’s almost gone. I don’t know any of them, and some of them may not trust me. And with all of that, I still want to stay.”

“You’ve never been as fond of the road as the rest of us.” Devi hesitated, torn between offering comfort and permission. “Do you need me to tell you it’s okay? Because it is, Cache. You have to do what’s best for you.”

Her shoulders trembled. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can be on the truck without Shane.”

Devi drew her close again. “I know, honey.”

“I can’t go back out there,” she whispered, the words wreathed in shame. “The demons here can play games, but most of ’em couldn’t pop me. Not as fast as it happens out there. And it was so close, Dev, so fucking close. I’m scared every damn second.”

There was nothing to say. Knowing the threats that awaited outside secure walls didn’t help you
understand
the danger on a visceral level. You had to experience it, have it panting and smiling in your face before it became real.

Cache’s fingers dug into Devi’s shoulders, holding tight. “It doesn’t matter how far you go. The network means I’ll always be a call away, and I’ll do anything you need. Forever, no matter where I am.”

Devi smiled. “If you start dodging me, I know where to find you.”

“Yes, you do.” Cache straightened and scrubbed at her cheeks. “Should I get the others? They’re going to be so mad at me for not waking them up before now.”

“Yeah, we need to talk.” If Cache wanted to stay in Rochester, Devi wasn’t going to stop her. But she also wasn’t going to leave her right away, and they had one more off-the-books delivery to make on their run. One that was already late.

If they wanted to maintain their reputation and keep working as haulers, they needed to get it done.

Zel didn’t want to leave Trip by himself in the network, even though he knew, intellectually, that it shouldn’t be any different than the hundreds of hours Trip spent linked up in solitude, working on complicated projects in the only peace a crowded settlement could provide.

It shouldn’t be different, but it was. Trip might never leave.

Cache’s private network didn’t have an ADS, so at least pain wasn’t a problem. Lorenzo looked frantic to escape regardless, but then he’d never been fond of anything virtual. Willpower and stubbornness held Lorenzo in place. Guilt held Zel.

He watched as Trip completed another line of endless code, his fingers flying over an old-fashioned keyboard. “Are you sure you’re okay here on your own?”

His face held no trace of teasing or amusement when he looked up. “Zel, go. I’m fine. This is
fine
.”

Zel glanced at Lorenzo, who nodded in agreement. “The longer we stay in here, the harder it will be. For everyone.”

Lorenzo was right, but it didn’t make it easier. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

“Zel?” Trip took a deep breath. “Try not to worry about me, okay?” Then he turned away.

The drop out of the network was worse than usual, probably because he didn’t get to instigate it. Zel had no chance to brace himself before Trip severed the connection, and the plummeting fall back into his body rattled him hard enough to make his teeth snap together.

He hissed in a pained breath as the taste of copper slid over his tongue, then looked at Devi, who was still relaxed in the chair, her body lax and her head tilted to one side. She looked peaceful, which he liked, but vulnerable, which scraped his nerves. He could have gone in search of Lorenzo, who was likely tucked into the room next to Trip, but leaving Devi alone and injured wouldn’t do.

Instead he pulled out his handheld and called Lorenzo. “I assume Cache is in the network?”

“Doubt she’s planning on coming out anytime soon.”

There was something odd about the way he said it. “Because she and Devi need to talk?”

“Because Cache doesn’t act like the rest of them. Like she’s ready to go.”

Zel couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Devi, from feeling the sting of pain at the thought of never seeing her again. “At this point, it might make our lives easier if she wasn’t ready to go. Without Trip, we only have Marci. We’re screwed.”

“She knows it too. Cache, I mean.”

She would. “Did you get the impression she might be interested in staying permanently?”

“I think she would be, if she wasn’t so worried about how her boss would react.”

Which was impossible to predict. The one thing he knew for sure about Devi was that she was fiercely protective of Cache. He couldn’t imagine her being comfortable leaving the girl in an outcast city surrounded by strangers. “We can’t push this one through in unofficial meetings. We’re going to have to resume the full council meetings if we want to try to bring this damn place back under control.”

Lorenzo sighed. “In the end, it’s up to you…but I think you’re probably right.”

Being a dictator would be easier, but even a benevolent dictatorship worked best in a small community. Rochester
had
been a close-knit group of refugees, once upon a time, back when Zel had been a child and some humans still fought the demon hordes. The poor, mostly, or the desperate. The rich had already retreated to their skyscrapers and underground warrens, stripping the country bare of its resources as they built a new society with new rules.

Too many generations had passed in Zel’s lifetime. People had children younger, faster. The city teemed with life, more people than he could manage with casual meetings and decisions made with the help of one or two trusted advisors.

Zel didn’t like the council. He didn’t like politics in general, or being forced to sit in a room and talk when it was so much easier to face problems head on. Even now, his skin itched with the need to run, to move, though some of the blame for that rested on Devi’s proximity.

Rage and fear had ridden him hard in their frantic sprint from the garage, and it made walking that edge between violence and sex all the more dangerous. Especially when he knew the sound of Devi’s cries, knew the way her eyes fluttered when pleasure gripped her, how
good
it would be—but had never taken her. Not truly. Not in any way that counted.

Lorenzo’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Zel? You there?”

He sighed. “We need to summon the council. Are you with Cache?”

“She’s right here.”

“Make sure she gets back to her people safely.”

“Got it.” He hesitated. “I know this is an impossible request, Zel, but…get some sleep. You’ll need it.”

“I know. Same goes for you.”

“Soon as I can. Take care.”

A soft
click
signaled the end of the conversation, and Zel let the tiny silver tablet drop into his lap. Devi was still linked up, fluttering eyes beneath lowered lids and her slightly furrowed brow the only sign of movement.

He’d convene the council and let them speak their piece. It would probably be one hell of a piece by the end of it—he hadn’t indulged their need to ramble in a good month and had hoped to go again as long before doing so.

They’d have their chance, but not until late afternoon. He had to get Devi back to her quarters and find a few hours of precious rest. And somehow, in the middle of all of it, he had to deal with the fact that Devi had wormed her way under his skin without even touching it.

Chapter Thirteen

She needed to talk to Zel.

Devi smoothed her hands over her cotton pants and told herself she needed his help. It was true enough; if Tanner and Juliet were going to handle a delivery without her, they could use a couple of extra hands.

She needed his help, but that didn’t explain why she was standing outside his private quarters alone, or why she hadn’t slept yet. She could have pinged him, or waited until later. She could have brought her crew with her to help make her case.

Devi rang the bell.

He answered the door clad in loose linen pants, his hair still damp. A drop of water hit his shoulder and rolled a few inches down his chest before hitting a thick, raised scar, one that hadn’t appeared in the network. It was far from the only one—his body sported plenty.

She stared, shocked. Her tongue itched to trace every imperfection, and it served as a harsh reminder. Except for the frantic kiss in her room, she’d never touched or tasted him, never even
seen
him. Not really. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” He gestured her in with a wave and closed the door behind her. “I was trying to decide if I should link up and check on Trip again, or if he’d get pissed enough to ban me this time.”

“Cache is with him.” Devi had tried to get her to leave the network and rest, but she’d refused. “It’s where she wants to be right now.”

“We owe her a lot.” In spite of the exhaustion in his voice, there was an edge of tension as well, tension mirrored in the way his gaze lingered on her. “Sit down. Can I get you a drink?”

“If it’s no trouble.” She perched on the edge of the sofa and watched him. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll make it.” He walked into the kitchen and returned a few moments later with a pair of cheerfully glazed ceramic mugs and an unlabeled glass bottle. “My brother-in-law is making moonshine popular again. We can’t usually afford to trade with the settlements that have access to distilleries.”

“Juliet keeps a stash of whiskey on her truck.” Her smile felt tremulous, so she bit her lip. “She’d never miss a bottle or two.”

The bottle clinked against the edge of the mug as he poured a generous splash. “Sorry, but I don’t have much in the way of glasses. When the day’s been bad enough to drink this, I’m usually drinking from the bottle.”

“Beats collapsible cups.”

“I guess it does.” He offered her one mug and held up his. “Drink it fast.”

She was no stranger to the burn of hard liquor, but the moonshine left her coughing. Her eyes watered, and she laughed as she shoved the mug at him. “I’m not badass enough for that stuff.”

“It’ll make the world warm and fuzzy,” he agreed, a hint of a smile playing around his lips.

It softened his usually stern face. Languid heat pooled in her belly, and Devi caught her breath. The liquor couldn’t possibly affect her so quickly, so it had to be that smile.

She reached for him without thought, tracing her fingertips over a thin scar on his shoulder. “You didn’t have these in the network.”

“No.” The low rasp in his voice wasn’t her imagination. His fingers drifted up to cover hers. “I get more every year.”

“Me too.” Her hand slid lower, to a small, puckered mark over his ribs.

His skin burned under her touch. His breath hissed out, and he closed his eyes. “Nothing’s perfect in the network. Or everything’s too perfect. Either way, it’s never enough.”

Cache had explained it all to her. The programmers filtered out the tiny details of body scans to save space, to make the simulated environments run more smoothly. It had never mattered before, but now it irritated her. With alcohol singing in her veins, she didn’t even try to hold her tongue. “I want to see you.”

Zel traced his fingers up her wrist, leaving a trail of heat and pleasure in his wake. He followed her arm to her shoulder, then wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. “Dangerous. You’re dangerous to my self-control.”

Knowing her crew hadn’t purposefully brought the spy to Rochester didn’t mean his people would trust her. “Do you want me to go?”

“No.” He tightened his grip, urging her closer. “Lord help me, I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

It sounded like he was talking about more than the next hour, and she fought back the promise that rose instinctively. “I’m here now,” she said instead.

“Then see me.” He swiped his thumb up her neck. “See me.”

She touched his face first, following the lines worry had etched at the corners of his eyes and mouth. “You have to deal with so much. I don’t want to make that worse.”

He wove his fingers into her hair. “For the next hour, all I want to deal with is you.”

“Just me.” Kissing him was different, less frantic but more intense, and Devi shivered. He chuckled, low and hoarse, and teased his tongue along her lower lip, urging her mouth to open.

It hit her like flash fire, the desire she associated with Zel on a primal level. More than a response, like something that existed just for him. She moaned into his mouth and clutched his shoulders.

His fingers slid to her hip and froze. He lifted his head and traced the edge of the bandage on her back. “You’re hurt.”

She’d already forgotten the stitched wounds. “I feel good. I feel right.”

“You’re hurt,” he repeated, but he didn’t push her away. The heat in his gaze had shifted to something else, a slow, hot burn instead of the wildfire. He hooked an arm around her, low enough to avoid her injuries, and hoisted her against his body as he turned for the bedroom. “We do it my way or not at all. I can’t hurt you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and savored the warm press of his chest through the thin fabric of her T-shirt. Nothing about him was soft, not the muscles that flexed as he lifted her higher or the hot, teasing press of his cock through their pants. He was hard. Hard as rock, hard as diamond.

Everything but his eyes.

Liquid mercury, edged with heat and an unyielding possession that made her whimper as he lowered her to the mattress. She touched another scar, this one a small, healed burn on his side, near his hip. “We both have pain, Zel. I don’t want to hurt you, either.”